June 2008: new year, new diets, new resolutions, but when push comes to shove creme eggs are still the solution!

[KnittingRocks]

Sorry, couldn't cope with Christmas anymore!

Oh dear Maya, have some or maybe!

The weekend is a long way away now, but can't your DH have them both for a bit to give you a couple of hours off? What's stopping you leaving the house just now with the DC. Is it because of potty training?

S is going through a very whiny phase (aren't they all?) atm. I was being very shouty all the time because of it which was really frustrating and upsetting me. I've tried to change how I approach it which has had some success. I definitely pick my battles more (in order to head off whiny behaviour before it starts) and when he is being whiny I try and get down to his level and explain very firmly (several times) why I need him to do/not to do something. If he's being very whiny, I tell him I can't hear him because of the whining and that he needs to speak properly. If all else fails he gets the 1,2,3 and then time out very consistently. It's definitely made a difference. Still get plenty of whining but I feel much better at coping. The other thing I've been better at doing is ignoring whiny/bad behaviour. I used to try and do it but would give in and tell him off too quickly, but now I just tell him that I'm going to leave the room and come back when he's stopped whining/ready to eat dinner (or whatever the problem is). It's been working really well. I usually go back about 5 minutes later and I get a big cuddle and ready agreement to do whatever was causing bother before.

DH is off today so he's out with S while I study Roll on May when the exams are out of the way and I get a bit of a break to have some family time!

Maya you poor thing - move back here and we can have our whiny potty training and newborn kids together!

Luke did something extremely sweet today. He got up this morning, took his nappy off and did a wee on his potty and then put a new nappy on all by himself before coming it to me to tell me all about it bless him!!! He's getting so independent now. He often comes in in the morning fully dressed now where he's taken off his pjs a d chosen t shirt and trousers and put them on. They are growing up!

Amber he's getting very grown up isn't he - perhaps it is the responsibility of being a big brother!

Maya you sound shattered, have another on me. On the things you wanted advice on, I can offer the following:
Potty training - no sensible advice here, my record goes, taking exactly the same approach, one child took a year, the other trained herself overnight. So maybe the advice in that is, whatever is happening on that front that's stressful, it is probably not your fault!
Whiny, clingy toddlers - are horrible to deal with when you're tired and juggling two. probably called for here.
Routine for 10 week olds - would be lovely!!
How to stay sane through it all - inveigle anyone you possibly can to help out so you can get a break. If GPs are nervous of taking kids on their own, could they come visit so you're still in the house but not solely responsible and can take an hour or so of peace?

Oh and what to take for agonising backpain when bf-ing - I always figured that if they sent me home with a newborn with co-dydramol, that co-codamol if necessary couldn't hurt Paracetamol and ibuprofen are fine, and paracetamol with codeine probably OK if the other two don't touch it, esp. if you had it in the hospital with no ill effects, but keep an eye on the baby - see this factsheet from the breastfeeding network and this one on codeine. Don't suffer unnecessarily 'cos that'll make everything worse.

Is there anyone who can check your positioning while you are feeding? not so much for latch but for the ergonomics of how you are sitting? Are you still supporting the baby on pillows or have you started taking the weight with your arms? Can you feed lying down?

Just marking my place as it fell of my threads I'm on - at work so will post later - DH offshore again today :(

It is mega quiet at the mo isn't it? I need to get luke a uniform for his new school. A blazer for50 quid! Hope they have one in their 2nd hand sale.

Keepcalm, Amber & Systems - thank you so much. As you can tell Monday was a bad day!

Potty training has been shelved for a while - not a single success on Monday (had to stop and restart whilst my sister stayed) and the next time we try, it'll be DH dealing with the first day.

Whiney toddler so much better when not toilet training andwhen Mummy stops shouting . My new plan is no more shouting, we are both so much happier. I wonder if it's like the theory that the act of smiling puts you in a better mood. Good advice keepcalm.

The backpain when bf-ing meant what drugs can be used in combination with bf-ing, although how I sit when actually feeding may well be a factor. I have gone back on the drugs I was given when I left hosp for CS pain. Not ideal, but I will work on a longer term solution when I'm in less pain. Thank you systems.

When DH got home on Monday I went to the supermarket just to get some milk. The solo 5 min walk there and back with my ipod on loud was great! I am making a concious effort to leave the house daily, whether alone or with the boys even for just ten mins. It seems to help.

MIL taking R out 2m morning. And have spoken to DH - he has promised me a few hours 'me time' a week. So I joined the local gym today - other than the pub there's not much else to do here in the evenings! But exercise is meant to make you feel good and I'm sure fitting into smaller clothes would help my mood no end.

Feeling sooooo much better! Really appreciate your comments. Big un-MN-like hugs to you all.

Lol at blazer for a 3 year old. Have some wonderful photos of my bro and sis at their very private, very posh kindegarten. DB in a maroon blazer, grey shorts and grey cap.

Ry will be considered poncy because he will be wearing shoes! It's a kiwi thing, shoes are very much optional, I'd estimate that only about 30% of kiwi kids do P.E. in shoes of some sort. Mad!

Glad you're feeling better Hun! Getting out definitely makes you feel better doesn't it? What about getting your hair done? I'm doing that this afternoon to try to stay awake long enough to meet my friend! Babies are sleeping better. M is brilliant and goes till almost 5am after her 1030pm feed. I does not. She only has a tiny amount at 1030 and falls asleep so won't go long without another feed. Any advice anyone? I though of just leaving her until she wakes instead of waking her at 1030 but then I'd be feeding her zbou 1am then probably again before she wakes and M at 1030 and 5 so I'd be up and down all night!!

10.30-5 is great! No advice on trying to get M to take more - maybe don't wake her one night and just see how she goes? She could sleep till morning you never know.

I wish Daniel would sleep till morning - I am knackered. Still got this awful cold although am much better than I was. We are all ill and tired and grouchy. DH is off work from Friday until 2 weeks Monday which will be great, we are going away for the first week to a holiday park-type thing near Blackpool. It is a cottage and has a pool and soft play, a restaurant, take-away, Costa coffee etc. Might try D with some sleep training (altho any attempts so far have been futile). He has another respiratory tract infection, he wouldn't settle in his cot last night, also cried when I tried to bring him in with us so he ended up sleeping in his bouncy chair at the side of our bed. I think he wanted to be a bit upright. He went from 10.30-4.30 though .

Whinge whinge whinge from Theo here - not so much Esther. He just likes things just so and if he doesn;t get them you get meltdown. This morning he sat at the top of the stairs for ages whining 'want to go first, want to go first' because me, Esther and Daniel had come downstairs before him. I just ignore him. Your strategies sound sensible Keepcalm. I don't really get 1,2,3 though... Don't you always end up getting to 3... therefore why not just say do it now? It seems to just prolong the agony iyswim!

We don't always get to three now Neenz. I usually tell S that I'm going to count to 3 and when I've finished I want him to do X. It gives him a chance to think about it and calm down a wee bit. If he doesn't then do what he's being asked to do he gets a time out. We had a lot of time outs when we started doing it, but not so much now. For us, the counting time gives us both a bit of a breather and stops the adrenalin building up, so S is less likely to get into full tantrum mode and I'm less likely to get shouty.

I've definitely noticed a real difference over the last few weeks since I changed how I approached things (which came after a particularly shouty/whingy/upsetting few days). I feel much calmer and am enjoying time with S much more (not that I wasn't before, but you know what I mean).

Anyway, Fringe is back so I must go watch! Maya, I'm really glad you're feeling much better.

waves.

DH working horrid shifts so not been about on here much. will try and catch up again soon.

Oh, and got sidetracked tonight when I meant to catch up by the masterchef thread

Amber - 10.30-5am!!!! I wish.

Neenz - the just so or tantrum thing is exactly what we have here.

Anyone still got a toddler that naps? If so, at what time? We have meltdowns from about 5pm until bedtime at 7.30pm, it seems to be due to tiredness. Any ideas? Also may be related, sudden fear of the dark, but only at bedtime - think it may be a stalling technique of sorts, but lights off = tantrum, lights off = sneaking out of bed to play!

Despite the above I agree with you keepcalm, changing how I deal with R has meant the last three days have been so different to Monday, in a very good way. Having fun with one another again instead of one long constant battle IYKWIM.

Hiya Shouldersback

Amber - had a fringe trim today actually, but you may recall my rants about NZ hairdressers before. I will be re-doing it myself again tomorrow. [sigh] Hope you enjoyed your lovely London hair salon. Actually didn't you have your hair cut shorter recently? Did I miss FB photos? Off to check...

Hello! I have time to post, because we are all ill.

I've been spending the last few weeks taking advantage of the better weather and trying to get the garden sorted out, it looks better, but it has been eating into my MN time, I've been trying to read when I get a chance but actually sitting down to post never seems to happen anymore. I have not forgotten you all though and am generally reading. Was going to say hi the other week when I was mentioned but as usual got sidetracked.

This week though we have had a heady combination of colds and coughs (all of us), conjunctivitus (boys all week, and I woke up today with it), teething (H), diarrhoea (J) and probably more that I have blocked out! DH has been off work all week, which is unheard of for him, he has previously only ever had about one day off sick in all the time I've known him, and he has cancelled an MTB trip to the lakes this weekend (which is making him very miserable).
I've been the most healthy of all of us this week so I've been taking J out in the mornings (he's not been too ill in the mornings either, while H and DH snooze and watch Postman Pat), it's a bit of a revelation going out with only one child, so much easier! We've both enjoyed it. This morning though I feel rubbish again and a bit of pottering in the garden has meant I need a good sit down to recover!

Maya- J still has afternoon naps, most days. At the moment he is shattered due to illness, the other day he had got into bed and tucked himself in while I was doing H's nappy. Usually he takes a little more persuading but if he doesn't have a nap he is a nightmare in the afternoon.

We are struggling with bad behaviour here too, he listens to what we are telling him not to do, then does it, all the time. We are being pretty strict with time out when he does that, which works a bit, but still he carries on. I think I might try out the counting to 3 thing KeepCalm, sounds worth a shot. Rewards for good behaviour are fairly successful here, if he's in the right mood.

Neenz - that sounds like a place I went to about 15 years ago with a group of friends, what is it called? If it is we had a great time , enjoy yourself.

Amber - you sound like things are getting slightly easier for you? I hope so.

Dewin - when are you due?

Hello to everyone else! I am in need of a cuppa now and am sure to get dragged away/sidetracked onto something else. Hopefully won't be too long before I can post again.

Nice to hear from you ktpie - sorry to hear about the illness though! We're hoping to get some garden tidying done this weekend.

Maya, S still has a post-lunch nap at nursery for an hour at lunch. He had pretty much given up napping otherwise though, so if we're at home I normally put a dvd for some quiet time about 2 o'clock-ish. Recently he's taken to napping about half way through the dvd though. If I'm being good I wake him up after an hour, if I'm enjoying the quiet I don't... He's been conking out a lot about 4 pm recently though so clearly very tired. It doesn't seem to affect him going to bed though he takes as long as he always does to settle

Haven't time to post proprly but...babies slept well last night! I canned the 1030 feed and m slept from 730 to 530 and I slept 730 to 415 a hurrah!!!!

Hurrah! Well done M going 7.30-5.30 [jealous]

It's Ribby Hall we're going ktpie. Nice to hear from you again - we've had illness here too

is it just the boys who are giving us problems? Esther is so good she doesn;'t really give me any bother. Theo on the other hand... . He had a thing about the dark too - We were keeping the light on in the hall and door open at bedtime but they were getting up making nuisances of themselves, so now we are very strict on having all the lights off (but we keep their bedroom door open). I think it is just a control thing with him - he is not really bothered about the light or the door, just like going down the stairs first, having a green bib on, getting into bed himself, sitting on a certain step to have his shoes put on...

I can assure you neenz it is not just the boys!

Same place Neenz, have a good time.

I feel worse than ever today, which is a bit depressing as I've been ill for a week and would really like to be better for the weekend. I think it is the conjunctivitis now, my whole face aches. The boys are on the mend though, which is good.

Neenz - your description of Theo could describe J, but obviously with slightly different palavas.

Amber - excellent news about the sleep!

ktpie - i read that as slightly different pavlovas. was confused!

That wouldn't make sense Biscuits (I rarely do), I really fancy a pavlova now (not a palava, we have plenty of those), haven't had one for ages.

I make a mean pavlova, if I do say so myself - always a good pudding for impressiong people and much easier than they look! I had a vision of T and J facing off, one with a strawberry one, and the other with a slightly more exotic raspberry and passionfruit...

Mmmmm, pavlova, yummy. Just strawberry and cream for me please.

I love pavlova! Never made one but I know even if it's crap you can call it an eton mess!

Madeleine still sleeping well and Isabella nit bad at all now. They are a pound different in weight so it's not surprising one sleeps better.

Luke has a temp of 39.5 today and has been up all night. No other symptoms though. I wonder what it is. I guess a doctor woul say calpol and keep him cool and hydrated right?