Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Clara, I am with you on the exhausting madam thing, DD is currently throwing her weight around testing the boundaries... Yesterday she screamed for at least 10 minutes about her shoes, she wouldn't undo them and so they wouldn't come off. Then she screamed at me to do it and I refused and ignored her until she said please (eventually she did). DS1 ran over to her and offered to take them off but I barked at him told him to leave her until she asked nicely Everyone is so quick to do what she wants to keep her happy that she's getting very spoiled. Mornings are a real trial with her (especially mornings after I've worked as DH doesn't put her to bed early enough), she refused to tell anyone what she wanted for breakfast today (quite normal) so we left her to it! I explained that if she didn't choose she'd have nothing and if she wanted cereal she'd have to have it then or wait until we got back from the school run. She ended up eating a flapjack and frube on the way to the school. I often end up wrestling her into her clothes in the mornings and shoehorning her into the buggy and she screams all the way to school

I'm hoping if I don't pander to her then eventually she'll level out again.

Well done Martha for riding with no stabilisers! You should be proud! DD can't even pedal her bike with them yet

Buzzy how sad for your BF I'm glad things are going well for you both, I hope the funeral goes as well as these things can for him.

Skid, have you decided whether to take the job or not? Congratulations on getting it! Its a hard thing being a Mum, guilt is a major part of it I find. DD has been getting really clingy about me going to work and started crying about it yesterday at about 4 o clock, I don't go until 7. DH has to peel her off me while she sobs and begs me not to go It breaks my heart but she's usually fine after I've gone.

BT, I can't believe you're so close to the finish! It is very tiring to be heavily pg with another to run around after but don't be so sure about your biological clock! I was adamant DS2 would be my last...until I was holding him when he was about 3 days old and realised I did not want him to be my last. I think I'm done now, I don't really want any more (not practical for starters house and car wise) not 100% sure though as when DH said about getting the snip I said no as it just seems to final to me. I think I will feel happier once I have sorted out what the next stage of my life will be, I've been child-rearing for nearly 11 years now and am scared I won't find anything else as enjoyable to do

beckle - you DD sounds JUST like my DD who is 5.5 - she doesn't scream all the way to school any more but other than that.... hopefully your DD will grow out of it sooner though! It is sooooo tiring but I console myself with the idea that being spirited, determined and opinionated are very good qualities in an adult woman so in 15 years' time when they're high-flying feminist go-getters it will all be worth it

Re job I will definitely take it - getting a job in academia atm is close to impossible so I am very lucky to have an offer. I spoke to my mentor yesterday and she said she reckoned they would be OK with me working at 80% which means I could leave at 3 every day and pick up DD which would be perfect.

BT big sympathies - the last few weeks are so hard, especially with other DC. Hope you get lots of opportunity to rest and that your DH is doing as much as he can with Daniel. Can't believe you'll have a tiny little baby girl in less thatn 8 weeks [excited]

Huge congrats on the job Skid and brilliant that they will let you work until 3 every day - you must be relieved. I think being there after school at this age, if you can manage it, is so important. Although I hate saying things like that as I realise there are so many women who just don't have the choice

Glad I'm not the only one with a stroppy child (although hoping she won't still be like this at 5.5...) More tantrums this morning , mostly because she didn't like the dress I forced put her in ("I look howwible") then because we were so late for playgroup I had to drive instead of her going on her bike....yesterday she tantrummed because I didn't happen to have a pear on me right that very minute....Beckle, your mornings sound very like mine!

In terms of what you are going to do next, have you had any thoughts? I am glad I am doing something but am aware it's not going to be a huge money-generator so not sure whether I will eventually find another job as well. I just love the idea of working for myself and being flexible, which is why teaching antenatal classes works well.

BT - wow, it's so exciting, only a few weeks to go! We were discussing home births at my tutorial on Wednesday. Are you thinking about a home water birth? Where are you planning to give birth? What will happen to Daniel when you are in labour, are you planning to have him around or will someone take him off somewhere?

I saw a post from Clairey on FB so she is still around. Hopefully just living the good life!

Yes, I can't wait... I am hoping baby will come a bit sooner, in about 4 weeks would be ideal.
I keep thinking "27th May", I have no idea why! I would be 38+3 then.

MW coming over to discuss my HB plan in more detail.

hope all goes well with MW BT but you have clara too - your online antenatal supporter . I always wanted a water birth but never got one, and in the comfort of your own home as well - perfect . Was DS a homebirth? I can't remember.

Must be difficult deciding what to do with the rest of your life clara but I guess for now you are doing something you really like and that fits well round the DDs. Maybe when they are both at school you can think about whether you want to do something else too? Does setting up your own business appeal?

BT I hope she does come early but bitter experience tells me this is often not the case and thinking a baby will come early can bring you very close to insanity. I did this with both DD and DS2 and it was so awful to still be pg at 41.5 weeks when I had thought I would have them a bit early. Fingers crossed you will have a very different experience!

DS was a hospital birth, very fast straight forward labour but the experience itself was awful.
I HATED being in the hospital.

I am not getting a birthing pool, I did look into it but due to the lay out of the house it will be far too much hassle filling and emptying it plus DS will be mucking about with it as well!

I must admit I generally let DD choose what to wear altho I draw the line at party dresses for daycare! My philosophy is to let her have lots and lots of small victories (or to give her the impression she is) but stay firm on the big stuff. She doesn't tantrum any more (much!) but she is a VERY bossy madam at the moment.

That's so great about the job Skidd, you must be really thrilled! I must admit I'm going through a phase of feeling rather ambivalent about mine. I feel pretty much trapped in it though. We live a pretty good life and the house we live in is my ideal house so downsizing doesn't feel like an option. Clara, sounds like you're really enjoying the ante natal training - that's so cool.

BT wow already 35 weeks. If you possibly can - enjoy the last 5 weeks of relative freedom. It will be pretty full on for you after that!! Have you decided on a name yet?

Hello, I'm here!
Haven't been posting much as have been feeling a teensy bit negative lately Think it is largely hormonal though, was getting horrendous ragey pmt so dr put me on the pill to try and even me out a bit but instead I have been having a period every other week for the past 3 months. Stopped taking it now so hopefully be back to normal soon.

DD needs glasses . She is happy about it actually but I know how mine have always felt like a burden to me and I was bullied about them and had no self esteem so I can't help but be a little bit upset that she needs them already. Even now I feel like the ugly duckling when I take my contacts out at the end of the day and feel like a completely different person when I have to wear my glasses. Trying hard to be positive about her glasses and not to project my own issues onto her though...

Sorry very selfish me me me post perhaps I should have stayed away longer!

Hi Clairey, nice to see you!!
You do sound rather down though. You should feel free to have a good moan here - you're amongst friends :) Has anything else been happening?

Awwww FO - have an unMNy hug from me!

I know exactly what you mean about glasses, I had similar issues as well when I started growing up.
But these days kids have access to a much larger range of glasses, none of those horrible NHS ones they used to have when we were kids! I would deffo pay a little more to get some really nice trendy ones (but not designer!!!) if DS ever needed them.

clairey although very to hear from you. What pill were you on? I found microgynon made me in to a crazy banshee and haven't touched the pill since. A period every fortnight isn't good - did the Dr have any ideas about why this happened? Might be worth getting checked

Also sympathies re glasses. There is a 94% (or similar) chance that DS1 will need them soon because of his squint and I am also worried about bullying etc. However as BT says they have some really nice ones nowadays. Two little girls in DD's class have just got glasses and they both look lovely and I know DD is slightly envious of one girl's purple ones and thinks they are very cool

How is everything else? WC?

buzzy - do you think you might start a new career then? Something to do with child development surely? You are so clued up and interested in it. How is your BF getting on? Is he back? Has the funeral happened yet?

BT - so exciting with so little time left to go, are you getting some time to rest?

Skid I had similar with microgynon after having dd so the dr gave me the mini pill this time, said it was less mood swingy(or whatever he said to that effect in doctorish terms). Said the periods were 'spotting' even though they lasted between 3-5 days each time. Haven't decided yet whether to try something else or whether to put up with a day or two of rage each month!

Everything else ok, been quite busy recently esp at weekends, not sure if maybe that has left me feeling a little flat in between the busyness iyswim.

WC, well I haven't seen him since my birthday (usually once or twice a week) as he was working away for a bit and we'd also kind of decided to cut down the contact a bit...then his gf found a message he'd sent me saying he missed me and would try to see me soon and got suspicious so won't see him until things calm down with her. She was outside my house to see who I was and everything, was going to confront me but didn't . He has apparently told her he's not going to stop seeing me/talking to me and she needs to accept that we are friends or they'll split up So yeah I guess there has been a bit of drama there and I have missed seeing him but am just trying to move on really.

Glad to see I'm not the only one with dramatic 3 year olds at the moment, ds' current phrase is "I've never EVER eaten dinner/gone on the seesaw/had a bath/something equally ridiculous before"

We had a power cut last night and I accidentally flashed the man next door I was wearing my pyjamas and leant out of the window to check if other people had power just as he shone his torch in my window. I was oblivious and waved cheerily at him and he nodded then quickly walked away. THEN I realised my whole boob was out Second time this week I have exposed myself...on tuesday morning I got out of the shower, realised my top was still in the kitchen so wandered naked downstairs and through the sitting room to get it. It was only on my way back through the sitting room that I realised the dc had opened the curtains so anyone outside would have seen me naked. I might get a reputation in the neighbourhood for public nudity!

clairey - is it cezarette that the dr put you on? If so, there are loads of threads on MN about how it can seriously affect your mood to the point of feeling suicidal. There are some serious horror stories. I think some people are particularly susceptible to their mood being affected by these kind of hormones and it sounds like you are one of them. I am too, and for that reason I have decided never to go on the pill again.

Re WC - sounds awful, poor you. To be fair, if i was his GF I would be VERY unimpressed with my BF sending another woman a text saying he missed her and would try to see her soon. I think the fact that he texted you, and that he told her she had to like it or lump it, does not bode well for his relationship with her. for you that you are missing him though

and at the flashing, especially the torch one

Skid it was micronor, lots of threads on random bleeding on it and a few on depression too.

I feel really bad for his gf actually. I'm pleased in a way that he has said he won't stop seeing me because it shows he does actually value my friendship and wasn't just trying to get in my knickers but I also think that to do the right thing by her he maybe should stop seeing me because our relationship hasn't been innocent and he definitely would have had an affair with me if I had agreed. That's why we'd agreed to less contact because after we slept together it would have been all too easy to carry on and he'd tried stuff a couple of times and I'd found it really hard not to let it happen. I think missing him has kind of hit a peak at the moment, it was hard then got easier then got harder again the longer it was...sure it will get easier again as I get used to not seeing him. Plus I have to admit I do miss the male attention so it's not just him but that as well feel happier about doing the right thing now though, the guilt was quite a heavy load!

clairey - I think you've definitely done the right thing. If you had continued seeing him, something would surely have happened - whether his gf came and confronted you, or he tried it on again etc etc - understand feeling a bit bereft at lack of attention though - is there anything you could do to remedy it? Any other possibilities?

DS2 is finally walking (aged 14.5 months) and SO proud of himself - very cute. He's at that lovely stage of understanding a lot but not speaking (apart from a few words) which is my absolute favourite stage of lang development - I can't even think about them all talking at me all day [head explodes]

Did a 10K on Sunday and really enjoyed it, did it in just under 55 mins which was my target so v. pleased with myself [blow own trumpet emotion]

Ooh well done ds2 Can't believe he is so grown up already!

10k I think you are nuts

ERm if I'd read it this morning I'd have said no to other possibilities but my friend has been telling me about a single man at her work for a while and it seems she has been telling him about me also as apparently he wants to add me on facebook and maybe go out. She said he is lovely but he is also short, ginger and a bodybuilder (completely not what I'd normally go for but maybe that's a good thing!)

Skidd - well done to ds2!! IKWYM in terms of speech, DS talks non stop and it does my head in sometimes especially when he repeats himself over and over!!

FO - single bloke sounds like he might be okay. Go out with him if you want but don't feel pressured to.

ooh definitely worth a meeting, or a 'look see' as my DH would say

While a short ginger bodybuilder doesn't sound great on paper, the reality might be gorgeous - go for it girl

one armed typist here sorry!
Good practise Clairey if nothing else! Might also be good confidence booster?
Skidd, well done to DS2. :) Re change of career I must say I fluctuate madly between wanting to chuck in towel on well paid prof career poss on brink of partnership at Big 4 CA firm, and much more rewarding stuff around child development. Part of what holds me back is the enormous shoes I'd be trying to step into. I'd need to carve out something a bit diff from my Mum's achievements.

Oooh yes I saw you had fractured your elbow Buzzy - hope you're ok. How did you manage that?
Clairey - your friend isn't doing a great sales job with that guy, is she? However, dh wouldn't have been my type on paper yet here we are, 8 years later, so you never know. Sometimes it's down to chemistry.
Martha sings most of the day, when she isn't talking. She is hilarious what she comes out with though. My recent favourite the other day was when she turned to two of my friends and said "Do you know, I've got a pancake in my bag"!
Skid - are you doing Race for Life? It seems to be the thing to do round here. I have said I would do it next year and now have more impetous (is that a word?) as have just found out my oldest friend has breast cancer I don't see her very often but when we do we get on so well - I have known her since we were 4. Just waiting to hear how bad it is/what stage it is at.

Hmm short ginger man actually looks quite fit, although a total poser and yoof-speak type person. My friend isn't like that at all, and wouldn't like someone who was like that irl so maybe it's a facebook persona...We shall see (and he might think I'm a minger anyway)

Sorry to hear about your friend Clara

Buzzy hope the elbow isn't too painful. I can imagine it must be pretty daunting to follow in your mum's footsteps in the child development field, and tricky to risk it too if your existing position is already a good one.

FO - if he thinks you are a minger, he needs his eyes testing Go out, relax and have fun!

Stranded - so sorry about your friend

Skidd - I think you are on my FB friends? PM me and I will happily sponsor you to do the Race for Life, have you got a fund raising page set up? I did that a few years ago when I did it.

Buzzy - how's the elbow? Do you have a cast on it?

Anyway wants some advice (have posted it on the 3yo support thread) but wanted to know what you lot (esp Buzzy) though.

I have a question about listening.
DS sometimes doesn't listen, at times I have wondered if he has a hearing problem but he hears me if I whisper "would you like some chocolate?"

Nursery have commented on it as well. You ask him a question or ask him to do something but he completely blanks.

Now I have to admit I do this, I get completely engrossed in something (such as a book) and DH will be talking to me and he gets annoyed when I ignore him

Now I am finding it frustrating when DS does it. Is this normal 3yo behaviour or a sign of something else

Well he has sent me a couple of messages on facebook so it's a start...

BT think that's normal, both mine do it esp dd. And she is driving me mad with her nose always in a book atm! I love that she loves reading so much but I am now realising how antisocial it can be (clairey apologises to family and friends and maybe even exH for general lost in a book-ness over past 26odd years)

Does it matter do you think that the books she is reading at home are way above what she is reading at school? Eg she will take a roald dahl book to bed with her and finish it in two nights but is still reading shorter stories at school

BT - I think it depends on the extent to which he does this as to whether it is a concern. Definitely lots of/all children do it sometimes. It was one of my concerns re my DS1 and it CAN in conjunction with MANY OTHER behaviours be associated with some developmental disorders (ASD, SPD) but if this is the only 'symptom' then I'm sure this is not the case for your DS. Might be worth asking your HV/GP about it just so they are aware. But not to scaremonger at all, if this is his only notable behaviour then I'm sure all is well.

clairey - oooh exciting - are you going to meet him?

clara - so sorry to hear about your friend. Such an evil disease. Any more news? I hope they have got it early

BT - thanks for offering to sponsor me yes we are fb friends (although I'm not a big fb-er) - haven't registered yet but will let you know

buzzy - OMG what happened?? Are you OK?

DD is also obsessed with reading atm - I love it as it gives me some peace