Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

November 2010: Welcome to life on the other side

983 replies

bunnygirl80 · 18/11/2010 23:14

Pull up a chair and help yourself to a LARGE glass of wine

Welcome to the dark side the wonderful world of motherhood Smile

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hmmSleep · 29/11/2010 12:48

Cardi, Lottie had terrible milk spots, was covered, then after a couple of weeks they suddenly disappeared over night! Was most pleased.

grinning, it can all feel a bit much can't it, I've had a couple of minor breakdowns now! If it's any help a midwife once told me she gets worried when a house is too tidy. Hope you're feeling better today.

grinningbee · 29/11/2010 12:51

Not too bad here thank you. Dh is still out, but I've managed to get dd to sleep, and ds hasn't woken for more boob yet, but will be soon.

He was born covered with milk spots (nose is the worst bit). Dd had them too but they did go on their own.

Angry at your MIL - what an awful thing to ask you at any time, let alone in our current fragile tired/hormonal state!

Mibby · 29/11/2010 14:33

Health visitor was here earlier, Annabel's put some more weight on :) but lots of milk spots here too :(

sarahbuff · 29/11/2010 21:33

Hi ladies! Haven't been on much lately, just been enjoying my baby girl(!!!). :) She is 12 days today, and weighs 9lb 14.5oz (was 9lb 2oz at birth). And thanks to her making me feel ill almost the whole pregnancy and being a keen feeder now, I only have two more pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. lol!

To CardiCorgi, if the spots don't get better or she starts to be fussy for no obvious reason, it might be a food sensitivity. My DS1 and DS2 both got a terrible rash around 2 weeks old, and with DS1 I went to the doctor as it started on his face and spread over his head and down his body as time went on. She told me it was baby spots that it would go away. It didn't, and so I quit eating any dairy to see if it was that, and in fact it was. I let the rash clear and then had something with dairy in it and sure enough, he had spots the next day. With my DS2 he couldn't tolerate dairy or soya (we had started having soya instead of dairy because of DS1's probs with dairy, and when I quit dairy with DS2 the rash got worse, it turned out to be because I was having more soya. Then I tried having dairy once the spots were clear because I'd been off soya, and he got spots from dairy too). Thankfully DS3 didn't have problems with dairy or soya, and so far my DD hasn't gotten any spots. May be a little early still though. Anyway, all this to say, if it doesn't clear up on its own it might be a food allergy. Also, you asked about pumps, I have the Avent hand pump and I really like it. The first couple of days when my milk came in I was really uncomfortable and worried about getting an infection as there was no way Skye was cleaning out each boob even though I only used one side per feed, so I pumped more than 36oz over two days and stuck it in the freezer, it only took me 5 minutes each side to get 8oz each time I pumped. It has this let-down cushion that massages the areola while the pump sucks at the same time, it really helps mimic a baby. Part of pumping is getting the hang of it by practice though, same as hand expressing, if you get good at it, you can express as much in the same amount of time with your hand than with a pump.

Hope everyone is surviving the tiredness and general recovery from birth. I'm grateful that so far Skye is sleeping well at night and feeding about twice, and one night this week she even slept from 11pm til 6am! I woke up a few times to check she was ok! I found one thing that has helped hugely (as I know some newborns get confused about day and night and decide to be awake in the middle of the night which is oh-so-unhelpful!) is to never turn lights on to feed or change her during the night. With changing, I use the light on my phone if its a pooey one just to be sure I've done a proper job, but with feeding I don't even do that as I find she'll eat, burp and fall straight back to sleep with no trouble that way. Also, someone mentioned they can't get their baby to settle in the cot as they wake up 10 minutes later screaming, I had this problem with my DS1 and the only thing that helped was to let him sleep in my bed. This time round, she is in my bed every night still and I have avoided worrying about her rolling/me rolling because my Mom sent me this awesome pregnancy pillow a few months ago, it is a big long one that you can use to rest your bump on at night. I have been using it curled up into a circle like a donut, with baby's bottom in the hole in the middle and head on the ring. This way she can sleep right next to me and smell and hear me without me worrying if she's going to be safe in the bed. She also sleeps on it on the sofa during the day, and I use it under my arm while feeding so I don't have to hold her up which wears out my arm. Anyway, I would say the best thing I ever did with my newborns is to keep them as close as possible.

Sorry for the mega post, hope everyone is doing well, glad to hear Einar is putting on some weight finally, Fen!

Babybean1 · 30/11/2010 06:33

Cardi Evie had quite a few red angry-ish looking spots come up at about 3 weeks which were only on her face. Asked the HV who said they were basically baby acne and very common to appear between 3 weeks bit usually disappear by 6 weeks. Fortunately Evie's seem to be gone more often than not now (she's 4 weeks today!) so looks like our poor little ones can look like spotty teenagers pretty early Grin

She's being a real star at the moment and am loving her soooo much!! The last 4 nights she's gone from 12ish to about 5.39 (6 this morn! - woo hoo!) and were able to do about a 45 minute turn around at this time before she's winded and back in her Moses basket! Long may it continue!! :)

Have been using a grow bag the past 4 days so whether this is what helps her sleep as she isn't getting cold (used to kick blankets off!!) I'm not sure. I put her in before feeding so when she's falling asleep, it's wind and bed with no disturbing of covers etc!

......oh she's just so scrummy!! Grin

Babybean1 · 30/11/2010 06:35

5.30 ish....not precisely 5.39!!!!

hmmSleep · 30/11/2010 12:50

Babybean1, I'm am most Envy at Evie's sleeping!

Feeling a bit of a failure on the sling front, bought a Tricot-Slen Sling, one of those long stretchy fabric things and just can't get the hang of it. Think it's because I'm always running late trying to do it in a rush, I end up in a right mummified tangle, swearing and throwing it across the room, then use pushchair instead Blush. I have now ordered the infant insert for my ergo carrier instead, nice easy buckles!

hmmSleep · 30/11/2010 12:52

Grin at 'about 5.39'.

Babybean1 · 30/11/2010 16:15

Sure i will be eating my words soon hmm and she'll have another growth spurt and throw me off course wanting to eat me every hour!! Grin

Havent tried a sling so not much use there im afraid. Grin at picturing a mummified tangle with a baby somewhere near by tho!!

Here isBaby Evie for anyone who wants a peak :)

Babybean1 · 30/11/2010 19:14

Hopefully here is Baby Evie as dont think last link worked!!

Vix7 · 30/11/2010 19:27

bean, evie is so cute!!!!

im quite hopeless at slings. was given a hotsling, dojo sling and i cant figure out how to use them at all. now i've got a ring sling and it seems slightly easier. the test will come when i actually use it for a longer period than the 2min i pop her in for! right now i cant figure out how one can possibly feed using the sling.

hmmSleep · 30/11/2010 19:27

Baby Evie for Babybean, she's gorgeous!!

hmmSleep · 30/11/2010 19:29

Glad I'm not the only one Vix7!

sarahbuff · 30/11/2010 20:39

hmmsleep I have a Hug-a-Bub which was given to me by a family member who didn't need it anymore. It is one of the long pieces of fabric ones, and I found it immensely helpful to watch a YouTube video of how to tie it. I've used it with all my babies, Skye really likes it (she had a feed and fell asleep in it today while I cooked lunch). Here's a link to a YouTube video for your sling...

The way it ties is pretty much identical to mine, it really is easy to get the hang of, once you've done it a few times. Hope you figure it out ok!

PrivetDancer · 01/12/2010 01:07

Hello! I am here with my 2 day old new DD :)
Feeding going ok i think, but v tender and toe curling when she latches on, hope this bit doesn't last long!

Hoping to get to bed soon but every time I think she is ready to go to bed she does a poo and then I feel the need to just quickly feed her again to settle her :)

bunnygirl80 · 01/12/2010 04:24

hmm I'm having the same sling related issues. Have got a Hug-a-Bub and just can't get the hang of tying it-I follow the DVD exactly, but whenever I put Will in it his head's in the wrong place so it has no support and just flops all over the place Hmm

I've also got an Ergo with infant insert which is so much easier and Will loves it in there, so that is seeing lots of use.

I think the Hug-a-Bub will be going on ebay before too long.

Took Will to get weighed yesterday and he's now 8lb 5oz, so he's gained over a pound in just 3 weeks Grin At least all the hours I'm spending feeding him are having an effect

OP posts:
Bassface · 01/12/2010 08:44

Hello, not posted anything since I had the sweep a couple of weeks ago but Isaac William arrived the day before I was due to be induced, 8lb 12.5oz. He's a week and 3 days now.

First week seemed great. Lots of visitors and I was in such a high. But the last few days have been horrible. I'm bursting into tears and really struggling to feel I'm doing the right thing. Been told to breastfeed on demand but how often is this supposed to be?

If he cries, I automatically go to feed him because I know it will settle him but we had our first journey out to the supermarket across the road a few days ago and when he started crying and I couldn't pick him up to feed him, I started crying.

God knows when I'll feel like leaving the flat again. I'm even tempted to stop breastfeeding because I know it'll be easier to get out and about with formular. But I'm not really having any problems with the latching etc so would feel very guilty stopping only for that reason.

The midwives came a lot that first week when everything was going well but now I'm struggling, i feel a bit abandoned. I've got an incredibly supportive husband and mum but I still can't get over the shock of how I went to hospital, had a baby, stayed one night then I was home.

I thought I was totally ready mentally for this but it all seems so scary.

sarahbuff · 01/12/2010 10:19

Sorry to hear you're having a hard week Bassface :( I know what you mean about getting out in the early days, my first fed every 30 minutes even when he was 6 weeks old. Keep in mind though, that if he cries, he might just want winding or a cuddle, and if he is really insistent, you can always sit in the cafe of the supermarket to feed. Feeding in public for the first time can be a little nerve-wracking for sure, but once you get the hang of feeding discreetly you can do it almost anywhere and people won't even know. I was feeding my DS2 on a bench in the middle of Cribbs Causeway Mall in Bristol one time and a lady came over all cooing over him and trying to see his face, when she finally realized I was feeding him she was all embarrassed! And when I took my DD out to Sainsbury's the other week she was only 3 days old and I fed her while standing in the queue at the tills. No one noticed. If you're worried people will notice, it will make it harder for you to feed in public, and keep in mind it might seem easier to formula feed in public but actually it is a huge pain because you have to have everything sterilised and made up before you go, keep it warm while you're out, and if it gets too cool you have to figure out somewhere to warm it up or if its been made up too long and not refrigerated you have to throw it out and start over! The great thing about breastfeeding is that it is always there and there is always more if your LO wants it. And when you've been out a few times you'll figure out some places you can go to feed it you need to. Starbucks/coffee shops are great, comfy chairs and you can treat yourself to a coffee at the same time. Supermarket cafes are great, everyone else is eating, why shouldn't your baby? Ikea is great, they have a private feeding area in the cafe usually... If you drive, you can always feed baby in the car before you get out...etc. I hope you have a better day today, don't forget that if you need to talk to someone, you can ring your midwife or health visitor and ask to have a visit just to talk about you, they are there for you too, not just for baby. x

sarahbuff · 01/12/2010 10:26

Oh also, do you have a sling? Lots of slings can be used for feeding in as well as just carrying baby, and this means you can feed while you do virtually anything! Might be worth looking into. And speaking of slings, to bunnygirl, I have the Hug-a-Bub too, the outer strap that comes over your shoulder and across baby's back can come right over baby's head to hold it against your chest (if baby's sleeping), or if you make sure both straps come just up to the top of baby's neck and cover both his shoulders, that should give him enough support for his head to not fall about... Have a look here:

umf · 01/12/2010 11:41

Hello Other Side. I'm here too - Rocky (nn) born Sat evening - but rather sleepless and confused so just a quick wave for now.

Bassface · 01/12/2010 12:00

Thanks so much sarahbuff. I guess I just need reassuring that I'm doing the right thing. Given the opportunity, I'd go and live in the birthing unit for a week! I don't think the cold weather is helping. It's making me extra nervous about taking Isaac out. I managed to get another hours sleep since my first post which has made me feel a bit better. It's always the middle of the night when I decide I can't breastfeed anymore and want to move to formula so I suppose a lot of my frustration etc is coming through tiredness. I only got chance to read this thread a few days ago. I know I don't post very often but it made me realise how much I'd missed you all and hearing about how you're getting on. Will make more of an effort to post rather than lurk cos I think that's really going to help me.

sarahbuff · 01/12/2010 12:10

:) Glad you got some more sleep. The middle of the night is always the time when everything seems worse and much scarier/impossible. I know what you mean about the cold weather, especially as it makes breastfeeding in public trickier, but again, a nice warm coffee shop makes an excellent place to feed! Assuming this is your first baby, are there any Mum and toddler groups near you? I bet it would really help, even if it is just once a week, to get out to one. The women there will have all been through what you are feeling and can be a vital support to you. Hope you are enjoying a nice warm cup of tea and some yummy biscuits, if not, go do it! Xmas Wink

hmmSleep · 01/12/2010 12:10

Hi and congratulations umf!

Bassface, sorry you're feeling so down. I went to the gp after I'd had ds as I felt the baby blues were lingering a bit and she was great, might be worth making an appointment? She didn't really do anything, just reassured me it was very normal to feel a bit low, big life change, exhausted, a bit isolated and hormonal, it's no wonder really!

As for the breastfeeding, I ventured into town last week, spent an hour feeding Lottie in the M&S Loo, then had to go collect ds from pre-school, felt like a most wasted trip. Then she still screamed her head off the whole way home with lots of old dears commenting 'oh she must be hungry', I felt like shouting 'I've just fed her for an F-ing hour, P-off!'. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to let them cry, just to get stuff done. Hope you feel better soon Smile.

Thanks for sling advice sarah, sadly I had already watched every youtube video going and I'm still hopeless. I get how to put it on, but it always feels either too tight or too loose, then when trying to adjust it I get all tangled! Wondering if the fact I'm a bit of a midget makes it harder. The insert for my ergo arrived though and I'm finding that great.

Just had to go collect Dd1 and Ds from school as it closed due to snow. Lottie in baby carrier other 2 on sledge, that was hard work!

sarahbuff · 01/12/2010 12:22

Ooh, missed your post Umf, sorry! Congratulations!! :) Hope you get some rest.

CardiCorgi · 01/12/2010 14:04

Congratulations Umf and Bassface on your new arrivals.
Feeding is going slightly better here, although it certainly hasn't come naturally.

Just a question. Where do you put the baby if it is asleep during the day? I keep thinking that I should be in the same room as her just in case she needs me. I keep worrying that I should be doing more with her (but what?). So far we eat and nap and when she is awake I put some music on which she seems to like.

Sarahbuff thanks, I'll keep an eye on what I'm eating. The spots do seem to be getting a bit better.

grinningbee I don't think she meant to be offensive, she can just be rather tactless but I'm a bit sensitive about my weight right now - I've always been fairly trim and spent a lot of time as a competative lightweight rower, so had to keep an eye on what I weighed. Of course now none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit and all tops have to be easy-access which isn't helping.