FEB 2010 Longer out than in and first Christmases around the corner...we're 9 months on.

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Shiny new thread, as promised fellow FEBers!

Figured we would start another new one to mark first birthdays, bethlou, so I've held fire on referencing that landmark in this thread title - hope that's okay with y'all!

Anyway, welcome everybody, pull up a comfy chair, someone get the wine out and I'll open a huge box of chocolates for us all to share.

Morning all, you've been busy.
I'll answer on comments later on.

Just one question: How do you make sure your LO is not gonig to pull the Christmas tree to the floor. My DS understands no but don't care!

GF Ahaha! The trick is first Xmas no tree!
Can't do that this year will have to think about something to stop her EATING the tree .
There was a thread on that, and most people said they put the tree out of reach (table....), hanging from the ceiling or in a play pen.
have a nice day all

Always had a real tree with real candles and never any problem (nor did my parents with four of us).... My friend's LO pulled the tree on top of himself last year. Mind you, he only did that once and then stayed well clear of it!!!
Like the idea of putting a tree in the playpen though .

Didn't get the job... as I guessed. I only found out when I sent them an email to say well, it's a no then I expect... (somewhat more polite words of course). for the money but for not having to go out to work from January... I am beginning to quite like being a SAHM but wish someone would pay me for it!

After around 5 hours sleep in the course of the night, going to bed around 21.00 feels very easy, MincePies...!

Last night my early night was kyboshed by DD doing two evening wakings - one at 10.00, the next at 11.00. DH tried to settle her for the first one, but although she quietened down, she started up again once he'd put her in the cot. I ended up feeding her both times. Thankfully, she then slept (more or less) until 05.30 after the second and went back down again after that until 06.45. She was very fidgety, though. Not sure why. She hadn't pooed during the day, so maybe was feeling a bit bunged up?

Right now, DH is doing the buggy nap in the driving rain, poor lamb. And the lift is broken (we're on the fourth floor) which isn't helping. We're dealing with it by leaving the buggy in the car boot and just carrying DD up and down the stairs. Not ideal, though.

Bad luck on the job, BG, although it sounds like it was meant to be. I know I'm always relieved when my boss' various offers of possible work for me come to nothing, even though the extra money would come in handy.

Xmas tree - we're going to have a tiny live conifer - as we did last year. It'll be so small, it can sit safely on a shelf, well out of DD's reach. She still isn't crawling, though. Having said that, she's now more confident about moving around on the floor (a few head-bumps put her off in the early days) and is clearly very keen to be more mobile than she is.

I put down some non-slip stuff with a thick blanket on top (we don't possess any rugs) to make life easier for her, but typically, she now either tries to pull up the non-slip stuff and eat it or gets herself onto the uncovered floor where she slides around in her tights.
Babies (and, indeed children I'm guessing!) do have so many ways of thwarting our plans, eh?!

IC That is great news about your friends. They've been through a lot and it's wonderful they have a baby now. It's very hard dealing with fertility issues, you try not to let them take over your life but they colour everything when you're unlucky.

LBH Hope you have some more anti-ds now and you've spoken to DH.

BG I'm glad for you that you don't have to start work so soon, but it is a shame about the money.

Bethylou Good luck with returning to work next month.

Mincepies Good news about your friend's little baby. Hope things continue to improve. I think you should send the card, yes.

Just got a load of old jars and lids on Freecycle to do heuristic play with, DH is going to collect them this afternoon and get some wooden curtain rings and bits of chain and plastic tubes from the DIY shop.

Hi all.

I am feeling a lot better today. Finally got out the house and withdrawral symtoms have calmed down a bit. The main thing that has helped is that I have found a childminder (we think we can afford) on our doorstep who is Ofsted registered and has been awarded outstanding, has more qaulifications than you could wish for and is available for only 3 days a week. Which is all we need. On the phone she sounds lovely. Fingers crossed my meeting with employer goes ok and then we are going to arrange to meet her. I am trying not to get my hopes up but it has made me feel relieved as she will probably do a much better job with DD than me!

Sorry I have not mentioned you all personally. Will do soon, when I get more than 5 mins. DD keeps on whacking the laptop...and pressing various buttons.

I am going to try and carry on with out anti deps...and sort myself out.

LBH you are brave to stop the meds. Hope it works! Are you going back part time?

Does anyone else talk to their LO as if they can understand and are quite rational beings? I pleaded with dd2 earlier to please not do a poo just at the minute I meant to leave the house to collect dd1 from pre school... She gave me a quizzical (sp?) look and carried on grunting...

Good for you, LBH! How are things with your DH?
I'm told CBT can be good for PND, but waiting lists are long-ish on the NHS (and I assume it's not cheap to go private) - but might be worth considering...

Sounds interesting, bc!

Poor DH got absolutely soaked taking DD for her nap this morning. I was luckier this afternoon as it was mostly dry.

I'm contemplating trying DD in the cot again for her naps, but I'm reluctant because on previous attempts, the length of time she's spent bawling has far exceeded the amount of time she's spent asleep. And goodness knows, I don't want to risk the impact on her overnight sleep, which is still far from perfect.

Funnily enough tonight she cried after I put her down at bedtime, which is unusual nowadays. I initially did PU/PD, but then put a Jellycat in the cot with her and just Ssh'd gently until she rolled over and went to sleep (which only took about 5 mins).
I'm not sure what's going on with the sleep, though. It could be the beginning of Part Two of the 9moSR (as we head towards Week 46 Corrected....)

Oh god, I'm becoming a Baby Sleep Bore!!!

X-posted BG....in answer to your question, yes - all the time! I don't think it has the slightest effect on her when I politely request that she please sleep through the night, or at least a good 6+ hour stretch before shouting for me....!

Thanks for the advices of the tree, I think I'm still going to put it up and strap it to the radiator pipes

DS still sleeps relatively well but from time to time whinges for a minute or so than falls back to sleep, however it is far much better than before.

BG bad luck with the job, hopefully it'll sort itself.

LBH good news on the childminder and on you feeling better.

bethy hope the meeting with your childminder went well (or is it later this week? I can't remember)

mincepies I also have no difficulties to go to bed early but for me it's probably because I get up early and that I'm shattered at the end of the day.

LBH you should talk to your GP about coming off the meds first. I speak from personal experience here... they usually suggest you come off gradually (although I don't know if this applies if you've been going cold turkey for a few days)

IC what a bugger the lift is broken and you have to go up and down the stairs with your DD. It sounds like a nightmare... my DD liked the picture of your DH in his floral rainwear.... she thought he looked great I really recommend persisting with the cot naps. My life has really improved knowing that I have at least an hour and a half to myself in the morning. It's worth going through the battle... I promise! I actually get things done (not painting though ).

BG I always talk to my DD like a person. I am convinced she gets it. I spend so much time with her on my own, and I ask her if she wants to do things. "I've run your bath, shall we go downstairs and play with your duckies"... God, I sound like a nutter!

Crap, I am feeling seriously down. Think I might have to go and speak to the doctor.

CC Anything in particular making you feel down?

Have a rant...I am here. :)

What's up CC?

LBH I echo Abs, have you spoken to your doc abut coming off anti-Ds? I know that when exDP came off them it took about 6 monts and he found it quite hard.

Aargh hate typing one-handed (am pumping). Will pop back later.

LBH I agree with AbsB about having a talk with your doctor first. I know you weren't on them for long but there can be some nasty side effects if you stop cold turkey. Also, with the return to work and everything you might need them for a while longer. There really is no problem in taking them for a few months to help you deal with a difficult time.

CC I am so sorry you are feeling bad. Is it the impending trip home and in-laws or shitty colleague?

As for us, I talk to DS as though he understands what I am saying too. I can't help it. I get a bit self conscious talking to him when we are out and within earshot of other people though so I tend to go quiet in those situations.

He hasn't been himself for a couple of days. He's been off his food and he is normally such a good eater. He's only accepting stage 1 fruity stuff and bread. Even his favourite things like mango and organix carrot stix are going on the floor. Nighttime sleep is bad although his naps haven't suffered and every single poo he does leaks. He's definitely got teething pain - I guess the other things are probably linked to teething but I read somewhere that it was an old wives tale about teething making them have loose stools/be under the weather. I do not know but I do know it is right to relax on the CC stuff when they are not well so he has been having night feeds, being brought in with us.

Aw, CC, sorry you're feeling down. I'm not surprised, though. Putting together new motherhood (with attendant sleep deprivation), emigration, a new job (with attendant arsehole colleague), ups and downs with DH and prospective stressful trip to the in-laws....well, it all adds up to more than anyone would want on their plate.

I know what you mean about teething being (often wrongly) blamed for almost everything, bc! It's possible your DS is coming down with a cold...? Whatever it is, I hope it clears up soon.

I'm feeling a bit knackered this evening. DH had his work Xmas do yesterday and got back at 04.30 (which is earlyish by Madrid standards!) so I let him have a decent lie-in. When he did surface after 11.00, he was pretty hungover and we had friends coming over for lunch. I didn't do more than my fair share, but I was definitely bustling about more than usual. He took DD out for her afternoon nap walk while I finished entertaining then did the clearing up, hung up the laundry etc. etc.
It made me realise how much he usually does!! I'm not complaining, but I hadn't realise how much I'd come to rely on those nice sit-downs I get when DH is busy doing the domestic stuff, bless him.

He's just bathing DD now so I can chill and mn.... ahh.....

Abs, believe me, it would be ace if DD would take a decent nap in her cot, but she rarely manages more than half an hour, and that's usually after a fair bit of protesting from her and stressing on my part. I think she can't resettle after her first sleep cycle, but the buggy motion lulls her and enables her to keep sleeping, whereas in the cot, she's wide awake and even a feed from me fails to get her back to sleep. So mostly, we can get an hour or so out of her in the buggy, which is much better for her.
And my bum and thighs are shrinking, even while I'm eating a big bar of chocolate pretty much every day, so it's definitely got its upside

I also speak to DS like if he was able to answer back but in French.

Today his temperature went up to 39.9C according to nursery when they called me to pick him up. So now it's 48h exclusion (it's a good thing that I still have 4 days of annual leave left). Went to the gp with him and it viral again like it was 2 weeks ago. He is better this evening but not as active as he normally is.

Good night all

Oh GF you poor thing using up all your annual leave because of nursery!

IC I didn't mean to sound insensitive about your napping situation... There are down sides to cot naps too you know... having to be at home during the day being the main one, and DD waking up when the doorbell rings, the man comes to read the metre or someone is trying to sell me something door to door because every time the door bell rings, the dogs go MAD!

CC I am also sorry you are feeling down, you have a lot to deal with as IC says... has anything in particular made you feel bad?

I am exhausted today. My dogs both barked in the night and DD and I both woke every hour for some reason or other. We were both cold , I felt like I'd been run over this morning, thank God for coffee!!!!

BC my DD is teething so badly at the moment, and seems more mummyish than usual so I tend to bring her in to bed with me as soon as she wakes up. Her cheeks are so red, and her fingers are crammed into her mouth, I really feel it's not worth having a battle when she's not feeling herself. That and the fact that she is like a hot water bottle!

Hello laydees!

Right DP is watching crappy action film and DD asleep and missed Corrie!

GF I have xmas tree concerns too...DP is xmas mad. I never used to bother with tree or decs before him (already songs on at weekend singing them to DD - arghh! Bah bloody humbug.) Xmas to me has always been hassle, divorced parents, and me and my brother do not get along for more than 60 seconds of being in the same room. He lives with my mum and rarely surfaces before 11am. He is 30 and not got a job. Gah - I could do a 10 page rant on him alone...so I will stop there. Anyway back to the tree..DD and DC (dear cat!!!) will pull it down between them. So DP can keep putting it back up till he gets pissed off with it and launches it himself out the room!

CC Thinking of you. Hope you are ok. You and the others are so good to me when I am down so come and offload soon.

IC Well we have more in common than just DD sleep habits!!! STAIRS!!! I am in a maisonette and have a 2ft square er,hallway(?!) straight upstairs. Poxy pram buggy lives in the boot of my car. Pain in bum when raining and DD is shouting because I have left here in chair to go and get it.

What is your DDs nap routine these days? I say this because everything you say rings a bell. Not that I am an expert but have found this works now...9.15am put her in cot and stroke her head to sleep after fighting her to stay still, (took practice!)

15 mins after lunch, we co sleep till 2.30pm (or she wakes after 1st sleep cycle at least in her cot) This way she has a much better sleep and if she wakes(this is happening less and less now..) next to me we snuggle up, maybe put dummy in and she goes back off.
Now we dont need 3rd nap (thank bloody god)
Sorry if I have said this before to you but maybe it may work? You must be shattered. I dont know how you keep your sanity. I am glad you have as you have reassured me enough times when I was losing the plot!

In a couple of weeks am going to try the cot again (I cant expect a childminder to co-sleep!!)

BC DD had a few off days like your DS. She lost weight about 3 weeks ago. On HVs advice I have been stuffing her since then. Let her try Haagen Dazs ice cream!! Hillarious, she loved it despite the fact it made her shudder but readily opened her mouth again!! She is also having 2 biscuits a day too. Hoping she is back up to the 25th centile now. Oh and loose poos and teething are TRUE. Either that or coincidence. DD does one evry nappy for a whole day and is ratty and chomping on table her hands like mad.

Right as for me..my period turned up yesterday, so looks as though I had PMT mixed in with the withdrawl symptoms. No wonder I felt like screaming the house down. (I did throw a plate too
I am feeling a lot better but still get cross easily. Poor mum got snapped at today. Will see GP next Tues.

BG I talk to DD all the time..get strange looks in Sainsburys. "DD Please stop sucking the trolley...come on let go" Hoping to work 3 days in office and 1 at home.

2nd tooth has appeared. I am getting better at giving her finger food now she bites. I let her have the rice cake with cheese spread on rather than breaking minute bits off. I wanted to do B-Led weaning but due to her size and BF issues I couldnt afford to. I think purees and spoon feeding got her used to just swallowing whatever was in her mouth hence so many panicky gags and her being violently sick. Oh and I have made more things for her too this week now my confidence has grown.

Abs, MincePies Thanks for advice.

Think I have written a novel sized post here.

Get well wishes to everyone (mummys feeling low and LO's feeling ill!). My two are a pretty sorry lot, too, esp dd2. She had quite a temperature this afternoon, was very tearful, totally refused dinner but accepted a few oz of milk and went to bed at 5.30. All the wanted to do was sleep today and I felt bad to have to wake her just before 3 to pick up dd1 from nursery. I'll keep checking on her (she cries every time she coughs - it seems to hurt a lot) and will probably have her checked over by the GP in the morning. Hate it when my two are ill - would happily take it off them and suffer myself!

oh dear? sorry so many aren't 100%, both us and DC's ? thinking of you all!

IC just a thought? with DD we gave up on cot naps and used the pushchair - either going out for a walk, or wheeling backwards and forwards indoors - used to take about 5 mins to drop off, and would then kip for 20 mins? worth a try maybe? With DS he happily goes in his cot and drops off himself with his cuddly monkey? haven't done anything differently (I don't think, anyway!!) all different i guess.

still bloody snowing on and off here and -18 last night? airing cupboard soaked through, boiler frozen up and leaking? am hoping pipes don't burst tonight - no heating in utility room which is already frozen on inside of windows? fingers crossed.. have decided to leave heating on overnight - DC's rooms are both down to 14 already with heating on!

am off to bed to keep warm (not what you think!! am fully clothed )

Bloody hell Stoof that sounds hell. (DP moaned last night DDs room felt cold despite thermometer on baby monitor saying 21 deg)

Leave heating on and snuggle up...hope you get c heating fixed.

Move to Kent...it's a toasty -1 tonight!

Hugs CC. As IC said you have a lot on your plate. Plus the expat thingy. There is a time where all is new and exciting but then it is like you hit a wall, usually around 2/4 months but can be later. Especially between US and UK as most people don't expect any difference of culture (which is completely wrong).
Also a lot of expats get really down around Xmas. I am swimming in them, actually most of them have already left for home and I try to avoid the rest, as their constant complaining will take me down. For some reason the german and the british complain all the time, the french and the spanish lives in their little recreated country .

Hopes everybody get well soon.
You have to let the heating on at night the cost of repairs will be much higher than the cost of heating. Actually I will send a mail to my tenants to make sure they don't freeze the house...

Stoof Nightmare! Hope you did leave the heating on - 14 is brrrr.

Mamaloco Hahah, interesting about the cultural differences in expats. Can't say it comes as any surprise.

DS still off food and every pooey nappy leaks. We rang the GP this morning, no appointments of course but the duty doc is going to call us back. I want to send off a stool sample just to rule out a bacterial infection - I have been feeling a bit gippy in my tum for the last couple of days too so maybe it isn't just teething.

Sleep has pretty much gone to pot but I can't expect him to sleep well when he's a bit ill, poor little guy. He is being very cuddly and clingy which is quite nice but he is very easy to set off crying, trying to feed him a little bit of plain food results in face of woe after a few spoonfuls. He's still interested in BFing so hopefully he's not wasting away or getting dehydrated. I got some dioralyte just in case.

I even dreamed about DS being ill and trying to get him to a doctor.

LBH Period. Argh. On top of everything else. No wonder you were feeling so crappy. I have let DS taste ice cream a couple of times. It is very funny - he screws his face up then tries to get more.

BG So sorry that DD2 is sick as well. I hope she's improved today or if not then you got to see the GP.