Fab Feb 2009: things that go bump and "mummy, mummy, MUMMY!!!" in the middle of the night

[dinkystinky]

New halloween inspired thread (in honour of this time of year) to talk about our little jekyll & hydes [hgrin]

Is anyone going to be taking their little ones trick or treating this year? We'll be at MIL's for Halloween and she's already told me she has both Danny and DS1 costumes -so it appears that decision has been made for us

I still have no idea what to get Luke for his birthday.........

If Danny is anything to go by SM, lego would go down a treat - the smaller the pieces the better

or a jigsaw - again, the smaller the pieces the better!

DH now off skiing fora 5 days so just me and the boys - off to farmers market and playground shortly. Have to tire the minxes out so they'll sleep tonight...

I think we're going to get A a balance bike. Trouble is he's suh a short arse that a lot of them are too big for him so am trawling the net now. A shop 40 mins from here has them for cheaper than anywhere else but they don't give measurements and their stock check isn't sure if they have any left

He's also (budget allowing) going to get a doll i think as he's obsessed with dd's.

Although dinky has a point about Lego.... it's great fun to trwo it all over the bedroom like confetti apparently

Lol SR
I started a thread and have been given some great ideas.
So far I'm thinking about this and this

we have a toy kitchen already (knackered but they still use it) and A got a cleaning set for christmas and loves it. Both great ideas, Luke will love either I'm sure

I found an Irish company selling balance bikes who claim they can get it here this week so will order it when I get the children's allowance on tuesday and keep my fingers crossed!

SummerRain - Danny loves his baby dolls from MIL so am sure A will adore a doll of his own. Am kicking myself as lots of DS1's toys are in storage and there is a toy pushchair DS1 got aged 2 he LOVED at this age which am sure Danny would love to - oh well only another 3 months or so to go till we can retrieve it (fingers crossed).

Those both look lovely SilveryMoon - L will be having J fighting to play with those too!

Birthday presents sorted.
My parents are getting him the henry cleaning trolley, plus paying money into his ctf account.
Jacob is giving him a tub of lego and we are getting him a cash register

Luke is going to be over the moon

We have the deluge of Fab Feb birthdays coming up on 2nd dont we?

Yep. Although a few were born in Jan, looks like it really kicked off on the 2nd

we have a birthday on the 2nd as well.
We are giving a Peppa wooden train and a trike on a pole from Early Learning centre - a bit of a bargain for £19.99!

DS1 got a bike for xmas and I thought we could take them out together when the weather warms up.

To change the subject entirely, have been having a bit of a nightmare recently as they plan to close Stan's nursery in Aug because of the cuts.

Since I'll be off work, it won't affect me as badly as it could, but I was hoping to use it for no3 (it's brilliant) and will no longer have that option.

We've all been campaigning furiously and if anyone is up for signing our online petition, I'd be very grateful indeed.

www.gopetition.com/petition/42353/signatures.html

your support would be very gratefully received as would any creative ideas for protests/stunts to raise awareness of our campaign.

Hi MsLucy - remembered that you and Stan (and Swampy and Swampster3) were in the 2nd Feb posse. So sorry to hear that they're closing Stan's nursery - is it a local council run one or a Surestart run one? Now the reason that Stan can holler Tory Scum becomes v apparent!

I take it that the local paper has run a story on the closure. Publicity stunts- well I guess a toddler waddle would be something that could raise publicity (and clearly illustrate all the littlies who are losing their nursery).

It's a Sure Start one run by Camden. It's lovely - Angus went there too, as did lots of his friends.

The council argues that there are lots of children's centres in the borough - which is true - but there are none in my patch, which is rubbish. The waiting lists for all of them are massive - if anything they should be opening rather than closing children's centres.

What makes this especially hard to take is that they also plan to close down all the after school clubs/holiday play schemes - I've been involved in fighting for these since before Xmas.

Never thought I'd become so "political" but these are tough times and we all have to fight to defend what we value.

Toddle/waddle a good idea; also keen to see if there is any legal challenge to the closures as they make it impossible for lots of mums to work. Any thoughts on how we could make a legal challenge?

thanks for signing the petition btw - and pass it on as we want to get as much support as we can.

hello all, sorry you'd dropped off my threads I'm on
Have tried to catch up and see a lot are having various problems with your little ones. Hope things improve soon.

dinky I have to say your post about D's speech has got me thinking about H's. I've been a little concerned the last few weeks by his lack of speech and am now a little bit more worried and do have to wonder if it could be due to his tongue tie. It was a very minor (apparently) tongue tie although a few people said that if he had been born in the UK it would have been snipped at birth.
I really can't think of any occasions where he says two (or more!) words together. He has been 'mummeeeeing and dadeeeeeeing' for ages but some words although we know what he is trying to say they are not correct if that makes sense? Like he can't say Grace (big sister) he says 'Brace' and often the first letter of a word is wrong. Am wondering whether I should try to get him seen by someone but no idea how or where to start that out here

SM sorry you are having such a hard time at work. I think I'd struggle to do that, how can you not tell off a naughty child? Of course you need to do it in a 'careful' way but how can you not tell them off when they are doing something naughty or dangerous? If you don't then surely they will think that behaviour is acceptable?
Your comment about 'spoilt prince' makes me think of a girl at H's playgroup. The staff all fuss over her like she is royalty and it is pissing everyone off. They actually call her 'princess ' and the other kids almost get pushed aside when she is around. Ok, so she has some allergies and they of course have to be more alert when she is there but I do have to wonder whether it is because her father is VERY senior out here and has been witnessed going into the nursery and shouting at the staff What makes it worse is that her mother is the lady I fell out with (spectacularly) before christmas and I'm pretty sure they are trying to cause problems for me. We had an issue last week with increasing H's mornings (from 2 to 3) and it was all agreed but then at the last minute one of the members of staff called andn said there was a mistake and he couldn't go on the agreed extra day. All sorted now but I'd heard that the mother had changed her daughter's days as didn't want her mixing with H and I'm pretty sure she was insisting he wasn't allowed to go when she was in Makes me so mad the control some people have here over our lives and will be so glad to return to the real world!

mslucy sorry to read about your nursery, that must be so upsetting for children and parents alike

Right, have to dash and get ready for a signing class in 45 mins. Need to get sorted for H's birthday/party next week and its all pretty manic at the moment. I'm starting (running) a counselling class which is 10 weeks and the first session is tonight and also a nearly new sale next Wednesday then H's party Friday. Not enough hours in day.
Hope everyone doing ok and happy birthday all the Fab Feb babies! x

PS meant to ask, WWYD?
99% certain our cleaner/houseboy (can I call him that on this thread without being hung drawn and quartered?) has been using our laptop. We have one we keep upstairs in the bedroom and a few days ago it was right under the middle of the bed (normally just tucked under) where I coudn't reach it. Did wonder if he had just pushed it further under when hoovering.
Anyway, the last week or so both laptops (upstairs and one in study downstairs) have been running slow and often just close down. This happened before a few years ago when DC1 and 2 were using dodgy (not pervy) websites - stupid teenager ones.

So, last night turned upstairs one on and it said last session had closed down (it hadn't on me) and so I went with the option to restore last session/tabs etc.
well, the first one that popped up was a rather shocking page from google images that I certainly hadn't googled!
DH innocent, he had been out all day and I'd used the laptop first thing yesterday. So, the way I look at it, SOMEONE was on it yesterday and googled rather 'saucy' pictures (bear in mind can be thrown in jail out here for pornography and a lot of websites are banned) - can't search virgin airlines website etc!

I'm certain it must be houseboy and feel quite 'dirty'. We have trusted him and in the last few months have paid him a lot of extra money to do things like babysit for G & H, something we'd never have allowed him to do before.
So wise ladies, what would you do (am trying to avoid him at the moment as so upset/angry etc)

mos Oh. Don't know what to say really or what I'd do.
I mean, I know you said you can be thrown in jail for pornography , but I think forget that detail for a minute. WWYD if it was over here?
Is the fact that he is looking at dirty pictures the issue or the fact he is using your stuff without permission?
Are they 'normal' dirty pics (ykwim)?
Maybe for now just make it perfectly clear that you are not prepared to have him use your personal things unles he seeks permission?
And you especially do notexpect people to break the law whilst in your employment and on your property.

Good luck

SM thanks for your (as ever for one so young!) wise words.

DH came home from work to talk to him whilst I nipped out for half an hour after signing classes. Of course, he totally denied it and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed with him lying about it than actually doing it.
It wasn't 'dirty dirty' stuff if that makes sense, just he had google imaged 'large breasts' and I had rather a shock when hundreds of pairs of massive tits jumped out at me! I think its the invasion of privacy that got me. We have done so much for him over the years and given him so much extra money that him doing that upset me and also the lying about it now.

Difficult situation as this is the 2nd time he has lied to us that I know of. I know it was him, there was no one else in the house (apart from Harrison and he is not clever enough to be googling images of large breasts although he is a boob man) - still trying to stop the b/f!

Have password protected the pc now but shouldn't have to
What worries me, is that I'm away for a week later this month back to the UK and we were relying on him to pick kids up from school and have them for a few hours each afternoon until DH gets home. Feel a bit 'weird' about him now (DH doesn't understand this) and really unsure what to do.

MsLucy - post a thread in Chat, AIBU (Am I being unreasonable to think that a fab well subscribed surestart children's centre in an area which doesnt have any other surestart centres around is probably not the right one to close?) if you feel up to it and in politics linking to your petition - might help raise the profile of the petition abit.

MoS - lovely to see you on. Try not to worry about H's speech too much - even if you were in the UK, they wouldnt try to do anything to help it until H was over 3 anyway. And mixing up sounds (b and g for eg) is a very common mistake for little kids and often corrects itself by 3.

dinky thanks for the words of encouragement ref H's speech. I guess the problem is we are always comparing them which doesn't help. Last weeks worry was he was too small. He is 11 kilos which seems very small and he is a real shortarse, still in 9 - 12 months trousers

I lost it with houseboy earlier. Think the pc thing was last straw, he has been underminding me for months now with G & H. Just little things like when I'm trying to give them breakfast or lunch he will try to take them off to 'help' him and ignores me when I say they have to sit and eat and a few other little things. Well he did two different things in the space of 10 minutes at lunchtime that I've asked him numerous times not to do so I took H out and got DH to phone him and tell him not to come in tomorrow.

silly thing is, if he'd admitted using pc and apologised I'd probably feel better but I HATE lying with a vengence!

I just don't think I want him around G & H anymore which is such a shame as they love him to bits but what with the trust now gone and him continuing to undermine me I think enough is enough.

oh dear mos - will reply to you all later as just rushing by now

mos.... I can competely see where you're coming from. I have a real problem with lying too, and undermining you with the kids is a complete no no. The sad fact is he should have considered his job when he chose to use your laptop for what is a criminal offence over there.... at the end of the day you can't view it as a relatively harmless incident as it would be here because the fact is you're not in a western country, you're in a country where what he did could have had very serious remifications for your husband if the laptop's browsing history had been seen by the wrong person (worst case scenario I know, but still a possibility).

Have fun relearning how to hoover though

Oh dear MoS - sorry its come to that! Will you still be able to go away next week without the houseboy not around?

Dinky / MOS I had the same speech concerns a couple of weeks ago as Lilian says lots of words but pronounces all her Ps and Bs as Ls, and her Ls as Ns! Then almost over night she started getting it right and now I miss the strange made up words she used to say! She does have a few odd words for things but I think that is just her asserting her personality....Milk is 'mulnch' and Iggle Piggle is 'lidlaw' for some reason She also calls herself 'Ninny'!

I friend of mine with twin boys reminded me that one twin hardly said a word until he was well over two years old, whilst the other chatted all day - she was very worried but now, as five year olds, both twins speech is fine....just shows how differently normal they both are.

MOS oh what a nightmare - I am with you on the lying aspect...if he had been honest about it then you could trust that he's learnt his lesson. What a stupid thing for him to do - especially as he is risking his job. Can you 'suspend' him for a week until you can get some perspective / see what other options you have?

mslucy sorry to hear about Stan's nursery

Littlesez impressed with the knitting - will you post a pic of the results? Lilian has only just grown into a hat I knitted for her which was supposed to be for age 3 to 6 months.....I think something went wrong somewhere with the sizing but at least she is wearing it now!

hey all, thanks for all your wise words. Just quickly popping in after my last signing class and before I nip out to my first counselling class tonight. Think I'm the one that needs it today!

dinky am hoping I can sort something out as I have to go back to the UK. Am hoping some friends can help out with the juggling and it will only be 4 afternoons that will need sorting.

mos I can understand you discomfort for your houseboy now after seeing the googled images, I really can but (and I'm not defending it) plenty of people look at rude pics, that itself doesn't mean he is not trustworthy to look after your children. As long as they are safe and are not exposed to inappropriate material then they should be ok.
I'm trying to think what I'd think if I found porn on my CM's computer. Part of me would think well, whatever floats your boat and I would assume it wasn't looked at when my children are around and that they would not be able to see it by accident, but then there is that niggling feeling.
maybe it's different what with my CM being female, i don't know.
I think the main thing is that in the country you are in, it is against the law, that I think is the issue that needs to be focused on, not what he likes to look at iyswim.
Don't know what to say re leaving the children in his care, that is purely your call.
Just reading through the latest posts, I really don't think you should be too hasty babe. I know you are upset and wound up about the lying, understandably, but please don't make any decisions whilst you feel this worked up.
Like you say, the children do adore him and he has always been reliable hasn't he?
With the undermining, only you know how much you can put up with, and I don't know the full ins and outs of that country but if you are living in a place where women aren't generally taken seriously, it might just be something you can handle with good grace and stand your ground.
Gosh, that sounds like I'm defending him, I'm really not, I'm just stating it how I see it (that's not to say I'd feel the same way if I was in your position)