September 2010 - we've met our little ones now!

[comixminx]

Or most of them at least - there are some late September ones still to come!

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've been on here because our internet's not working. I'l catch up soon but have to have a moan.

Orlaith had her 8 week check today and the bdoctor asked me about her sleep patterns. I said I'd had to bring bedtime forward because she gets grumpy early and her last feed is at about 9.30. Then she sleeps for about 4-5 hours, then 2-3 hours, then maybe another couple of hours. She told me that I was doing it all wrong and she needs to fit into my routine and DEFINITELY should be sleeping through the night. I felt really upset and I'm feeling upset again thinking about it.
Surely babies don't all sleep through at this age?!

Orlaith 9 weeks 3 days, 12lb 8oz

Hi all,

We've finally got our broadband sorted (been offline again from my last post until this morning) :) Hopefully it will be a bit more reliable from now on..

saoirse don't let what the dr said get to you - sounds like she's talking rubbish. Of course it would be great if Orlaith slept through, but she's only 9 weeks old ffs! Her sleeping pattern sounds quite like Louis' and I don't think either of us is particularly unusual. All we can really do when they are this small is make sure they are well feed and burped, warm and comfortable, and make night-time dark and boring, and then they will sleep for as long as is right for them. Trying to force it would just be horrible for both of you. I'm in a great mood today as Louis did a stretch from 2.30am until 6.30am last night :o

12+5

Saoirse I agree she is talking rubbish. I bet she hasn't got any kids.

Going to put Lucy's cot up this week as we had yet another night with her in our bed. She is now having a long nap in her pram, thankfully as we have ds off due to school closing for the day.

saoirse Wow how very unsupportive! I would have asked her which textbook she read that out of!

Well, after my inital triumph of 7 hours it has all gone to pot. Jacob is a fecking nightmare! 12.40am sat night and 1.40am last night. He slept for 8 hours and 6 hours respectively which sounds great but the lateness of him eventually going to sleep plus throw in Isobels asleep and awake times and you get one very tired mummy.
DP went out sat night as well, which i knew he was doing, but it was supposed to be just poker at a friends house, but then an hour to go, i was told he was going round town cos there wasn't enough people for poker. He stayed over at his friends house (we live too far for a taxi-£30+) and I had to go and get him in the morning. Very pissed off i can tell you. Told him i feel like leaving him. He asked why, and i said cos you would want to see the babies and i would get a break. All promises were made, that he would help more etc, but he still promptly fell asleep last night and left me to it again. I didn't pursue it, cos he wouldn't have looked after them properly, due to getting in at 4am and up at 11am, but i've told him, i'm going to go to bed with Isobel at 9/10pm in future and he can deal with Jacob and bring him to bed midnight. It's hard to strike a balance between me getting some time off and him getting some time off. He is working hard at the house every day. He takes Chloe to school and goes straight there, he picks her up and brings her home and then goes back to the house (9pm fri) and i know he needs time off too, but he's had nights out around sweden, gibraltor, scotland and portsmouth since the babies were born (admittedly this is while he is away with the ship) and it's hard not to get resentful when you're sat here night after night! I don't even particularly want a night out yet, i'd prefer the gym or a run. Going to go for one tonight before i go bonkers!!!
Sorry for the big rant and i've not looked back over it, so sorry for any grammatical errors or typos!

Oh dear sassy! Well, if he gets a clear demarkation of responsibilities at least that makes things more straightforward - hope it works better!

SkaterGrrl, my DP wants time to play his guitar or fiddle with photos and sometimes that's at inconvenient times, like when I want him to take over with Aphra. She does like being serenaded so sometimes the guitar-playing is compatible with baby-wrangling but not always! He also cooks the evening meal and does bath time, as with you guys, and he does all the nappy changes when hes around, but of course she depends on me for all her food still, and even once shes finished or is napping I don't always feel like I get to hand her over, if DP is fiddling with stuff. I feel a bit like he shouldn't necessarily expect to be able to have time to play guitar, but then what I like doing is reading, and I have plenty of time for that while she feeds...

I think maybe Aphra is just starting to teethe - she's been grumpy for the last evening and this morning, she's definitely chewing on my finger when I put it into her mouth rather than sucking, and she's been dribblier than usual which I've read is a sign. My brother's little girl started teething at three months so it would match that, although it's a bit on the early side generally.

Aphra 12 + 5

That's awful saoirse86! I second whoever said she probably doesn't have children! I know a couple of people who's babies slept through from day one and I know people who have 2 year olds who still aren't sleeping through. Babies are all so different, ds1 slept through from 14 weeks but he was HUGE and I think that really helps. Luke is going to bed between 5.30 and 7 at the moment, which is great as I get time with ds1 and dh but it means there is no way he is sleeping through anytime soon as it would be too long. When people talk about sleeping through they are often talking 11pm/12am until 5/6am which would be a nightmare for me personally as I never stay up that late!

So sorry about your oh's debs75 and sassy34264, I guess they all do things for us to complain about at times! It's very hard when you are at home and OH is at work as they need time off but having a baby or even worse 2 is 24hr job and you don't automatically get time off. DH always leaves things to me because I usually take over most things but I did have a flip out a few weeks ago and he realised I was struggling a bit and has been better, offering a lot but I usually say no- the offer is most important thing to me. Didn't you say your dp had 11 days off sassy34264? That is definately enough time off, even if he is doing things at the house to give you a few hours to yourself and sit up a couple of evenings with Jacob. Sounds like skatergrrrrl is having similar issues with dp?? It's just so easy for men to switch off and forget about the kids it seems

Oooooh yay im so glad everyone else is having a moan about their DP's sorry if that sounds insensitive i don't mean it to but i'm also having issues atm. In the last few weeks DP has had 2 (all day) xmas shopping trips on Saturdays. I usually really look forward to saturdays as i get to take Grace to my sisters so her and my mum can see her and i can have a brew while they entertain/fuss over her and DP usually cleans the house. These trips have really really annoyed me as nothing has got done in the house. He's also had 2 nights out and is going out on Saturday. i sometimes feel like his life has barely changed my mine is totally unrecognisable!

Grace is really making me pay for getting a good nights sleep today! She is very awake and very hard to entertain!!

Saoirse i wouldn@t even think about what the Dr said. It is impossible to make a baby of that age sleep through. We go to bed when Grace decides she wants too and thats the way it will be for some time i would imagine!!!

10+6

Had a better nights sleep last night, Maria-Ann slept from 11pm till 4.30am :)plus I my O/H sleep on the couch as he snores so load still tired but I guess it's just catching up on sleep after some really bad nights.

No snow here just really cold, hope we get some soon as I bought my daughter a sledge and she can't wait to go on it :)

Maria-Ann is sleeping peacefully in her pram and hasn't woke for her 2pm feed guess I will just wait till she wakes :)

9+6

plus my O/H slept on the couch

Can't believe your Dr Saoirse, that is a shocking thing to say. I'm lucky that Harlyn has slept from 12ish till 6:30/7 ish from day one (give or take a few off nights). He does cry and grizzle every couple of hours but doesn't actually wake up unless he has really bad wind. Unfortunately I don't sleep through as I'm up checking him at every snort and whimper so my sleep is always broken. And it really gets on my nerves that my DH says, "how can you be tired when he slept through". He never hears him when he stirs

I've also had arguments and issues with my DH about him not doing enough. It defo feels like his life hasn't changed as he still goes to the gym, to work, plays on his xbox, reads his book before bed (whilst I'm settling the little man to sleep). The worst thing is, I couldn't leave him to settle the bab as he uses a different strategy that isn't all that effective meaning Harlyn ends up screaming and screaming and i end up getting up and taking over anyway as i can't stand hearing him so upset. Maybe he does it on purpose so that I don't ask him to do it again??? He's great at bathing and changing though and cooking the occasional meal.

Harlyn had his first jabs today! He cried his little heart out. On the pus side, he weighed in at 12.9 which is great. Off to bed for a snuggle with him now (if he'll sleep?)

8 weeks + 3

I think my dh has changed 3 nappies in 11 weeks!!! The ones he has done he has looked very shocked when I asked! Also I bath Luke in the mornings, so he's only here at weekends but has only bathed him a couple of times but then passes him to me to dress, perhaps I should complain more often!

My dp's not done 1 and i have double the amount! He doesn't want to he says. I've not bothered cos i'm not bothered.........just let me fecking sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooooh I'm so jealous of those getting sleep. dd goes down without too much trouble about 7 but wakes for a feed at about 10pm, 1am, 3am then hourly till 7am - not always sure she needs feeding from 3 onwards but she certainly wno't settle until I've fed her a little. She also refuses to be put down to nap during the day! I'm absolutely hanging!!! Didn't realise how lucky i was when she slept 3/4 hourly in the early weeks. I would love her to have some sort of routine but either I'm totally misunderstanding her or I'm just going have to play the waiting game.

Phew... moan over - on a more positive note - I have had dd in a santa outfit today (just checking it fits of course :o )

Sassy You sound exhausted and your dp sounds as much use as a chocolate fireguard! Do you have any other help?? Dh also always manages to find something else to do. DIY, gardening, washing the car (not in this weather!), watching football! Anything but looking after the children! Although having said that he's in the middle of taking all the carpets up cos we're having new ones fitted tomorrow! I'm sat on my arse on here & have just told him to put the kettle on & he has!

Sassy and anyone else struggling to sleep skip this next bit! Sorry! I got a full 11.5 hours sleep lastnight. I went to bed at 8, dh did the dream feed & got up at 6am with him. It was the best nights sleep I've had since before I had ds1!!!!! Felt fantastic this morning. Knackered again now!!

zowina, arlo refuses to sleep in his Moses basket in daytime too, but will nap for hours in his bouncy chair. Has vibrations too which help. Have you tried something like that for day naps?

oh dear...

anyone want to borrow dp,
i have him well trained
he'll teach 'em a thing or two

he is a bit rubbish at waking up,and he does insist on smoking roll-ups but its a small price to pay,
he does everything else,housework,nappies,winding,and he's fantastic with dd.
i can lend him out one night a week...
any takers

oh,and arlo prefers to be out and about to sleep,or in a sling/on my chest! so you could try that?

We had a better night last night. I managed to move Lucy into her bed and she stayed there until the early hours, couldn't see the clock but it definitely felt like more then an hour. We are putting the cot up this week so will either have a breakthrough or even worse nights

We had a better night last night. I managed to move Lucy into her bed and she stayed there until the early hours, couldn't see the clock but it definitely felt like more then an hour. We are putting the cot up this week so will either have a breakthrough or even worse nights

bananstew Not really, everyone works full time and my mum, who used to come after work a couple of times a week, is now going to the house to paint instead, so i don't have to. It will be better when we get in this house. My plan to go to bed early with Isobel didn't work too well. Neither of them will take the bottle now, so went to bed at 9.30pm with Isobel, she was asleep in less than 10 mins (godbless isobel, she is the easiest baby in the world), i could hear Jacob crying downstairs and DP brought him up at 10.02pm! 32 mins. He just acts like he is hungry all the time, it's a cycle of feeding, burping, puking, puking, puking, puking and more puking and then he starts crying again cos he wants food. I turned him around on my chest the other night and he cried and cried until he fell asleep 1.40am and then slept for 6 hours, so don't think he is hungry.....i don't know. It was 1.10am (from 10.02pm) before he went to sleep for good. Came downstairs and DP was playing on his Ps3. It went something like:
Me; Oh what a fucking surprise
Him; I couldn't sleep, (he has toothache)
Me; Just fuck off, (then mumbling as i went up the stairs)quite literally cos you're no fucking use to me.
Sorry for the language.
He's had to go to Bath today to sort out his accomodation for his next draft. He's got a shore draft now for 2 years, which means they can't send him to sea for the next 2 years, so he will definately be home every weekend. I went back to bed after i had got DD ready for school, ignoring him, but he came in and kissed me goodbye. We've been together 8 years and he just isn't like this. Even my mum has noticed. He is a lovely person and really easy going and funny who never gets down or upset about stuff. When i was reaching breaking point with my last job, he just said leave, we'll manage on my wage, it's not worth this etc. I'm quite shocked at how he is behaving. I'm just counting down the days until we get in the house. I think/know it will be 100 times better. Plus MIL works near our new house on thurs and has offered to come every thurs to help out. Sounds like heaven. Sorry i sound like a right moaner and i'm so not. I have quite a jolly disposition really :o

Thanks for the tips! Managed to get an hour and half out of her this morning by putting her in our bed and attempting to sleep next to her (I got myself trapped in a such a silly, uncomfortable position though). Will have to brave the cold and try to get her to sleep in pram later.

sassay It is hard not having parents near by to help, mine are the other side of the country and dps are abroad, love DD to bits but wouldn't mind a little respite now and then with DP.

Sassy You really sound like you're having a bad time! I wish I was closer. Couldn't do much but could at least sit with the babies while you rest! Does your dp talk? My dh is rubbish at communicating but when I snapped the other day he finally opened up and admitted he was struggling too. Not siding with you're dp at all but he's under a lot of stress with the house & probably feels useless when it comes to looking after the babies and doesn't know what he can do cos whatever he does is wrong. Have you sat down with him and talked calmly or is it always arguments? I hope that doesn't come across wrong. Thats just what I found when I stopped expected dh to read my mind and spoke to him! At least you know it will improve.

Well I woke up today with a bug! luckily its not a really bad one but I feel rough & ds1 keeps saying "pay(play) me mummy!" Its really hard entertaining him when everytime I stand up I want to throw up & his entire play room in piled in the kitchen cos we're having the carpets done!

How much snow has everyone got? I'm going to get the ruler out soon!!!!!

Olly 13wks today!

Morning all! chelle why you not likey the snow? I LOVE it
Those with rubbish DHs/DPs do not read this bit:
I need to agree with clumsy and say that dh is absolutely brilliant. He definitely changed more nappies than me during his paternity leave and does most of the evening changes now too. He also insists on being in charge of bath times and it's gorgeous to see the 2 of them together. He strips off on top so he gets his "naaaaaaaaaked pick up" You have to sing this apparently.
He makes sure all the dishes are done before we go to bed and cooks dinner when he gets home. He is poo at hoovering though and can't keep the toilet clean to save his life but I allow him that for being so good at everything else.

We have about 3" of snow here! I really want to get out with Jack to get a picture of him in his first snow (cold is better so please don't think i'm an evil mother) but I have 13 orders from the weekend from notonthehighstreet so am trying to get them done any time I get.

cinnamon how does your lovely pooch like the snow? Any Elvis style shaking going on?

Jack 10 weeks +1 and longer than his 7 month old girlfriend across the street.

Awh thanks bananastew. But think you have enough on your own plate (as we all do). Yes, we talk. Said to him the other day, your supposed to keep talking when you have problems and we are but it's not changing anything! We will be ok. We've only got this far cos we talk. Well, i tell him what he's doing wrong and he changes accordingly! I could show him that and he'd just laugh. Like i said very laid back.....normally.

Awh beaditali your DH sounds lovely.
Loving the singing 'naked pick me up', very sweet.

Well it's dp's pay day today, so i'm about to get my own back and order some books off Amazon. :o It's the least he owes me!

Do you know what i have noticed, that i/we always/mostly post about problems or milestones. I never say anything about their personalities. So here goes;

Jacob smiles all the time. He smiles at you and at nothing. He also giggles. He is absolutely facinated with the tv (i shamefully put him in front of it, if i want to make tea or wash up. ) His cry is not like a babies cry and can grate on your last nerve. If he is really upset he frightens you to death cos he will be making the crying face but no sound will come out! He absolutely loves something, ie, a blanket going over his face. First time i noticed i went to pull it off him and said peek a boo and he jumped a mile- he had fallen asleep within seconds! I can't put a blanket over his head at night cos i'm frightened of him suffocating, so he has one of my (clean) socks over his eyes! :o

Isobel doesn't smile very often, but when she does it's goregous and massive. If you laugh at her smilling at you, she immediately goes into a frown!! Which just makes me laugh more. She has 10 times as many facial expressions as Jacob. (he just either smiles or screams!) She only really properly cries when she is really really hungry. She can sit in her car seat or bouncey chair or under the play gym for ages (30mins+) without a peep. No matter how far away from you, you put her in bed, i always wake up with her snuggled right upto me. (she moves, not me)

Hope you all post your little personalities. :)

Jacob has fell asleep while i was writing this, cos i put the blanket on the side of his face and Isobel is sat patiently besides me on the chair touching my arm. :o Bless um.