Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

WG - one of my oldest friends is a divorce bod who could probably help your friend. Only trouble is that he is a partner at a v. expensive law firm so it would not be cheap. Can you PM me? I'd be happy to help in passing on details.

No, 'tis on ITV. Sorry Veg.

I have a question and a(nother)! moan.

Can anyone tell me how long the bleeding is supposed to last after birth? Lochia, is it, or is that something else? Last time I think it lasted about four weeks. This time, after a few days it was all tailing off almost to nothing. Then yesterday it came quite heavy and red with clots again (so sorry, tmi I know). Should I worry?

The moan is that we are probably going to see In the Night Garden Live in Birmingham later this month as a treat for DD1 (and my Mum!). Not only is there no discount for children, but BABES IN ARMS are also charged full price. Isn't that shocking?

DP got in at 3.15am last night. I felt sorry for him. The very last thing he wanted to do was drive to Chiswick and back to play in a pub and leave me struggling. Right, must get a rare early night, I am shattered.

X-posted with you, Sybs. You poor old girl, I do hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you would be better at home tomorrow, if you possibly could...

Oh, and RUbes, if you are lurking, good luck tomorrow for the hozzie.

Oh, and WG - DP was saying if she wants to remove kids from the jurisdiction of the US when they are US citizens she would actually be better off with a US attorney, because the case law in such situations is massive/complex (never mind the divorce!). But I will do a bit of discreet asking around, as I am sure will Sybs, and let's see what we can come up with.

Kid stuff in Chelsea - no idea but here is a link to Kensington and Chelsea council, a sort of a good start...here

Lady I remember after a week or two my lochia started tapering to so little that I actually ventured outdoors in my nice undies & no pad... of course I had a big bleed and it was clotsville down there.

Sybs I hope your throat improves quel horreur with the not speaking.

And thanks for your kind words about work. Am just going to try to detach myself from it I think. And yes - half term I'm going to stay with my sister. Which should be lovely.

Wg I have a friend that lives in pimlico (one of my nct friends from dc1) who is v good on all in k&c and would be very sympathetic. She's on my fbook. We could put them in touch? Army musuem is really good free soft play place and good place for meeting other Mums. There are lots of monkey music etc. classes, nurseries, loads of stuff.

That is shocking about ITNG. Although not as shocking as nobility of going along in the first place. I'm afraid my tolerance for children's entertainment is very low. But in fairness it was when I was a child too. I used to always argue for being left in the car with my book. Am no help on the lochia I'm afraid weirdly didn't have much either time. If you're worried about it I'd call someone (your lovely consultant?).

Veggie your weekend sounds blissful. Right am going to watch some more 30 rock. You're all right (of course). Is brilliant.
Night all

A quick hello as I must sleep early.

So sorry to hear that so many of you are poorly. Sybs and Urbane I hope you both mend quickly. And Urbane, I hope you can get some space to think about your work/life balance and find a new way forward.

How are you feeling now Rubes? Better I hope.

LadyT - I think the bleeding can get worse if you overdo it. Mine tailed off and then came back whenever I pushed myself. Keep resting! And I wish I had known your DP was performing in my neck of the woods. Which pub was it?

WG - I can't help with any of your queries. Maybe try a post on the wider board about activities in Chelsea? I wonder how many young families live in that neck of the woods... it is soooo v expensive.

It sounds like you had a lovely weekend Vegster. Its amazing how quickly you and your DH have made friends over there.

Sadly the news on the offer we made is not good. They said no. Well actually they said "give us another four weeks and if we haven't had a higher offer you can have it then". But that doesn't work because to afford to buy that house I would have to keep working 40 hours a week and I have to let my work know if I am changing from my bid to go down to 30. Really I must let them know this week. Anyway, the more I think about it the more silly it is to sacrifice another day at home with the kids for a posh house. So the search goes on for a suitable home.

I hope Spot is doing better than I am with her negotiations.

Sleep well everyone.

WG what a complete wanker that guy is (sorry bit rude I know). Can she dob him into immigration or would she get in trouble too.

Sybs I'm sad to hear your not well lovely. Can I make you a virtual hot toddy. I love the way you speak about your LOs so glowing. They are lucky little ones to have you as a mum.

Sorry about the house Avo. Can you tell them waiting 4 weeks isn't an option? You sound a bit like you'd rather not have it now anyhoo.

We are not particularly adept at making fast friend networks. I met lots of lovely ladies through the ANzWc and have in turn adopted their friends and DH has slowly been garnering willing husbands for man dates at the pub.

Sorry to hear about your house, Avo, don't think we're getting much more luck here. According to mouseprice the most any house has ever gone for on the street we are looking on is the same as our offer that was rejected. (50 grand under asking price and they hadn't even done anything to it in the year they had it). So methinks they are trying it on. Estate agent will prob call today and ask about our final offer, need to decide with DP whether we go a bit above just to get it (as we do want it) or play hardball. Only thing is, I'm not speaking to DP after he was being an arse yesterday, but might have to break my silence to make a plan, then return him to Coventry.

Lady I was bleeding for about 6 weeks postpartum last time, but that was for a VB and I don't know if it's diff with a CS. Def worth asking consultant though. And I too am about ITNG prices, they are total villains. I used to work for BBC Worldwide but I guess a separate events company probably does the live stuff. Capitalising on young peoples' love for Iggle Piggle to such a mercenary extent is Not On.

Urbane, would def have a think about things whle you're away, but don't let that get in the way of a relax! Do you know of any good careers coaches you could go and see? I could recommend the one I've been doing some writing for but she's probably £££. Are you up for a total career change?

Hope you get a day in bed Sybs and can recuperate gently rather than pushing yourself to work.

Oh, and rubes, good luck at the hossie today . Did we agree on Thurs for a wee visit?

Hello, well sat afternoon and evening the pain in yummy got much worse - so much so that dh suspected an ulcer perhaps maybe too much pain killers for shoulder, however now we think it might have been a touch of gastro or something. I was nauseas as well and spent most of Sat afternoon in bed and couldn't even touch my fish and chips or wine with my xfactor / strictly evening! I'm feeling much better this morning so I'm sure it wasn't something too bad. DD is still sniffly, and has been going to bed at around 8pm and just taking one feed at around 3 or if I can get a feed down her at around 10 or 11 (hard as she's sleepy then) then she usually sleeps through which has been lovely, however with this cold that she has, she coughs a lot (dry cough) and vomits up her feeds

Lady, yes re those stalk marks, dd also has 2 of those - one on her eyelid, and on the back of her neck, however the eyelid one has almost gone already. the strawberry mark on her lip is slightly redder however it also looks like it's shrinking and / or her lip is growing and the strawberry mark isn't, therefore the doc says it has completed it's growing phase and will gradually shrink (so they say) but could take up until she's a few years old however they suspect it will be just months. your D's one looks just like dd's eyelid one. gald things are improving for you there. Agree with beans, it takes about 6 weeks (well in my case a couple of weeks after all visitors had left) to find routine and get sorted. dh was just asking last night how you were and he's keen to finish your bathroom he said ("as long as you don't mind hanging out with ladyT while he gets on with it" he said! (not at all!) so we'll sort out a day. I know he works this Sat but not sure abotu Sun

Avo sorry about the house but for whatever reason - not meant to be and something better might come up - or, if it IS meant to be you will get it in the end.

WG sorry about your friends situation. Gosh I feel for her. it will be a long long process. My db's TW left him AND 3 kids and pissed off to live in Switzerland, then changed her mind after 3 YEARS, came back and now he can't leave the damn town they both live in - but it's quite a mess as they didn't go through the courts but I wish her the very best and hope some of the lovely ladies in the know on here can help or point in the right direction. Makes sense to get the US lawyer on it though.

vaggie, I went and got a little toy I can pull out that ds hasn't seen before for today as well as some crayons and lollipops. Test ran the lollipop and he got really mad and hated it (well wouldn't even try) he doesn't care much for sweets though. but in better news, dh has managed to get out of one thing thismorning at work and just has to try and get around a occy health appointment and if so doesn't have to go in until after my appt, so that's the plan I hope.

Anyway, thanks for the good wishes. I'm dreading an injection but dreading having this pain much longer more.

Spot, I have nothing on for Thurs, are you sure you don't mind driving all this way?

OK must go - dd kicking off, gotta leave in an hour and dh still asleep!! I know I've missed stuff I wanted to say, but will be back later.

Pain in yummy? How funny - that is nearly as funny as Vaggie's "Tummy coctails" her friends made I was going to ask about!!!!! I wonder if that's why I wrote it!! pmsl

Haha Pubes I wonder if too many tummy cocktails would give me a pain in the yummy

Pubie I know you will probably faint for the injection but I do hope they give it, you are in so much pain. How long do they last. Does DH think its massive inflammation? If so maybe a big old injected, steroid would do the trick for good. Sometimes the original irritant is gone but the inflammation carries on.

I'm glad DH can come occ health will be fine he can just ditch it.

Poor DS2 was a bit clingy and grumpy last night and ended up sleeping next to me in bed rather than in.cotbed. just as I was settling to sleep he had a huge spew. It was the weirdest smelling spew. Got him cleaned up and he fell asleep almost instantly but the smell lingered so I had to have a wash myself. He was quite unsettled all night and his appetite is a bit low today so will keep an eye on him.

Hi Vaggie! Just back from the hospital now! Wow I'm so glad dh came with me. I was seen at a private hospital as the shoulder specialist does some NHS there and I got seen faster because of that - Not a chance in hell I could've taken the dc's! I had to go here, go there, have more xrays of different angles all pretty fast - I'd never been in a private hospital - lovely coffee and tea everywhere like a hotel! Both dc's kicked off big time and even dh was understanding that it would have been a nightmare - you know getting changed and all that for the x-rays.
Anyway, he says it's quite considerably bad inflammation of the rotator cuff and also something else is wrong which I can't remember what he called it but, says a steroid injection and lot's of Physio will hopefully fix it and doesn't think it will end up in surgery. One more injection at most he hopes, if at all. The injection hurt like absolute buggery but amazingly I didn't pass out thank God (almost) as I lay down straight after and was too focused on ds kicking off in the other room! Also dh knew the consultant as they had once worked together so their chatting distracted me! He says the injection will burn out the inflammation for about 3-4 weeks but I need to get onto the physio asap, and he also put a local in it to make it feel better quick although said it will hurt a lot tomorrow before it feels better. Feels pretty good now though. Until the physio is set up, dh is going to bring home some info tonight from his physio's for me to get started on.

In the dc's defense, dd was due a feed and was ok after that (which dh gave her) and it was bang on ds's normal nap time as he's been back needing naps right around 1130-12 ish only rarely waiting until 1pm or so, and when he was let out of the buggy he played with the toys happily, but still, if it was just me there with them, I could not have put him in and out of the buggy etc for the back and forth-ing for all the different rooms to be seen in iykwim, so I'm so grateful for dh coming and next time will make damn sure mil or someone is available and I can leave them all at home

Vag hope ds2 is feeling better.....

Oh and Vag - no it wasn't just Occ Health - His new boss (all of a week) had asked him to help with some private assisting, so I feel a bit bad, but I'll be more help to him now at home as he's been doing everything with the kiddies lately as well as working loads. I'm just hoping this one injection and physio does the trick.
Wow it's quiet on here - right this is 4 in a row - I'm out.

I'm here (just about) this is the first time I have stopped today and DP is asleep but I can't sleep in the day anyway, and I didn't do any of the night feeds (after 11) so I can't moan. Her current night routine is 11ish, 1ish, 4ish, 7ish for feeds and she has a lot more than DD1 ever did. I think I have got Digby, the Hungriest Baby in the World.

Rubes, I am soooo glad your DH could come. That is v good. And fingers crossed on the avoiding surgery too...Have you got good painkillers lined up for tomorrow just in case? We are totally around this week except Wednesday morning when we take DD1 to the NHS dietitian as I mentioned, and MIL is dropping by on Saturday DP is back at worth next Monday (nooooooo) but obviously I am here and could do anytime, it would just be a case of feeling confident enough to manage the two of 'em on the bus. By the way, does your DS like stickers? DD is sticker crazy and they are good if I need to keep her occupied for a bit. doesn't come back. Hey, that tummy pain was weird, I hope that doesn't come back. My chest pain has gone since I left off the Voltarol but I am concerned I still need an anti-inflammatory as I am still quite swollen, so might take Ibuprofen. I ought to speak to my consultant, still haven't called her about the lochia.

Avo, DP was playing at the George IV. He's played there before. I have no idea what it's like, it could be a total crack den. He plays in the couple of bands and he is slightly shamefaced about this one as he thinks they are like something off a cruise ship - a bunch of barristers the wrong side of 40 playing covers. They do weddings and stuff, so are available for hire should anyone in the South East need them I am not even being biased when I say that he is way too good for them, he is a fantastic bass player, but that was what he used to do for a job before he jacked it in and went into the law. He used to play in the orchestra for West End shows and stuff, but in the end it was a bit depressing and not v well paid. Anyway, total bugger about the house. I am such a fatalist, though. For some weird unknown reason, however lovely, it wasn't the house for you. It's out there, you will find it.

ITNG - it's not paying for DD1 that irks me (though no reduction for kiddies at all) but having to buy a ticket for DD2, who won't even be a month old, is a disgrace. But I don't want to deny DD1 her treat. They are shameless robdogs.

Yikes, Veggie, hope the vomming was an isolated incident. Right, must go...

lady - i understand about the ITNG thing - it is a disgrace, but i completely understand about not wanting to deny dd1. enjoy, if you can.

oh, and your dp's band sound hilarious. i'm sure they're great.

rubes - hope the shoulder gets sorted. glad you didn't faint.

sybil and urbane - i have messaged you both direct - have just discovered how to do that - flash!

vg - friend's th is a bit of a shit, but more a delusioned one than an intentional one, i think. i hope. i can't quite get myself worked up about him - i'm concentrating more on helping my friend get through this.

have just accepted a tiny teaching job for this term which will keep me occupied on tuesday mornings until december. tuesdays were going to be my "me" time, but an extra £50 will come in handy, i suppose.

Hi Lady!
I forgot - meant to say - the bleeding here went on for a good 3-4 weeks I'd say... and I had exactly the same - a couple of times it seemed like it was completely tailing off, then back fully the next day etc. it would come more if I went for a walk or something etc. so don't worry I think it's normal as I had the same both times.
And that ITNG thing terrible they are asking money for baby in arms! But I'm sure ss will love it! I should take ds to something like that. OMG dd is erupting! I can hear her bum from about 10 foot away!!

Right I could visit you without dh at any time really - just have to make sure either dh is riding to work or I drop him off and get back in time, but as for him, I will ask about his weekend stuff when he's home tonight. I know Sat's are out due to ds's swimming but certain Sundays could work? I will check tonight.

Right better change this shocking sounding nappy..... eek, I'm goin in...

ss? I meant dd to be fair it's the key next door isn't it.

Hello WG - nice little bit of pocket money there!

That nappy was a state.... poor dd she's still sniffly and stuffed up

Rubs I'm nervous about your pain tomorrow but really pleased you got through that injection. DS1 was a bit suspicious of lollipops too, in fact anyfood. He liked chocolate drops. I also think DS did well considering, my DS2 is really clingy at the moment, I don't know how he would handle me being needled and xrayed, generally pocked & prodded.

I'm boycotting ITNG whose with me!

You are right Veggie, I shouldn't go but I know that DD1 would love it so much. But shame on them. I should ring the paper and see if they want a piece on it.

Rubes, we went to the supermarket and DD1 was asking for Gary on the way home I can only think she meant you. Mind you this was after asking for chocolate buttons, toast and grapes so who knows. Well, we are deffo around on Sunday but if not, another time as it would be lovely to see you I am supposed to be popping to London on Friday night for the cricket dinner. I probably will do but I am not really up to it - my scar/incision hurt just going round the supermarket, though I have really scaled back the painkillers.

Have got a curry tonight - yum. The weight you lose after a baby that's just fluid is still coming off so I am still in denial about starting a diet (plus I am also telling myself my body needs food to mend

WG, that's good about the teaching job, I'd say. I need to find a little work too.

Oh no lady you must go I want to know what to get for all that money. In their defence sometimes venues make them allocate babes in arms to a seat for fire regulations. As it's a kids show imagine if even just a quarter of mums bought along a baby as well as their kids the place would be packed. Still it's very expensive.

WG well done on the job. Is it far to travel? I think I remember your last job being a bit of a hike.

Sybs how are to today love?

Urbane how was work?

Well no more spews from DS2 thankfully just still a bit tentative with food but still ate a lot in comparison to what DS1 did on a good day at this age. He is also picking up so many words every day and desperately trying to form sentences. Today he came into the kitchen excitedly and said "run AyAy, run AyAy". He had been running around the livingroom with AK and obviously wanted to tell me about it. Also my step father who we all call Pippy (his name is Phil which got shortened to pip hence Pippy) was sitting having a cup of tea with some biscuits & DS2 started gesiculating at tts biscuits. I said if he wanted one he had to ask Pippy. He looked straight at him & said "peepee, (insert veggiebaby gibberish), peese". But the vocab addition I'm most pleased with is when he comes up to me with arms wide open and says "mumeeeee, duddle". Oh I just have to pick him up & squeeze him.

Vaggie, your ds2 sounds so cute, especially with the duddle request I've been a bit down about ds as he seems so aggressive towards me most of the time, and when I ask him for a hug, 9 times out of 10 these days he'll scream "no" unless he's in a really good mood or if he's going to bed I'm sure it's related to his age and / or his way of dealing with dd's arrival as he's so sweet to her (except today I did see him trying to draw on her head with a pen )
he has got a cute new thing he's doing though. When I put him in his bed for a nap or bedtime, I always shut his door and he has the baby gate on it to. He always routinely gets out of bed, opens the door and yells out once or twice in protest, but then he shuts his door again and goes back to bed! it's great, as I used to have to go back up when I was sure he was asleep to close the door so he wasn't disturbed by TV or DD or us chatting! Not sure what that's all about - almost like he's making a statement "well if I must go to bed I'll shut the door to get some peace!" Works for us

Awww lady, how cute of your dd1 - even if she wasn't I'll still assume she was asking for me it's great that she's asking for food though! dh is still not home. he's on call, it's non-resident, but is busy and fast turning into a resident one I will def check with him about potential days lady, but I'm guessing he'll be shattered for Sunday as I know he has a day of work in London on Saturday again but I think it's the last for the month thankfully.

The shoulder is aching a little but I'm going to take a paracetemol soon and brace myself for tomorrow.

I thought dd was getting better but as soon as evening arrives she starts sniffling and coughing which makes her chuck her milk back up and she sounds awful and very congested. I have given her nasal spray and a touch of Calprofen and she seems to have settled for the past hour or so at least now. Hope she feels better tomorrow.