FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

Just come back from clinic. Rastus is 11 weeks and 14lb 9oz

Have assembled an outfit which is slightly Titsalina but I want a hefty payrise so needs must et al.

Rastus is doing BRILLIANTLY! It must be all that suffocation - you know, it's affecting his metabolism or something.

Btw - my logical & intelligent FESHes - what do you make of claims that over 20% of children are now "special educational needs". I am to the and don't understand how 20% of the population have a genuine disability... as opposed to being "dim".

Cunty that is a nice healthy weight. I must say he is looking super fab on the beer festival pics on t'other place.

Good luck tomorrow ski tits oot and riding jodhpurs should do the trick!

Ski I think poor teaching and poor parenting are being blamed rather than the fact that we do really have 20% of children with genuine special needs. To be fair there are some excellent teachers out there but some are dreadful and likewise are some parents!

Seriously - 20% of the population is "disabled"? I do not buy that figure. That is imo just impossible! Slow learners yes, a bit thick yes, in need of medication or 1-2-1 learning? No.

Can I butt in? Thanks! I was a primary teacher and I find this claim absolutely infuriating, as is the assertion that poor teaching is to blame. Kids spend 6 hours a day at school - if their home life and parenting and diet is crap, then these are the dominant forces. And as Ski said, it is no longer acceptable apparently for a kid to be not very clever or below average. When SATs came out the expectation was that the average child would attain the "expected level", it therefore being obvious that some children will be below average, like everything in life. Now these kids are being labelled as Special Needs? It's crazy! And yet the children with genuine special needs are being dumped into mainstream classes, their special classes and schools have all been shut down and they and the teacher and the rest of the class is expected to cope with them in this situation. And THIS, my friends, is the principle reason I left teaching. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Don't faff round the houses arie, tell us how you really feel...

skibum GOOD LUCK for tomorrow. Low cut top, loads of make up. Touch his knee when you make a particularly good point... you'll walk it!

Um yes . Perhaps I should have taken that to Education (Primary).

Blame Ski - she started it!

Oh and sorry Ski - good luck for tomorrow. Interviews are nerve wracking and horrid but you seem like a hard beyatch confident woman, and you'll be fine. Keep your tits IN though, is my advice.

Hello post-natal chix, here is my birth story.

I woke up on the Thursday morning contracting strongly. SkaterBoy decided not to go to work. We rang my doctor who told us to come in for a look and to bring our hospital bag. My lovely consultant Mr K examined me and said I was 2 cm dilated. He sent us to Regents Park to walk for a couple of hours to get things going. Unfortunately the contractions slowed right down and stopped so we were sent home to rest. We were really disappointed so he booked us in for an induction the following morning at 7am and told us to leave our hospital bag with him and he'd bring it along in the morning.

Going home was good advice as I bathed, rested and went to sleep in the afternoon. I woke up at 7pm on Thurs eve contracting really strongly. We had hired a TENS machine but of course it was in our hospital bag ? which we didn't have! At 9.30pm SkaterBoy called the hospital and they said we should come in.

On arrival we met the lovely midwife D who made my whole labour so positive. D said she finished her shift at 8am so she probably wouldn't get to see the baby but would stay with me until then. She offered me a bath. But when she examined me I was already 4cm dilated so she recommended I skip the bath and go straight to the epidural. The epidural was bliss and from thereon in I had no pain and almost started to enjoy myself.

My waters broke spontaneously in the delivery room and I had a good show. D suggested SkaterBoy go downstairs to our room to sleep for a couple of hours, then decided to examine me first and found I was already 8cm! She called reception and told them to get Mr K over ASAP.

Mr K arrived and it was fantastic to see him and know he was there. A couple of hours passed but it felt like minutes. (Remind me to find the man who invented the epidural and buy him a beer). Soon it was time to push. I couldn't really get the hang of pushing at first. I had been feeling so smug up until then as my uterus had worked so quickly and efficiently. D asked SkaterBoy to get a mirror out of my handbag and showed me the baby's head. Then she had me feel the baby's head with my finger while giving a few practice pushes so I could feel what kind of pushing got the baby moving down. This was really really helpful advice as now I knew what I was aiming for.

Rosalind was born at 4am on 3 September, just 9 hours after my contractions began the previous evening. SkaterBoy cut the cord and D took a photo of the 3 of us and gave me a top up of epidural as Mr K had to put a stitch in a minor tear.

It was an incredibly positive and empowering experience and not the horror show I was expecting!

skater what a fantastic story. It sounds like an utterly brilliant start to life with Rosalind.

Sounds fab Skates! I know what you mean regarding the epidural thing too - you know when you can feel that cold feeling going through your shoulder I could have kissed the anesthetist full on! Tell me, did you allow the epidural to wear off so you could feel the pushing and the crowning? It is also great that it was relatively quick! 9 hours for a first birth is pretty OK! Congratulations and I am sure Rosalind is still gorgeous!

skatrr Well done you! Sounds great! How is it going now?

cunty Clyde is being weighed tomorrow but I seriously doubt he'll better that - what a boy!

aries I blame the parents.

Good luck fanny

Aries Ski don't get me wrong I am with you, ridiculous suggestion. I was merely highlighting that it was t'media that was suggesting it was the teachers and parents to blame not that I thought this. I do believe some teachers are crap like some parents who do not care a less about their child?s education though but I don't believe 20% of our kids have special needs. When I was at school I could say about 20% of my age group were "thick", underperforming but generally nice people just like about 20% excelled and were very brainy - the rest fell somewhere in the middle hovering around the above average, average and below average mark. A couple of % may have had special needs and we had a special needs school within the grounds of our school. I guess what is being suggested now is that the lower 20% are not in fact "thick" but "special needs" - meh! Now it seems that most of the GSCE year group get about 13 As and A*s (whatever they are?) which seems a bit mad to me! Anyway, a bit of a long rant but I think we are all singing off the same songsheet?

Wow skater sounds great - I'm with you on the epidural - they should sell it in chemists for when you've had a bad day!

I'm just back from the gym - my first work out and proper class - I feel human again!

The worst thing is it damages the provision for those children who really do have SN.

cunty Hahaha! No need to worry, I'm sure.

hope it's not too late to say good luck for interview ski!

well done skates, that sounds like a good birth. Hope you are loving every minute with your wee girl.

Ye Gawds, that's a big lad cunty! no idea what Squeaks weighs. Should I be weighing her before next week's jabs?

shed loads of paperwork and a hosp appointment today. thrilling

Thank you curly, not too late at all as it's not until after lunch. I'm just trying to check a few details and do a bit more research - I've worked alongside this company for ~6 years but I'm terrified I'm going to get there, giggle like a girl and just offer to show him my baps. :( I used to be really good at interviews, then completely lost my confidence and I'm sure only got this job because we talked about horses during the interview... This job would come with a car - but mean a lot more time on the road - however a bit of international travel too. Swings & roundabouts I suppose.

Bear was just under 11 I think at his last weigh-in - I'd not expect him to be more than 12 lbs 8 oz or so at his next weigh in as the shooting growth seems to have stalled. But the smiles make up for all of it! :)

What's the hospital for? Is this for you?

Things are very quiet around here... is everyone too busy gazing in to baybee's eyes?

Eeep... have just heard the rumble of thunder and it is poonami time. He laughs his little head off as I stand there shrieking not knowing which bit of soup to go for.

I've also yanked an enormous bogey out of his nostril this morning with my fingers - motherhood is v glamorous!

I've taken to smearing a little Vicks on his sleeping bag straps in the middle of the night. Apparently this too might kill my baybee - but where do you buy these sealed bubbles for raising children?

Hello all!

Was lovely meeting cossie and her gorgeous boy yesterday! I can verify that she has a lovely house and piglet even got to try te posh baby bouncer

was also v lovely meeting casp Her bloke and squeaker last week.

I did get to cuddle both FESH baybees

my northern visit is being cut short now, so sadly I won't get to meet any other northern FESHes this time...

ski good luck for the interview!

And cossie I have just remembered that we swaddled piglet in the first couple of weeks in the Moses basket and it helped her, but she doesn't need it any more.

Piglet news is just that I still have a screamy baby, but a lovely one who is spending more and more time alert and smiling.

I want my baybeeee! I got all a bit excited yesterday after scan and dare I say I am actually looking forward to the birth! Is that a bit weird? I just know it results in a baybee at the end of it and I am starting to realise that I am going to have one! Fuck, had better go out and buy pads for nips and vag since the only thing I have bought so far is 2 new born sleep suits for hospial and a double pram off ebay.

Ski another tip is to but a wet damp cloth on the radiator (assuming rad is on) and that eases congestion. Baby Vicks is also fine non? I hear you can get those sealed bubbles on ebay - seller is kiki84

Pooh iggs :( But glad you had a good time.

"I woke up on the Thursday morning contracting strongly. SkaterBoy decided not to go to work" PMSL. Good man. Fab story skate and nice to hear a positive epidural one, too. Gorgeous name :)

aries I'm with you. I'm not convinced there's many crap teachers but I do feel they're not given the tools they need (like a big stick LOL). Course some teachers are better than others but IME it's the parents who do their worst - or best. 'Course I have experience with a child in primary so the other side of the coin to you as it were.

Just read "Being Born" by Sheila Kitzinger. Absolutely beautiful book, well worth getting as a keepsake for your baby. Made me cry .

we tried propping up basket and he did 3 hours in it yay! ta for tip

iggs you no here next week now? :( I can confirm piglet is a total cutie

ski okie's suggestion re cloth good - you can drop a couple of drops of olbas oil on it. You can get olbas oil for baybees but not sure what age you "can" use it.

okie I understand what you mean. I was excited too. Yes it can be traumatic but usually it's fine and sooo wonderfully amazingly fab at the end. Goes downhill from there for a bit IME ( ) but now, 2 1/2 months in, all is good.

Ooops he's just woken up and realised he's on his own. The world is about to end!

you'll be fine ski. Nought wrong with getting your tits out anyway! Hossie is for me - talking about der drucks.

iggy!!!! so great to see you, MrIggs and the beeeeeeyooootuful Piglet last week. Glad you got to see cossie too. Might have been a leetle bit soon if we had tried to doorstep her together just after she got back from hospital. You've met the most FESH babies. I realised as we drove off that I didn't even grab a Piglet cuddle - but my man did. No justice

yeay for the smiles and boo to the screams. Squeaker is now shouter. Whether happy or sad, she likes to yell at the top of her voice. And I swear she's developed a snorty laugh just like her mum.

Must get back to spreadsheet. Trying to calculate how few hours I can get away with doing on return to work (trying to fit around his shifts and not pay for/subject child to too many nursery hours).