March 2010 - Six months in - will they ever sleep?

[Arcadie]

Welcome to the latest thread for mums of babies born in March ( and a few in Feb and one in April!).

Come on in. Find out who'll be pg next and who's weaning onto what.

WARNING - self-absorbed/self-pitying post of the week coming up; also involves child bullying:

I have just yelled at DS2 so loudly that my throat still hurts .
He and DS1 are in bed without their teeth brushed and AFAIK without having had a pee, because they were so scared of Banshee Mummy .
In my defense, I had a very bad night last night, no sleep today inspite of kids at CM's until 6pm (guilty mummy emoticon) as Joe had another one of his unsettled days. I swear, the child has now been either on my arm/boob or crying for 6 months solid. Anyway, picked big boys up for the bickering/teasing/namecalling/hitting/kicking/whining/overreacting to begin. Stayed calm and collected for a looooooong time. Tried 'Siblings without rivalry' exercise: tell me 3 things you like about the other. We decided on 1 house rule: No Hurting, neither physically nor emotionally (well, I've already failed on that one, haven't I?). It all went on and on, and eventually I snapped. Total loss of control .

DS2 is my precious preemie baby who from the age of 10 months when he developed his cheeky smile has been totally and utterly unpunishable in that he just Does Not Give A Sh*t. Always laughs back in your face. Excellent at teasing which leads to DS1 (overreacts) lashing out and DS2 howling and complaining about his older brother.

I try so hard not to get involved, but obviously did not manage tonight. I scared DS3 as well who took me by the hand and led me away - maybe he was just worried he would be sent to bed as well and not get a story??

Joe has just had 1 hour BF + FF and is screaming in his cot. I am Not enjoying life at the mo' .

Will have a glass of wine and go back upstairs in a minute.

Skol!

Flip I have indeed been lurking, but very sporadically. I have dropped in about once a week to lurk. Thanks for the shout out. I'm still not right health-wise. I know that that is why I haven't been contributing to this thread - I get pretty upset about it, and so I just bury it away rather than discuss it. Sex is still painful 5 months on. And I have other weird symptoms - like air coming out from down below (urethra or vag, I don't know which). I mention both each time I got the GP. The best I got was a physio referral which I have now emerged out of the other end - a pointless exercise, but I saw it as a hoop to jump through for the GP.

I knew that when I first had the problem that this whole process would take ages. I just want to be fixed. Finally last week I went to the GP with my partner as moral support and she agreed to refer me to a gyn consultant. My appt is this Thursday thank God. Finally I might see someone who know what they are talking about - someone who has performed caesareans and knows what the problem could be.

Rant over. DS has two lower front teeth and sleeps 7-7 every night. I am extremely grateful for that. Extremely. Because I feel so washed out by the end of the day - but I guess I'm not alone there? I've started giving him purees: all wolfed down.

good to see you Shroomer and send sympathetic unMNetty hugs because can't do much else.

Hugs too to PD: I know how easy it is to end up like that. The Pocket Dictator winds me up so much sometimes. I don't know how you stayed s calm for so long with your boys.

Further hugs for Pixney, who also manages a large brood very well imho. I think you and PD are bonkers legends

Why is there no huggy icon anyway......and who mentioned the rolly-eye one? I'd like one of those: I've just spend an hour on a conference call with my family about the wedding in the States at the end of the month. That's an hour I won't get back: even long distance they do my head in......

Oh, and had my Mirena fitted today. Now eating chocolate with my feet up. 'Nuff said.

Oh pacific I'm so sorry life is really kicking you in the shins at the moment. Just remember you are NOT a bad mummy, everyone has a banshee moment now and again and, considering how much you've dealt with over the past 6 months I don't think anyone will blame you for cracking this time. Sending major hugs and peaceful vibes your way... Stay strong, lady. You're doing great.

And sending similar thoughts to valium too...sorry that the PND's got you just now.

Whether you like the phrase or not , it's true - this too SHALL pass - and we all often need to remember it!

PS melk actimel - love it

Pacific Hugs! You are a FANTASTIC mother!

Melk still laughing! Actimel

Valium hugs! Can I have some chocolate? :)

Pixie Glad your DD is back home

Shroomer sorry to hear you still not Ok. I hope you get better soon. 7-7!!?? that's fantastic!

Flip wow... Costa Vicentina is so lovely. The water is not as warm as the Algarve but it's not too bad! Enjoy

DS woke up 30 minutes again screaming. He was so windy - poor soul! He had some past with tomato and courgette for dinner. It was the fist time he had tomato...

Waves to everyone else.
getting ready to go to bed and work tomorrow...

x

just wanted to send hugs to all of you in need of them, x hope tomorrow is better all round,
x

not much time but....
PD omigod i so feel your pain and i only have two. If it helps..............DD1 decided to hit DD2 over the head with a soft toy this morning (DD2 was in my arms trying to feed). By this point I was so OVER IT ALL (little sleep last night) and had already successfully negotiated through several Toddler FlashPoints....that i obviously thought, oh Bugger it I can't do another...I promptly grabbed Said Soft Toy off my 2.5 yo and hit her back, over the head, with it.... and said "you SEEEEEEE?!!! it HURTS HER....so Stop. Doing. IT"
[Social services caveat: DD1 and i did in fact then spend about 5 minutes cuddling and talking about why hitting hurts + why Charlie and Lola did such+such yada yada]
but frankly, PD i get you and i think you are a saint. And if you ever fancy lending me DS3 for some hand holding i would be ever so grateful

shroomer well done you and so nice to see you and will be thinking of you on thurs

and valium really sorry PND rearing head again but I promise i'm keeping a little watch on you on fbk at least and you are, as ever, doing a great job...

right DH about to divorce me so am off To Bed. (to sleep). his other Tiredness Feat (apart from ActimelGate - is putting marinaded pork in oven....with clingfilm on..... - We. Are. Very. Tired. poor man)
night

Well, we are still ALL alive....

And big boys were almost spookily loverly this morning .

Maybe I need to yell more often but I hate it so; makes me feel rubbish and I do think looming over a much smaller child shouting at them is bullying. I am still ashamed of myself .

Thank you for the sympathy, all.

Melk, I think your DD and my DS3 would be a force to be reckoned with - be afraid, be v afraid....

I am off out, not sure where to, but cannot stand another day indoors with Joe, who had a good night (2 feeds only, no other wakenings). Whether that was due to Calpol, infant powder, 50mls of FF or being left to cry for 20min - I don't know. No new tooth this morning and not v interested in porridge .

Glad you had a better run of it this morning, PD. Your traumatic description would have fitted well with the woe sharing a friend and I were indulging in yesterday. We couldn't understand why a City lawyer and an army Major couldn't make a couple of toddlers do what was required of them....

Pacific and Melk, you are both excellent mummies because if you weren't you wouldn't feel bad about the rare occasions you don't do it the way you think is best. I'm with Melk on this one, 2 is bad enough. Actually 1 can be pretty taxing. I'm not admitting to any of the many times DD has driven me to the end of my tether but I've certainly shouted on a few occasions.

Sariska, if an Army major can't do it we have no hope!

Shroomer, I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time . Fingers crossed the gynie will help.

BMI, Alex is a bit better. He gets more sicky the more tired he is. And now he's weaning it smells so much worse, doesn't it? And it has bits of carrot in it...

Melk, I laughed so hard at the Actimel thing. At least you will have fantastic stomach flora for a couple of weeks!

De-lurking briefly cos the actimel story made me laugh and i thought i would share - good friend sent her DH out to buy milk a few days after their DD was born. He came back with....a leather jacket and a clock radio.
Shroomer sorry to hear things aren't great. I think I know what you mean about the air though . Everything does feel rather...gaping (sorry TMI), even 5 months later. I have my head in the sand utterly and totally. Hoping everything will magically get better on its own. La la la la I can't hear you.

Waves to everyone, fabulous mummies one and all.

Afternoon here. Quick post while DD naps next to me and (hopefully!) DS naps in a different room with MIL.

This morning I got an unexpected parcel from America, from the mother of the girl who was my oldest and one of my closest friends. My friend died 12 years ago very suddenly and the shock and grief was hard to bear - particularly for her parents, of course.

We gave our daughter my friend's name as her middle name. It meant a lot to me to do so and, of course, I wrote to tell my friend's parents. Now her mother has sent me a silver brooch that she had commissioned and made when her daughter was born. It looks abstract in shape at first glance but a closer look makes clear that the brooch spells out my friend's (and now my daughter's) name. I am so touched. I shall treasure it.

Not sure why I wrote that. Just wanted to share, I guess.

Afternoon here. Eh? I think I meant afternoon all. Obviously I need a nap too.

Sariska That is very sweet of her. But I'm sure she was also very touched with you!

Bad day over here: work + period + bad night(DS rolls over his tummy while sleeping and then wakes up screaming because he can't turn the other way around) = very tired!

x

OK, v brief window while DH bathes (a very messy) DS - the spinach/tuna potato cakes were a big (squishy) hit for dinner.

Sariska what a gorgeous post. Made me quite emotional, at what a wonderful way to honour your friend and what an honour it is for your DD to have her brooch.

Melk actimel had me (almost literally) PSML

Shroomer so sorry to hear you're still suffering...was the gynae app today? How was it? I understand the need to keep it to yourself but do feel free to post away here, if it would help you in anyway.

OK, off to get nappies on and DS off to sleep. He was the incredible napping baby today (one nap of 1 hour 15 mins and another nap of 2 hours instead of his usual 3 naps of 45 mins each - was so am expecting to be back to business as usual tomorrow...).

Flip Super impressed at spinach/ tuna potato cakes. Do you just put them in front of him and let him stick them in his mouth? Never tried BLW so really interested to hear about it. How finely do you have to chop/grate etc the stuff you make the cakes with?

Melk I also VERY liked the actimel story. Who knows what you'd have got if you'd asked for Cow and gate

PD Wie gehts dein Vater? Hope sleep abounding chez Dogwood.

Hi arcadie [waves] - hope you're back from your holidays (and still sane ). For the spinach potato cakes I just plonked them down in front of him and he picked them up and put them to his mouth - some went in, some went down his chin (he had a green beard), some was dropped down the highchair (our highchair has a handy foot ledge that makes picking up dropped food and putting it back in front of him v easy). It was his first hot food (we only started BLW on sat). The mash was made of new potatoes, so had the skin on (as that's how I like it and since it was my dinner too I thought I'd go with my usual way!), the tuna was from a tin (in spring water rather than brine) and the spinach was v finely chopped in the food processor. So lots of mushy stuff but it appeared solid because I fried it iykwim. He's managing a tea spoon relatively well so I'm planning on offering natural yogurt with pureed fruit (probably plum and maybe some berries - whatever needs using up quickly) for breakfast tomorrow. That should be messy but am hoping it's a hit, as it would be an easy breakfast or lunch for when we're on holidays...I had a look at some kiddie yogurts today but they seem so sugary that I'm going to avoid them for as long as I can be bothered.

Am totally knackered so off to bed for me. Night night ladies.

Just quickly flip yoghurt is sooo much fun! Ds ended up with yoghurt eyebrows! And I can recommend yeo valley organic kids yoghurts no rubbish just whole milk and fruit, they are yummy. Find them next to that petit filou business (apologises to any fans of said fromage frais) oh and well done for progressing to proper food so quickly, haven't really given my ds any meals yet, just pieces of veg/pasta/fruit/bread and spreads. You have inspired me to be more adventurous this week.

Waves to everyone else gotta go ds whinging!

Morning all!

Pixie How is your DD?

Sariska I actually shed a little tear when I read your post. How sweet. I can imagine how hard but at the same time rewarding it must have been for her parents to give you the brooch.

Ang How is DS's eczema? I stopped weaning my DS on solids as it was getting so bad, but it never improved. So I took him to the gp on wednesday and he prescribed me a really good moisturiser. It has worked wonders already.

Pacific How are things?

Evitas I love your blog. Gives me a chance to learn some Portuguese. Your DS is scrumptious.

Food It's amazing how the advice on what babies can have at which age differs so much between countries. In Belgium the advice is to avoid any dairy products (including yogurts, cheeses, etc.) until the age of 1. I am not too sure why though. My guess is to avoid allergies. Any ideas? Because of the eczema, I want to make sure I don't give DS anything he could react to.

Lots of things happening in the dizzi house. DH is off on his stag do (more than a year late) in Scotland. Two of his friends' wives were due to come to ours so we could keep each other company, but they forgot to get ID cards for the kids, so they couldn't travel. So rather than face 4 days and nights alone with a teething baby and a toddler in her first week at school, I asked my mum to come to the rescue. I love my mum!!

I also spoke to my boss this week. I have actually never met him because he was hired whilst I was on maternity leave. He has asked me to send him my updated CV so that he can see if he can match my skills to any work that is ongoing. Surely there is something not right about that.. I hate the job though so it might be a good thing.

DS is crawling towards danger so I must go rescue him.

I'm lurking. DD crying. Will post later.

Sariska that is so lovely

Dizzi DS's eczema getting worse, now spread to his torso, trying lots of things that people have recommended, but taking to GP next week to see if there is something prescription. Glad your DS is improving, what was name of cream?
also, not sure that your boss has the right idea about maternity leave, not an expert but that sounds very like re-applying for your job. Perhaps you could suggest arranging a keeping in touch day or return to work chat??

Melk loved the actimel story

Pacific hope all still lovely with your DC's

Strange feeding habits with my DS. We are doing BLW so actual food consumption minimal. We had introduced a bottle for the mid morning feed with a view to gradually dropping the breast feeding. He was taking formula fine, but over the last week has been taking less and less at this feed. Yesterday and today he refused the bottle completely. I stood firm and did not give him boob, and he lasted until his next normal feed time!!! What is going on, surely he must need the milk? I am feeling terrible about leaving him to go hungry but I have to stop BF or I am going to go insane, and he actually does not seem that hungry. He is only having 4 feeds a day as it is and is still sleeping through...

Dizzi Do tell on the eczema cream - DS1 has it really badly and even Epaderm isn't making it much better.

sleep We've gone back to square one here. Waking earlier and earlier and earlier. 3:30 was the time morning started here. He snoozed again at about 5:30 but I had ony just dozed off before DH's alarm at 6:45 got me up.

DH and Snip-gate After 4 hospital appointments, umpteen doctors appointment 4 or 5 ( I lost count) courses of anti-biotics and an entertaining ambulance trip to A&E DH has had a scan on his spuds. The consultant is fairly sure it's an abcess but can't rule out testicular cancer. So DH is going back in a fortnight for another scan. And will almost certainly have to have his "lefticle" (as he proudly calls it) removed. He's fairly chipper about it all and would rather have it off than go through the pain again. But eeeeeek for another operation for him. Poor lamb.

Hello, does anyone remember me?! I have been lurking occasionally but mostly just sooo busy that even MN has to be limited...

Dizzi - did I read that your DS is crawling already?? Do we have any other movers? My DS can sit well and stand holding on to hands, and even take some pretend steps but he is nowhere near crawling - possibly because he's so chubby he can?t lift his own body weight....

arcadie - eek sorry to hear about your DH. Only read the latest instalment but hope all goes well

flip and ang - wow at your BLW - sounds like it's going brilliantly and your tuna and potato cakes sound lovely, flip - might make some for myself tomorrow, never mind DS! My DS hasn?t taken to food at all so maybe I will do a bit more of what you're doing as I am sick of offering him my lovingly pureed roast vegetables etc which then go straight into the bin...

sariska ? that is so lovely you named your DD after your friend. Her mum most have been so touched

Melk ? love the actimel story too!

Is anyone back at work? I went back this week and it's lovely being back but DS2 has been starving himself all morning until I get back . Today he went from 6am-1pm without any milk/food He's also started feeding a lot at night, to make up for what he's losing I suppose. He?s also really tearful with the nanny and he is usually so happy. When I get back he?s is always crying, I feed him and he is immediately back to his lovely smiley self. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice much appreciated as I?m feeling really guilty about it.