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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

September 09 - Hello world, we're here to destroy you!

927 replies

ChutesTooNarrow · 23/08/2010 17:22

So the last thread could be used as proof that September 09 (and an August!) parents were kept far too busy by their babies to talk about them very often! Shall we see if we can get this one done before second birthdays (eek, 2 is so big) are upon us?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BerryLellow · 18/02/2011 19:11

Thankyou subsequent crapbarry :o

I'm worn out, but have had a lovely day.

Madok still not sleeping well, and J still bedwetting.... ah well, what can you do?

Fingers crossed maybe getting a mortgage agreed next week. I feel very grown up today!

I need to come back on here and talk properly, I've been neglecting this thread now we have fb.

Well done Chutes, I fear toddler groups slightly and haven't got around to taking my monster child yet. He'd probably love it though.

crapbarry · 22/02/2011 09:43

happy birthday chutes!!

Original poster

ChutesTooNarrow · 22/02/2011 13:46

I can't believe I am 32. In my head I am still a 19 year old student who is cool and thin and exciting. Slightly gutted the reality is actually an overweight mother with unbrushed hair who is contemplating washing the sofa covers this afternoon.

Gabe spent an hour this morning screaming for no reason that I could ascertain. He was really howling and then suddenly stopped. He seems fine, I don't think it is his teeth or illness. Am letting him watch a few episodes of Peppa sodding Pig so I can have a sit down for five mins (it's my age, I need more rest now).

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crapbarry · 22/02/2011 14:17

ah, I was never thin or cool. or particularly exciting. So for me, 29 is an improvement on 19. At least I have a source of income and a non-raping partner. An occasional night of sleep wouldn't go amiss though.

I've no idea what Oli is doing at the moment, but should be going to pick him up in 15 minutes, so will find out then. I imagine he's been running around shrieking, if his behaviour at home is anything to go by.

can I just ask, what does everyone find an effective way of disciplining a toddler? We tend to do the 'removal from scene' technique, where we warn him once, then bodily move him into another room. It normally ends in screaming. We tried just saying "Oli, no." firmly, but he has started saying "Oli, no" and giggling manically, then carrying on regardless. Counting to 3 is also useless, because he joins in, cackling. Any ideas?

LJ29 · 22/02/2011 14:20

I'm afraid I have to confess to tapping Harry's fingers! Especially as he seems to have developed a penchant for biting anyone who doesn't give him what he wants!

Original poster

ChutesTooNarrow · 22/02/2011 14:34

I have no idea. Gabe absolutely ignores me when I say no. He knows he shouldn't be bashing the telly or whatever as he won't look me in the eye when I try to tell him no. He pays more attention if I go 'uh uh uh' so am trying that at the moment along with furious head waggling. It is the lobbing stuff over the stair gate that is driving me insane atm. I try to distract but whatever I distract him with usually ends up flung down the stairs after a minute. The only real solution I have at the moment is to make sure that anything he can destroy is out of reach so have a barricade around the telly most days!

Thankfully his biting phase has passed as that was awful.

OP posts:

LobsterAndMonkey · 22/02/2011 15:10

TBH cb, I don't think you can discipline them yet, they had zero understanding of 'naughty' (though plenty of understanding of what gets a reaction!) and zero impulse control. I think you just have to start as you mean to go on. I do the same thing FWIW, and dd giggles and does it again too. I also try not to react whilst saying 'no' and move her away, without a smile or a frown, and when she picks up a new toy or whatever I engage her with it and do lots of smiling/nice mummy noises, so she plays with it rather than chucking it at my face.

If nothing distracts I totally change the situation, move rooms, go out or something. I also find going to the other side of the room and doing something noisy and interesting (banging blocks, reading myself a story outloud) works as the pair of them come to investigate what is going on and often get involved. It's hard work but it saves us all getting cross.

I find it hardest when I'm trying to cook or clean and don't have time to fanny around being a glowing serene mother. I tend to ignore whinging and crying, limit the destruction they can cause (close doors etc) and let them get on with it. Or put the telly on. It's not for long and needs must!

Distraction and consistency are key IMO. Keep up the good work and it will pay off in 17 years time when they leave home when he understands that certain behaviours have certain consequences, so he doesn't bother as often anymore

BerryLellow · 22/02/2011 20:00

I forgot you changed your name lobster, I was sitting there thinking who the feck is that?! :o

LobsterAndMonkey · 22/02/2011 23:28

:D It's only temporary, its a bit crap!

Lazyem · 23/02/2011 15:56

I agree with what LAM said. I tend to act bored of whatever it is that they are doing wrong, then disarm and distract! At this age they don't know what they are doing is wrong. Kids are very egocentric at this age. But it works eventually and DD now knows when she is in the wrong and I only have to say 3..., 2... and she stops whatever it is!

Half term fun is being prevented due to awful weather. So far we have only managed a trip to my Mum's and then a trip to the Bear Factory as DD has been dry in the night for most of this week and a few days last week and so I had promised that if she got 10 ticks on her chart she could get a new dress for Belinda (her favourite bear)! We are now trying for 2 weeks straight...

crapbarry · 24/02/2011 11:34

acting bored sadly doesn't seem to stop him - I've tapped him on the fingers when he's been REALLY naughty (getting into the circuit breakers and turning the house off is his latest discovery. I can't wait to own a place where we can hide the bloody panel from him and not have it at toddler height!!)

I'll stick to the distraction/removal technique for now I think - it suits us, and I guess he'll learn eventually to either behave or work round us!

his latest tantrumming is hilarious though - he comes over to us, taps us on the arm, then once we are watching, he sits down, flings himself backwards, and starts screaming. This is often because he hasn't checked what he's flinging himself onto, and it's normally one of his pointier toys :o he'll then get up, move somewhere else to fling himself over, and repeat the process. Yesterday he managed to fling himself onto a toy car, a xylophone, and the back leg of his highchair. Such a little idiot!

well done to your DD ladyem! have fun at the bear factory...

peachygirl · 24/02/2011 20:46

Hi everyone
Dicipline wise I do the distraction but I also do the moving her away from whatever she is doing with a loud NO.
With DD1 I have started using a 3 strikes strategy, (suggested in the Times) when she doesn't listen. If I have to ask her to do something or stop something more than three times she loses something - ususally watching the TV. I give her warnings, 'I'm asking once' or I'm asking 1 time' etc and it has been quite sucessful.

Things here pottering on quite well. Half term is nearly over and I still have to do my planning..

Lazyem · 24/02/2011 22:24

Did you get your essay done, Peachy?

peachygirl · 25/02/2011 17:40

Yes ladyem I got lots of it done. It won't get sent off til march so I can come back to it in acouple of weeks - When Dh can access the online journals for me.

Hope evryone is well.

crapbarry · 01/03/2011 13:17

ooh, it's quiet on here!

I feel the need to post some daffodils:

Lazyem · 01/03/2011 15:58

Oooooh, didn't know about the daffodils!!

crapbarry · 02/03/2011 13:10

they're very cute!

I'm so tired today. bloody child was up and wriggling all night long. Can't wait to see the GP on friday and demand a referral to an ENT specialist, hopefully that will start the process of preventing these horrid ear infections. The childminder and nursery (and tbh, us) have noticed his hearing is worse than it used to be, and significantly worse than his peers :( poor thing. We're all debating how much of it is toddler bloody-mindedness though :o No excuse for being a toe rag when I want to sleep though!!

Original poster

ChutesTooNarrow · 02/03/2011 19:49

Gabe is now sleeping 7.30pm-7am

We are fairly sure it is the end of teething that has brought this change. Si is still sleeping in his room and we plan to carry on with that until the weekend and then see if Gabe is ok on his own. I am quite enjoying having a king-sized bed to myself though We are completely happy to carry on co-sleeping, just as long as the boob to sleep association is gone, we are just going to see how it goes.

One slight annoyance of night weaning Gabe is that he has ramped up the day time feeds. I think he has a cold at the moment so am going with the flow but feel like I am pinned to the sofa doing newborn feeding marathons again.

I hope you get the referral and it comes through quickly baz.

OP posts:

crapbarry · 02/03/2011 21:43

oh, that's brilliant chutes! you must feel like a new person! fingers crossed it continues!

BerryLellow · 05/03/2011 17:24

helllloooooooooooooooooooo

This thread fell off my threads I'm on and I panicked :o

Happy St Piran's Day everyone!

peachygirl · 05/03/2011 18:53

Hi sorry not been in here much.. Bit of a crap day , lots of strops from DD1 and me!

Original poster

ChutesTooNarrow · 05/03/2011 19:26

Happy St Piran's Day!

OP posts:

Lazyem · 05/03/2011 19:45

My friend put that on her FB status and I misread it and got all excited that it was Pirate's day!!

Another trying day here. After being much better yesterday and actually eating, J has had a very bad day. DD has been an absolute gem. She is really good with J and never gets cross at him like I do. DH was at his Granny's and looking at a new car so I took them out to a local park and tried the 'fresh air' approach. Didn't work and have put J to bed at 6.30pm tonight. Down the Drs on Monday, then!

Wish I'd never looked at the child BMI thread. The people on there would have a field day with DD. When do they stop using the percentile lines as a guide? I thought that if they were on the same line for height and weight then that was OK? DD is 99.8th for both height and weight, so based on the fact that she was 2 stone 2lbs at 10 months on milk and puréed veg alone, she is doing pretty well to actually be on the charts now, not way over them!! I think that she will just be like me. Huge as a child, but tall and skinny as an adult. Another thing to worry about!

Sorry for the moan, moan, moan. Has been a wearing day.

Original poster

ChutesTooNarrow · 05/03/2011 20:12

I feel your pain lazyem! DP worked today and I always struggle with six straight days of Gabe wrangling. Five is fine, the extra one just tips me over the edge. Gabe slept badly last night so I was grumpy and shouty and generally a really shit mum. He only wants me as well, won't let me leave the room and it is so fun cooking dinner to the howls of a screaming child. Also at the moment he is having a bf frenzy which I am allowing due to night weaning and a slight cold. It is driving me crackers though. He maneuvered himself earlier do he could lie on me, feed and watch telly at the same time

OP posts:

Lazyem · 05/03/2011 20:23

6 days straight is definitely difficult! I'm finding that I am just doing anything I need to get through this stage, but it is DD who is missing out as when he is like he is at the minute, I generally just let him sleep through it, so we can't go out as much as we'd like to and if she isn't at nursery that means we just do painting, cutting and sticking or play-dough type activities, rather than the park or riding bikes etc. I am so looking forward to the summer when we can hopefully just get out and about for walks and picnics. Much easier and cheaper to have a day out when the weather is nice! We did take her ice skating on Friday which was very funny!! DH said his arms were really aching from holding her up!

Hope Gabe has a good night tonight and you get some rest too!

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