AUGUST 2010 - welcome to post-natal :o)

[CherryPie3]

I know I'm not around a great deal lately but we don't yet have a PN thread - so here we are.

Love to all xxx

:)

Hmmm...more cleaning, or room for everything so house looks tidier

Cazzy yes, initials are CEE

alice I know exactly how you feel, I could have written most of those questions myself.

DH isn't away, he's just got horrible working hours at this unit - one week in 4 is night shift working from 5pm til 8am and he's got PT on top of work so even though he starts work at half 8 he has to be in at 7 to run or whatever they've got on. I went to a toddler group today and they were really unfriendly so that got me down. Sam just cries all the time plus he's on his growth spurt which means he feeds all the time. I broke a tooth 3 months ago which is really, really painful but I can't see a dentist til February cos the waiting list's so long and since we've moved we're right at the beginning even though I'd been seen down in Dorset. I feel like I'm not giving DD enough time and I'm lonely. [sigh] sorry, it's all just got on top of me today.

Thank god for MN though

Which area are you in now? Are you very far from your old place? How long til DD is in pre-school? Have you found the children's centre yet? (sorry, so many questions!) I really can't understand people going to toddler groups if they don't want to speak to people - surely that is what they are for? My sister found that lots of groups round her were very unfriendly too. It is very sad.

Have perked up a little since DD and i have been fed, F is snoozing and DD's behaviour has been better today, and DH should be home soon. Just feel that i am trying to be too many things at once. I want to be a good mummy, i want to have a lovely, calm organised house, i want to look tidy and sleek, i want to be doing well with my horses, i want to provide lovely meals for my family, and i want to be socially competetant. In reality i am stressed, scruffy, a terrible procrastinator, very messy, a bit lazy, not a great cook but okish, and socially inept. However i am very friendly and chirpy and most of the time we tick along ok, but add lack of sleep and two demanding children to the mix and i start to go quite mad

right, enough wittering on, must go and bath these children....

My initals are ch

Grrr you girls.... ;-)
Chulita massive hugs it must be incredibly difficult moving at this stage for you. Hope you're managing to take it easy on yourself because of that! Are there any other toddler groups available nearby? Maybe it'll just take a few goes to settle in? - And give yourself a pat on the back for going at all. I chickened out of one yesterday..... Is there any way you could arrange for some of your (helpful) friends from previous home to come visit?
Alice you're doing wnderfully. I don't know how your girls with more than one manage! - And you're doing more than managing; you've got everyone fed! Which is more than I've managed until the last two days -- a couple of weeks ago DH came home to find me in a heap because S had been feeding / screaming for hours and the oven had broken halfway through cooking my tea, so all I'd had was a biscuit for seven hours!
Oh and you're clearly not socially inept ;)
And the bf is helping you lose weight wonderfully so when F gives you a bit of a breather you'll be lovely and slim and be able to pour yourself into your new corset and other wonderfully little clothes!

We're in Hereford now so miles from Dorset, not too far from Gloucester which is where we moved from about 14 months ago but being army most of my friends from there have moved on.
DD is in pre-school starting January 2012 so a way off yet (not looking forward to it either) There's no children's centre near me, apparently there's one about 30 mins walk away but I've not wandered that way yet. I need to though cos Sam's nearly 12 weeks and still not had his jabs so I have to chase someone up about those and the GPs we registered at seems rubbish...The last 3 toddler groups we went to were fab but this one was one of those where they all talked to each other and no one wanted to even notice the 'new girl' which made me feel really crap and cos Sam had been crying all morning I nearly burst into tears at one point - good thing DD nearly fell of the slide so I had an excuse to rush over and pretend to faff with her!
alice you sound exactly like me, lol! (apart from the horses...)

Chulita I went to college in Hereford. We used to spend the evenings wandering around the city (poor students) and there are some lovely big parks and things

pample a friend of mine said her DH would come home from work and think it had been a good day if only either her or her DD were crying On bad days there is always toast

Chulita and Alice it sounds like you are both doing a fantastic job, like pample says, I really can't imagine dealing with a toddler as well as a new baby. And to give you an idea of how competent you are by comparison, I feel like I have overachieved this morning because I have successfully had a shower, changed the bedding and washed up. Washed up the plates from dinner that my DH cooked last night

I'm sorry your toddler group seemed rubbish, I guess maybe you have to be a bit pushy almost to begin with and talk to everyone. If it still turns out they're being horrible, then try and find another one. Both the groups I have joined are at children's centres (completely stony broke on maternity pay and DH's pitiful archaeologist salary) and the key attraction for me is that they were free, but I'm hopeful of making some friends - and at least people are talking to me.

The news at bellygazing towers is that the cold continues but seems to be improving thanks to a combination of turning the bathroom into a steam room, propping up one end of the cot, putting a wet flannel on the radiator and popping a tissue with a couple of drops of olbas oil on it in the room. So we got to sleep at 11.45pm last night, then through to 4.10am, then sleep until 8.45am. When Elodie realises she's blocked up and starts working herself up, it makes it harder for her to breathe and it's all quite horrible, but I'm confident it's getting better.

Marzi, for a baby who wakes every time he is put in his cot, co-sleep! Or leave him to cry for 10 mins to see if he settles himself.

Chulita, sorry you are feeling down. I am feeling a bit rushed off my feet, like there is always another bum to change, mouth to feed, washing up to do, ironing, tidying up, bathtime etc etc. It is quite exhausting and I don't know what I would do if Daniel was more demanding (cry and beg my mum to come help probably).

He is going to sleep around midnight so weehector I understand your delight getting them off before 12! He is sleeping through to mornin though .

Pample, sounds like you are getting there! You are doing right leaving her to fuss for a few minutes before feeding her. Glad you are getting a little bit more of a break.

Alice, i feel same sometimes - if I could be arsed to do more WOH then DH wouldn't have to bear the brunt, but looking after kids is hard work and a ft job. No you are not selfish for keeping the horses. They are more fun than a bigger house! And the LOs can help you with them later can't they? And as for whether it's fair on #1 to have #2, well you know you are being silly there . I have three sisters and there was always enough love to go around!

Chulita, toddler groups can be rough sometimes,. Do you think they were being rude or just scared to open up a convo? I felt i had to force myself to talk to people, some were still rude but I met a few nice people! I felt really isolated where I live cos it is not where I grew up but through toddler groups I have met a set of really nice women. It took about a year though and you have to meet lots of people to find someone you just click with. Persevere and - most important - smile! People are more likely to talk to someone who looks happy

Hi. I'm new to MN and my little girl was born on 5 August. May I join your group?
My DD is my first child so everything is very new (and pretty frightening too, if I'm honest).

hello everyone,
i cant believe its been so long since ive even managed to peek on here! every time i go to find the thread a certain little man demands attention (a bit like when u try to sit down & actually drink a hot remotely warm cup of tea). he's currently zonked out on mummy's chest (pls dont let that jinx the quietness).

We now have a rented flat in North Wales :) dont know if ive explained before but DP is army & as we're not married we're not given any quarters so as soon as LO was born we had no place to stay up there when we visited (normal life for us is still South England but as im on maternity leave we're going up for a few weeks a month to stay with daddy). it feels a bit like leading a double life & is a huge pain lugging all the baby stuff we need a few hundred miles each time. Have no internet access up there apart from iPhone & dont know anybody else really so can identify with the loneliness when im there. Anybody near the north coast of wales who'd like a coffee buddy??

Aidan is now 10 weeks & for the last 2 weeks has been sleeping thru on average from 11pm-7am & i would just like to say woohooo! A friend of mine said her second little one born in May started sleeping through at 2 & a half months, managed it for 3 weeks and then suddenly stopped & hasnt since! so im hoping he's not playing a little trick on mummy & getting her hopes up too soon! fingers crossed.

however, he's not great at napping during the day. he'll nod off if im cuddling him as he's such a snuggly baby, but if i attempt to put him down he doesnt last too long before getting grumpy, esp if i leave the room. Any tips about putting bub down for a nap during the day?

Also, particularly those bottle feeding, how much are your LOs having? i think he's about 13lb 7oz & he's just gone up to 5 lots of 6fl oz a day which he seems okay with.

Favourite game at the mo is looking in the mirror & smiling & gurgling at our reflections. Sooooo cute!

cazandbelle thank you for the link to your blog, i was in tears reading it. its been really valuable reading your messages both on facebook & on here. a close work collegue recently lost her little one just a few days after giving birth and thanks to your openness ive had some insight into what she needs from her friends whereas before i would not have had a clue what to say.

its taken ages to write all this as little man did wake up & want feeding! Hope it all makes sense. right, now for my dinner... x

sorry cross posted earlier: welcome bookcasefullofbooks :)
my little boy is just a few days older, born on 2nd aug. Also a first time mum & loving it!
ive found MN very valuable & reassuring. great for advice, celebrating or just a good old moan!
How are you getting on with motherhood?

Hi Bubbabear. I'm completely in love with my little girl!

Finding motherhood pretty isolating though, so I've been chatting on here quite alot and people have been lovely. I've been trying to get out and about to keep my mood up too.

Dd is doing pretty well with sleeping at night now but during the day she won't let me put her down, so I hold her in a wrap. It's probably the most useful baby item I have bought.

Thanks pample - of course I won't deny I sometimes find it very hard reading here but you were such a big part of my journey with Belle that I don't want to let you all go. I enjoyed sharing my pregnancy with you, you were all amazingly kind when Belle was born and I do like to lurke and keep up with all your lovely babies. Just thank you all for your continued support really and helping to remember and honour Belle this week.

Bubba - I'm glad you found my blog, fb etc useful. If it helps other angel Mummies then its doing part of the job I wanted it to do. Be an education. It also massively helps me to organise my thoughts and get it out.

welcome to books

My phased return to work plan is in place now and I had a meeting with my head today. I will have my first proper morning on 3rd Nov. That 1st week I will do 2 mornings, 2nd week I'll do 3 mornings, 3rd week 2 mornings and 1 full day, and 4th week 2 full days and one morning. I think the head has been very understanding and she said today that in the months ahead if I'm having a wobbly day and I need an early finish it will not be a problem. I feel very lucky as I know not everyone would have that same support.

*that was meant to read, if it helps others relate to other angel Mummies!

welcome bookcase, glad your LO is sleeping well, I wish mine would! (4 feeds last night - 12.30, 2.00, 3.30, 5.45, I miss my sleep!) Whereabouts in the country are you? Are there many groups to go to nearby? I'm trying to get out more now we've kind of got the hang of feeding and I find the days feel much better and drag less if I get out to something.

All that travelling sounds hard work bubbabear, glad you've got a flat now :)

J is being very cute watching his mobile going round, I'm just bracing myself for what will hopefully be the last feed before bed.
Neenz he's sleeping in his cot right up against our bed with the side off so almost cosleeping, I find I don't sleep at all well with him actually in the bed and in any case, just moving him from my lap to lying on the bed beside me wakes him up (don't find feeding lying down very easy or effective). He was a bit better last night at going to sleep after feeds, just fed often!

chulita really hope you find some lovely new friends in Hereford, it must be really hard being in a new place but at least babies always provide a talking point!

Good night everyone [fingers crossed] x

cross posts caz, glad work are being so understanding, I hope it goes really well for you :)

Hello Caz and Marzipan
Goodness Marzipan. I feel for you. I haven't caught up with previous posts yet. Do you have someone at home to share childcare with?

I live in Berkshire. I go to the Children's Centre and Baby Sensory. I'm working on building a social circle too. I'm exhausted by the end of the day.

I hope you are able to get some sleep x

Hi everyone :)

please bear with my terrible typing as it's one handed, cutrrently about halfway through the marathon that is evening cluster feeding!!

Chulita and Alice hugs to you both. You both are achieving so much without even realising it! I think you both deserve a huge pat on the back as you are doing fantastic and should be really proud :):):)

Hi and welcome bookcase :)

We had weighed Corey today at clinic and he's a fantastic 12lbs dead on now, clever boy!! He's the weight of a 10wk old baby but as he was 4 weeks early the (lovely) hv said he's bang on what they want him to be :) He'll be 15wks on Friday.

Neenz I wish I had your energy to iron, clean etc!! I feel I've had a good day if I've managed to make the beds and get a load in the washer!!

caz lovely to hear that your work are being so flexible and supportive. :)

Anyhoo...I'm off tobed now where no doubt the cluster marathon will continue.

Night night all, sleep well (hopefully) xxx

bookcase whereabouts in berkshire are you? im in reading & spend a lot of time in newbury too.
really must get to bed, have been spoilt by the amount of laptop time ive managed this evening!
night all x

i am off swimming today .. never been before. I am all stupidly panicky about it...will be there somewhere to leave the pushchair, what if Poppy poos in the water, will the other people be nice...

FGS get a grip woman

Ha ha, Cazzy, I was terrified the first time I took DS1 swimming. Got there about 45 minutes early and ended up hanging around for ages . Honestly, you'll be fine. Your little one will probably love it, and swimming nappies are very efficient .

Welcome bookcase.

Quick TMI question about lochia. Mine still hasn't fully settled down at 8 weeks; most days it's just like a slightly brown tinged discharge, but sometimes it's slightly heavier and pinker. Yesterday it was much redder again, and I was convinced my period was starting, but today nothing again. Should I be worried, or have other people had this?

Hi cazzybabs.

My little girl had her first lesson last week.
Hope you and yours have a good time.

hi all we are back from spain which was lovely though not exactly relaxing with the 3 kids.

~I have come back with tonsilitis though so am on antibios and feel awful. my dad coming in a bit to pick up dds 1 and 2. better get them ready so more later

Hi Elusive, I had a similar thing so went to the doctors and they referred me for a scan to check there was no retained placenta etc, the scan showed nothing and my bleeding stopped suddenly a week later. Apparently the bleeding can continue for about 8-10 weeks without there being anything "wrong", however if I was you I would pop to the Doctors for your piece of mind.

Welcome Bookcase :)

Our postnatal group was really good, there seemed to be some potential RL friends which I am pleased about! The only thing was it did end up triggering a minor meltdown which finally came out through the combination of a screaming baby and me dropping the freshly sterilised breast pump bits on the floor resulting in me screaming as loud as I could for a minute (did make me feel better), I think it was because so many of the ladies seemed so totally in control with routines and good day and night sleeps, when we have neither and DD screamed for the majority of the session when all the other babies slept or played on the mat!!!

Chulita I'm sorry your group wasnt great however keep persevering as I'm sure you will make friends soon, have you thought about trying the NCT groups, details of all the local groups are on their website so it might be worth you checking that out.