FEB 2010 Teeth, nosh and smelly bums - it's all go, six months on!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Where did the last half a year go??!

mamaloco How are you doing?
stoof Any luck with those jobs?
Anyone else... sending sleepy vibes.... (yawn)
(smile)

Back after a few odd days here. Had a very bad day on Tuesday (4 hours sleep again, DS2 sick in the cot twice before 9a.m and rolled in it, clearing it up with DS1 running a train up my leg asking me 100 questions about what I was doing, why, etc..)and subsequently spent most of the day crying.

My Mum came round which should have been great, except for the fact that she walked in and said, "I won't give you any sympathy as it'll only make you worse," and didn't even consider giving me a hug. Then told me I should look on the bright side. I asked what that was and she couldn't think of one for me! Luckily, my lovely neighbour took pity on me, gave me a big hug, told me I was great and bought me flowers and chocolate. On a serious (and sorry, downer) note, can you remind me what the signs of PND are? I'm not surprised to be feeling on the edge after all the stuff going on here (and severe sleep deprivation) and I'm just monitoring myself for a while and accepting help and hugs when I can in RL (and on here obviously .

However, I'm with IC on the man-slave, masseur, etc.. thing so have a much better deal than most and thank my lucky stars daily (and how the hell is DHrelated to DMIL?!!) Hugs to you Mamaloco. Show him what we've all said and give him a wake-up call! Either that, or disappear or tell him you're off to empty the bin at a teatime and then don't come back till after bedtime - he'll soon get the message!

Fizi have been doing the 3 week tummy loss thing ready for holiday in a week's time - still munching the occasional bit of chocolate and have reduced the red wine. You will look beautiful whatever size you are and have a lovely LO to show off too!

CC: virtually no nappy rash: sudocrem; red bottom: Bepanthan; spotty angry bottom: metanium - works miles better than the others for us with both boys. It leaves them with a 'bartbum' - bright yellow stuff that doesn't wash off well, but then I guess that's the point of it!

DS1 didn't crawl properly at all and didn't sit unaided till 8.5 months (and I taught him to roll by rolling him off a pillow at 5.5months! ) and then he randomly walked at 11 months! He said his first word at 8 months. DS2 is more physically advanced than he was (now sitting for about 20 secs, caterpillaring across the room this week, rolled at 11 weeks) but doesn't appear as communicative (except for the hideous screech which is threatening to crack our new windows!!) All different as people have said. I like the fact that they are different as it keeps me on my toes.

DS2 got his first tooth today - hooray!

Yesterday I went to empty the potty leaving DS2 in his walker and DS1 playing. Returned to find no DS2. DS1 looked very pleased with himself. He had hidden him by the stairs as DS2 got too close to the trains! DS2 then reversed out of the gap with a "Hellooooo???" look on his face - very amusing!!

Last point.. I'm in the migraine club too and also get severe pain from periods. What a great combination with two DSs to look after. Both should be banned (health things, not DSs!)

Apologies for the ramble.

Bethylou - Am with your mum! She's supposed to give you sympathy, that's what mums are for. Grr. We can send her into the corner with mamaloco's DH.

We didn't have such a bad night last night - DS slept from 8pm until 6.40am with about three short wakings for food. I really can't wait until the cotbed arrives though.

DH was working out of the house for once (and is again today) so my mum came round from 11am until nearly 6pm. Most of the time she was ok but she does say the oddest things to DS, things that make me wince. I can't remember any of the ones she said yesterday but one time she was telling him how when he got to be a teenager and got girlfriends I'd be jealous. I was like and said that no, I wouldn't be jealous because that would be weird. She then blustered for about half an hour about how she was "just talking rubbish, pay no attention".

I've been pretty disorganised about mealtimes but yesterday I cooked a big pot of chicken thighs with onions, carrot, celery, leeks and potatoes and pureed it and put it in the freezer in little pots. I also bought a few ready made organic pots and sachets for the cupboard for those days when either he rejects home made stuff or I don't have any in the freezer or if we're going out for the day. It has actually taken a weight off my mind a bit like when I bought one carton of formula and put it in the cupboard just in case I was too sore etc. I never needed it but it was good to know it was there.

Thanks all for your support, you made me cry .

I am angry , he knows it. Freinds have told him he is incredibly lucky to have me and selfish in his choices (he recognised it himself), not mentionning my own familly and his late dad . yes Fizzy Is dad died in the spring, but he is not grieving anymore, just sad. He had the same behavior before DD1.
He got drunk at a wedding, couldn't hear the phone, was sleeping on someone couch, he had my keys because he lost the other ones (2 sets of keys in 1 month, FFS!), so I was left with a migraine, 2 girls awake at 6 am, with no way out and no way of knowing if he was OK or laying somewhere in a ditch. (I was already trying to contact the UK embassy so they would help me find him )
He is working all the time, most of it is him talking far too much so it takes longer to do stuffs, and loosing things which he has to look for for ages .

But I am lucky, that both DDs always slept quite well, eat well and grown well.
I am like a single parents most of the time, he was far more involve with DD1. Now I have a teenager and 2 girls.
I think it went when we emigrated and he stayed alone for 6 months. He got used to a "studenty" life again, and he hasn't got back. In is defence the market has been incredibly hard (3 jobs in 3 years), and stressful and he comes from a workaholic background. But he didn't want to emulate his dad and now he is acting exactely like him.

I think my grumpiness has finally got into him and he is trying to do something. Been at home for 2 nights in a row at 18h, cooked and done the dishes, and I didn't find any dirty underwears or cup of tea/beers randomly misplaced all over the house this morning (yet! may be they are well hidden , I hope they are not ).

Sleep was better DD2 is back in our room, only woke up once (crawling asleep), put the dummy back and DD down. DH only woke me 4 times which is a better as well, and DD1 didn't pee or hurt herself.
May be we should consider sleeping appart?

again a me post, losts of hugs back to all of those in need.

We are having a mad hair day today . Her hair is normally quite straight so I don't know what she did in her cot overnight...

BG

mamaloco glad I made you ...

Great hair, BG!!

Glad your DH has been behaving a bit better, mamaloco - the collected ire of your MN friends is a good threat !!

Oh, bethylou - I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed by it all - you have such a lot to contend with. All those health issues, you and the DSs.... very unfair and it's no wonder you feel you're struggling. I'm amazed by how well you do - I'm pretty sure I would be in a far worse state than you if I had the same things on my plate.
FWIW (from NHS website):

Most cases of postnatal depression start within six months of the birth, but can occur any time within a year. You can feel overwhelmed by hopelessness. You may feel angry, or too exhausted to be angry or to do the simplest tasks.

Symptoms can include:

* crying a lot,
* difficulty sleeping,
* thinking you?re a bad mother,
* not being able to cope, and blaming yourself,
* anxiety and panic attacks,
* being overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks,
* feeling anxious or guilty,
* feeling tense and irritable,
* an inability to make decisions, and
* poor concentration.

Don't hesitate to get help, bethy, if you seriously think you have PND. Hope you feel better soon

Glad to hear of better nights, bc and CC. DD napped like a champion yesterday and stuffed her face - but she was very restless at times last night. I only fed her twice between 19.30 and 07.00, but she was fidgeting loads in between times. Not much protesting - a little bit of complaining at one stage, but generally I left her to settle herself back down. Twice she turned herself 180degrees (still on her back).

I'm not sure if maybe she was a little cold (the nights are finally getting cooler here, thankfully); had indigestion (prodigious amounts of poo today - all very orange, reflecting the amount of carrot she's had lately!)or was excited at being able to turn herself round and wanted to practice.
Anyway, given that I generally ignored her (as she wasn't distressed, just active), it didn't feel like a terrible night. She seems fine today, too.

bethylou big, big hugs. I second everything IC said, it is absolutely no wonder that you're struggling emotionally, with everything you have to contend with. In fact it would be very surprising if you didn't feel down - it is the normal human response to difficult circumstances. Do take care of yourself. And remember to keep reminding yourself what a fantastic job you're doing.

(PS Don't like the sound of reducing the red wine! Surely there's another way? )

bc was the chicken stew all for your DS?! Or you just pureed a bit for him?

mama why is your DH waking you up at night? Snoring? My exP did, a few times a night, it drove me mad especially as he would deny that he was snoring (how would he know, he was ASLEEP). You need your sleep, maybe you could sleep apart from him for a while? Or is that a bad move relationship-wise? [worried]

BG I love that hair! She has so much!!

CC why does your DH get 8 hours sleep a night, when you have to get up and go to work? Curious. I accept the sleep deprivation as my due, as DD is my 'job' and DP has to function properly at work. Obv you're BF so he can't do the night feeds, but he could get up with LO while you get an extra hour in the morning...? Really I am just wondering.

I must admit that DP often thanks me for doing such a great job and compliments me, which makes me feel great, but I don't think I have ever thanked him for putting a roof over our heads and food on the table . I should.

CC men often need to be prompted IME. Maybe if you tell him that you're feeling unappreciated, he'll remember to be verbally and physically nicer to you!

How's it going stoof? Haven't heard from Abs for a while either.

Feeding (solids) going a little better here the past two days... I'm hoping that she's getting the hang of it, after only four weeks trying!

Have a good weekend everyone. DP is away AGAIN, on his stag this time. Which I'm totally fine with, it just seems he's forever leaving me with DD!

DH asked if I remembered to add "toy boy" and "gigolo" to his list of attributes

I second fizi, CC - I've been giving DH lie-ins all week because he's working, but today he wasn't so he took DD after her early milk feed and gave me an hour or so more in bed - quid pro quo. Could you get some kind of an arrangement going with your DH?

Three separate poos today - all turds, too which makes them easier to clean up, if nothing else! We're now feeding DD broccoli, peas and courgettes to see if we can turn her poo green....

IC lol at 'turds'. Such a good word. Blueberries make an interesting colour too, and just wait for your first 'raisin' nappy....

IC for the most interesting greenish black poo try leaf spinach

OMG you've been busy today!

bethy I second IC it's normal knowing what you've been through but get it check.

Night wasn't too bad, and it's the weekend, so I'm ready for tonight, especially if DS does his weekend special ie waking up at 5.30am.

During all my pregnancy I have developed lumps on my armpits, spending nearly all the 38 weeks under antibiotics. The GP thought it was linked to the pregnancy hormones and my body fighting them... but I am glad to announce that the lumps have reappeared so I'm now waiting for a referral to a specialist to have they checked over. I can't wait even if it means a probable surgery to remove them... Let's wait and see.

I can't complain about DH as he does help a lot (he vacuums, do the dishes, the laundry...) and also he takes care of me and pick me up when I'm down. Yesterday he admitted that I could be tired / exhausted as DS is soo active and never gives me a rest. I started crying when he told me that... So he gave me tomorrow night off to go out with some work colleagues. {smile]

Have a good night and weekend

Another flyby to read, but must thank you all once againf or your support which is sooo appreciated.

Mamaloco gald things are on the up. Don't let him go down hill again though - he must keep up his efforts at this level.

IC try beetroot for red poo and frighten your other half by forgetting to tell him like I did with DS1!!

BG My DS2 is very jealous of your DD - he has very little hair at the mo - may never change oas DH doesn't either! I keep telling both DSs to enjot their hair while it
lasts!!

Sorry to not reply to the rest of you in person but I have to prepare for tonight's marathon!! Let's all have a good one (sleep that is!!)

Morning all,

My favourite alarm o'clock woke up at 6.30am this morning so I can't really complain Good night here with 3 waking up of less than 5mn sorted by giving him the dummy... Not a solution but I can't face not sleeping!

Hope you manage all to get some well deserved sleep

GF exactely the same comments here, except my alarm is set at 6 am
DH fell alseep on the sofa so just DD2 3 dummy times to wake me up last night.

Heh, thanks for all the tips on changing the colour and texture of DD's poo!

Love the beetroot one!!

IC at your blog re foot fetish...

Wow it took me a while to catch up on all the posts since the last time I was on!

bethylou take it easy on yourself. Have some dark chocolate - they are a great mood booster.

mamaloco as someone who's back at work, it's much harder staying at home looking after LOs so don't let your DH make any excuses. Work's non-stop for me, as soon as I get to the office it's usually one meeting after another or one issue after another.... but I found it much harder staying at home day after day. In fact even though I'm sleeping less than before I went back to work during weekdays (DH used to take DD in the mornings so I could sleep), I feel less tired. Well done to your DH for at least noticing and making an effort! He should keep up at the level he's been at the last couple of days.

What to report? Last week, DH was in a very ratty mood, and got angry at me for no reason - well not "no reason", he said I asked too many questions about what DD was doing during the day. I felt I had a right to know what DD did during the day. We had a good row about that. All better now as he's adjusted to taking DD during the day.... turned out it was him being moody. It's very unlike him to be this moody - it's usually me. So yes looking after LOs are very tough.

CC I let DH have 8 hours sleep too, or more accurately he gets the opportunity to have 8 hours sleep, which he rarely takes as he tends to stay up a little later than he should. Mind you I stay up later than I should as well. Regardless, he has to wake up at 7.30/8am for DD's breakfast. I have to wake up when DD wakes - these days usually around 6.30/7.30am - but I get to take it easier in the mornings. You have a good point re the compliments. I think I'll start agreeing with DH that we compliment each other every day on what we do, or at least 1 thing.

ROFL IC at your description of your DH. I had the opportunity to train DH too as we did meet when he was at the trainable age. Unfortunately I was also younger then, and was not as skilled as I like to think I am now at domesticating men

All, I came across something called Elimination Communication (EC) where the idea is you teach your LO to poo/pee on cue. Am tempted to give it a go but can't quite decide how it would work in winter. Has anyone tried it before? If you have, how did it go?

Hi all,

Fizi No, we ate most of the chicken dish and added salt at the table - just pureed a bit for DS. Made about 8 tiny pots for the freezer.

I did loads of cooking yesterday and now have about 20 little pots in the freezer - one dish that he loved in a shop-bought pouch was carrot and butternut squash so I steamed a lot of my own and pureed it - I thought it would be a dead cert that he'd go for it but when I fed it to him he screamed like I was going to kill him. Also cooked up a bag of sainsbury's cheapo basics pears (I meant to add a cinnamon stick but I forgot) and pureed them and he couldn't get enough. They all prefer the sweet stuff don't they?

His posseting had got better but now we have actual food we've got more vomit and now of course it is coloured and it stains clothes.

I was walking down the hill to the supermarket the other day in a bit of a smug mood because he was looking beautiful, I thought I was looking alright and we have quite a posh pram (Stokke Xplory). About 5 minutes later I looked down and he was COVERED in carrot/milk curd vom. Serves me right.

Today I am baking Millionaire's shortbread with rosemary infused salted caramel as a present for my friends who let us use their house in France. It's a great recipe - www.independent.ie/lifestyle/food-drink/millionaires-shortbread-with-rosemaryinfused-salted-caramel-2160966.html but I found it was best to use only 180g of butter in the shortbread and cook it for longer than she says. That might just be my oven though.

Also I've been trying to get him to hold/use a sippy cup (with valve) with water in for about 4 weeks and he still hasn't got it.

Listen, any foot fetishism is definitely from DH's side of the family...(!)

bc pride before a fall!!! Love it.

Also very naughty of you to put that recipe in. I LOVE millionaire's shortbread....

I know what you mean about copying the pouch recipe and them rejecting the home-made version! We've taken to adding a spoon of fruit puree or chucking in a bit of pair with veggie stuff and gradually reducing the sweetness. Seems to be having some success as DD will now eat stuff that's more savoury in flavour than previously. Porridge usually finds favour and she's very keen on roast veg. Also, after being initially dubious about yoghurt (with a little puree added), she now seems to love it - well, the last few days, anyway! She's nothing if not contrary when it comes to food.

DD's enthusiastic about her sippy cup, but at the moment I have to help her with it as it's quite large for her small hands. She's got the general idea of what to do, but just needs assistance until she gets a bit stronger and better co-ordinated.

BC I haven't thought a a valve sippy cup yet. DS is used to hold and drink from his free flow one but he get soaked as he loves waving it around.

I tried a lot of different sippy cups with dd1 until she was so confused that she refused to drink from any cup for ages. With dd2 I have just used the tommee tippee most basic free flow one and she is totally fine with it although I tend to help her. She also likes to wave it about and watches in fascination if she holds it over the side of the highchair and a nice puddle forms on the floor

Terrible night here so full of sympathy for those of you doing this every night...
dd2 awake from 3 to 4 and 5 to 6 with what appeared to be ear ache (she was pulling her ear and screamed as soon as I lay her down). Eventually she fell asleep totally exhausted on dh's arm and we managed to put her back in her cot. Poor little thing . I felt so helpless because even calpol did not seem to make much difference and at one point she actually pushed me away because she was in so much pain.