Sept 08 - Our LO's are nearly 2, and they're hiding to do a poo (is it time for potty training, not until it stops this raining)

[ninja]

I started it!! (I'm going away to London with just DD1 tomorrow so I want to know where you all are when we get back.

3 toddler free days!!

mrsA - dd2 is quite good at clearing up, but that is probably just because putting things in boxes and putting books back on shelves etc happens to coincide with her idea of fun.

dd1 is ok too, sometimes we do things like timing it, or racing to see who can clear the most the quickest etc to make it more fun.

I thought dd1 was much happier at school now - she's making more friends, but then on Friday she told me she'd cried part the way through the day because she was missing me, and it had happened another day as well

Carrie sounds like a nightmare with the kitchen. all building works are hard to live with, but kitchen has to be the worst.

meglet sorry you're having a hard time, really feel for you having to deal with behavioural probs on top of everything

so...ended up at em docs yesterday afternoon and had to have an injection in my hip!!! Not sure whats wrong with it but its hurt like buggery

Bit better today - good job! Have been tramping arung a nature reserve with ds1 on his "forest skills" HE group I didnt have to swing from vines, thank god.

Dh away til friday Got a busy week this week so hopefully it will go quickly....

bookmarking.

Did NCT sale yesterday, got rid of loads of things and stocked up on clothes for the DC's .

meglet - glad you managed to do some non spending spending at the nct sale!

becaroo - hope hip on the mend still

had mad day today - ex pursuing me down the road, begging and pleading, followed by telling dd1 that he would never see them again, and it was all mummies fault because she wants to see other men, and he wants her to know this . then snatching phone from me when i tried to call police, knocking me over.. haranguing me etc etc had to go into a garage to ask them to call police - he carried on shouting at me and demanding to know who i was seeing while i was on floor in garage. Utterly mad - i left him over 14 months ago, and things were over before then. poor kids [anger]
he ran away before police came, so don't know where he is or if he might turn up again.

Hiya, tis Starlight. Lovely to see you all still check in now and then.

We're still having a nightmare with ds. We lost the tribunal because the LA threw huge amounts of provision at us and the judge ruled in their favour because it all looked too good to be true.

It was. They aren't delivering on what they promised. It's a nightmare and I'm battling again

Hope you are all good.....

oh shit splish. What can you do next? TBH he sounds pretty out of control. Shouldn't the injunction mean he is stitching himself up by doing all that. Hope you and the DC's are ok now.

starlight Good to see people getting in the Halloween spirit. Will you have to go down the legal route again?

splish Jesus, cant the police take this to the next level???? So sorry you are going through this x

star Sorry to hear re: tribunal...at least next time you can prove they have not provided what the promised

Hip bit better thanks.

Had awful night with dc...ds1 gets so upset when dh isnt here. I think I got maybe...2 hours sleep? sigh.

He has to go away again 3 times before xmas

Pelting it down here, not going far today.

bookmarking as i keep losing you all

splish you poor thing :( Did the garage people witness enough to be of help to the police? So so :( for you that you're going through this.

And big to bec too, poor you with the bad hip and your DH away.

starlight so sorry the promise of provision is not matching up to reality.

We got home yesterday, slight problem with the worktop (they'd ordered it off architects plans and in reality the gap is slightly bigger) so just waiting on a new one...so now we have an oven but no hob, and I'll have to wash up in the bath! Kitchen and utility do look amazing though. My topps tiles vouchers from tesco have arrived so we can go and buy tiles later this week. The turf was put down yesterday so for the first time since we moved here we have a garden. We have to water it every day for a month (I'm hoping for lots of rain!!) and kids can't go on it yet, but it looks great :)

God what a shit day we're all having.
Splish you have a way of telling about a horrible experience that makes it sound fairly ordinary. I am so for you - what a twat ex is - you sound strong and calm and I don't know what else to say. My exH got quite aggressive when I told him I was living and he pushed me over a few times and threw things but at least I had only me to look after and i could just leave. With children I don't know how you do it but just keep positive and love your DCs

Star so sorry for you too. i have no help to offer just lots of good wishes and luck to you.

My day started shit - AF arrived last night and now I have the munchies like you wouldn't believe. Hormonal, fat and not pregnant - what a turn on for DP I must be!! [hhmm]

mrsA - I think maybe it's because the only way of coping is to compartmentalise - it's very odd, it feels like it happens to someone else - every now and again i feel shaky and tearful, but mainly it seems at a distance.

Last night he arrived at my door just before midning, called me downstairs, i went part way, then started to call the police - he smashed in a window by the front door and came in - i threw the phone away from me, he took it, tried to leave, the door was locked so he came back upstairs to get key - dd1 had woken and was standing there... then he ran off. Police came, and they did manage to arrest him a few hours later.

Unfortunately because i have been stupid and let him push the boundaries of the injunction, not reporting him for coming to the door (he's not supposed to come within 50m, harrass, intimidate, use violence, encourage others to do any of the above) the CPS won't pursue a breach of the injunction - it counts as my fault for not standing firm, and i can't complain about him breaking some bits but not all.

So they will charge him with criminal damage, and theft, and if they can speak to the garage owner and he makes statement that witnessed it, then they can add common assault to the charge.

He is in custody still tonight, but in theory he could be let out on bail tomorrow

God splish

I think from now on you need to report EVERY SINGLE time he does this sort of stuff. EVERY TIME. Then the police will realise whats happening?

SPLISH That is awful. I can fully understand why you have been reluctant to 'stand firm' on every part of the injunction but now is the time to be firm and everytime he does the slightest thing wrong tell the police. He might get the message that you are strong and have the power to lock him up. That alone might stop him harrassing you. If it doesn't then a few nights in cells make wake him up. How are he kids in all this? It is so unfair that he drags them into arguments.

Star So sorry you are still having trouble with DS's education. I believe they way they do it is to stall so much that by time they are made to provide the good therapies you have missed that time frame for it to work. They hate having to spend more money then they want to.
have you got him a school place yet?

We have Robyn's 2 year check in a couple of weeks, does anyone know what they do, it's been 9 years since ds's?

Oh splish :( You sound so incredibly strong and level headed through all this, I don't know how you do it.

mrsa so :( about AF.

Our utility room sink is being fitted today so I don't need to wash up in the bath any more. Allegedly the new worktop is coming tonight and two other joiners will fit it tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath over it. Then we need plumber and sparky to finish off, and the lino in the utility room hasn't been laid yet...we're just so fed up of it all now, fed up of being fobbed off and them only doing a little bit each day to keep us sweet and to make it look like something's happening.

Sorry I have been awol, I just don't seem to have the time at the mo.

Bloody hell Splish. I'm so angry that you and the dc are having to put up with this. Stay strong and report every single instance of the injunction being broken. I can understand why you have been tolerant. It's in our nature to try to forgive and forget, but it seems that ex-p is not going to change his behaviour, so you'll have to change with the way you deal with it. No more Mr Nice Guy. Such a hassle and worry for you though.

How's the hip Bec? Sounds painful, and it always worse when you have to deal with everything yourself.

Nice to see you Starlight, sorry to hear about trouble you're having. It must be exhausting.

Debs - I don't know what they do, but we had a leaflet through from the HV team saying your dc should be doing x, y and z and if they're not and you're worried come and see us. Seemed a load of old tosh to me.

Also meant to say sorry about the arrival of AF MrsA. Like Carrie says, eat some brie, pate and drink copious amounts of wine.

Where are Hopefully and Ninja? I haven't seen Ninja for ages.

I hope all the old friends from here are doing OK. Especially Hopefully with the issues with her DP's job. I miss them all.
I see Digitalgirl every so often on the TTC threads and I clocked notcitrus on another TTC#2 thread too.

splish i second what's been said - report everything, no matter how trivial, and be the consistent, calm parent in your DC's lives.

DP and I intend to share a full bottle of wine tomorrow night and put 2 fingers up at AF.

I'm not sure about 2 yr tests. I've not heard anything. C is progressing leaps and bounds with speech, almost every day she does something new. She now counts to 10 and asked me for her own choppng board at the weekend!

She has regressed slightly in other areas though - she can get up the stairs no bother and has been coming down them independently for a few weeks too but in the last few days has begun asking to be carried up and down. Nothing has happened to scare her as far as I know. She has also stopped undressing herself, which she was doing brilliantly, and now asks for me to undress her. I did think we were going to have a go at toilet training soon but now I'm not so sure.

splish You need to stand firm and go down the zero tolerance route. I know its bloody hard, my sister was always bollocking me last year for letting little things slide with XP, but looking back I wish I'd been a bit stricter from the start. Hope your XP calms down now the police have been on to him.

carrie at your utility room.

you wouldn't be at the state we've been living in for the last few months! My new slippers are wrecked from all the bits of wood they've got stuck in them! Still have no worktops or a sink or dishwasher or hob and the fridge is still in a random place in the middle of the room and there's still no sign of the windows guy who was due in June :( And our new lawn is probably going to freeze over night :(
But yes, the utility room is brilliant!! Another one of those things we didn't have growing up and I've never lived in a house that had one...but now I do! And its already filled with craaaaaaaaaaaap. Oh and there's no sign of them putting the floor down in the utility, and the cupboards have no backs to them. But I don't have to wash up in the bath any more!

hey hey ILTMIMI Hip still painful - the halloween party at beavers didnt help last night!!!!

Will have to go back to GP next week if its no better.

carrie Deep breaths!!!! It will be fab. It will!!

Actually carrie you are right about having to put up with chaos while it's being done, I have been looking at the fb pics each time you add to them.

It was bloody cold last night. My runner beans, peppers and dahlias are all finished now. I think the last few peppers can be picked off and used on pizza though . Which come to think of it I'm meant to be cooking now but have been waylaid by the huge Tory Cuts thread on here.

There are two kitchen fitters downstairs, the worktops are going in! Waiting for the plumber to arrive to fit the sink, dishwasher and hob. The mess is unbelievable but it would be cruel to ask them to do the cutting out on the patio when its this cold!

DS has come out with some classics lately, my favourite was at breakfast last week when he was blinking a lot and doing it very deliberately. I asked him if he was ok and he said "I can't see my eyes"! We'll make a philosopher of him yet! We certainly won't make a gymnast out of him though, we were at gym club again today and bless him he was trying hard to do lots of things, but he lacks the basic abilities of climbing and jumping!

This morning we visited the school we want our DCs to go to, we really liked it. Can't believe I'll be applying for DD's place in only a couple of weeks

bookmarking, dropped off my threads I'm on but too busy trying to get a payrise to post much.

Love your ds's comment though Carrie

carrie your ds is so funny!

Hi - bookmarking. I've been really busy and the longer I left coming here, the more diofficult I knew it would be to catch up.

We're all fine.

I'll come and see what you're all up to when the kids are in bed