Sept 08 - Our LO's are nearly 2, and they're hiding to do a poo (is it time for potty training, not until it stops this raining)

[ninja]

I started it!! (I'm going away to London with just DD1 tomorrow so I want to know where you all are when we get back.

3 toddler free days!!

meglet so sorry about the sickness :(
Had a nice day today, got DH's best mate and family visiting tomorrow, can't wait. Its his wife's 30th so while the boys do childcare, we're off to Bettys for fat rascals and posh coffee!

debi I got loads done in the end. The children were on the sofa all morning and not trashing the house so I got all the washing away, cleared the washing line for the first time in week and created an excel spreadsheet for my gas / electricity consumption [geek]. There weren't sick again though so by late afternoon they were bouncing off the walls. We never made it out of our pj's though. It did seem to be a 'one vomit' bug and that was it.

carrie my mum and stepdad go to Yorkshire every year and always go to Bettys .

I'm not sure about the height predictions, XP is 6ft 5" and I'm 5ft 6" but most of our families are fairly tall (except my mum) so I assume DS will be well over 6ft and DD will overtake me, my little sister is 5ft 11" so there are tall genes in the family.

Fucksticks, DP has been sacked . We are planning monster phone session to ACAS on Monday to sort the appeal. Am a bit in shock, not sure what the hell we do to afford, you know, food and stuff. Argh.

oh crap hopefully. . I don't remember all the details but what I read sounds like the company are being a bit dodgy. Do you need solicitors or do ACAS deal with it all?

hopefully I'm horrified - from your description so far, this sacking just doesn't follow. Surely ACAS will be able to support him and ensure that his case is treated fairly. Don't feel you have to reply, but what sector does your DP work in? Is it hugely competitive and could there be some jealous colleagues?

And Meglet, I hope your DCs get better soon. Nothing worse than this weather AND sick DCs.

I have had a massive catch up, I had a lengthy post saying hello to Splish and Kagey and sagecat, and saying how very much I've enjoyed the discussion regarding appropriate birthday presents, but it all disappeared in the ether, not sure how.

At any rate, happy birthday to all the celebrating LOs. Diego just had his on the 30th. He got an easel and crayons and a new bed, which he loves. He hasn't clocked that he can actually get out of it on his own, so still hollers for mum and dad in the morning. I'll be doing the party next weekend as I have just not had the stamina to sort it out for this weekend. I am absolutely exhausted and bloody spherical. I have spent the day sorting out the last of the boxes, a tidal wave of laundry and trying to keep Diego entertained, off my hair and safe at the same time.

Rant over. Have a good Sunday all of you.

Oh Hopefully I don't know what to say. i am so so sorry for you and angry on your DP's behalf.

Lean on family and friends - including ones here. I knw we're not close geographically, but if there is anything we can do to make your life easier, please shout. Even if it's just ranting and screaming.
Seriously - opinions on letters/next steps etc just ask.

I can imagine how scary this must seem but you have your health and each other and a wonderful DS plus bump - when things get too scary, focus on this.

What shit news Hopefully, I hope ACAS are able to be of some help.

As Mrs A says, lean on whoever offers support. They're offerring because they want to, so take them up on it. Let us know if we can help in anyway.

Pacita, you made me laugh at your description of being 'bloody spherical'!

Glad to hear you lo's are feeling better Meglet.

I want to go and visit Betty.

hopefully That is such crap!! Reallt hope ACAS can help you.

pacita Spherical?

Am currently watching the Top Gear vietnam special with ds1 and am rather enjoying seeing Jeremy Clarkson so unhappy on a vespa

Weather rubbish...not sure what I am going to do with ds's this week..sigh..

hopefully that's just rubbish :(
I have no HR experience or advice, but I hope you get what you need from the people who can help.
We've had a lovely day with our friends, and Bettys was lovely although we got soaked! Thankfully the rain meant there wasn't much of a queue! I had a nice coffee and a chocolate truffle slice and started with a dizzy sugar/caffeine headache. I need to get some serious practice in because I'm going out for afternoon tea for best friend's birthday in a few weeks and its the one where we get 4 sandwiches and 7 cakes each!

and hopefully and you must be so too. Sorry I don't have any useful advice but hopefuly someone can give you some tomorrow.

Hopefully that is just crap. i hope you can sort something out soon.

Well me, dp, ds and lucy spent a lovely day in leeds on friday. DS needed a load of dental work so we had to drive 90 mins as our local hospital wouldn't sedate him, he has autism and only just tiolerates the dentist mirror in his mouth. We left Robyn with a friend as we weren't suppose4d to take any other kids and she would of been so bored.
In the end a 1 hour op meant 8 hours in hospital. We were there 3 hours before he went to theatre, we were all starving as he couldn't eat after 7am so we couldn't either. He had 2 extractions 6 fillings, a scale and polish and the front 2 treated for erosion. It sounds a lot but it is the only work he has ever had done and we spent a few years where he was so scared of brushing his teeth.
It was scary when he came round as we couldn't explain to him what was going on and he was upset that his mouth was numb. He was howling in recovery and when he got back to his room he refused to get off the trolley and had a minor tantrum.
We then had to stay for 2 and a half hours so they could make sure he was ok. We finally got back to collect Robyn at 9.30. my friend had told her i was on the loo, dad was at work and ds and dd1 was at school, and she accepted it.
We tumbled home at 10 and got Robyn to bed at 11. we have never been so tired but at least his teeth are better now. no more screaming and grabbing his gums, the poor boy was in pain.

Debs I am sometimes in awe that you have so much strength and an amazing family.

Here, DP had a 'me day' for the first time this year. I dropped him off at the pub at lunchtime and spent a lovely afternoon (although v tiring) with a good friend who's DD goes to C's nursery and they are good friends too. We had quite a bit of 'mine mine' but overall it was painless.
What amazes my and my friend is that her DD is 19 days older than C, yet she will go to school a whole 12 months before C (c is 17th Sept, the other is 29 Aug). My friend is more horrified as she is from the czech republic, where they don't start school till they're 7!!

MrsA the school cut off thing amazes me too. pacita and digigirl's ds are 1 and 2 days older than mine and will go a whole year earlier too. In Scotland the cut off date is end Feb (so you'll be at least 4.5 when you start school) but it's not as rigid as in England and the Jan & Feb birthdays are given the option of waiting a year to start.

Uh, I'm a Johnny foreginer too. Debi, can you explain to me how the cutoff business for school works?? Diego was born on the 30th... I am planning on going and stalking the local good school today!

Samuel ws 26 August, so in the UK he would be the very youngest, here in France the school year is the same as the calendar year, so he won't be the youngest at all. And he's registered to start this school year, just mornings
Sorry to hear about your DH Hopefully

pacita IIRC your DS will be off to school in Sept 2012, whereas anyone born in the September will be off in Sept 2013. I think that's right? I do think it's weird having almost a year between the oldest and youngest in the class, although I think they slightly stagger the start days for the younger ones.

hopefully fingers crossed you have a productive 'meeting' with ACAS and you have a plan of action in place.

The dc's had the dentist this morning, DS was very good as he's already had a few appointments but DD wasn't so sure so I held her on my lap. They are both 'stickered up' now!

Did a bit of research last night and in Wales, so may be different in England, for any child born between 28 and 31 August inclusive, their parents can choose which school year they start in.

So my friend could choose for her DD to delay a year - think she will, she is still reeling from the schock that they start before 7!!

For us, C was born 17 Sept, so in September 2011 she will get funding for 5 half days a week at nursery but not a place at a school nursery - that's fine by us, it'll cover private nursery fees. Then in Sept 2012 she'll get the place at the local school nursery - 5 mornings a week. Then finally Sept 2013 she'll start school full time. She will always be one of the oldest in her year. I think when she's 3 and gets funding but not the place, I'll up her days at nursery to 4 a week to give nana a break [secretly hoping there'll be another one on the way so nana can prepare herself to help out again.....]

As i said, that is Wales. I think England is a bit stricter.

And totally about the CB changes announced today but then I though of Hopefully's day today and I'm not so cross anymore.

I didn't listen to the CB changes, but I can imagine that any change there will be hugely controversial. I assume they're planning on scrapping it for higher earners?

A little bit of success today - we know the process we need to follow and have had some vague legal advice from insurance helpline (despite DP realising half way through the call that we're not actually covered for legal fees with our house insurance!). We're hoping to speak to a solicitor this afternoon, who will hopefully be able to give some more specific advice about DP's appeal. Thankfully FIL (who I don't like, but am prepared to swallow my feelings here!) has offered to help pay for solicitor.

Wishing you all the best Hopefully and so glad you don't have to worry about legal fees.
In 2005, when DP was made redundant and they tried to wriggle out of paying his redundancy pay, I was so so glad we had legal cover through the house insurance. we also used it in 2004 for a dispute with the previous owner of our house - they funded a barrister for us in court and we won.

I'd highly recommend it as it costs us nothing as we have high value contents insurance, but even if you have to pay it's something like £2 a month. You never know when you'll need it.

PS you were right about the CB. Grossly unfair to those stuck just over the 40% threshold when compared, say, to a family who have 2 working parents earning under the threshold but may have a combined income of £80,0000. I may even be better off going to 4.5 days a week - saving tax and getting CB back....must ponder it.

ugh...great.

Dh earns £48k. I dont earn. I will lose nearly £180 per month now they are taking CB and WTC off me.

Unbelievable.

A family with 2 parents earning less than £44k EACH will still get CB!!!!!

Really dont know how we will manage.....

The CB stuff is crazy. Unless dh gets a high flying job with quite a bit more money we'll be ok for now.

mrsa good that Wales offer that overlap but odd that it's only for a few days of birthdays.
You're lucky that you'll get funding from next Sept too. I think ds2 will miss out on it then & won't get it till Jan even tho he'll be 3 before term starts.
meglet what you said was right but a lot of schools this year didn't do staggered starts so everyone strted together. And I think I read on a thread on mn that next year all schools will have to offer full days for everyone from the very start.

I didn't know about legal cover on house insurance, will look into that.

Dh appeared home at about 2 to watch the golf, good job I was actually doing somethng useful & not sitting on my bum!

mrsa are you sure about the funding next september? I'm sure its the term after they turn 3, so the 15 hours free won't be til Jan 2012 i'm afraid.
DD is an April birthday, so she will start school in the January rather than the September as that seems to be how they do it here. Some schools the after CHristmas birthdays do half days from Sept, others like ours they don't go in at all until the January.

Oh bum, need to get DS up and collect DD.

I agree that the CB changes don't seem very well thought out. I'm many, many, many thousands of pounds off earning £44k but it's not a huge, salary is it, higher than most but not stupid money (depends where you live though I think)? And as for screwing it up for people like becaroo .

I just met some friends and one of them said her DH sometimes goes over £44k with overtime so they will have to make sure he keeps under it or else it's a waste of his time doing it.

There are so many threads on here about it the moment .

hopefully Glad to know you have made some progress and your FIL is helping .

More not-too-awful news: DP has had v brief conversation with solicitor who reckons, based on initial information, that even if DP were guilty of everything they've accused him off, it still wouldn't be a sacking offence. He's going to look in more detail and speak to us tomorrow, and DP also has an appointment with the employment specialist at the CAB tomorrow. Feeling a bit less black than I did earlier, so maybe it won't turn out too horrifically

Am amazed at CB thing - I don't understand how it can be so expensive to do it on household income, when CTC are based on household income? Surely they could merge the departments or something? [knows nothing about politics]

hopefully That sounds hopeful?

Re: CB....I realise a lot of people will think that £44k is a HUGE salary but I have not worked since having dc so we have been a sole income family for 7/8 years and we get no funding for ds1 and his Home Ed. Everything we do for him/with him has to come out of our own pocket which has cost more that we initially thought (silly things I didnt think of like I use so much more petrol now etc)

I am livid about this. My CB is spent on MY CHILDREN which is the whole point surely?? I really hope we dont have to stop ds1's activties He would be so upset.

What hope is there for our generation?? By the time we are 60 there will be no welfare state to speak of or it will be modelled on the US system where you have to be somewhere well below the poverty line to qualify for a tiny handout I can see my dh having to work til he is 70 which is awful.

I really hope the members of the cabinet who had their free university education and any universal benefit they were entitled too enjoyed it