Malcolm Tucker's election briefing - how have I missed this???

[catinthehat2]

MArch 12th

MArch 19th

Don't be drinking coffee near your laptop screen, ya hear me?

'This guy couldn't make a king out of a two-piece Duplo "Make a King" kit without putting the arse on the head.'

Brilliant, thanks for the warning about beveredges near the key board.

Very good

Anyone remember 'Alastair's briefing' column in the Telegraph that Armando Iannucci did? That was always very funny.

March 26

"at first they came for the Blairites and we did nothing, then they came for the trade unionists and we did nothing, so when finally they came for us there was no fucker left to brief against"

Thanks for posting the links.

"We don't want the public to think that to get you out of No 10, Cracker is going to have to be called out of retirement to reason with you through a locked door as you squat on the cabinet table with no trousers on."

Oh bookmarking for later when DD's aren't distracting me. Brilliant.

2 April

Best yet IMO -

"Curious George, the albino test-tube love child of Mr Burns and Miss Havisham"

Mmmm, Malcolm Tucker.

Sorry, have pathetic pregnant-woman crush on MT. Love that column.

The Creme Egg thing made me lolol! Slight crush here too....

9 April
The best yet.

"We need to get to the people who only hear the rumours. Bottom feeders who get their views via the quotes from the models in the Daily Star. ... People who count to 11 using their 10 fingers and their head and still get it wrong. This is who we have to get to via the debates."

You can't miss the latest one chaps