Secret documents procured by WikiLeaks have revealed that in 1994, after Liz Truss called for the abolition of the monarchy at the Liberal Democrat Party Conference, and her unique blend of ambition detached from common sense, restraint and reality was noted, she was called into a secret meeting with covert surrogates for Paddy Ashdown. Her mission direct from Paddy, which she accepted, was to infiltrate and destroy the Conservative Party from the inside so that the Yellow Bird could rise in its place.
Liz dedicated 30 years to her secret cause, telling no one the truth. She was a deep cover agent. Those few who did know at Liberal Democrat HQ, thought her mission complete when she persuaded the Conservative faithful that she was their gal, and then destroyed the economy in their name delivering her "...truly Conservative budget" as the Telegraph called it. They issued a cease order at that point. But Liz would not stop and could not stop. She thought her mission incomplete while any Conservative MPs remained in Parliament.
Liz went rogue. She stopped responding to her handlers and started hanging out with far right figures. She peddled unhinged conspiracy theories and threatened the UK with a comeback. Phase two, is now in full swing and she will not stop until every Conservative MP is swept away. Of course, the President of the Liberal Democrats will disavow both Liz and her secret mission, but those who know, know. And I am here to celebrate the most successful UK politician of our times. God bless the Mad Queen Liz.