Something to think about: remember that General Election where David Cameron beat Ed Miliband? Way back in the midsts of time? Back when we all still used coal and iPhone 6s? Well today that five year term is up.
In a alternative timeline we’ve just witnessed an election campaign fought by David Cameron as incumbent Prime Minister with one of either Jeremy Corbyn, Andy Burnham, Liz Kendall or Yvette Cooper as Labour leader; The word “Brexit” means nothing; ex-MP and ex-Mayor of London Boris Johnson hosts a quiz show on BBC4 where you have to make an obscure Latin phrase out of Scrabble tiles and quinoa; Carrie Symonds is not a name anyone knows, she’s just a Sloaney woman married to an investment banker called Giles; Harambe never died.
And finally, as Britain wakes up on polling day and we wonder if David Cameron will win a third term as PM, no one in China or anywhere else ever thought to eat a bat. It’s the 75th anniversary of VE Day tomorrow, we all have a day off work to celebrate and it looks like the weather will be nice. Who fancies a trip to the beach? Or a pub? Or anywhere really.... everything is going to be open!