To think some posters need a "reality check" re. views on benefit changes

[lesley33]

I have some concerns about some of the proposed changes to benefits and how these may adversely affect people. So this is NOT a thread about that. But I am getting increasingly fed up at some of the frankly ridiculous reasons some posters are giving against the proposed changes. Examples include:

1. That children 12 and over will be traumatised if both parents work - even if second parent only works 20 hours a week.

1. That a parent with children 12 and over shouldn't have to commute up to 90 minutes each way to work. Far from ideal I know and if someone is on low wages this might not be affordable. But perfectly doable.

1. That childcare is impossible to get for teenagers. Ignoring the fact that many parents, myself included use a combination of kids home alone and afterschool activities.

AIBU to think some people need a reality check? Plenty of people with children already work, many with both parents working full time by the time their kids are teenagers. Plenty of people have long commutes, struggle with childcare, etc. Things might not be "ideal", but these are things that many many working parents already do.

Actually, is that possible? I was kind of joking, but now I'm wondering

I would love to have a disabled child too.is there such thong as specialised cm's?

Thong?? Thing!

That £50 is per child BTW. SO £100 a day for two dc. Over 5 days, that is £500. Of which Tax Credits will pay £210. Leaving you to find £290 out of your NMW wages of £228. . THAT'S possible.

Not going to be a popular view but if the government is telling people that a parent cant stay on income support once a child is past a certain age then stop having children you cant afford childcare for.

think there is, but you would end up having to charge so much due to not being able to have many(dd would need 1-1 at most times, that it wouldn't be viable for you and no parent would be able to afford it. plus you would have to have a lot of training

cantspel Wed 25-Jan-12 12:52:43
Not going to be a popular view but if the government is telling people that a parent cant stay on income support once a child is past a certain age then stop having children you cant afford childcare for.

umm peoples circs change, unemployment, divorce , death. sn , ill health.
live isn't set in stone.

There ARE a few specialised SN childminders. But they charge 2-3 TIMES what a standard CM does. And they VERY often won;t take SN DC above 11yo, because it is harder to look after a 5ft2 teenager with autism having a meltdown that it is a 3ft toddler with Autism.

Take it from someone who knows.

And it's NOT just about whether YOU feel your dc AND everyone else's should be perfectly capable of looking after themselves at 12yo. If anything happened to that child while they were alone, Social Services would be DUTY BOUND to investigate whether they were mature enough to be left at home alone, and whether you were neglecting THAT child by doing so. It's all VERY individual, and a lot down to luck that nothing ever happens. A lot of people aren't prepared to take that risk.

huntycat - I know it applies to all ages of children. And many parents can't afford the childcare available. I said quite clearly that I have concerns about the cap and that there are individual circumstances that will make it very difficult if not impossible for some families.

But 12 year olds can be left alone. And I doubt very much ss would take any action - they would be obliged to investigate, but it is extremely unlikely anything would happen. I don't know the current situation but I know 14 years ago SS locally refused to pay foster carers babysitting money for children aged 12 plus (for foster parents to attend meetings) on the grounds that 12 year olds are able to be left alone.

I work with challenging families and I can tell you that frankly some shocking situations dcs are left in do not lead to any action by SS. I honestly think you posting that SS would take any action is scaremongering and tantamount to the scare health and safety stories we read.

Sevenfold....that's a shame. There's a real need for it too.

ILT!!

Where've you BEEN? Ah, it's lovely to see you - we've missed you!

No life insn't set in stone but many of those sitting on income support with several children will have had at least one of their children whilst on is.

If you dont believe me go and read the martin lewis benenfits board and see the number of posters asking what more they are entitled to claim now another child is on the way.

But my 11 yr old will be 12 in 15 weeks...I don't see how anything will be different then, lol

I'm not on benefits btw, other than child benefit and I manage to fit things in round school and my DP, but if he wasn't here, I genuinely don't know how I would manage to work full time, I've looked for solutions because jobs have come up that I wanted to apply for and I've been left with - I will have nowhere to put either DS or DD in the school holidays, one can stay at home, what do I do with the other?

AND people CAN become single parents or unemployed or have their dc diagnosed with a disability or be diagnosed with a disability yourself AFTER you have had your dc, you know, cantspell.

And still be subject to this piece of legislation.

it is also down to where you live imo.
if you live in a nice safe area. where you know your neighbours and so on, leaving a 12 yr old alone might feel ok,
if like me you live on a HA where the neighbours are not all nice and there are a group of bigoted yobs around, you won't feel it is ok.

lesley - you juggled your shiftwork with childcare by calling on the help of your DP, family and friends.

If everyone moves to follow the jobs and to get cheaper rents, they won't have that support network available.

No one, other than those whose partner earns enough to enable them to stay at home, will be around to help out with childcare.

All the grandparents will be working because we all have to work longer.

And you still didn't answer about leaving a 12-year-old overnight. Do you think that's ok? Hunty has given you very good reasons why not.

cantspel - if we put you in charge there will be no one left in the country to worry about a deficit as the population will die out. If you don't have children unless you can afford the childcare, no one will. To use full-time childcare from the age of 1 until they no longer need it (in my case 13) will cost £80,000 per child. Yup, of course we can all save sums like that/

sevenfold - That is fair enough. When my kids were small we lived in a very rough area - drug dealers openly dealing at the end of the street for example - and I wouldn't have felt ok to leave them home alone.

Although in general I think it is ime overprotective parents in "nice" areas who are more likely not to want to leave their dcs home alone.

I was quite sympathetic until I read on here during my 12hr NMW nightshift someone was moaning their income after housing costs was going to drop from 1800pm to 1200pm.

And then I just thought diddums.

People on benefits shouldn't ve the same quality of life as someone who works.. thats is just life, and fairness!

I work nights, my husbands has 2 jobs, we live 70 miles away from my family because this is where we could afford a house, we havent had a holiday in 3 years.. I have precisely NO money left at the end of every month, no savings, no pension. Why should someone who doesn't work have the same quality of life as me.. let alone better

I think it is because the parents leave their kids alone or don't give a shit, that we have this problem here.
oh and the worst family, yep working parent as it happens.
so not all down to people on benefits.

"Although in general I think it is ime overprotective parents in "nice" areas who are more likely not to want to leave their dcs home alone."

Yeah, cos people who live in "nice" areas just give more of a shit about their children don't they?

sunshine - I have said that of course some parents won't have access to cfhildcare or won't be able to take shiftwork or leave their dc alone. There will always be individual circumstances. But to say stuff like a parent can't take a shiftwork job because there is no childcare for shiftworkers is ridiculous. Some parents won't be able to take a shiftwork job and if I was a single parent i wouldn't have been able to get childcare for 4 dcs for the whole of a Sunday. But many parents can sort out childcare and do.

My daughter didn't get her autism diagnosis until she was 16. If these rules had applied then, we would have been up the creek without a paddle. She's 18 and still can't be trusted to come home to an empty house.

shirley - No they don't give more of a shit. But perhaps they are more likely to see their dcs as babies when they really are not. I wasn't saying thsi was a good thing being overprotective by the way - I think it is a negative thing.

But if you are income support because you cant work because you are looking after a disabled child the rule changes dont apply

Who the changes will affect
These changes do not apply to you if you receive Income Support for additional reasons. For example, if you:
have children who are entitled to the middle-rate or highest-rate care component of Disability Living Allowance
get Carer's Allowance
have a foster child living with you
There may be other reasons why these changes do not apply to you. If you are not sure, ask your Jobcentre Plus adviser.

Gah, I see my rant isn't really relevant here.. That'll teach me for posting what's been on my mind for the last few days in a fit of fury without really reading the OP

Carry on!

I don't want to leave my 11 year old at home alone - he's a dreamy kid who will quite probably set the house on fire one day.

I do it but I'd rather not actually, that doesn't make me over protective.

Anyway I'm only lurking here waiting for ILT to come back