I was asked to leave Church yesterday in the middle of mass

[dillydally]

as dd was being boisterous (not having a tantrum but not sitting demurely on a pew either)
She is 23 months old (just) and the priest stopped mass and said "I think its time for that child to leave Church".

If anyone wants to know why christian religions are dying, it is because the young are not welcome in church. You apparently have to be a mute pensioner to be part of the congregation.

I think you're right TwinSetAndPearls ! Catholic priest don't know children, and they don't know women... but they think they do!

Have to say, please do kick up a fuss and get this issue noticed in your area. I am Catholic and my church even let me BF my 16wk old DD during Mass, while my other two DDs play or look through books. Children are actively encouraged to make noise and be part of the service. Children are innocent they don't know how to be disrespectful. After all God said children go straight to heaven!

If I were you I'd go back to Mass there and confront the priest (well prepared speech, quoting bible ) if he does that again.

All the best.

this is horrible.like everyone has said-no wonder people are leaving the church.
got to say our priest is fab- when we started going with the boys he said to us not to worry if they made noise- children are the future of the church etc. he also said that if anyone objected to the noise they were welcome to leave! Cof E though- wonder if that makes a difference?
just read this back and realised i have said 'the boys'. when we started going there was only one boy! and he was a bab!

also just read 3mummy's comment-i b/fed ds1 in a sikh temple once ( with the blessing of whoever was in charge!)

long time no see alexsmum, hope all well

I am sorry to read your story. How positively insensitive. During the school term our church has a Children's Liturgy class in the basement but during the holidays especially ALL children and their various temperaments are fully welcomed. (A parent might OPT to wander to the back with a screaming baby but otherwise children are allowed to be children...)

Perhaps you should find a new church but I would suggest a letter to the priest directly first explaining how you feel.

In 1999, while visiting my in-laws for Christmas we attented Midnight mass at her church (a family tradition but clearly not in her community as our children were the youngest in attendance). Our DS was 2 1/2 and DD was 9 months. From the moment we walked into the church we were met with strange glances and eventually the priest approached us to tell us that there was a crying room at the front of the church. He spoke with my mil for a few brief moments about other matters and he must have 'casually mentionned' the crying room about 3 times before my mil snapped back with a flippant: "Yes, and if you don't stop your moaning, perhaps you should head there yourself!" He was gob-smacked and took a few moments to compose himself. DD was beaming at him the entire time and DS was sitting beautifully in his dad's lap watching all of the people file in.

I can honestly say that this is the only negative experience I have ever (nearly) had at church and we have attended a vast number.

Poor you! I am truly sorry. I just know that I would have left in a dazed confusion and never returned. Had it not been for my mil that Christmas Eve I would have left then as well.

dillydally that is outrageous! I am a Catholic and now attend Church of England services (long story as to why - suffice to say i was married in a C of E Church and sons and DH both of that faith. My Church falls over themselves to get children in to church. They have a seperate area in case they kick off, they are welcome and positively encouraged to come. They have special famiy services etc. I have to say that I have found the C of E to be way more tolerant than the Catholic Church in general which is why I now practice this faith instead of the one foisted upon me for 20 odd years. I believe so strongly that children should be actively encouraged to feel part of the service and if some of the congregation don't like it well tough. They have evening masses and they can always go to those. But for the priest to behave like that, well it leaves me speechless.

Our vicar does that!! My ds1 has sn, yet she humilated us by commenting on him standing up too much in a service.

Then she complains there are no kids there!

Our Rainbow unit's average attendance at Family Service is....

1 Rainbow, and she leaves Monday.

Even the school gave up with her.

That is shocking! I don't 'do' church but my mum and dad do and take dd and never had a problem. She's one of the only 3 kids under 5 there but they put up with anything - she usually walks up to the Rev or the speaker and just stands and stares at them or gets up on the stage too and wanders about and they couldn't care less. Sometimes they disrupt the whole service while they play with her for a minute then have to remind themselves they're supposed to be preaching! Think thats how it should be tbh. They do cart them off to sunday school in another room but just because its more interesting for them and gives the parents a break, not because they're not welcome. Without kids and families churches would be dead already, no wonder they're dying!!!

Wow Wobblynicks, sounds great!

I went to a wedding with a vicar like that. We had been so indoctrinated by our vicar that we left kids at home, assuming they weren't welcome (big spat of kid free weddings here too- don't get it, supposed to be about family aren't they?)

Anyway, we regretted it as kids ran around happily (Bride and Grooms DD was 3 , 4 days younger than our ds, plus grooms gradson was there at a few weeks and loads of friends). Vicar loved kids, bride and groom had clothes pulled etc during vows by kids- didnt care! It was a wonderful day! Even though it was the hottest that June and I was 39+5 pg!

In the church I go to there is a room at the back of the main church hall where the young children congregate and then a room just off of that where young people aged 12 - 25 meet up, including me, i'm 21. A girl, La'Teecha brings her 18 mth old son, D'ante into the room with her and last week a lady in her 60s, a regular pastor in the main adult church, came to lead our bible studies. She walked in the room, took one look at D'ante, who was very quietly nestled in la'teechas arms and said in all seriousness, 'I do hope he isn't going to cause a fuss or you are gonna take him out'. He never ever causes a fuss. Just lays in his momma's arms all the while or goes to sleep. I was really shocked and upset that this woman said this to one of God's children, who has always been welcome in the youth church, whether he been quiet or screaming the place down.

It sounds like a lot of mums out there are angry. But how about being considerate of others who are following the mass, and of the priest who is saying it? True, it was discourteous of the priest to draw attention to your child's noise - but you must have been aware of it. Why didn't you take him/her out and rock her to sleep/nurse/whatever? Not everyone wants to listen to crying babies.

Welcome to mumsnet MrsMouse. How old are your children?

lol at mrmouse my vicar would go well ape at anyone if they said that to anyone in the congregation. hes got 3 young kids of his own the youngest is really noisy.

Was the baby crying? I thought she was being a bit boisterous (as befits a 23 month old!). No wonder congregation sizes are at an all time low.

Does your church have a creche or Sunday school at all, Dilly?

just one (so far)... she's 3 1/2 months, and i have to admit that churchgoing has been difficult since her birth. we feel so embarrassed when she cries, and everybody around us is concentrating so hard! However, she usually quietens down when my husband takes her for a walk outside, or rocks her in her chair. I'm not saying that it's unnatural for a child to cry; only that it's a problem easily solved, and not worth leaving the Church altogether over.

But in dillydally's case her dd wasn't crying. Getting a 2 year old to sit still for an hour is I'm afraid not always the easiest thing to do. Rocking to sleep or nursing probably doesn't solve the problem I'm afraid.

That's awful. My mother's always told me a story that demonstrates how welcoming religious people can be to children. When I was a toddler, my mother took me to see the nuns at the convent where she used to go on retreat (CofE). Apparently I went haring down the aisle, aiming straight for the altar cloth, but the nuns just smiled tolerantly and let me tug it!

I hope this nasty little bully has his come-uppance.

If I were you I'd change churches and find a more understanding priest. What an insensitive man! Fancy saying that to you in front of everyone; how rude!

I am not a regular church goer, and in fact i have'nt been into a church in about 20 years, but when we were in town last week ds, 3yr 8mths said he would like to look inside the church, so i said he had to be quiet and we would have a quick look inside. I was amazed to find they had a little section been made at the back of the church for a children's play area with toys, books and jigsaws inside, they had just turned some of the pews round and made it into a little play area, It is quite a big church so they have the room to do this. And the vicar who takes the sermons there used to be the keyboard player in the 80's band "The Communards. Pretty cool church. now everytime we go into town ds ask to go in the church.

how shockingly rude of him. yes, write and complain to his boss. the priest at my old church has a gift for children and adults. really really makes all feel welcome. Even when MIL said she was divorced, and apologised, he said oh no, sometimes we don't make the right decision the first time. unfortunately I now live 9 miles away and last sunday went to the nearest RC church. another story for another thread which I will tell tomorrow as want to vent my spleen but I ought to go to bed now.

Sorry to hear what the preist said...that is horrible