I was asked to leave Church yesterday in the middle of mass

[dillydally]

as dd was being boisterous (not having a tantrum but not sitting demurely on a pew either)
She is 23 months old (just) and the priest stopped mass and said "I think its time for that child to leave Church".

If anyone wants to know why christian religions are dying, it is because the young are not welcome in church. You apparently have to be a mute pensioner to be part of the congregation.

This is truly disgusting and not at all what I would expect.

In my church we have a creche, and sunday school for the older ones, but a child is never excluded from the service if the parents want them there.

At my brother's wedding a few weeks ago, Jess was the youngest - being 10 months old and I was dreading her sitting through the whole service. She laughed, she giggled and tried to sing along with the hymns and all i kept thinking was "people are going to be really p.d off".

After the service, I appologised to my brother and SIL, and they LAUGHED in my face!!! Said it was nice to hear her enjoying herself and made them feel more at ease.

I then spoke to the minister who took the service - an old friend - he used to take sunday school when i was a nipper! He was fantastic.... said he really enjoyed Jess's little outbursts and found it hillarious when DH said "shhh" and she shouted what sounded like "NO!"

Im pleased your mum has written a letter Dillydally because it needs to be addressed. It is God's house, not his. As others have said, it is depressing to see congregation numbers dwindling, but is it suprising when the Priest can't even allow a slightly noisy child in the church?!

Sorry, i realise i have raned here a little bit, but I am tempted to write to this Priest myself!!!

Listmaker, is the church you mention in Bishopston? Just wondering... don't answer if like me you are paranoid about your anonymity!

dillydally, I'm appalled at your priests behaviour . We go to the childrens liturgy mass at my Church and the priest is absolutley fantastic. Your mum was completely right to complain.

Listmaker

You are right he was out of order, so very out of order,

Was just making the point re noisy toys, not noisy children.

No PinkFluffPudding (great name btw!!) it's St Patrick's in Redfield. Are you referring to St Bonadventure's in Bishopston? Funnily enough my bf lives near there and we may be moving there soon so my dds may go there and I'm thinking of getting back to Mass so that dd1 can do her 1st Holy Communion there. My bf reckons they are quite laid back at St Bon's - certainly the Christmas Eve service was complete chaos (a nativity that all the kids could join in on and dress up for - about 30 Marys and Angels!!)

Do you live in Bristol then?

i thik u should name the church and all the mumsnetters that are in the area should turn up with their children see if he tries to get rid of all of them

Yeah! I'm a fellow Bristolian! I was referring to St Bonaventures - have only heard good things about it - don't worry! - and was thinking of going along there sometime as it's closer to me than the other church which i (occasionally attend).

i have just read this thread and am absolutly outraged.

I am a Salvation Army officer with 4 of my own two under 2 1/2 and i would love for our church to be full of children wandering round. Although i take mine out when they are being disrubtive and really noisey, but that is because we have an elderly congregation.

over recent months we have had another mum with a one year old been attending and she just turns the empty seats around and makes a play pen, brill idea till my ds escapes under the chairs.

some have moaned about taking seats up but seems the most we get in the congregation is 35 and we could seat 100 i dont see it as a problem.

so far we have managed to keep them off the pulpit when either of us are preaching but i would never ask anyone to take a child out i would work the service around thm.

if i were you i would def. complain to the bishop.

good luck.

the children are our church now not the future church

starshaker, love your idea. i know a group of mothers once did a sitting protest in one of the main chain coffee houses when one mum was told to leave for bf by the manager. so through a parenting website, a group of mums turned up and bf and the manager had to apologise in the end.
mummy power!

dillydally, really feel for you - how mortifying. I used to go to mass at a lovely big church where children ran around and let off a bit of steam and no one seemed to mind. The church I currently go to has a younger, stricter priest who obviously finds it very difficult to concentrate with noisy children and every week the bulletin reminds us that noisy children must be removed. I hate it, feel unwelcome even at the family mass & constantly fret about my children kicking off!!!
As soon as I get school forms signed for dd after Christmas I'm off to a different church.

Still no response to my Mums complaint letter either.

Most churches I attended as a child expected you to be quiet, there was even one where the priest always warned mother with babies/toddlers that the children were wlcomed to run around in the patio should the mass become a bit boring for them. I suppose that I'm so used to this that everytime DS starts singing happy birthday when he sees a lighted candle I feel like running to the door, no matter how kind and considerate is the congregation, no matter that they are so patient and lovely with children. Has the priest from my previous church recently moved to yours???

I'm angry in your behalf, church should be a welcoming place for all the family and acting in that way would only scare people off. But in a way I'm not that surprised, a freind of mine aproached her church to ask about getting married in the place, as her boyfriend had got a job in another country they planned to get marry in two months time so she could go with him, and she was asked if she was getting married in a hurry (=being pregnant) I doubt she ever set a foot in that church again...

I dont go to church that much, but the church I go to is lovely for kids, its the place I got both my dd's christenend and at the back of the church they have a play area with lots of 'quiet' toys. In fact whenever new parents come to the church I think its the job of the church regulars to point this area out, also the vicar often says how he likes to hear young children during the service.

We got a response from the arch bishop - well a flunky - saying he was looking into the matter of me apparently being treated discourteously.

I think they have missed the issue somewhat - it wouldn't have mattered how nicely he asked me to leave, what matters is there is nowhere for children to go in that church and hence they are cutting off a vital part of the community

Just in case you are interested in the response.

what a shame they missed the point, will you be writing to them to let them know (about cutting off a portion of the community)?

dillydally,told this story to my mother.She was horrified (like all of us) and said when she was inchurch a few weeks ago,a woman was about to take out a fretting child,and as she stood up,the priest stopped what he was saying,pointed dramatically and said
'Do not let that child leave this church!'

Everyone laughed and she sat down.

Glad they had the courtesy to respond.

I am voting with my feet. I think they have no desire to address the issue. Perhaps I would be better off going to the Catholic press?

But yes,you're right.They've missed the point completely.

dilly I think this is dreadful. at our church (highbury) there's a mass which is aimed more at families than the others (some get taken out to special lessons with the sisters,and then come back for communion) but I have never seen or heard of someone being asked to leave at this mass or the other "quieter" masses. I would only do so if my dd's were really playing up or it was something sensitive like a funeral (tbh i probably wouldn't take them anyway). i agree they have missed the point.

Dilly - don't think the Catholic press would be interested - they tend to be very loyal. Perhaps you need to write to Cormac again saying what you've just said in your post - or email him. I've had 2 very quick repsonses from Bishops recently when I've emailed them (and from them - not some henchman/secretary)

please follow this up again. I drive 5 miles to go to a child-friendly RC church rather than the one in our village. Only went to one mass at the village church and didn't bother going back as old biddies were giving evils to young baby who was just cooing and gurgling but proceeded to gossip all the way through communion Even DD (4y) commented on the "rude ladies".

This is shcking behaviour from a priest, we have a soundproofed section at the front of church which families can use if they are worried about children crying. There is space to colour, play and relax and being at the side of the altar the children do not feel left out.

I tend to sit either at the back of church so dd has space to spread out and is near other children or in the chapel at the front so we can see what is going on but she does not disturb other parishoners. I have never been asked to do this but i feel more relaxed knowing that dd is not disturbing people.

We have a family mass which includes a children's liturgy in another room for the first section of mass.

Our priest has always made it clear that children and families should feel welcome in church and if a child does make a fuss he makes a point of reassuring the mother.

My daughter was picked up in the mikes in mass singing your filthy and gorgeous and we have been welcomed cack with open arms

welcomed cack [grink]

a freudian slip perhaps??

On a more serious not I think some Catholic priests are scared of children as they are the unknown. I know of a priest who retreats in aqward fear when children approach him and is mysitfied as to why mothers bring young children to mass.