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Original poster

I was asked to leave Church yesterday in the middle of mass

122 replies

dillydally · 06/06/2005 09:39

as dd was being boisterous (not having a tantrum but not sitting demurely on a pew either)
She is 23 months old (just) and the priest stopped mass and said "I think its time for that child to leave Church".

If anyone wants to know why christian religions are dying, it is because the young are not welcome in church. You apparently have to be a mute pensioner to be part of the congregation.

OP posts:

slug · 06/06/2005 12:07

Outrageous. I can remember my little sister being so proud of her pink pussycat suit (complete with ears and tail) that she insisted on wearing it to church. She sauntered down the isles, plonked herself at the foot of the alter, preened and purred, playing to the gallery the whole mass. The poor priest found it so difficult to keep a straight face. He even included a special prayer for 'our pink furred friends' in the prayers of the Faithful.

That's the way to treat children in church, as the special individual creatures they are, not as irritant. He should be ashamed.

Gwenick · 06/06/2005 12:10

There are few tutters amongst the elderly, kindly congregation at our C of E church in the burbs.

We do have a 'few' tutters at our church - be we tend to 'let them off' as their average age (the tutters not the congregation LOL) is about 85 LOL

joash · 06/06/2005 12:15

, although not a fan' of organised religions, the last time I was in a church was to attend my neices christening. GS was about 9 months old and acting like most 9 month old baby's. The priest actually came over and asked if he could hold him - he did and continued with his service. A fabulous guy, GS loved it..and him. We sat and had a cuppa with him after and GS was in awe.

Perhaps he should give lessons to your priest.

Original poster

dillydally · 06/06/2005 12:18

@ slugs sister

OP posts:

Marina · 06/06/2005 12:33

Lovely slug how nice.

LipstickMum · 06/06/2005 12:39

That's awful, I'm really sad for you. AS my dd (2yrs) gathers confidence at church, she has wondered off once, right up to the vicar during a 'talk' and stood there stroking her robes looking up at her as she talked! Our vicar didn't bat an eyelid.

I'm so sorry your priest is so intolerant and has no idea of the value of having young church goers.

pixiefish · 06/06/2005 12:42

dillydally- am totally shocked that a so-called Christian would turn anyone away from church. Even criminal can claim sanctuary in a church (not that i'm suggesting that your dd is a criminal in any way shape or form)That man should be embarrased to call himself a servant of Christ

purpleturtle · 06/06/2005 12:52

i'm really mad about that . We go to a very relaxed church - bit too relaxed sometimes! We were at my cousin's church yesterday for a christening and the vicar made a point of telling us to ignore any noise the children made and carry on. As I said to my BIL, that pretty much sums up my parenting!

Obviously, that priest has no close experience of small children - bout time it was allowed ...

csa · 06/06/2005 12:56

dillydally

we have had a few tutters too from the more elderly but since it was a family mass, loads of the parents gave them glares. haven't seen them since - maybe they realised that if they wanted a peaceful mass, they should chose another one

personally, i don't like the room at the back of the church idea. too much like putting them away so they cannot be seen or heard.

Oil · 06/06/2005 13:10

Just wanted to add support dillydally - I would have been totally cowed by your priest and would have scuttled off, red to the roots. My parents love taking my ds to church and give me detailed feedback on what he threw/shouted, where he wandered off to etc - apparently he is a big hit there, and you and your dd should be made welcome at your local church too. Best of luck finding another place to go.

Gwenick · 06/06/2005 13:13

i don't like the room at the back of the church idea.

Not at all - ours in the choir vestry - which is 'shut off' from the church by a curtain! They can go in there and play (come back for the end of the communion) (Sunday school is in the church hall so a bit 'further' away) they can still be 'heard' (and occasionaly 'seen' when they wander back into the main church) but it DOES allow parents to enjoy the service (ie actually listen to the service!) knowing that their children are safe and close by.

Both my DS's (4.5yrs and 18 months) adore the creche and I actually think it's a 'better' idea than a 'space' at the back of the church for them to play in. We had that at our previous church (which we attended for 4 weeks) and it simply WASN'T suitable for the little kids to play in.

Gwenick · 06/06/2005 13:14

Oh was going to add earlier, I wonder what the priest would make of my kids.

The organ is DIRECTLY opposite where they come out of the creche and to go up to communion they're literally the otherside of the console - so can see me VERY clearly. I frequently get shouts of "IYA" and "Hello Mummy" across the church while people are taking communion as they spot me

kama · 06/06/2005 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

amynnixmum · 06/06/2005 13:19

tigermoth · 06/06/2005 13:26

just adding my support, dillydally. Do you or your mother know any parents who attend church regularly with (or without) their children? I wonder how other familes view this priest.

I am so glad your mother wrote that letter. Do let us know what happens next.

pinotgrigio · 06/06/2005 13:27

This is EXACTLY why I'm refusing to bring my DD up as a Christian. Double standards anyone?

LGJ · 06/06/2005 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Listmaker · 06/06/2005 13:40

Our priest is just like this too. I had been going there for years (way before I had kids) and one day was there with my 2 dds - one about 3 and one 1 at the time. There was no children's liturgy that day and they were wandering around a bit (the older one anyway) but we wer right at the back and they didn't make any noise. I didn't see any other kids misbehving and at the end of the Mass he went MENTAL!! I'm not kidding he was soooo angry, saying he was not an automatom (sP?!) and couldn't carry on with all the disruptions and how his mother took him and 2 siblings to Mass every week and they never made a move or sound and we couldn't control our kids etc etc. I honestly wanted to die. I was so nearly in tears because I was convinced he was talking to me directly.

I didn't go back for ages and I wrote to him saying how out of order I thought his ourburst was etc etc. He wrote back stating other incidences at the Mass that sounded totally insignificant to me. No apology at all though.

I haven't really been back much since and lost all enthusiasm after that. He isn't old and is very charismatic but very strong on some views. I have heard that he has stopped Masses lots of times since to suggest people take kids out that are making noise. We are told not to bring any noisy toys and to take any kids that make a single sound out! There is a narthex (porch type area) where people can go but you feel so out of it out there and there aren't many chairs.

It is always PACKED there though because it has the best primary school in Bristol attached to it so people turn up despite his horrid anti-kids ways (let alone if you DARED to let a mobile ring - mh my God he goes MAD!!). But my kids don't go there and he's ruined it all for me.

This was years ago now and still winds me up!!!

katierocket · 06/06/2005 13:41

ONly just seen this and proabably repeating much of what has already been said but FGS how awful. I really can't believe that - there is so much wrong with him asking you to leave that I don't know where to start.

Ulysees · 06/06/2005 13:45

this would never happen in our Church, I'm so so sorry for you. Agree right to your Bishop. Sorry haven't got time to read all the thread but doesn't your church have a creche?

ELLJAY · 06/06/2005 13:51

Dilly dally, while shocked I am not surprised. I also live in mileend and stopped taking my children to mass for nearly 4 years. We got fed up of churches (and we tried a great many) with similar attitudes and/notices telling you to remove any child that makes a noise. Most RC churches have 3 or 4 masses on the weekend and not one which is for familes so that those with small childen dont feel stressed everytime one of them makes a sound and all the OAPs can avoid it! We have started going again to the priory in Bethnal Green where they have children's liturgy and are much more child friendly. Mind you my youngest is now 41/2 and we stopped going to mass when he was 6 months!

LGJ · 06/06/2005 13:53

Listmaker

That sounds like a disgraceful situation.

However there are plenty of soft toys and books and sticker books and pens and pencils out there, and I am afraid I would agree that children do not need to bring noisy toys to church.

Ulysees · 06/06/2005 13:55

I meant write to the bishop but read more and see your mum wrote for you. EEEk at my grammar

Listmaker · 06/06/2005 14:03

Oh I agree LDG and never did bring noisy toys to church and my dds were really well behaved on the whole and everyone there loved seeing them as I'd been bringing them for so long etc etc. If they ever started wailing I took them out straight away. I really don't believe in kids making loads of noise in church but he was so out of order that day and I just felt I'd been a really good parishoner and didn't deserve public humiliation like that. He could have had a quiet word or something.

This WAS the family Mass btw!!!

Gwenick · 06/06/2005 14:04

let alone if you DARED to let a mobile ring - mh my God he goes MAD!!

Wonder what he'd of thought of our vicar USING her mobile phone in church yesterday, as part of the 'visual aids' for the sermon for the family service

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