bloss
Asd you know, I have found discipleship costly. For it to be worthwhile it has to be. And I strive to love God with all of me. I'll never get there, of course, but I try. And I then obey the second great commandment, which is that I try to love others as I would wish to be loved. God's love is so huge...everything that is good in the world has come from that love: justice, family, peace, happiness...I could go on. I'm prepared to admit I may be wrong about gay marriage and divorce. But if I am wrong it is not because I want to disobey God but because I am obeying his commandment to love others as I would want to be, and because I believe his love to be wider than any book can ever tell us. If I am wrong I will pay the price.
TBH I know where you are on the Anglican communion. I really think the church may need to break before it can be healed and made whole again. But if God is in it, the healing will happen; he creates, he doesn't detroy. But there are some who have threatened and bullied on this issue (sorry, Bloss, but here it is the conservatives) to keep it together. And it's clear that a significant number of the primates who have called for repentance (inc. Rowan Williams IMO) are in favour of gay bishops; they are just (rather patronisingly) waiting for the conservatives to come around to their way of thinking. So what happened this week is yet another typically Anglican fudge that will delay the issue for a few more years but not prevent the implosion.
BTW that call for public repentence really pissed me off! What would it mean? ECUSA and the chruch in Canada wouldn't mean it, it would be so hypocritical of them to do so. So why are they being called on to lie? To satisfy the pride of those who disagree with them?
Re suffering, I don't believe in original sin, so therefore the Fall doesn't answer the question for me as to why tiny, innocent babies suffer. And I find the 'whole of Creation is fallen' arguement just a bit pat. Certainly it would offer me scant consolation. However we try to explain why there is suffering, we can't. I am with Rowan Williams on this when he argued that we believe in a merciful God because this is what we do: in the midst of it, we carry on.
And it's not a case of only loving God if he is how I want him to be. I love God because I know that he is ever-loving and merciful, and does not cause suffering; he is wholely good, the rock of my life, my companion from infancy, and no matter what I do in my life I will never be able to come close to serving him as well as I should.
I agree with the quote that you have used from Proverbs. I do fear the Lord - but maybe we have different views on what that means. And I do absolutely believe in discipline (and I'd like to try for wisdom ) - in fact before dd1 put in her surprise appearance I was considering either joining one of the new Celtic religious communities or becoming a Benedictine oblate - and it's something I expect I will return to once my brain no longer feels like cotton wool through sleep deprivation.