Any Witches Here? Part 21

[speakout]

Just settling into the new place, plumping the cushions and opening the windows. Welcome to n everyone, newcomers, old friends, the curious.
Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.
A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration..

Isnt it funny how life throws a challenge at you just when you start to hit your stride?! Having just said about resting more often, life has thrown some really busy weeks at me and I am exhasuted! Ive been going to bed at decent times despite the later evenings (yesterday I came home from a meeting at 9pm and didnt dare sit down for fear I wouldn't get up again!). I'm hoping next week won't be quite as mad.

How is everyone else getting on?

CailleachGhlas I feel the same. Just as think there are clear skies ahead more life challenges seem to crash in.
I feel that rest, pause, living softly is essential whenever there is a gap in the clouds.
It is my birthday today and so far I have been giving myself gifts. I slept later than usual, had a long soak in the bath done a little work, a little shopping, and now a quiet spot at home with a starbucks and a box of gulabjamun.

My mother's carer just phoned to say my mother didn't hear the buzzer when her escorted shopping service came to pick her up. My mother is hard of hearing, but refuses to wear her hearing aids.
So carer asked if I could take her shopping- that is not going to happen- but Mr Speakout has offered to go shopping for her and drop it off.
My mother hasn't realised it is my birthday today- and really that's ok.

My friend is picking me up this evening to attend a sound bath- perfect birthday treat!

Happy Birthday for yesterday, I hope you enjoyed your sound bath! It seems to be a common issue, hard of hearing people not wearing their hearing aids! Bless Mr Speakout, he sounds like a keeper!

Happy Belated Birthday! The rest and Soundbath sound good. I sympathise with the no hearing aids, my late mil was the same. There were some very frustrating and worrying one-sided phone conversations. The soundbath sounds wonderful!

These lighter mornings, I'm trying to sit outside with my coffee. Yesterday, apart from an asthma check, I had nothing planned, so sat in the café opposite the surgery in the sun, then bumped into a friend and had a long chat, chilled out and had a nap. I obviously needed the rest!

Thanks for the birthday wishes.
It's been a soft weekend, my daughter took me out for lunch on Saturday, we went to a little pup a few villages away, neither of us had been before, but the food was amazing, lovely friendly staff, and my daughter gave me a few very thoughtful gifts. It is so touching when loved ones show that they know us. Not in ostentation or expense, not in showey balloon displays, but in ways that show they listen and care. ear theit
I managed the gym- weight training on Saturday. and my intermediate yoga yesterday.
I don't know why my mother- and it seems other elderly people don't wear their hearing aids. My mother has 3 pairs now, all work well, but she doen't seem interested. It really impacts our conversations, and she rarely hears the phone. She lives in sheltered housing, and many people seem to wear hearing aids, so I can't think it is a stigma thing. Ultimately it is her choice, but it impacts those who care for her.

I plan to sit down today and plan/book some activities. There is a new ( to me) soundbath centre I want to visit- it has hammocks, so sounds very relaxing. There are a programme of women's circles coming up, and a few options for beltane. My diary and I need a meeting.

I have been worm holing into the idea of egregores, my current therapy has led me to this topic- as a way of understanding my internalised patriarchial hard wiring. It's so fascinating- and a little scary. I know it is an idea in Western esotericism, and it does seem to bring form and clairty to my own understanding.

Anyone else enjoying foraging as spring slowly arrives? Today I made a nettle and orange cake which has turned out surprisingly well. It should have been lemon but I didn't have one so had to improvise. I've also been picking and freezing wild garlic to use as pesto.
Next up, dandelions for " honey"

Hedjwitch your cake sounds delicious. well done for foraging. I should do more, life gets in the way, but thanks for the inspiration!

Such a beautiful spring day here, every day brings new changes to my garden. I bought a tiny diddy rhubarb two weeks ago and didn't have high hopes, but it is gushing forth with new stems and leaves. Rhubarb is such a nostalgic fruit, like gooseberries too, but I love the sharpness of flavour.
There seems to be a rash of local activities announced this week, so I have been booking a couple of yoga workshops, two women's circles, I have vouchers for massages too, and booked meetings/lunch with friends. I love having tings to look forward too.
I am back from an emotionally intense counselling session, emotional expression- the therapist was in tears too, she is so lovely.
But I am now feeling a bit tired and drained, but that's OK, just a sign of emotional work.
I have pulled a bag of peanut sate sauce for dinner, I have smoked tofu, I will see what vegetable treasures my fridge will provide. I love a spicy sate sauce, but I am the only one here that enjoys it, so I make for myself abd freeze in individual servings. A little gift to myself.

Gifts to yourself are so important. I started doing this at Christmas (as we had a quiet one) and putting away a little something to get out each month. I had stopped, but think I will restart it. The anticipation over small things is joyful.

I'm going to a new Vinyasa yoga class tonight, to support a new (to our yoga studio) teacher. I have also booked the Women's Circle for Beltane, it was great fun last year.

I love the sound of the nettle cake @Hedjwitch . I have a friend who's great at foraging and would really like to do more.

Blessed Beltane and Full Moon! I hope you are all well.

I have been having a busy week, and am working tomorrow. I have been enjoying this podcast when I've had time.

https://open.spotify.com/show/1XAWfFBR7F3dA196gqzcXP?si=Ng3aeTIQTNOdMaGj85qUFw

I absolutely love folklore, myths, mysticism and magical stories.

Thanks for that quirkychick, I am always looking for things to listen to while I work.Life has been softer lately,and I have been giving myself permission to lean into that, resting, reading, living slowly.
I am just back from visiting an antique shop 10 minutes from my home. I have seen the sign many times, but always driven by. Turns out a huge sprawl of sheds on the outskitrs of a farm, including repurposed horse trailers, portacabins, even an old double decker bus packed with antique furniture, mirrors, curios, some huge and very old- fitting for a stately home. The prices were incredibly low too- not the usual hiked up city prices. I was looking for a small business at the site- a wood reclaiming and joinery business- called " Broken Wing" - how cute is that, but it was closed today for holiday Monday. I am looking for a piece of timeber for my new room project.
Instead I wantered around the antique barns, and picked myself up a beautiful ornate wooden hand mirror, with beveled glass- a steal at £2.
I find such places intriguing, wonderful smell, of old wood leather and mothballs.I think I have clairaudience, I can hear chatter emanating from the items, so many previous owners, so many stories contained in the items. many dating back for 100 years or more. Snippets of conversation, laughter, crying, singing, becoming louder if I touch the items.
I am back home now with my find, it always feel a little odd buying a pre-loved mirror, as if other people have trails left imprinted into the glass. Buying a new mirror is different somehow. But I examined it with my heart before buying, it felt warm to the touch, and my face was reflected in a soft tone.

I hope everyone is enjoying the light and warmth of thgis new season.

Evening sisters. Haven't been around much recently as DH's health is deteriorating quite noticeably. He has congestive heart failure. I am trying not to be melodramatic but all my senses tell me that he is getting ready to pass.

I'm so sorry to hear that @Hedjwitch I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers

Hedjwitch I am so sorry to hear that. I will light a candle for you both this evening to bring strength and calm. X

@Hedjwitch I am so sorry to hear that. I will also light a candle for you both.

Thank you all. Much appreciated. He has a hospital appt on Friday. Just now he is asleep. He sleeps a lot. He has agreed to start wearing an emergency alarm for falls or if he needs help. I did a Tarot reading telling me to live in the moment and two cards representing guides from beyond the veil. I'm not a great Tarot expert so maybe I misinterpreted. But I feel that everything is telling me to be ready.

Take some comfort in the Tarot reading Hedjwitch. This exact moment is all we ever have.
It remains important to nurture ourselves in difficult times. Living on eggshells and cortisol is heavy to bear. Try to find a little space outside of this situation, even if only for a few moments, have some tea in the garden read a book, watch a movie. Having small points of self nurture will not only fill your own cup a little, but make you a stronger support for your husband. Do you have any other support? Family or friends? Carers or nurses visiting? And remember we are here too, we are a bunch of wise women who are no strangers to life's storms, so lean in when you want to chat.

Such wise, lovely words @speakout especially:

we are a bunch of wise women who are no strangers to life's storms

When everything was falling apart for me, taking gratitude in small things and learning not to try to control outcomes, were most helpful to me. The latter was a hard lesson!

Thank you. Home from work now and he says he made himself a mug of cocoa today and was so tired put he went back to bed. That's all he's done. I made dinner which he has eaten and is now back in bed. This is no life!

Hedjwitch i hear you ! You have a lot on your plate right now, life can be so heavy.
You have work, a home to run, practicalities of dealing with your husband's ill health, dealing with your own emotions at this difficult time, and trying to keep your husband's spirits up too. And no doubt many other balls to juggle too.
That's huge, and heavy, and maybe feels unfair.
We didn't sign up for this! I somehow thought life would become easier, quieter at this middle age. Not a bit of it. If anything it gets harder! Helping younger ones navigate adulthood in a challenging world, ailing older loved ones. often with no-one to support us.
I am in the middle of 3 days of doing stuff for my family. I had a two page list of things to do, buy, sort out. My mother was given a diagnosis of Alzheimer's yesterday, and it is my adult daughter's birthday tomorrow, I have just delivered a " birthday kit" to my mother as I knew she wouldn't remember, I dropped off gifts, cash, a card, wrapping paper, scissors, sellotape and new dispenser, pen. My mother can wrap the gifts and whhen I picker her up tomorrow she will be able to give my daughter the gifts. But my mother didn't like any of the 3 types of wrapping paper I bought.....
Add another ton of admin, work, and lots of other shit I started to feel really resentful walking around Tesco. I finished my shopping quickly and came home. I know resentment is corrosive for me and one
step away from a physical manifestation - pain or illness.
So I have dumped the shopping in the middle of my kitchen floor, not sure when it will be put away !
I have made myself an orange and ginger juice, now curled up on the sofa with my adoring cat coiled around me purring while he gazes up to my eyes. I have booked myself a massage for Thursday morning and just about to give myself a little manicure with a new polish I bought. This is ferocious first aid of the fearless type.
I love the idea of painting my nails while my shopping lies in a muddled pile on the floor ! A pause and a protest!

When things are tough it becomes even more important to come back ourselves. To feel that core, allow the grounding, be aware of and curate our thoughts. Choke the rumination, drop the guilt, find some flow, remember we are the centre of our universe- and we are divine. Every act of self care is sacred, no matter how small. Everyday magic, tiny acts of self love, small steps of return, self recognition are incredibly powerful.

@speakout I love the image of you painting your nails while the shopping stays on the floor! It sounds as if you have a lot going on. We had so a very similar issue with my late mil. Nothing was ever good enough and she was very demanding. Ithink there are days when things are so tough.

I've had a busy, mixed day with some interesting job possibilities, SEN Tribunal prep, tutoring. This evening, I'm going to go to Yin Yoga with a friend. This Saturday, we have a belated Beltane Women's Circle, which will be fun.

I hope this new moon brings renewed energy and clarity to us all. I am hoping for a quieter week ahead. How are things Hedjwitch?I have been thinking of you over the weekend.
Work is busy right now, so today will be heads down, but I love what I do.and make sure that I work in a flow state whenever possible. Then a trip to a post office, a little food shopping, no yoga unfortunately, but I will have a little stretch out. I am toying with the idea of doing a christmas fare or two to sell my creations. There is a very old Abbey a stone's throw from my home, now a rural college, and they run a christmas fare over two days in late November or so- it is usually heaving with buyers. I have helped a good friend in the past a few times, at these events, when things have been super busy for her, and I have done it alone, so have some idea how to set up and run the stall.
The run up to Christmas is always extremely busy online for me anyway, but I think it would a good thing to do- to actually speak to buyers, get real feedback etc. I have given quite a bit of thought to the design of a table top, I would love to make such a space extra special.
I am still considering, but vendor places fill up fast.
Any advice would be welcome!

Off to get my morning started, I hope magic finds a way.

@speakout I also try to work in a flow state. There's a Headspace pack for productivity, which talks about moving from one task to another in a flow state - it's very helpful when you're busy to stop you from being overwhelmed. The Christmas Fare at the Abbey sounds amazing.

Our Women's Circle was cancelled due to very wet ground, but has been moved to mid-summer. I did 2 lots of yoga this weekend, one Hatha to support a fellow new teacher and yesterday a Mandala Vinyasa - which I love, followed by brunch with dp. Today, I have a meeting for dd2 with Learning Disability CAMHS, she at least seems more stable and some tutoring online. I'm currently having a quiet coffee in the garden before my day starts.

Tomorrow sisters, I am escaping for a wee while for my first visit to an apiary to see the bees as part of my bee keeping course. I'm very excited...and a bit nervous.

What a wonderful day!