Trying to be a Christian... any tips?

[HeroicMinute]

I've just started listening to the Hallowed app. The first thing I've come across is a Routines course, which is great for me as I am horrendous time waster, which probably explains why I haven't spiritually evolved.
I was raised loosely Christian and attended the village church as a child. I think I want to replicate this traditional experience, but with some slightly more intellectual content.
I've been thinking about Christianity for a few years, and have tried a few different churches, but nothing's stuck.
My reasons for not sticking at a church:
-I can't handle a church band, it all seems very nice and worshipful but it makes me cringe a bit. I love a choir.
-I am very opposed to modern identity politics and didn't go back when a vicar started talking about structural racism in the church.
-I stopped going to an evangelical church because the curate was sweet and excited about his Christianity but did lengthy sermons suitable for children with no analysis or intellectual stimulation.
-found a curate at another church a bit creepy.
-found the sermon in a big popular church on 8th October to be a bit antisemitic.

You get the picture; I'm a bit of a PITA and I'm obviously putting up barriers. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a particularly intellectual person but I am curious and I sincerely want to be a Christian. I don't yet believe properly, sometimes I do, well I suppose I usually do, but with varying levels of conviction.
Any tips would be very gratefully received.
Thank you in advance.

Pity so many people aren’t loved by the church then isn’t it? It’s almost like the orthodox Church is not following the teachings of Christ.

@Kdtym10,

I’m going to use the analogy of Blake. When I first read Blake I loved the beauty of the words, I knew they meant something. But then I studied what others said about Blake, especially his prophetic works and the words became even more alive. Then I went to the source of the influences on Blake and suddenly my own imagination became aligned to his and as I read his words my imagination interwove with his words, a true unity that I would never have been able to reach by simply finding his words beautiful but incomprehensible.

I remember very similar experiences with lots of texts. However, when I started to pray to God to fill me with the Holy Spirit and lead me, suddenly more texts came alive. I went through a phase of testing this and reading more and more difficult stuff. 😁 I did eventually reach a bit of a ceiling with maths, so I don't think at that time this was my particular calling! 😂 I think it was just my brain was beginning to join up a few dots, tie up some loose ends, metaphorically speaking. It was rather a frantic time and I did feel a bit wired. I am learning to relax and pace myself bit better now. 😉

We love our brothers and sisters in the way of familial love, because we have the same Father.

And we love our enemies (while not closing our eyes to who they really are) by blessing them, praying for them and doing them good. In time they may even be converted and become members of the family of God.

One thing we must do, as those who love God and love our neighbour, is to treat others as we would like to be treated.

If we would not like to lied to, we ought not to lie to others. If we would like to be told the truth, we should be willing to tell the truth to others.

Often we find ourselves hated for this, but then the world hated our Lord, and we cannot expect anything else.

It's just people can have difficulty being on the same wavelength as God without actively connecting with God and therefore might think and act sub-optimally and start habitually thinking and acting sub-optimally.

I actually agree with this, because it allows for the possibility of people who are not actively connecting with God (through explicit Christian faith) but are nevertheless on the same wavelength and acting and thinking optimally. That position is one that respects other faiths and none.

The problem with that position is that it is human beings taking on the mantle of the arbiters of 'the truth'. And that is for the most part not a thing humans can do, never mind do well. The truth in the minds of many who call themselves believers is all about condemning others and behaving/legislating accordingly.

I’m not really sure what you're saying here. That you prayed to God to make you better at maths but it wasn’t that successful?

Is This an example of loving your brothers and sisters?

@Kdtym10

I’m not really sure what you're saying here. That you prayed to God to make you better at maths but it wasn’t that successful?

No, that wasn't my prayer. I was seeking closer unity with God through my prayers and then I noticed as a knock on effect of that my understanding of many different texts suddenly increased exponentially. I got a bit over excited and tested this. Except I hit a ceiling with maths.

I think that happened before my time.

No, no, no, no exceptions.

Maybe check out the cult of Pythagoras - numbers were sacred.

Actually, if you read the Hebrew part of the bible Gematria is embedded there.

And there’s the problem! The orthodox Christian’s have repeatedly made exceptions, often to the extent of torturing and killing in all manner of gruesome ways, their neighbours. As I was saying orthodox Christianity has a repeated issue of racially following the teachings of Jesus.

@Kdtym10 I know vaguely of some of the traditions with sacred numbers. Why I got so excited. But maybe numbers at that kind of level is just not one of my gifts. Who knows, time will tell...

Thankfully we have God’s wonderful provision of the scriptures which are profitable for “doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16)

Of course no one is obliged to accept what we say. And if they refuse to hear our message, we “shake off the dust from our feet” ( Matthew 10:14) and move on.

You, as an atheist, have placed yourself in the camp of those who reject our message. That’s your choice. I won’t be seeking to engage you further.

Well Jesus happened a bit before your time too. Do you dismiss Jesus out of hand.

he’s a more modern example www.theguardian.com/world/2003/aug/17/religion.childprotection

@Kdtym10 people have killed others in all sorts of gruesome ways since people have been around, I think. Not exclusive to the orthodox Christian church. Look at what archeologists dig up.

Are you accusing me of something?

But apparently Christians should love their neighbour and that’s all it takes , So on that basis can we say that the church is not Christian because it doesn’t follow this mantra.

But apparently Christians should love their neighbour and that’s all it takes , So on that basis can we say that the church is not Christian because it doesn’t follow this mantra.

@Kdtym10, you forgot about repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption.

Why would you think that??? I’m saying the church doesn’t really love its neighbour which apparently is the simple definition of all it takes to be Christian. I referenced the Albegensian crusades, which were apparently irrelevant so I referenced something more modern to show how seriously the church treats the words of Jesus. HTH

Ah So saying “sorry” after murdering millions (not that the church generally does that) makes it ok. How far to you extend that?

I mean, I’d love to see the Pope on his knees begging forgiveness for the slaughter of all the people the church has murdered, ostracised and caused pain to) but it still doesn’t mean much unless they are willing to change their entire doctrine.

I can’t answer for those who purport to be “the church”. Surely it’s evident from this thread itself that not all those who claim to follow Christ actually do so!

There has been some interesting reading on the thread (a shame that much of it has nothing to do with what the OP asked). One more tip for the OP: keep away from Talmidaism and similar. 🍿

@Kdtym10

Ah So saying “sorry” after murdering millions (not that the church generally does that) makes it ok. How far to you extend that?

I said repentance. Not simply a confession in a 'sorry not sorry' kind of way. That does not mean we don't need to protect society at large from people habitually caught up in cycles of violence and abusing others. Rather it means we have a hope the perpetrators can be rehabilitated.