Trying to be a Christian... any tips?

[HeroicMinute]

I've just started listening to the Hallowed app. The first thing I've come across is a Routines course, which is great for me as I am horrendous time waster, which probably explains why I haven't spiritually evolved.
I was raised loosely Christian and attended the village church as a child. I think I want to replicate this traditional experience, but with some slightly more intellectual content.
I've been thinking about Christianity for a few years, and have tried a few different churches, but nothing's stuck.
My reasons for not sticking at a church:
-I can't handle a church band, it all seems very nice and worshipful but it makes me cringe a bit. I love a choir.
-I am very opposed to modern identity politics and didn't go back when a vicar started talking about structural racism in the church.
-I stopped going to an evangelical church because the curate was sweet and excited about his Christianity but did lengthy sermons suitable for children with no analysis or intellectual stimulation.
-found a curate at another church a bit creepy.
-found the sermon in a big popular church on 8th October to be a bit antisemitic.

You get the picture; I'm a bit of a PITA and I'm obviously putting up barriers. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a particularly intellectual person but I am curious and I sincerely want to be a Christian. I don't yet believe properly, sometimes I do, well I suppose I usually do, but with varying levels of conviction.
Any tips would be very gratefully received.
Thank you in advance.

[ElleLeopine]

Being a Christian is not about which church you go to or the style of worship you participate in.
It's about having a relationship with God, and how that bears fruit in your life.

[Notquitegrownup2]

Keep looking at different churches. Start reading too. You might start with The Reason for God Timothy Keller or Mere Christianity C.S. Lewis. Or try watching The Chosen www.watch.thechosen.tv. Plenty of food for thought there

[HeroicMinute]

Thank you @Notquitegrownup2
I read Mere Christianity a couple of years ago and loved it. I'll put it on the pile to read again.
Reason for God looks good. I'll read that now.
I'm half way through The Chosen. Thank you!

[HeroicMinute]

@ElleLeopine I do understand that, but I need some help, and I'm not getting there by myself. I also like the idea of the ritual of church, and the community around it. I don't really know anyone in my position. To my knowledge I only have one Christian friend, and she attends one of the churches I've rejected. I know it sounds silly, but I'm trying.

[ElleLeopine]

@HeroicMinute have you tried an Alpha course?

[Datafan55]

All churches are different. I go to an evangelical one, with different speakers - some really challenge us.
Equally some will have different outlooks (eg the CofE church near me is quite gay friendly) (no church turns anyone away, but 'it's hate the sin and love the sinner').
I do occasionally go to a CofE one if there is a choir/choral evensong on - less challenging personally, but the beauty is worship of a different kind and soul-enriching. I know what you mean about evangelical bands being cringey -if you are not feeling it as much yourself, it is (other times it's a perfect fit). But again, different bands even in the same churches will vary - sometimes our evangelical music is fairly staid!
Most towns have got a fair few churches of different denominations tucked away. I have walked past one in my town for years without realising! I tend to visit several depending on what mood I'm in.
https://www.findachurch.co.uk/

But the human tools (churches) are just a way of joining together, and it's your relationship for God that is the centre.

One thing I find useful is a structured prayer each day (eg thanks, apologies, 'be with me tomorrow when i do x'). Just get talking to God and you will then start to hear his voice.

And above all, welcome :-)

[Datafan55]

@ElleLeopine Ooh yes, Alpha.
Generally food, a film, and convo about beliefs.

[Mischance]

I honestly think that the best thing you can do is to simply live your life based on the doctrine of kindness. Let this dictate your every action. Nothing else really matters.

Every church has its own flaws - you don't need this. Just be kind, that is all.

[Pinkbonbon]

Do you accept christ as your Lord and saviour?
Yes? Great, then you're a Christian. It's really that simple.

The rest of it is simply icing and sprinkles.

I'm not a massive church fan either. Christmas sermons make me feel really uncomfortable for a start. You'd think christ never grew up. It's creepy baby worship.

And lots of the music is just awful, depressing drivel. sometimes when I hear it I think if God is watching, he'll be changing the chanel around now. Maybe to the black gospel churches xD at least those are fun.

I'm not sure if I'm a good Christian. I focus on trying to be a good person. To do good where I can. And sometimes I just have a wee chat with God. Like at night before I sleep. I ask him how he's getting on. Tell him to keep up the good work and not listen to the haters. Talk about my weaknesses and ask for strength to do better.

As for the bible, I freely admit I pick and choose. I believe everyone does. But in my reasoning, it was written by man, and many many years ago. I think it has some great messages and can be a source of hope and comfort for many. But I think it prudent to exercise caution regarding blind faith to every sentiment it holds.

Stick to your ten commandments and do good where you can. Check in with the boss from time to time. Find a minister who seems genuine and kind and not power hungry and narcissistic. Be careful in churches as they can attract both the very good...and the very bad.

If in doubt, think 'what would jesus do' and strive for that. But remember, although he was kind and compassionate he also, was not a pushover and took no shit.

[OldPodge]

May I suggest having a look at Quakers in Britain website? Going to my first meeting was by far and away the best thing I ever did.

[ZenNudist]

I can recommend the bible in a year by Fr Mike Schmitz. You will find it on the Hallow app or Spotify apple and amazon and audible. That's a really good thing to start on 2nd Jan. Ignore all the introduction podcasts and dive in catch up on day 1 and 2 and off you go!

Lectio365 app used to be great. Daily mindful reading of the bible. Evangelical/CofE source called 24/7 prayer group.

I'm Catholic I don't know if you'd like to try a Catholic Church? Homilies tend to be focused on the bible and being more like Christ. Hymns are most often traditional. I find Church meditative. Community spirit and quality of music varies from church to church but I've never been to a Catholic church with a band.I agree that finding Christian fellowship and making time for God in your week is important. I don't think you are being a PITA. I think there's a reason you are still searching for a spiritual home. Keep trying churches.

Edited as my spaces disappeared

[cerisepanther73]

@HeroicMinute

Cassandra Mack on YouTube Internet

not sure if you have heard of her?
She is very popular as she is so Good at what she does,

She is down to earth very relatable warm funny inspiring preacher, who speaks about all kinds of modern dilemmas that one can encounter in the workplace, at home with family and with friends,
she speaks quite often from her own experiences,
But also speaks in a way that you feel that she is like a good friend or wise sage auntie who is on point about things in life ect.

She also obviously talks about verses from the bible and what they really mean in relatable warm way, you feel like she is allmost talking to you one to one,
not just on screen..

[CrazyDaisy0]

Christianity Explored would be a good place to start. It would help with finding new Christian friends too ☺️

I do think finding the right church is a bit of trial and error - even for lifelong Christians!

[Autumcolors]

Ask your Guardian Angel to help guide you.
Get a blessed miraculous medal and wear it around your neck - I can send you one if you message me with your address. It’s a Catholic medal which is recommended to wear to help you grow in your spiritual life as you are under the protection of Mary the Mother of Jesus wearing Themis medal.
Try saying the rosary - there are instructions online and probably on the hallowed app.
The Catholic Church - the original Christians - have an introductory programs called RCIA - you can even do it online https://www.catechismclass.com/catholic-rcia-classes.php?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhc-sBhCEARIsAOVwHuS2YYgRm_0XJ4HbA_lF26HriizmazsWNwusOm7wSNSv_FHx4Cu8qeYaAomJEALw_wcB

[Pinkbonbon]

Pretty sure 'guardian angels' and 'blessed medals' would fall under worshiping false idols. Which is specifically and expressly forbiddin in the bible.

But then again it'd a grey area I suppose as the catholics have statues of Mary around that they pray too ect...

Personally i prefer just using the direct line. Assume God's around at all times and only pray to him and put your faith in him. You don't need medallions or trinkets to channel him. Anyone saying otherwise is probably trying to make a buck or two outa you.

[HeroicMinute]

Gosh thank you.
There are some really helpful suggestions here.
My (extremely challenging) mother was raised Catholic and consequently I have not considered Catholicism, however interestingly as my mother's influence wanes I am feeling a little drawn to it. Funny, I only just realised that now.
I will look at Rosary, and also bible in a year on Hallowed; that could be a great daily ritual. Thanks so much!
I'll look at Cassandra Mack and Christianity Explored.
I'm so grateful!
@Autumcolors you are so kind. Thank you. I think this would be too much for me at the moment, but I will bear it in mind.

[Mistlebough]

OP if you are not a fan or the worship band style have you tried worshipping at a cathedral? Inspiring buildings, symbolism and beautiful choral music might suit you better? Don’t give up as you just need to find the right fit and be able to have integrity in what you take part in.
I got a bit overwhelmed by all the church doctrine etc and have simplified my faith to Love God, love others as myself. I try to live like this every day and sun my life in that direction. Hope you find your way forward in 2024.

[HeroicMinute]

Thank you @Mistlebough I love Catherdals but hadn't really thought of worshiping there. This is a lovely idea.

[Pinkbonbon]

As opposed to someone who comes on to a thread like this to insult other people's beliefs and kick them when they are down you mean?

People are quick to use the term 'evil sky fairy' as opposed to self reflecting on the evil they do themselves.

Sure, organised religion has at times proved to be a dangerous thing. But believing in God gives many people strength and peace, especially during tough times.

I believe there's some sentiment about taking the giant bit of wood out of your own eye, before criticising the splinters in the eyes of others.

[Whataretalkingabout]

I suggest you keep trying on a regular basis to find a church where you will fit in. It is worth the struggle. Maybe attend the same church a few times. Try even denominations you would never have thought you'd be interested in. Church of England, The Presbyterisn CHURCH, Church of Christ , the Episcopalian Church, Roman Catholic Church. Etc.
Visiting all these will help you to define your values and what is most important for you. Good luck. A church for you is out there!

[ZenNudist]

@cerisepanther73 I'm going to give Cassandra Mack a try. Sounds good.

@Pinkbonbon Catholics ask Mary to intercede for us with her son Jesus. That's why we pray to Mary. The same is true for Saints who are also said to intercede for us. Not all Catholics have medals or whatever.

OP the Rosary.org is a good website for working through the Rosary. Very Catholic of course. It's a multifaceted prayer where although you only say a handful of prayers over and over you work your way through the 'mysteries' of the bible. E.g today is Tuesday which is sorrowful mysteries: agony in the garden, scourging at the pillar, crowning with thorns, carrying the Cross and crucifixion. Tomorrow will be glorious mysteries: rising from the dead acension into heaven, coming of the holy spirit, the assumption of mary and the recociliation of Mary with Jesus in heaven. Each decade of the Rosary is a different mystery and each prayer in each decade you meditate on the mystery. So it's really a form of meditation on the key events in Jesus's life. Combine that with "intentions" and you can pray for people with each decade or prayer. I do it when swimming, or on the way to work or a few decades to get me to sleep!. No need for beads. I just use my fingers and at first followed the Rosary.org as I worked my way through mysteries. It's a good mediation practice.

[SwordToFlamethrower]

My mother in law cane to visit. She says she is a "Christian purist" so she only follows the new testament.

She also says Jesus is a hybrid, half human, half alien.

[Pinkbonbon]

Maybe instead of pumping out the same tired 'sky fairy' insults as if it makes you different and unique (note, it really doesn't, it just makes you a run of the mill every day BIGOT) you take the time to talk to people who believe in different things with an open mind.

It's funny how raging some people are that other people believe in things they don't. I've never felt forced or insulted by someone who believes in something different to me. But the world seems to be full of atheists that have a chip on their shoulder.

You never see people come on here and insult people for not believing a partular Religion. Its always the same tired, 'I know better because I believe in nothing' brigade that have to be jerks.

Wind your neck in!
You're not original.