Who is the happiest person you know, and why are they happy?

[Earlybird]

There is so much in the news about the societal epidemic of anxiety/fear/stress, and the increasing number of people on anti-depressants.

It has got me thinking (and reading) about specifically what it is that makes happy people happy. The happiness I'm thinking of is a deep internal 'way of being' and not necessarily a happiness based on circumstances.

Who is the happiest person you know, and why do you think they're happy?

What do you think are the most important things necessary to simply 'being' happy?

Are there specific qualities shared by people who live meaningful, fulfilled, and happy lives? If so, what are they?

My dh has always been a very happy person.
He is (often unbearably) enthusiastic and optimistic about everything.
He always assumes everyone is nice (even when they're being quite horrible).
He has boundless energy.
He always says yes to everything and would do anything fo anyone.
He loves his job (this helps).
Loves playing with the kids.
Loves looking after me.

He's very shiny and new compared to downtrodden old me

He never overanalyses anything and lets bygones be bygones. No idea how he does it

all the people i know who are consistently happy and content, ar etheones who have a strong faith. whatever the religion, those people that believe frimly in God, seen to be the most content.
i'm not talking about the ones who are necessarily actively involved in propagtng their faith. just the ones who quietly believe. hindu's mulim's christians, budhists, (although i know thye are atheists)whatever.

My mum. She is generally the most good natured and upbeat person I know. Every day is a new day for her. She doesn't hold grudges. She changes what she can, and doesn't worry too much about everything else. She sees the best in people. And she doesn't give a fig about money or material things. For her, friends, family, books, theatre, holidays - good experiences with good people, basically - are what makes her tick.

By the way, my mum is a roaring Atheist.

yes, but atheism is practically a faith in itself. buddhism is atheism.
i think its the 'having faith' in something, anything, part that brings about the contentment.
'have faith, my child'! i know this i smeant to be sarcastically funny, but i always think that if i truly honestly did, then i wouldnt have the constant self doubt that i always suffer form

my dd1

she is the happiest and most content human being i know. shes 5

Dear EB, it's you again. (I think I will have to stop saying that, and you can just assume the particular enticingness of your questions.)

Right, well it's my dd too. She has just had a lovely school report, which tried to explain just why she was doing so well and came up with the slightly odd (but endearing) formula of "contagious positivity" - that is to say, she's an inherently eager and sunny person, and what she does with that (completely naturally, it's not deliberate) is try to inspire other people's eagerness and enjoyment - so, as a basic example, she so loves and enjoys reading aloud with expression that (so her teacher tells me) it's had a real effect on what the whole class wants to do.

The crucial thing about this is, of course, that it's pure virtuous circle. She has fun - she makes others have fun - that's fun for her - she has more fun - and on.

There is sa fair bit of research of that says that people with faith are happiest.

One person I am thinking of, who seems endlessly happy, has a strong faith. She seems to see the silver lining in any bad situation and when she doesn't she never feels alone in difficult times because of her faith.

She also has a sense of humour and can see the funny side of things. Even if she has a disagreement with somebody she will find something to laugh about it in the telling and it takes away the resentment.

I think having a happy marriage or some sort of supportive, loving relationship really helps too.

Is happiness really the most desired way of being though? Or by happiness do you mean contentedness?

It's unrealistic to strive to be happy all the time, after all, it is far healthier to have a range of emotions appropriate for the situation.

I assume the happiness talked of here is really 'inner contentedness' or being at one with ones self and the world.

The kind of qualities lots of children posess.

I don't think you need to have strong theistic beliefs to find this inner contentedness, but you do need to be confident in whatever your life views are. A religious person plaigued by guilt and fear of the afterlife isn't going to be content and 'happy', and neither is an atheist who is empty inside and hasn't found what they are looking for.

I know quite a few people who are 'happy' or content and at one with the world. The thing they all share is confidence, no worries about the future or regrets or guilt about the past, and an acceptance of whatever comes their way, good or bad, difficult or easy. Their outlook on things is always positive, rather than negitive, and they view everything as something that can be overcome, rather than an obstacle that can't be overcome. At heart, they are confident and happy with themselves, they have inner peace and contentedness, their spiritual being is healthy, and this shines through in every aspect of their lives.

The friends I know who are the most like this are humanists, but that's more because I know a lot of them as I am one, so probably not relevant.

It's all about acceptance I think.

this is a very interesting question. 'youknow' your dh sounds fabulous!!

Of course my dd's would have to be the happiest people i know. sometimes i wish i could be inside their heads for a few moments of carefree joy.

i am trying to think about my answer for this, and honestly although many people around me are happy, even very happy, i know very well many of their weaknesses and can imagine that when they go to sleep at night these things bother them more than the happiness/positivitey they express during the day.

so what exactly do you mean by happiness? a light heartedness? general smiling disposition?

what research niecie? And what do they mean by faith?

over my dead body i think i agree with most of what you are saying.

in that sense the only person i know who is more than 90% content with themselves is my best friend from my childhood.

she is the most stable person i know, the key thing that sets her aside from all the other people i know is that she never compares herself to others.

I think children often display this more than adults because they are more focussed on the present, they don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. That's what we need to do more.

It's inner peace, rather than happiness though isn't it?

My mother.

I'd be happy, too, if I had her life!

i think its contentment

has anyopne read 'the road less travelled'? It pretty much explains how to achieve inner contentedness, by living in the now, accepting everything that comes your way, not dwelling on the past or worrying (unnecesarily) about the future. I highly recommend it if you're interested in this topic.

You can only be happy when you realise that you cannot be happy all the time. The unhappiest people I know are forever chasing a feeling of perfection in their life.

Now you are asking - I should name my sources!

I have read it somewhere in one of my psychology journals. It was a while ago but I think it was any belief system. Difficult to say a belief in God as some religions don't have a God as such do they? (I am thinking Budhists but I am ready to be corrected on that one).

I'll try and look it up later.

contentment, yes That's what I meant.

Agree with fairymum too, that's spot on.

So faith in that context could apply to any belief system that you live your life by? So basically confidence in what you do and the reaons why you do what you do or think what you think? I'd agree that having that helps you be content.

I think most people have periods in their lives when they are happy and periods when not. I can honestly say I've only been truely unhappy once (when my parents separated). I also think I am currently the happiest I've ever been even though (perhaps because) I work very hard (don't we all!).

For me attending church (as a child) did not make me happy and I no longer believe in Christianity as such.

What makes me happy is having a sense of control of my life (big things such as a job I believe in, raising a family, fulfilling relationships etc.)

Mind you if you'd just seen me struggling round Lidl with a rowdy 4yo and incontinent 2yo you might not have noticed a happy woman ().

I am thinking that too much ambition can stop a person being contented too. People who are always striving to be better, to have more tend not to be satisfied with the here and now and therefore are not content.

Turning the original OP on its head the most discontent, disappointed people are either those who live in the past (maybe with good reason if something particularly bad has happened to them) or are forever focussed on the future rather than enjoying what they have got now.

so scatty if those things you have control in in your life (the job, family, relationship) where taken away from you would you still be happy or would your happiness go with it? I guess what I mean is, is your happiness dependant on those things?

I think true contentment comes from within, not from any external life situations, and trully content people will still have that inner contentment no matter what is thrown at them in life, and ride through whatever emotions the loss bringsd without it crippling them for the rest of their lives. Does that make sense?

Exactly neicie, you have put it very well in that last post.

Contentment comes from accepting the now, rather than chacing the future or dwelling on the past.