Who is the happiest person you know, and why are they happy?

[Earlybird]

There is so much in the news about the societal epidemic of anxiety/fear/stress, and the increasing number of people on anti-depressants.

It has got me thinking (and reading) about specifically what it is that makes happy people happy. The happiness I'm thinking of is a deep internal 'way of being' and not necessarily a happiness based on circumstances.

Who is the happiest person you know, and why do you think they're happy?

What do you think are the most important things necessary to simply 'being' happy?

Are there specific qualities shared by people who live meaningful, fulfilled, and happy lives? If so, what are they?

The happiest person I know is now dead. She was my mum's best friend and lived her life to the full. When she was slowly dying of motor neurone disease she radiated inner peace and contentment like the sun. She was never religious but when she got ill she had a lot of spiritual healing. She never complained and was always smiling. She embraced her situation and I truly believe her soul is now very high up wherever we go after here.

I don't know how she was like that in those awful years of utter suffering but she was pure happines and it wasn't prozac!

Another lady who amazed me was Muriel. A woman I used to massage in a nursing home. Riddled and crippled with horrible arthritis she was always smiling and happy and she also reminded me of the Sun. I think some people are amazing and full of love for others that is why they are happy because they don't feel sorry for themselves.

yes i see what you mean, however if i accept the scratch for being one, i can now move on. if i accept that i am a certain way, however this way is unliked by me, i now have to work to change that.

agreeably, accepting an aspect you don't like about yourself is very liberating, but the next challenge is making the change, and if making the change becomes hard or impossible, it can be very frustrating. so in a way you may accept yourself, but still not like yourself in a way that you can be content.

if i sound like i'm talking in a loop, that's because i may be!

manuka that's a great point, that people who are happiest don't feel sorry for themselves. I think if you trul;ly accept yourself and your life then there is no need to feel sorry for yourself, that is a victim's perspective of the world and doesn't actually make things better does it?!

dontwanttogetoutofbed (what a long name!!) I agree with your last point, and I think the reason what you described is so normal to most people is because there are very few people who have achieved enlightenment and inner peace, therefore the task of changing that is so hard does become frustrating. A truly enlightened person would fistly not dislike any aspect of themselves, even the bits they want to change, and secondly not become frustrated when the change is hard or takes time, just accept that for what it is. This acceptance would immediately stop the change from being hard. After all, hardship is only a state of mind and the world is only as bad or as good as you persieve it to be.

I think it is very hard to make changes DWGB.

It always involves risk and often involves other people.
You might feel bored and lonely and decide to get a job to use your skills and meet new people but you are scared that you can't cut it in the work place and your kids aren't happy about the after school club.
Do you take the risk to improve your own life or stay at home and risk resentment and depression?
(Alternatively you might want to give up work to look after your kids but DH not happy about the drop in income etc...)

You Know I want to be your husband. This is the very recipe for happiness. I am truly one of the luckiest people I know and I often feel sorry for myself. I do all the things your DH doesn't...I dwell, I analyse stuff to death, and I think critical thoughts all the time.

As for other happy people...I know one supermum that seem really happy and content but who knows...underneath she could be miserable. I suspect she'd never tell you if she was....see over-analysing again!

I think the key is to acknowledge that you always have choices (even if they are difficult ones).
You make a choice then accept the outcome, that way you don't resent or blame others for what happens to you (including your parents).
Robin3 no-one is perfectly happy. Even pretending to be happy can make you happier (altogether now..'whenever I feel afraid, I strike a careless pose and whistle a happy tune...').

I don't think it's hard to make changes scatty!

Risk-taking is something some people don't mind doing, while others would rather not ever have to. You're right though, it's all about acceptance. It's also about being in control and taking complete responsibility for your life. So, for example, if you give up a good job to be a sahm, a content person wouldn't risk resentment and depression, they would accept that being a sahm is their choice, and they can change that if they want to. Content people don't blame others for their feelings, they take full responsibility and control for them.

I think if you're scared of change to the extent that it stops you making changes for the better or helping yourself then you are definately not content or at one with yourself.

If you love yourself then you are willing to take risks to find contentment and 'happiness'.

robin3 I think hte key is not to strive for 'happiness' in the sense of always having a smile on your face, that can be faked, it's to strive for contentment and inner peace. Happiness is an emotion, contentment is a state of mind.

I agree with your last post too scatty, about accepting that we always have choices, and not blaming others.

I think you're right OMDB. Some times things are easy to say but hard to do though. Especially when you risk disappointing others.

so true scatty.

Not being materialistic is a great way to be happy.

I'm usually quite happy. This year has been tough because I've had to learn a lot, and it wasn't very easy. As a result, I had a few very unhappy months.

I feel better now though and have started to think optimistically.

Beofre I moved ot Vietnam, I thought it woud be so easy to live there. I was 23 and had no experience with my job, no experience what it was like for someone with sn to live in Asia, no experience with the people. I did a lot of things I thought were right, but I learned that they weren't. It took a lot out of me.

So I think even the happiest people can break if the situation s very difficult.

Fascinating to think that our genes could play a major part in our overall happiness levels:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7278853.stm