I can absolutely understand not wanting to read through hard times.
It has taken me a long time to feel safe writing down my feelings as a teenager my privacy wasn't respected.
I have written in happy times at points in my life, I kept a travel journal while backpacking around SE Asia for a year- visiting many amazing places in Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia.
But my travel journal was more factual, descriptions of places, train tickets, receipts, pressed flowers.
I also liked to record my perceptions of places, the heat of a volcano, the smells of the markets, the power of a tropical storm, the feeling at a festival, the interesting food I ate. I wrote prose and poetry too.
I someties read through the pages- but these are mostly all happy thoughts.
I am not sure what I will do with my current journals, yes I write of pain, but there are interesting things too.
Yesterday I was writing about female Giants, manifest as the Cailleach and Sansuna, massive earth mothers, land shaping, givers of sovereignty, hugely capable. Striding great distances with an apron full of honey and seeds, often an infant latched to the breast as she works carving mountains and rivers, dropping monoliths. She creates her own reality.
Women have been taught to be small, quiet, kind, submissive, swallow the pain, allow others to determine who we are and even what we think.
The archetype of a giant goddess feels good to dwell upon for me. She takes up space, her footstep matters, she can roar.