Looks like summer is strating to arrive, temperature set to rise this week, this year has raced by.
I had to buy a new fridge freezer yesterday, reluctantly- white good are so expensive. I had a look at second hand ones, but not many around, probably due to the price of new ones. The second hand ones did see smelled a bit funky. I have a super acute sense of smell, very hahdy for buying second hand furniture, I always lift cushions and give sofas and chairs a good sniff. I can tell if furniture has come from a smokers or dog owners home, I can even tell if a toddler has been touching armrests- toddler hands have a special type of sweet/food mash grubby smell.
My eyesight is bad, but my hearing is acute, and of course my spidey senses are finely tuned!!
OH is disappointed that our new fridge freezer won't have an ice machine. Our current machine does, and is plumbed into mains water, but prices for machines that make ice are eye wateringly expensive.
Our current fridge freezer is probably around 13 years old, it was left by previous residents as it wouldn't fit into their new place.
I am being gentle to myself today, slept longer than usual, the past few hours dipping in and out of a soft nurturing dreamscape.
The past couple of months have been full of hospital visits and phone calls, and although my mother has been home for four days, we are still working out a new normal, learning about her new limitations, and of course having carers walk in at random times through the day. The carers all seem so lovely, very patient with my mother, but big loud voices. I guess some of their clients are hard of hearing ( as is my mother) and their big booming " GOOD MORNING! CARER HERE" probably a welcome sound for many.
I try to make myself scarce, thankfully only here for 20 minutes or so.
My mother has made significant progress though, and yesterday got up, showered and washed her hair, dressed, came downstairs then made herself tea and toast without help. She is growing in confidence and ability, so at this stage it is not yet clear how much care she will need. The carers and OT are useful in showing her safe ways to move and work in the kitchen, climb stairs and shower which is helpful.
Being comfortable with uncertainty is a liife lesson we all have to work through.
Sorry for such a long mundane post!
I did want to ask if any of you journal- magical or otherwise. I do keep Grimoires I have done for decades, but new to journalling.
Like a Grimoire or book of shadows I know the best rule is "There are no Rules", and exploring how journalling can help me. I have been journalling a very short while, but when I put my pen on the page it feels like gates being opened. Not a day to day, events or dates- more like a stream of consciousness, ideas and topics come tumbling out onto the page, snippets from the past only relevant to me, repetition, turns into poetry for half a page, a few line drawings, would make no sense to anyone else reading it.
During the writing I enter into the flow, I just allow words to be written without much thought at all, so many ideas just pour themselves onto the page. While I write I feel so calm, my breathing slows, I can feel my heart rate lowering. And afterwards I feel relaxed and serene, as if I have been meditating.
Is this what journalling is about? Do others feel that way? I feel myself already looking to that time today- will be late afternoon or early evening, work and chores finished, a cuddly cat and some herbal tea.
This feels like magic!!