Brought up atheist but feel a pull to something bigger

[saltnvinegarpringles]

Just that really. I was brought up an extremely staunch atheist but always felt there was something bigger. I feel very drawn to churches and I often say a quiet prayer to God, but I don't know who or what God is. I don't feel a connection to organised religion. I would like to explore faith but I don't really know where to start. Anyone else out there like me?

So the old testament should be ignored?

God revealed himself as Jesus. That’s our starting point. John 1:14

So you ignore the old testament?

@saltnvinegarpringles sorry, I forgot to reply to you! I can only speak of the church I attend as I think some ministers have leanings one way or another, but we generally believe in a god of some kind, but not the holy trinity (hence the uni). I know a few certain atheists who come to our services regularly! We regard the historical Jesus as a good man who was trying to spread a good message. He was as/no more divine than each of us is. We are magpies, pulling the best, most useful, and thought provoking parts of other religious beliefs, humanism and philosophy but always with an eye to reason and thoughtful questioning of authority and dogma. We have a lovely Minister who takes most of the services and does weddings, baby blessings, funerals, etc, but we have others from the community to do these services too and who take services either when she is on holiday or just because they have ideas they want to bring to the community. I find our services warm and welcoming (with a great choir!) and full of interesting people and ideas.

@Gubu I think your reply was to me, thank you for the thorough explanation. 😊

@speakout I don't ignore the Old Testament, but I'm sure you already guessed that 😉. Jesus often referred to it in his teaching and is the very fulfilment of OT promises and prophecies.

And the old testament gives very clear indications about the nature of your god. An evil quick tempered murderer.

What is a 'Christian God?' God is God. Jews and Christians and Muslims believe in the same God- just follow the teachings of different prophets. Muslims believe in Moses and Jesus but Muhammed as the final messenger. Hindus believe in one God too but believe that he takes different forms for different things. Despite the rise of Islamophobia and misconceptions about Muslims, Islam is the only religion I know where people follow it in a way that is personal to them. You're expected to adhere to the 5 key tenets of the faith and everything else is an added bonus.

I'd highly recommend you look up Sufism @saltnvinegarpringles. I'm more aligned with that practice than anything else. The focus is on the self and how we develop our own unique relationship with God. I don't adhere to everything in the Sufi tradition but on the whole, I feel at peace with most of its tenets.

Sorry to disappoint you speakout but I'm not going to take the bait.

I am not fishing, just saying it as it is.

You're saying it as you see it @speakout, there's a difference.

I won't condone slavery, homophobia and genocide, no.

Whatever fancy knotwork you use.

*I can't really describe them. I just sort of chat to God. Sometimes I ask for others to be kept safe and happy.

I feel a very deep sense of peace when in a church.
*
I haven't read all of this thread but some of what I've read has been really interesting.

It's always worth pursuing peace in your life, if you've found that in a church then I'd say that's definitely worth exploring.

I've done some wonderful Alpha courses that have been totally informal and non threatening, and I've also had chats with vicars and other Christians which have also helped me with doubts I've had in the past about Christianity and the Bible.

If all that sounds a bit intense then just visiting churches and praying (can be done anywhere) as you've been doing, that's a great thing.

I'd like to add I used to view God as really angry and strict. As I've grown in my faith I've found Him to be just the opposite - patient, loving and compassionate. I wish you well with your searching OP.

I'm not going to explain my reasoning behind why I think you're wrong on those points, mostly because you couldn't give a monkeys about my opinion.
From what I gather you were brought up in a strict Christian-esque sect with only a Bible for company, so your anger is understandable.

Not sure how you know anything about my upbringing.
I was brought up as an atheist in fact, I never attended church at all.

@speakout Just the impression I got, but it's still clear that, for whatever reason, you're very angry with God.

How can someone be angry with something they don't believe in?

@AnorLondo Because everyone deep down instinctively knows that's not true.

How arrogant, to assume you know what's in other people's minds.

I for one do not know or believe in any such thing.

That's just silly.

Not angry with your god - I don't accept his existance.

I am not impressed with the church or religion, which has it's greasy tendrils in every part of society, law, government, education, business, control of women's bodies.

@AnorLondo :

"Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles." Romans 1:19-23.

@speakout For someone who doesn't believe God exists you're very keen to tell people how evil you think He is.

you Make yourself look foolish making statements like that. Please don’t.

like most so-called atheists you’re very angry with a god you don’t believe in!