Brought up atheist but feel a pull to something bigger

[saltnvinegarpringles]

Just that really. I was brought up an extremely staunch atheist but always felt there was something bigger. I feel very drawn to churches and I often say a quiet prayer to God, but I don't know who or what God is. I don't feel a connection to organised religion. I would like to explore faith but I don't really know where to start. Anyone else out there like me?

Many things, the biggest ones being anti-LGB and anti-abortion rhetoric, as well as general patriarchal bias (I don't, for instance, necessarily believe God to be male). And I don't believe in Jesus - that is to say, Jesus the person probably existed, but do I believe he was the son of God who died for mankind and then rose from the dead? No, I don't believe that.

The difference between spirituality and religion is the ability to pass down what your tradition knows and has learnt to the next generation, it’s also about forming healthy communities.

The image of a goldfish being contained by religion while outside religion spirituality is freer hasn’t been my personal experience. I grew up atheist/agnostic and after a deep spiritual encounter with God I became Catholic. Since then I have found incredible depth and beauty in orthodox Christianity. I was so massively ignorant of Christian history and two thousand years of spirituality and I have found most people in the UK are too. People love to make scathing comments about things that Catholic Christians don’t even believe. It’s kind of amazing to me how much respect secular people will give virtually all religions and religious people except Christians and don’t want to accept that anything good in their culture and history come via this spirituality.

I know a lot of people who have done incredible things in their life because of their faith/spirituality, and there are some inner groups within Catholic tradition whose spirituality is absolutely beautiful: the Carmelites, Dominicans, Franciscans for example most of which are completely accessible to any believer. I know so many Catholics with a rich inner life and who make a very positive concrete difference to those around them. They are the most joyful, peaceful and fulfilled people I know.

@saltnvinegarpringles Catholicism at least doesn’t believe God is male, God is not a creature, God is the ground of all beingness, God is pure spirit.

I'm a Christian and in a same sex relationship, I believe in choice for women, I struggle a lot with the patriarchy of the church (bits of it, anyway), I don't believe God is male....
'Christianity' is a big umbrella and there are a lot of different viewpoints and theological strands that fall under that. There is no 'one Christianity' - I think it can hold a wide range of views and opinions.

There’s many western traditions which don’t rely on a traditional view of God/religionlook at Neoplatonic views, some esoteric Christianity, hermeticism, Rosicrucianism. There’s no need to look to the east and arguably easier for those brought up in the west to understand. There’s a god within, your higher self which may or may not be reflective of an external power. You might even find looking up Lavayan satanism helpful (nothing to do with the devil).

You might even find looking up Lavayan satanism helpful (nothing to do with the devil).

I think you'll find the clue is in the name there! @OMG12

Lol- try google it’s atheistic. The Satan bit is largely to shock

I have Googled it thanks @OMG12
What's your personal belief system if you don't mind me asking?

I attend a Unitarian Church. We have people of many religious tradition backgrounds and atheists of more or less staunchness. If you have one nearby, maybe try a service. Or from what I know of Quakers you might find something in their religious practices.

Ah then you’ll see it’s atheistic.

No I don’t mind you asking at all, although my belief system is complicated, probably hermetic as a base set into a broadly Christian framework (which is probably more Gnostic) basically as a glyph or motif (although I value the esoteric teachings of the Bible and other gospels not included in the Western church’s canon) I would view the divine/source as more Neoplatonic (which is basically there is a Source/The All and everything emanates from that) There’s other bits thrown in there too. In short It is basically Qabalistic. That’s because this makes sense to me both intellectually and spiritually.

I believe in the divinity of man which is reflective of the cosmos. I believe in a perennial Philosophy.

But everyone will connect to different belief systems for various reasons, none is 100% right or wrong objectively. Although nearly all have been hijacked for corporeal
power and glory. it’s a matter of finding one that fits you personally (and that may or may not involve a supernatural deity).

@omg Thank you, that's very interesting. My point about satanism is that whether the participants believe in the devil is irrelevant, they are engaging with him regardless.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, 'the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist'.

I guessed that was where you were coming from. And yes, most conventional/mainstream interpretations of Abrahamic religions would hold the view that the devil/Satan/Lucifer (as generally in this context they seem to be used interchangeably) exists in everything that is not God. By their very nature they are dualistic, you’re either for or against essentially. The variations of the phrase “The greatest trick of the devil…” which have appeared, largely over the last two hundred years or so have usually been used when this dualistic view has been challenged.

I prefer to view religions and philosophies how the followers see it and in the context of aesthetic Satanism, he (in a fictional character sense) is seen as the embodiment of rationality, logic etc to be aspired to (in v basic terms, I’m sure someone with greater knowledge here could explain it better, it’s not my path I was merely suggesting it as an option for the OP to look into if they were looking for something atheistic, the Temple of Satan (slightly different) are big on human rights, esp womens rights although mainly operating in the US.

Of course many people view, Satan, Lucifer and the devil as very separate things which are also quite interesting in following through.

I rather like WB Yeats motto “Demon est Deus inversus”.

Who are you to explain other peoples religion to them?

It's a name. There is no satan worshipping involved.

Read books by Rob Bell and Dave Tomlinson for a more liberal approach to Christianity and find a liberal church - either within mainstream Christianity (Church of England might have one near you) or try the Unitarians. Alpha course only if you are up for a very literal interpretation and a Holy Spirit away day with speaking in tongues.

I really like near death experience stories. There’s loads on YouTube. I think they are the closest, most relatable stories about God/Source. Watch the one from Rich Kelley or Mary Neal, they are quite credible accounts from well-spoken, intelligent individuals. But of course there’s many more to browse from.

@OMG12 Yeats was very involved with the Golden Dawn, but I'm sure you know that. We'll have to agree to disagree on the finer points.

@AnorLondo You can dress it up however you like but that's the bottom line. There are different variations of it and some most definitely is actual devil worship.

@Gubu I know about the Quakers but unfamiliar with the Unitarian Church, could you explain how it differs from mainstream Christianity?

I’ve devised my own belief system , I raise my dc by it. I feel religious but didn’t identify with and known religions so I’ve tried to arrange my thoughts into a belief system that makes sense to me

Yes Yeats was probably one of the most famous members of the original Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (obviously no connection with the Greek facist movement who have rather unfortunately take.n the same name). The GD was (and to a certain extent still is) an amazing integration of many schools of western esotericism and in turn laid the foundation for groups such as Wicca (and indeed the atheistic church of Satan) and many of its offshoot schools of spirituality in the 20th century.

re different types of Satanism, there is no worship of anything other than the wonderful capabilities of the human race in atheistic Satanism.

much rarer are deistic Satanists who really have a different view of Satan to mainstream Christianity etc, so again it’s important to look at the religion from their perspective not one that is contrary.

Please don’t confuse this with the Satan Worshipping envisaged during the Satanic Panic.

Of course as a Mainstream Christian (and I would classify this as one who adheres to the Nicene creed), as I assume you are, you won’t have this perspective due to the dualistic nature inherent in Christianity, which is neither a good or bad thing it just is.

So yes we will have to agree to disagree, but always remember the perspective you’re looking at something from gives a certain view which will never be the whole picture.

I'm not dressing it up. Many Satanists including LeVayan Satanists do not worship the devil.

The OP says she is pulled towards something bigger and a PP made a perfectly valid suggestion.

@OMG12 Thank you for your thoughts. Yes I am a what you might call a mainstream Christian and as such will obviously be coming at it from that angle, but I won't be changing my stance on this one. I wish the OP well in their search.

Absolutely, and I totally respect the perspective your faith provides you, and I’m pleased you have found a path which obviously provides you with stay and comfort. I was simply trying to offer an objective perspective on different paths available to the OP as they travel on their own journey.

it’s been good chatting Pax tecum

And also with you @OMG12 x

Funny the Christian God is revealed in Jesus and I don’t recall him doing any of those things, apart from to some swindling crooks in the temple.

The OP would be best off doing an Alpha course to investigate Christianity. Lots of them around. Non-threatening way.