Starting the discernment process in the CofE

[MrsTulip]

For a few years now God has been telling me he wants more from me, but that's all he's saying. He hasn't yet revealed what more is, then over the last 18 months a few friends and people I know from currently serving in children's ministry have mentioned I should consider ordination. Strangely this hasn't freaked me out like I thought it would but I do have a lot of questions and uncertainties about it, I feel this may be the way God wants me to go.
For a short while I did think it might be a call to reader ministry and I asked the vicar at a school I'm connected to (not my vicar or my child's school) a few questions about it.
I've also spoke to my own vicar about a placement in another church but have said I want this to hep me develop my current role.
I don't know why but I'm finding it hard to be totally honest with those around me and say outright I think God wants me to start the formal discernment process. Other than praying (cause I'm already doing tonnes of that) has anyone any advice of how to approach my vicar? I also for reasons that would be too outing don't want to talk my church warden. Thanks

Thank you 🙏🏼 PM sent.

There is no hurry, it is not urgent. e.

I have begun conversation with my Vicar. He did know I was thinking of this since about a year ago, but I would say this week was the first “proper” conversation. I came away with something to read and some things to do.

I don’t know where this is headed - but I am excited! Thanks to @mostlydrinkstea and others on this thread for sharing their experiences. It is a somewhat niche journey and whilst there are stories shared in books and online I always find it helpful to read new perspectives. Every journey is different.

Lots of love to all.

Even though we have a vocation support group in my diocese I also find it helpful to read threads like this and various blogs.
If you want to please keep us updated on how things go for you.

Hi there @MrsTulip and @erinaceus , I’m late joining the party but just wanted to wish you luck. It’s a while ago for me, but I know what you’re going through. Be yourselves!

I love hearing others experiences of calling and vocation too, I found blogs and posts like this to be really helpful to have an idea of what to expect during the discernment process. It all seems to take such a long time and then it suddenly speeds up. One term into training and we are already talking curacy!

Discernment and training were a proper whirlwind for me and went like a flash, it was the curacy that was the long hard slog 😅

Meeting with DDO went well, discussed the report from the psychological assessment. Still waiting on the reports from the VAs (although saw both before Christmas so unsure what the delay is).
Now need to start looking at theological colleges and apply for courses.

Exciting times! Where are you looking at training?

Ohhhh how exciting! How do you feel?

Not sure yet have been advised to look at some websites and to book some open days. Although I would prefer to stay in the north as that's where most of my support network are.

I feel ok, it's just a bit strange having to apply before even going to BAP.

Vocations advisor reports both back and ok. Got a practice run for the pastoral group exercise next weekend.

Wow, good luck @MrsTulip! I love that you’re having a practice run. We didn’t even get told what kind of exercises we had to do for selection until we got there.

It comes across as a process with a lot of support, apart from the glitch with the secretary who didn't accept that you couldn't take time off at the drop of a hat. Do you feel well-supported? What's the format of the pastoral activity?

Thank you. When i booked my BAP I got given an information pack that gives an idea of what to expect and what the 2 days will look like.

I feel very well supported although I have heard of people who don't feel well supported. I'm very fortunate that both the VAs I saw were great, one especially so (she has the same hobbies and pre ordination professional background as myself, so it's like talking to an old friend.) The DDO is also very good. I work in a CofE school that has an experienced vicar, 2 curates and an ordinand so lots of support there. Plus tonnes of other support from friends.
I have been advised that I can't discuss any aspect of the pastoral activity - sorry

Whatever it is - good luck!

Can anyone who has been to a BAP advise on what the expectations around actually eating food are? I'm a fussy eater who is easily over faced and very particular around the temperature of foods and will leave whole meals if they aren't the right temperature (for example this week at work, beans with baked potato were lukewarm and sandwich was too cold so didn't eat it and just had my own fruit from home)

You are observed all of the time so I expect that puts some people off eating so you are unlikely to be the only one not eating if food turns up that you can't eat.

How do you usually manage when you go away? I wake up really early so I always take extra snacks with me. I wouldn't make a fuss about the temperature of the food but just engage with people at mealtimes and eat in your room later so that you can function.

Meals can be stressful, but it’s more important to make good conversation (and occasionally serve/pass/clear things) than to eat the food. Take lots of snacks.

It's very rare I go away, I work in a school and refuse to pay the high prices companies charge for school holiday weeks, although we are going to Spring Harvest at Easter. For this (or if I eat out) I checked the menu before booking and if food (especially hot) is not the right temperature I send it back and ask for it to be extra hot , although I do mention this when ordering.
I do plan on taking snacks to BAP.
One retreat centre (not the one I'm going to) says on their website they have a delicious menu and the example of mains is salmon, goats cheese tart or roasted vegetable bake -sorry but non of those are delicious (to me and I would rather eat the dish washer tablets!)

The plan is to take a lot of snacks, but would prefer to eat properly as BAP isn't like an average day at home/work.

Practice run for group exercise went ok, although not everyone turned up for it so there was only 4 of us when at a BAP there would be 7 or 8.

Time to carry on with reading (any recommendations for theology for a complete beginner welcome - I was recommended theology a very short introduction by David Ford it's very dry and I can't get any of it to sink in). Thanks

Independent student here at one of the Northern institutions you may be considering (DM me if you want a chat)

Try Café Theology by Mike Lloyd (Principal at Wycliffe Hall in Oxford). It's a very readable introduction to Christian theology.

Keith Ward; 'Christianity, a Beginner's Guide' is a good introduction to the key doctrines and themes. He takes each theme and presents three different interpretations. If nothing else it demonstrates that there are a variety of views on these topics which is something you will be introduced to at theological college.