Starting the discernment process in the CofE

[MrsTulip]

For a few years now God has been telling me he wants more from me, but that's all he's saying. He hasn't yet revealed what more is, then over the last 18 months a few friends and people I know from currently serving in children's ministry have mentioned I should consider ordination. Strangely this hasn't freaked me out like I thought it would but I do have a lot of questions and uncertainties about it, I feel this may be the way God wants me to go.
For a short while I did think it might be a call to reader ministry and I asked the vicar at a school I'm connected to (not my vicar or my child's school) a few questions about it.
I've also spoke to my own vicar about a placement in another church but have said I want this to hep me develop my current role.
I don't know why but I'm finding it hard to be totally honest with those around me and say outright I think God wants me to start the formal discernment process. Other than praying (cause I'm already doing tonnes of that) has anyone any advice of how to approach my vicar? I also for reasons that would be too outing don't want to talk my church warden. Thanks

The poster won't be doing anything unless she puts her big girl pants on a speakers to her vicar, when he get's back from his holidays

That's as maybe but what about the countless ‘bad’ vicars aka ‘Tools of Satan’ who sail through this ‘rigorous’ selection process? They never seem to be chastised and seem to be allowed free rein - Also I worry that you consider that a person having varying opinions is not ‘helpful’ explains a lot about C of E ( and most religions to be fair) - which is inward looking, self serving, self seeking and self regulating.

Congratulations on exploring your vocation! Even if you come to discern that ordination is not what God is calling you into it's still really worthwhile to seek God’s wisdom and calling on your life. I expect your Vocations Advisor will be lots of help.

I have a voluntary role in the CofE Discernment process and I find that sometimes those that feel self-conscious talking with people about it at the beginning have got ordained roles on a bit of a pedestal and they can feel inadequate. I think particularly for women there can be some imposter syndrome and embarrassment flows from this. If this is you (and I am not saying it is) I recommend reading Tim Keller's The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. It's not particularly for people going into ordination but it is really helpful in putting aside self esteem (low and high) as a factor. Really it's not about our abilities but about our willingness to obey God’s calling whatever that turns out to be.

Oh and I would also say that while you have to speak to your vicar remember they are only human and not every clergy person had the enthusiastic support of their vicar right from the start. Indeed it is possible to get through your stage 2 panel (new BAP) with a fairly poor reference from your incumbent - although the panel will explore why that is!

‘Fairly poor reference’ 🙄😡says it all really

@eveoha I don't think this is the thread for you.

I don't think it would be anything to do with the church wardens. It's not their role to advise on that.

Vincitveritas it’s been an eye opener and sadly confirmed my gut feelings re clergy

Peace and love eveoha 💜

Et cum spiritu tuo -

🙏

So we have had holiday bible starting this week and after two other helpers at the club, who don't attend the same church as me but do attend other churches team, have both text me to say I should speak to my vicar I have emailed him about all this.
It feels weird, scary but the right thing all at the same time

Good for you - best get sourcing your cassock and cotta 🙄

As mentioned above I’m not sure this is the thread for you
And anyway it’s still very early days so definitely don’t need a cassock at the moment and I might not be recommended for training anyway

Hope springs eternal in the human breast 🙏🏽

"Varying opinions" is one thing but you're not offering any opinions on the question the OP asked - you were just shouting that there were too many bad apples in the church orchard but at least you started off seeming to want a discussion which was fair (but this was still not the place for it). Now you're just making silly, sarcastic digs. That's definitely unhelpful.

Huge congratulations!!! What a courageous and exciting thing to do! I hope you have a speedy and helpful response!

You keep saying "Ah, but I might not get anywhere anyway" but whilst I remain hopeful for you that it will lead to ordination, even if it doesn't, it will definitely lead to a better sense of calling and vocation - even if that's just "children's ministry is definitely what I want to do full time and now I know of more courses etc that will lead to more effective ministry and better opportunities".

Please do continue to share your journey with us if you'd like to! I have been praying for you!

Thank you @CremeEggsForBreakfast for your advice. My vicars response was a lot quicker than expected. He's happy for me to do an explorers course and contact the DDO - although that will be a job for another day as I have holiday bible club the rest of the week and my DS (8) is being admitted to Holy Communion before confirmation on Sunday

Vinci Veritas - you are so right and naturally I’ll defer to you 🙄 ( heavy sarcasm) this thread not my normal milieu - posters are v precious and lacking self awareness - I wish Mrs Tulip well and trust all involved in ‘discernment’ process will be guided by the Holy Spirit

@eveoha Not sure whether that was meant as an insult or not, but I do hope you're genuinely wishing Mrs Tulip well.

Mrs Tulip got home from holiday bible club about 1pm and emailed the DDO he emailed back within 10 minutes that his admin person would send me a date for a meeting, which he has done but I work in a school, so can't just book time off. Mrs Tulip now has to wait until after the bank holiday to get another date

Whist Ive had worse insults I do think Eveoha would be better off on a different thread more suited to her belief.

I think it is important for you to go through the process, and not be put off by negative assumptions and misconceptions.

In our church family, we have 2 or 3 people going through the process at any one time. These people may be 23 year old youth workers all the way to very mature adults (our current ones are 57 and close to 50), and have had 3 ordained this Petertide.

It is awkward for you that your vicar is not enthusiastically encouraging, but you could also reach out to your deanery. If you have time on your side, you could join Deanery Synod. I am a warden and Deanery Synod member, and I love Deanery Synod. I think if I were in a smaller church I would really lean on the Deanery to support me in wider church roles.

Please don't be discouraged. Use the diocesan resourses to navigate your way to where you want to end up. There is more than one way.

My vicar has been very supportive it’s the church warden who is the issue.
If it’s Gods will / plan for me then it will happen

Vinci Veritas - Of course I wish her well - I hold everyone I meet in unconditional positive regard however I think iit’s very very odd you both think my post was an insult - I do however take exception to Mrs Tulip’s v unChristian remark re my ‘belief’and hope that it isn’t reflective of her level of tolerance of differing opinions in any future ministry she may be privileged to serve in 🙏🏽

I live a multi cultural multi faith UK city and I believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want but everyone should be aware that people will/ May believe different things to them but we should respect each other’s differences