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Original poster

Starting the discernment process in the CofE

346 replies

MrsTulip · 17/08/2022 17:12

For a few years now God has been telling me he wants more from me, but that's all he's saying. He hasn't yet revealed what more is, then over the last 18 months a few friends and people I know from currently serving in children's ministry have mentioned I should consider ordination. Strangely this hasn't freaked me out like I thought it would but I do have a lot of questions and uncertainties about it, I feel this may be the way God wants me to go.
For a short while I did think it might be a call to reader ministry and I asked the vicar at a school I'm connected to (not my vicar or my child's school) a few questions about it.
I've also spoke to my own vicar about a placement in another church but have said I want this to hep me develop my current role.
I don't know why but I'm finding it hard to be totally honest with those around me and say outright I think God wants me to start the formal discernment process. Other than praying (cause I'm already doing tonnes of that) has anyone any advice of how to approach my vicar? I also for reasons that would be too outing don't want to talk my church warden. Thanks

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 18/06/2023 20:33

Well I was back at my home church this morning and it was a lovely welcome back from everyone.
Need to meet with the vicar from placement church as she was away last week to do the paperwork and then I’m back with my DDO/ VA on 25th July

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 20/07/2023 21:00

Currently waiting on my written placement report and back with my VA on Tuesday. Wondering if I will be given any idea of when I might get a stage 1 panel?

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 29/07/2023 08:23

So I was back with my VA earlier this week and now have a date for the stage 1 carousel conversations in mid October.
Still waiting on my placement report though.
Has anyone who previously worked in a school bee through this process , who can advise how to get the DDO's PA to understand that I can't just keep taking random mornings/afternoons off for meetings, nor can I book it as holiday, especially when I will have just had 6 weeks off for summer, between going back to work on 4th September and including the full day off for stage 1 (which is before half term)they want me to have what will be the equivalent of 5 full days off!

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CremeEggsForBreakfast · 29/07/2023 09:28

MrsTulip · 29/07/2023 08:23

So I was back with my VA earlier this week and now have a date for the stage 1 carousel conversations in mid October.
Still waiting on my placement report though.
Has anyone who previously worked in a school bee through this process , who can advise how to get the DDO's PA to understand that I can't just keep taking random mornings/afternoons off for meetings, nor can I book it as holiday, especially when I will have just had 6 weeks off for summer, between going back to work on 4th September and including the full day off for stage 1 (which is before half term)they want me to have what will be the equivalent of 5 full days off!

How exciting to have a date for your carousel! Huge congratulations!!
So pleased to read that you enjoyed your placement but that also coming "home" to your own church was a positive experience.

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty with your vocations advisor though. This is definitely a "them" problem. I appreciate we are in different dioceses but neither my DH's VA nor his DDO had a full-time PA. He liases directly with his DDO (where we are, it's the DDO that works with you to prepare you for the interviews etc) and she meets him at 7pm because that's the only time he can manage around work.

Of course, your VA may have a very different work schedule but there's permission there for them to work around you if they wanted to.

Original poster
MrsTulip · 29/07/2023 09:35

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 29/07/2023 09:28

How exciting to have a date for your carousel! Huge congratulations!!
So pleased to read that you enjoyed your placement but that also coming "home" to your own church was a positive experience.

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty with your vocations advisor though. This is definitely a "them" problem. I appreciate we are in different dioceses but neither my DH's VA nor his DDO had a full-time PA. He liases directly with his DDO (where we are, it's the DDO that works with you to prepare you for the interviews etc) and she meets him at 7pm because that's the only time he can manage around work.

Of course, your VA may have a very different work schedule but there's permission there for them to work around you if they wanted to.

Show quote history

Thanks for this my DDO is my VA hence why they have a PA. I have emailed the PA but they are out of the office until Tuesday. The PA is getting narky with me as I can't confirm a meeting on 7th September until I've spoke to my head (who is now on holiday and doesnt deal with emails, calls or messages. ) on 4th September.

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 05/08/2023 16:52

Anyone who's been through this process is it normal for me now to feel very emotional and exhausted? Since I got the date and have been doing serious prep work I feel like I did when I was first pregnant ( and no I'm definitely not pregnant!)

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 31/08/2023 13:21

Feeling very frustrated with it all today. Feel like I don't know enough to be able to have the conversations. Been trying to make some notes based on the what is being looked for section of each conversation. Really struggling with conversation 2 the CofE -it's like I've never set foot in a church in my life.
Also still waiting on my written placement report from the supervising vicar. The placement finished over 10 weeks ago!

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whatausername · 31/08/2023 13:41

It will be worth it. Keep going.

GuardiansPlayList · 31/08/2023 13:48

Rooting for you MrsT.

Original poster
MrsTulip · 31/08/2023 14:44

Thanks everyone, I fear I may have eaten far too much chocolate today.

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erinaceus · 31/08/2023 18:19

Sending encouragement, @MrsTulip .

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Original poster
MrsTulip · 31/08/2023 18:23

erinaceus · 31/08/2023 18:19

Sending encouragement, @MrsTulip .

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Thank you. Think the diocese need to send me a slimming world membership 🙈

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 01/09/2023 15:55

I mean how on earth (via a zoom call) do you show that you are willing to work within the churches diversity?

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mostlydrinkstea · 03/09/2023 13:04

What do they mean by diversity? I was a local panel assessor at one point and we asked about working with the different traditions of the church. If your placement was from a different tradition then you could talk about that. Maybe something from a different viewpoint so a conservative blog is you are from an inclusive standpoint and vice versa.

mostlydrinkstea · 03/09/2023 13:14

At this stage my impression is that they are looking for awareness that the C of E is a broad church. In my last post I saw many candidates with no experience of church outside their mega church contexts. They had very little experience of sacramental ministry, the Eucharist or what a priest in an ordinary parish church did day to day. They had usually done a placement in a non mega church context to get some insight. A lot of the knowledge base can be sorted out in training but an awareness that some churches use hymns and other worship songs, some are gathered and some are local, some are evangelical and based on reformed theology and some are influenced by the Oxford Movement of the mid to,late 19th century helps in the discernment process as you are in a discernment for the national church and not the local. At the end of training I could lead a middle of the road sung Eucharist, a BCP Eastward facing service and, at a push, lead a charismatic worship service. I even had a go swinging a thurible without knocking anything over.

I think this is what underlies the diversity question but I could be wrong.

Original poster
MrsTulip · 03/09/2023 17:46

mostlydrinkstea · 03/09/2023 13:04

What do they mean by diversity? I was a local panel assessor at one point and we asked about working with the different traditions of the church. If your placement was from a different tradition then you could talk about that. Maybe something from a different viewpoint so a conservative blog is you are from an inclusive standpoint and vice versa.

My placement was from a different tradition but it was 6 weeks of observing and I'm a person who prefers and learns best when doing so after week 2 I was a bit disengaged.

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 03/09/2023 17:49

mostlydrinkstea · 03/09/2023 13:14

At this stage my impression is that they are looking for awareness that the C of E is a broad church. In my last post I saw many candidates with no experience of church outside their mega church contexts. They had very little experience of sacramental ministry, the Eucharist or what a priest in an ordinary parish church did day to day. They had usually done a placement in a non mega church context to get some insight. A lot of the knowledge base can be sorted out in training but an awareness that some churches use hymns and other worship songs, some are gathered and some are local, some are evangelical and based on reformed theology and some are influenced by the Oxford Movement of the mid to,late 19th century helps in the discernment process as you are in a discernment for the national church and not the local. At the end of training I could lead a middle of the road sung Eucharist, a BCP Eastward facing service and, at a push, lead a charismatic worship service. I even had a go swinging a thurible without knocking anything over.

I think this is what underlies the diversity question but I could be wrong.

Thanks this is helpful. I'm back with my VA on Saturday so looks like he's going to need to help me with this.

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mostlydrinkstea · 03/09/2023 18:19

Yes ask the VA what the question is about. It might be about the LLF process, it might be about how you might work with someone who does not affirm the ministry of women or LGBT people or it might be different church traditions or something else entirely. I'm a bit out of the loop as I haven't done vocations work for a while and things do change.

Original poster
MrsTulip · 09/09/2023 21:16

Was back with my VA (also the DDO) this morning and we went through it so feeling a lot better about that now, although messed up on one of the bits I thought I had prepared well (I had just messed it up as lost my thread).
I'm meeting with him again at the start of October ready for stage 1 in mid October.
Thanks to everyone for all their prayers and advice so far, it means a lot.
Also those who are about to start training (if not alreday this week) how are you all feeling. Prayers for all our new ordinands

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Original poster
MrsTulip · 04/10/2023 18:50

So things are happening fast now. Was back at placement church on Sunday to lead (most of) the worship and assist with the chalice at Holy Communion -I had an overwhelming sense of calm and peace about it all.
I'm meeting with my VA (also the DDO) on Saturday morning for a practice run of the stage 1 carousel conversations, then I will have my actual stage 1 panel on Wednesday 18th October -eek!

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erinaceus · 04/10/2023 20:51

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

it’s really interesting reading this thread back to see the timelines and steps. Thank you for starting it. Hopefully we can support you with some prayers and a sympathetic ear!

Original poster
MrsTulip · 05/10/2023 19:04

Prayers would be much apricated as the church warden mentioned at the start of this post now knows what I'm up to and has sadly started trying to get in my head the last few days.

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erinaceus · 05/10/2023 22:25

Oh no! I’m really sorry to hear that. Do you know anything concrete about their involvement with your process? Or are your concerns still relating to what you think their role is? Do you have others in your home parish or otherwise locally praying for and supporting you? Hopefully yes…

Original poster
MrsTulip · 06/10/2023 08:06

erinaceus · 05/10/2023 22:25

Oh no! I’m really sorry to hear that. Do you know anything concrete about their involvement with your process? Or are your concerns still relating to what you think their role is? Do you have others in your home parish or otherwise locally praying for and supporting you? Hopefully yes…

I've been told that further on in the process that I will need a reference from a lay leader in my church as she is church warden and a reader (LLM) the reference will come from her. She is also part of the team that run the vocations support group that I would love to attend as I think it would be very beneficial for me, but unfortunately I don't attend due to her negativity.

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eveoha · 06/10/2023 08:43

Attending the vocations support group will not only be vital/integral in your ‘application’ process but will be beneficial to your ‘personal development’ - you will have to accept and try to gently counteract her ‘negativity’ and remember that it’s never good for anyone to be surrounded by a claque or be part of a clique.