Are there any Stoics here?

[ThorsBedazzler]

Does anyone else follow Stoicism here?

I'm an atheist, and happy with that. But having read Derren Brown's book "Happy" and read around stoicism, I've found a way of living that makes sense to me.

It has helped me focus less on other people, and more on what in m life i can control. I'm struggling at the moment with a run of unconnected but inconvenient events but have found it easier to bounce back because I've accepted that things happen, it isn't a cosmic plan against me, I'm not a victim.

I'm planning on reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (have read excerpts before) and Seneca too. It just seems a sensible way to approach life to me.

Anyone else?

Oh I'm already looking at Stoicism and found it very helpful. Just wondered specifically about the Derren Brown book.

I also think it's helped with the hot flat problem, oddly.

I could do with being stoic! I do a good job of appearing stoic whilst embracing inner turmoil - maybe I'll get that book!

Epictetus' Handbook is short and worth a look as well.

I think I might be, but haven't read about it. I like the idea of aceptance, it keeps me sane anyway.

Yes. Stoicism helped me to move on from grief and to make peace with stress, pain, sadness, worry etc. I can't believe how much its changed my life. I used to be highly sensitive to criticism too and now I just take it on board whether I agree or not, if that's their opinion of me, I'm just fine with it. In my quest for happiness, I found contentment and I'm 'ok' with that. I look back on good times and no longer yearn for them, I just remember them with gratitude. Above all, I remind myself that 'I'm not owed anything' and it makes me work harder and enjoy my successes more when I get them.

I am a "natural" stoic as a lot of things have happened to me outside my control (serious illness, cancer, bereavement) but I was recently listening to a Catholic podcast (I am Catholic) and it was very interesting as it said stoicism is antiChristian. Of course stoicism as a philosophy is older than Christianity but the discussion was how we are not expected to suffer and that part of being a member of a loving community is relieving suffering. They talked about how there is a danger of developing fatalism and a loss of hope. Interesting discussion.

Raven "part of being a member of a loving community is relieving suffering."

agree. My current mission involves doing much less of that though. I have done a lot, and I regret some of it, tbh. That's a chunk of time I could have put into my own things.

i don't see any philosophy as incompatible with community though.

that said, a religious person once asked me "why do you do volunteer work when you don't believe in god". No idea where to start with that one.

I was brought up as a Catholic, though I know longer practice. I studied Taoism for a bit. I don’t think Christianity is incompatible with Stoicism. Surely you can believe in God and still embrace the Stoic principles? One is a religion and the other a life philosophy? Interesting concept though. I’ve been reading about people who’ve had NDE’s, so I try to embrace the Stoic practice of Memento Mori, whilst firmly believing that there is ‘something’ after death.

I see stoicism as also being community minded. Dont be concerned with whether someone thinks you are good, just do good. But not for the "reward" of an after life.

I'm am atheist, I don't think there's anything other than the life we are living. So I try to do good things, be a good person, because that's what humans do

Being told that it was okay to step away from things outside of my control was hugely, massively liberating

I feel exactly the same @workwoes123 I feel a strong sense of letting go, yet at the same time I've been improving relationships that are important to me. I feel calmer yet more empowered. I attempt to relieve suffering where I can, but with strong boundaries in place.
I think it's very wholesome philosophy for living!

If Catholicism says people should not to suffer. Catholic guilt can be debilitating and you rarely lose than unique ability to blame yourself if you're a born Catholic. Accepting certain things in a more stoic way helped me move away from that. Happiness is accepting that which cannot be changed, my Gran used to say.

I don't think Stoicism is incompatible with Christianity. If anything, some Stoic ideas have helped me to be a (bit better hopefully) Christian. I think because Stoicism emphasises your own responsibility and reactions as well as an acceptance that we cannot control everything, just ourselves, is deeply empowering.

One example, reading Marcus' view that if you change your approach to a thing, the nature of the thing itself will change. New neighbours were Mum and her little boy. Banging football against the fence, riding his bike back and forth across the right of way all day, slamming gates (nothing terrible) I really made myself think about how I was reacting and could change and realised he was a small boy, only child, who had gone through a parental breakup and a move and was quite isolated and lonely. Instead of rolling my eyes and tutting I made efforts to speak and get to know both of them (ice cream helped ) We became quite close to T (who was a smashing little lad) and his Mum and all very happy, friendly neighbours. Cheers Marcus!

I like to think that this long dead Roman emperor who lived a life so utterly different to ours would be pleased his thoughts are still having a good effect.

That's such a lovely post @CPL593H

Is anyone having moments where their Stoicism annoys other people?

I imagine that pushing it on people like some do with religion, might be irritating.
Sometimes if you change quite radically, it puts people out and they try to push you back into how you behaved before, because otherwise they can't quite understand you. Personally I think people like me better now because I'm less stressy and easier to be around. I wouldn't talk about it in real life unless i was asked though.

How is it affecting you?

Oh wow, I’ve not mentioned anything to anyone about it. I just react less and I think sometimes people are disappointed because they are trying to have a rant, I’m trying to ignore it while mming politely. That sort of thing.

That makes sense. It seems that people sometimes up the ante when you change, in order to force you to change back.

I wasn't suggesting that you were going on about it. I was just thinking of circumstances that might make other people annoyed

I agree, especially if you are putting healthier boundaries in place.

I'm reading The Daily Stoic for the second year running and I'll continue forever probably. It's helped me a lot and I want to look into it in a bit more depth.

I like the stoic approach and luckily it seems to come naturally to me. I've read Happy and agreed with a lot of it.

More of us - hello!

I've just started "stoicism and the art of happiness" by Donald Robertson. Will carry on with re-reading Happy too.

I've told a few people about stoicism, my SIL said she was worried that I was joining a cult 😬 it does make me feel more centred and less focused on The Unhappy Things That Happened In The Past (I've been on the Stately Homes thread...) and less focused on worrying about what might happen in the future, although I need to work on that one a bit more at the moment.

What a great thread !
Thanks to everyone who's mentioned books / links. Aiming for a calmer, more balanced, wider view of life sounds absolutely what I need.

OP
that's interesting as I have always had a strong feeling against dwelling in the past. I'm not applying that to people who had problems. I just feel society encourages those of us who were fine with, to seek out problems with it.

interesting point re people trying to change me back to what I was. I am deliberately trying to avpid other people's crap. That would have happened whether or not I read a book on Stoicism though! 😂

Yes I came to the daily stoic via Happy!
However I'm still not in the habit..

I’m learning to react less to things, particularly at work, which can be quite toxic at times. I don’t tell anyone in real life that I’m following a particular philosophy, though I might occasionally mention I’ve read a book on it. I’m trying to be more disciplined and have recently tried to meditate.

I love the idea of not being concerned about things that are beyond my control but can’t always apply this in real life. It’s a work in progress :)