Does anyone know much about the Brethren?

[carlycurly]

There are plenty of indications that our new neighbours may be part of the Brethren and I suspect that the house has been bought by the church for let to Brethren families.

I'm fascinated by such a different way of life and am really just interested in finding out some more about it all. I'm guessing I won't find any on here due to the restrictions on using internet. we've had a few interesting situations with them so far and it's certainly not the usual neighbour interaction.

Had a couple of Brethren parents at our primary school. Very pleasant and polite, as were the kids. One of the younger mums was particularly open to answering questions.

Their DC's had to go home for lunch. They left to go to their own school in Yr 5 I think. They didn't go on any school trips or attend sex ed classes. I can't remember them being at sports days, concerts, school fairs etc so nothing outside of the school day.

I understand from a plumber friend who had worked for them for many years (they were very good customers who paid by return every time) that they prefer to buy detached houses so drains aren't shared. Does anyone know about the drain thing? Where possible they build a new house. He did say once you're "in" he could have easily had enough work just to work exclusively for them.

We have a large community locally. The women wear long skirts and a square head scarf or headband/bow for the girls. The men generally wear a white shirt and suit trousers. The boys wear the same as the men at meetings.

I understand they pool their money so that everyone gets a decent house, car and financially supported when in need. All have substantial properties. From the outside it seems a really sensible way to do things.

Alcohol is an odd one. I've never seen so much booze in a house. One family had optics in an entertaining area in their garden and a house I once visited had a sideboard completely covered with bottles. Their dining tables are huge as I believe each family takes turns to host meetings.

A lot are self employed and work their particular trade within the community.

I've never heard of the Brethren before, this thread has been hugely interesting.

What do they believe, religion-wise? What's the reason for all the restrictions?

This is a BBC article on Exclusive Brethren, Gorkys :

www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/subdivisions/exclusivebrethren_1.shtml#:~:text=Other%20beliefs,Father%2C%20Son%20and%20Holy%20Spirit

Here is the Plymouth Brethren website:
www.plymouthbrethrenchristianchurch.org/

@Gorkys

I've never heard of the Brethren before, this thread has been hugely interesting.

What do they believe, religion-wise? What's the reason for all the restrictions?

They are fairly orthodox, although cessationalist.

They live in the world but separate from it, and set apart.

They only fellowship with those they 'break bread' with, ie with people with whom they share the Lord's Supper. Needless to say, they are a closed communion.

They believe they're remaining faithful to the early church as described in Acts. They take everything literally and believe it's completely relevant to today. Despite the tight control, they believe they're the only truly democratic (ie led by God alone) body of believers (never a church!) because they don't have intermediary like a vicar or priest or governing body. There see themselves as just casually administrated by a group of wise men in line with New Testament teaching.

They're strongly committed to weekly 'breaking of bread' (not communion but actually communion) as they believe salvation from sin is at the heart of everything. This goes hand in hand with 'total immersion' baptism of adult believers rather than the christening of infants, which they see as heretical.

They would see their beliefs as very simple, just salvation by faith not works. Their culture, which has grown up slowly and to their minds is normal living for anyone who wants to be unworldly, is complicated and perhaps makes them seem more interesting than they really are.

I didn't know there were types that encourage alcohol. That is very far from the brethren as I've known them.

Cloudacious....I think you are describing open Brethren. In the EB's we were all dunked in a bath tub at home within a few days of being born to baptise us. Based on a couple of new testament stories where someone became a Christian and were then baptised with all their family. This is called household baptism. They would only baptise an adult if they had joined the church and were unbaptised which is quite unusual. Apart from baptism the Open Brethren and EB were very similar in how they lived their lives and what services looked like. There was no vicar/pastor/ priest and we all sat around until someone felt moved to speak( but quakeresque) Were started the day with the Breaking of Bread( communion service) went home for lunch( usually involving visitors as hospitality a very big thing) then head an afternoon Bible reading, home for tea and back for a Gospel preaching in the evening. Sunday's were very busy!!
I think today they have daily services early morning and probably a couple on a Sunday.Although no vicar, the rules are all set by Bruce Hales in Aus and as I said previously, there are things they can do today that would have had you thrown out 10 years ago as I think they are wanting to assist less cultish. However, speak to someone who has recently tried to leave and it would break your heart.
My parents heard one day from a great nephew who they did not know existed. He had left everything behind, grandparents, parents, 9 siblings, job and all his mates. He had nothing and although a couple of siblings would message him, they rushed being kicked out of caught and he could not meet them. He came and lives for a year or so with my parents and actually is not happily married and enjoying life but he was such a mess. He had never really had to decide anything for himself. He got locked out for having an illegal mobile and computer.

sorry...typos again. He IS happily married.

A close friend is from a Plymouth Brethren family, his father was violent, but if his mother divorced she would have been disowned and she would have lost her children, so she was forced to suffer abuse until her children were 18. At that point she divorced, she was targeted by the community with hate mail, damage to her property etc and she received multi police visits as she was being reported for all sorts, dealing drugs, running a brothel etc. She eventually had a restraining order against her ex husband, but it was pointless as the rest of the community carried on until she moved away.

My friend has quite significant problems from the abusive childhood he had to endure.

The meeting hall I attended was open brethren, with adult baptism. Sundays were exactly as @vdbfamily describes. They did a lot of good work in the community - they had a youth club one evening, and used to take a minibus full of children swimming once a week. The children didn’t have to attend church or Sunday school to go swimming or to the youth club, or on the annual Sunday school outing. My friend moved away, and I stopped going when I was about 13. Interestingly, they became baptists when they moved. The meeting house closed about a year later - our neighbours, who were also members, said there had been a huge row, with some members wanting to be stricter and others wanting to carry on as they were. The stricter ones joined a different meeting hall and the more open disbanded and joined different churches.

Interestingly, they became baptists when they moved.

Yes that's what they always do. That or a non-denominational 'Bible based evangelical' church. Splits often happen because some people don't want to be as 'tight' and others won't change.

Open or anything else, Sundays all sound very similar. The successful businesses sound similar. This Bruce Hale whiskey drinking spin off sounds more heretical and cultish. But I can't honestly say I don't think the whole movement is oppressive.

This rebecca stott book is really interesting by the way, so far

I'm really enjoying the book too. Wonder if they've noticed a spike in sales following this post.

Turned out that one of my two had been out and chucked the ball back so that mystery was satisfactorily resolved and probably indicates all this is winding me up more than it should be.

Their eldest then came round for 2 more balls this afternoon. Our garden is a bit wild and bushy at the end so it was a proper palaver to a) identify them from ours and b) retrieve them. They need to play in a park really.

Just started chapter 13, started it last night. The family tree was a bit confusing but I'm looking forward to the "nazi years" and the 60s 70s they are referring to. As someone who interacts with members of the EB weekly I'm finding it helpful

@Simonjt

A close friend is from a Plymouth Brethren family, his father was violent, but if his mother divorced she would have been disowned and she would have lost her children, so she was forced to suffer abuse until her children were 18. At that point she divorced, she was targeted by the community with hate mail, damage to her property etc and she received multi police visits as she was being reported for all sorts, dealing drugs, running a brothel etc. She eventually had a restraining order against her ex husband, but it was pointless as the rest of the community carried on until she moved away.

My friend has quite significant problems from the abusive childhood he had to endure.

That's awful. But nothing particularly to do with PB. Abuse can happen in families of any background.

It can happen anywhere, but you wouldn't usually also lose your children and everything you knew if you were a dv victim. Imagine going through that with no support from anyone close to you. It's appalling.

The Brethren doesn't sound to be a great place to be a woman.

@carlycurly

It can happen anywhere, but you wouldn't usually also lose your children and everything you knew if you were a dv victim. Imagine going through that with no support from anyone close to you. It's appalling.

The Brethren doesn't sound to be a great place to be a woman.

No that sounds awful. But if you live in this country you wouldn't just lose your children, if you involve the authorities. The law applies to everyone. But it might be difficult for a woman brought up in that environment to know where to go,for help.

I just don't think we should automatically attribute everything that people do wrong to their religion.

Tbh Im not sure its a great place for a 'lower ranked' male.

The company i worked for was a family business. They sold up and were in the process of turning it over to the new buyers (outsiders) whilst I was there. One of the sales guys was a son of the owner, but he was deemed 'useless' by the elders and not capable of taking over from his father. Hence the business was sold. He had to undergo the open secret within the company about how he was viewed. Likewise the old useless guy (I mentioned above) was in a situation where none of the community wanted to take him on so he stayed working with outsiders for much longer than typical. Again it wasn't exactly secret that he had low status within the community. He was a sexist arsehole who would have been even more screwed tin the 'real' world but equally there was something of an indignity of being labelled as useless. Meanwhile the general manager was younger than the owners son and was fast tracked as a rising star in the community and was being lined up for something of a prestigious job and had been allowed to travel and was trusted to do certain things that weren't normally allowed by the elders.

The hierarchical thing in such a small community was something that must have been difficult to deal with for some and you could sense the bitterness and resentment at times.

Especially when the general managers wife was allowed to continue working part-time and had a role on a par with useless arsehole even though he was full time. She was clearly higher status than him purely through marriage.

The insular nature of it, definitely seemed to indicate a very rigid pecking order.

@carlycurly

It can happen anywhere, but you wouldn't usually also lose your children and everything you knew if you were a dv victim. Imagine going through that with no support from anyone close to you. It's appalling.

The Brethren doesn't sound to be a great place to be a woman.

It doesn’t sound good for anyone, sadly where cults are concerned denial and blind faith are the main two components. So unfortunately people will do anything to pretend there aren’t problems. These cults are created by abusers and a haven for abusers.

Rebecca Stott is on Radio 4 Point of view this weekend talking about Coercive control amongst other things.

Thanks for flagging that - I'll make sure I listen. The book is such an eye opener.

No sign of anyone today but there was an awful lot of screaming coming from their house as ds and I headed out yesterday evening. It was disturbing and ds was bothered by it too. Dp and I are mulling over the safeguarding implications and what best to do.

False information

False information

Should you have a non peeb phone, sister? (Or brother...)

Are you referring to something specific?

Dear poster. I stumbled upon this discussion quite by accident and reading through the comments gave me me much amusement and also confirmed to me how much misinformation there is online. I'm not a brother or a sister nor do I need to have a 'special' phone.
I live in a place where I have had many neighbours and people in the community over the years whom to me at times seem weird , unusual, strange if you like, many different races, faiths, rich and poor but I respect their right to live a life they wish and offer kindness. While I respect everyone's right to free speech I wouldn't ever consider publicly humiliating or condemning online any minority group. Funny world hey!