Does anyone know much about the Brethren?

[carlycurly]

There are plenty of indications that our new neighbours may be part of the Brethren and I suspect that the house has been bought by the church for let to Brethren families.

I'm fascinated by such a different way of life and am really just interested in finding out some more about it all. I'm guessing I won't find any on here due to the restrictions on using internet. we've had a few interesting situations with them so far and it's certainly not the usual neighbour interaction.

Thank you all. The females (one a young girl) wear long skirts, usually an Alice band and have long hair. We picked up the potential Brethren link when they headed off on Sunday in headscarves.

They attend a school but the uniform isn't recognisable to me as anything local. It's also noticeable that the age span is about 8 years between them and they're all in the same uniform, rather than a primary and secondary version.

They are incredibly noisy in the garden, there is no sense of consideration or boundaries. One of the dcs clearly has some issues and the language he uses is a little disturbing.

The adults largely ignore me. I've stopped trying after a few attempts to say hello as they clearly just don't want to engage, which is fine and up to them.

It's all the total opposite of the previous family and although I really don't need to be friendly with neighbours, it feels a bit strange to have zero interaction at all with these ones. You almost need to consciously avoid it and that's not natural for a northerner by origin!

We are sw England

Non-conformists in a religious sense. They do not christen children, they do not follow 'man-made' religion like CofE with its trimmings, etc.

[quote DOINGOURBIT]@campion - Brethren by their very nature are non-conformists, a break away from the CofE. They don't have much time for organised religion.[/quote]
They obviously didnt have much time for their own flesh and blood either.

Most non-conformists are a little more accommodating.

I thought she'd definitely have gone to uni and made something of herself given the chance in other circumstances rather than settling so young.

I know what you mean, but you can "make something" of yourself without going to university.

Is this the cult that makes people in low incomes take loans out to pay the church’s and they all pool the money?

If so, I wouldn’t even engage any conversation

I'm thinking exclusive brethren from a quick google search. They are definitely insular. The hours the dcs spend in the garden would correlate with them having no tv or similar.

I've noticed that there are some very large sticks propped up against their porch. Too big to be for walking. Is this in any way significant?

We have many Plymouth Brethren families locally as one of their schools is in our local town. IME, they're kind, hard working and polite. They do keep themselves to themselves and the children who attend the local primary (can't attend their own school until they're 7) go home for lunch and don't take part in bits of the school day. I know a couple in passing to stop and chat to and they're funny, friendly and open.

@carlycurly

I'm thinking exclusive brethren from a quick google search. They are definitely insular. The hours the dcs spend in the garden would correlate with them having no tv or similar.

I've noticed that there are some very large sticks propped up against their porch. Too big to be for walking. Is this in any way significant?

To prop up a washing line with? Den building? The children found some sticks in the woods and brought them home?

I know someone who was brought up Brethren. He left in his early twenties, and joined the CofE and was totally disowned. No contact with his family at all. He describes it as a very controlling and restricted way of life.

I lived in a town in sw England that had a large plymouth brethren church on the outskirts and quite a few kids went to junior school with us, and then disappeared off to do secondary education at home, coming in to school only to do exams. No tv, no eating with people outside of their group. A bit of a shame for the children I thought.

OP, do a search on here — I remember at least one long, detailed previous thread, possibly with contributions from someone who’d grown up in that community.

I sound utterly ridiculous, I realise. It's just that the sticks look like they're on display. Almost ornamental and as if they've been placed.

Not for a washing line and they'd take some lugging back from a walk. I'll go look properly tomorrow when it's light.

I assume you are in detached houses. The Plymouth Brethren bought my late GPs bungalow as it was detached and had a large garden around all sides. They couldn't share a wall with people of a different or no religion. My DF used to do the accounts for several self employed Plymouth Brethren and they had to supply copies of their accounts to the elders to prove they were donating the correct percentage of their earnings to the church.

We are in detached houses, yes. Next door is 5 bed, 3 storey and an 18 year old appeared to decide to buy it after a single 10 minute viewing. Didn't return until the sale went through. Then sat empty for months until this family literally arrived in the middle of the night.

I remember the former neighbours commenting that the whole sale was peculiar. They thought it was going to fall through until exchange due to the number of unusual questions, especially about the drainage. Which I have also now read is a thing!

I do some work for an ex member of the PBCC (Plymouth Brethren Christian Church) as the Exclusive Brethren have rebranded themselves.
He is pretty mentally damaged by his life in and excommunication from the church. If you leave or are thrown out you lose your home and family. No contact allowed.
I think many people inside are good, decent folk. But the leadership are intensely money-driven. Very controlling.
Rebecca Stott's book mentioned above is very good.
There used to be an issue about not living in semi detached houses and sharing drains with 'worldlies' but that ban may have been lifted now. They cannot eat with outsiders.

I had a friend at University who was a member of the Brethren. I had been brought up in a strict, religious household too - or so I thought, but once I met her my parents looked like positive hedonists! Whereas I had never been to a nightclub and was expected to dress fairly conservatively eg skirts not more than an inch or so above the knee and no skin tight jeans, she wasn't allowed to watch tv and had to be basically covered from her neck to just above the ankle, couldn't cut her hair and had to wear a headscarf all the time. She had a hard time. Once at University she realised that a lot of what she had been taught about non Bretheren was rubbish and there were plenty of people living moral and indeed religious lives without all the restrictions and rules she'd had placed upon her, so she rebelled. But of course she still loved her parents and didn't want to be rejected by them so ended up living something of a double life. We lost touch after graduation. I often wonder what happened to her as she was a lovely person. I hope she managed a successful and happy life and career as she was very bright and I got the feeling her Church didn't approve. It all seemed very repressive, particularly for girls and women.
My friend was very gentle and quiet - her "rebellion" would be seen as extremely mild in most quarters as it involved things like wearing trousers, going into pubs but not drinking, and praying with Christians of other denominations! I can't imagine her being noisy in the garden even when she was little as she always said that keeping quiet was seen as a great virtue. So maybe that bit is specific to your neighbours rather than the religion?

How sad that religion is so divisive - what can be the problem with children eating with their peers?

@Mischance

How sad that religion is so divisive - what can be the problem with children eating with their peers?

That was always my view on the school trips, I always felt sorry for the Brethren mum having to sit away from us all just with those kids. Like most people I couldn’t care less what religion you are or if you wear a headscarf or a long skirt, I’d have been happy to hang out with them for a chat. It most be quite lonely only having a small number of people you can interact with.

The only people I know with any in depth knowledge of the brethren are ex brethren and I've never heard a good word about it from them.

We have a large brethren community in my area and I have worked for company's owned by brethren , all the ones I have met have been nice , I never discussed their beliefs with them and vice versa, but have read up on some of their beliefs etc ,

@Mouthfulofquiz think I may live in that town and yes they many if them don't eat with others

This is all fascinating!
I'd never heard of the Brethren until I read this thread.
They sound a bit like a sort of British equivalent of the American Amish community?
(Different practices but similar principles).

@Mischance

How sad that religion is so divisive - what can be the problem with children eating with their peers?

As said above, if you eat you chat, and if you chat you stand a chance of coming to the belief that you are being controlled. All these things are about control. No communication with the outside world, no fun, restrictions on what you can do. It’s all control.

I was at secondary school with a girl who belonged to the Brethren. It was an all girls private school and her sisters went there as well. I remember that she wasn't allowed to cut her hair or watch TV. I don't remember if she ate with us or separately but I wasn't that friendly with her. She definitely didn't wear a headscarf.

Rebecca Stott describes the decree not to eat with others as a real watershed in increasing the difficulty of remaining in the Brethren - a brutal refusal to allow any normal interaction, particularly for children. Very powerful.

Just to say that non-conformist is a description of all forms of Christianity that did not conform to the practices of the Church of England, from the 17th century onwards.