Any Witches Here? Part 15

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.

A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration.

Hi All can I join in? I am pretty much as lone witch, generally work around weaving intension through the day to day. I love all the seasons equally but absolutely love the change as we start to switch from season to season. I love the ground, trees and especially woods.

Much like @queenrollo I have been to an event this weekend which had really drained me. I believe I am empathetic, but usually quite grounded however my boundaries were really breeched this weekend, I work with people too so by the end of day I was feeling quite broken . I have now meditated and salt bathed and I feel so much better, but I shall prepare better next time.

Finding and reading this thread also helped bring some calm, especially the tree pictures.

Blessed be

@Aerwyna that is beautiful and brought a tear to my eye.

I adore my dp. But if refuse to open up and depend on him for anything 'I have got this' is something I say again and again.

Its not healthy. It IS my response to not having anyone I know would back me up. I remember quietly crying in the car on the way home from my parents after my mum has shown me, again, that she wasn't ever in my corner. My (now ex) H asking me what's wrong. I told him I just wished someone was in my corner. He couldn't even bring himself to pretend and say 'but I am always in your corner' I didn't want his lies. But I remember, the fact that he knew it would be ridiculous to even try and comfort me, broke something in me. As I truly realised it wasn't that I felt alone. It was that I was alone.

Whilst me and dp have a good relationship. I can't and won't let him in fully. I can only describe it as like when you can hear the TV from another room. You knew it's on. You may even be able to tell what programme it is, but you don't exactly what's being said or happening. I love him. But its a muffled version of love.

On a brighter note. I have 5 sunflower heads with seeds harvested and drying out. Hopefully a few more before the end of the year. My dd has some recipes she has seen on tik too she wants to try. So it would be good to have spares.

And the rest of this week I will be pulling up my dahlia bulbs, to split, dry and bag up, ready for spring planting again. I need to come up with a better natural slug repellent for next year. Egg shells worked well but we don't eat enough eggs to protect them all, all spring and summer.

whoisyennefer a warm welcome, I am very glad you have joined us. Most of us are solitaries too, but lovely to chat with like minds.
I am sorry to hear of your challenging weekend, you are very wise to recognise it, take steps to heal the breech, and think about protection strategies for the future- all work of great power and wisdom!
Hekatestorch I understand your need for protection, and how that can actually limit us. Don;t give up hope though, we are on a journey, healing and change is absolutely possible.
Learning to open the heart can bring great abundance and like Aerwyna this thread has helped to show me how to do that. My own close family have helped as they grow, my children and my OH, they have shown me that trust can be a real and valuable thing. Shadow work with my inner child has helped oo, showing her that she has me to support her, even when safety nets were broken.

A sunny cold morning here, just starting my morning ritual. A yoga class in the next village at 9am, then making some aphrodite candles. My indoor tomato and chilli plants need their final harvest, their leaves are turning golden. I need to put the plants to compost and clear out the porch - but then I can put up some autumn decorations as it is now September!
Have a magical day sisters!

A grey and cool morning to start off September here. I was woken early by a neighbour's dog barking - which it rarely does, but has unsettled me as I could then hear voices and this particular neighbour (who is wonderful) is having an awful and protracted series of anti-social behaviour from their newest neighbour. Most often this dreadful person is instigating violent threats in the very early morning. There is very much more to this tale, but needless to say the relevant authorities are useless. As I walk end to end in my village I weave little bits of protection into the trees and hedgerows to try and bring a peaceful resolution.

welcome @whoisyennefer and you have my sisterly understanding with regard to the weekend and how it impacts on our empathic energy. Even though I was with a very positive and often nurturing crowd, it was still so much more energy than I have been used to. I had clearly developed an ability over the years to concentrate on one energy and mute the others and underestimated how this had been an unconscious daily skill which has evaporated during the isolation of the last year.

@speakout thank you for your kind words of encouragement. My only complete trust, at the moment is in my goddesses and gods. My dp can't ever prove he has my back because I don't let him into a position where he could show it. He obviously tries where he can. But both of us agree, these are the bare minimum a decent person can do. Not cheat, not talk about me behind my back etc. The big things are a step I need to yet, take.

I need to do more work so I can take that first step and am resolved to do so.

It is a very autumn morning here too. The roofers have shown up, yay. But they are testing my infinite patience and understanding. But making them a brew enables me to send some positivity their way and hope they spread it as they work.

My morning ritual at the moment consists of standing in the garden and making sure both dogs go to the toilet, rather than just roll around playing. And the most yoga I do is stretching to pick up their leavings.

But I actually feel energised to do a little more for myself. I sat outside and enjoyed quietness, took a nice long shower. I am feeling more positive than I have done in while and have been inspired, by this thread, to get some treatments booked in for myself. I think I need some time to invest in myself.

Hope you are all well, feels strange to be greeting the Autumn when I feel like we barely saw Summer. I definitely struggle more over Autumn/Winter, I feel like I need the sun and warmth to recharge myself, but I'm trying to focus on the positives to make it easier this year. We've moved to a new area, with some gorgeous walks around us and a big garden with lots of wildlife in it, so I'm trying to focus on how this is the first year I get to see how Autumn colours paint the garden. Or the fact that Samhain is getting closer (I love both the deeper ancestral celebrations of Samhain, and the playful commercial gaudyness of Halloween).

Just flying in for a quick pit stop with a very welcome peppermint tea. It seems to be all go over here at the moment. But that’s fine, incoming autumn all brings me energy and a sense of possibility so it’s a good time for it. Autumn sunshine is my favourite, those bright crisp days that meld freshness and warmth- always cheers me on.

I’m sorry to hear of my sisters experiences of the trust issue of ultra independence, and the being hurt or let down that lead to us developing these defence mechanisms. Like speakout I have found shadow work and soothing my inner child invaluable in working with this. Catching glimpses of the positive benefits of being open and vulnerable with someone you can trust is encouragement to step in a little deeper, for what is life without true connection.

I also had a wake up call around this some time ago on reading a perspective that to withhold the ability to offer support from others could be viewed as a selfish or even controlling act. At odds with the ‘not putting on anyone’ narrative I’d developed and perhaps a harsh way to view what is essentially damage, but for me it was a helpful shift. All relationships are an exchange of energy- give and take and to withhold another’s ability to give to me if they wish to is not a loving act. If I’m the only one giving I’m making myself more important in a way. Now, if I value someone’s energy in my life I’ll make an effort to be with the discomfort of opening up. Small steps within my own boundaries. Tapping into and trusting my intuition. The defence mechanisms that are triggered by past experiences tend to represent the worst of what we’ve been through, ironically I think the way to heal is to allow ourselves to have a different experience rather than shut ourselves down. I think if we do that then we are more likely to stay there, the very place that’s too painful to go. Familiar if not comfortable. We’re all different of course and for me it’s slow and steady work in progress- well worth it for a richer life.

I agree that much of it stems (for me too) from the mother wound, or certainly primary caregivers. It can be dark and painful inner work and only we know ourselves when it’s safe to go there. Sometimes it’s not the right time and we just need to be as kind to ourselves as possible, practice self nurture and support.

Being here amongst such likeminded women has helped me develop new narratives around trust and mutual support, I see evidence of this in my day to day experience. Scary at times but not so much as staying in the dark places I’ve been before

It’s wonderful to read of reaping harvests, of magic transmitted through tea and plans for self nurture. I love the thought of us all going about our magic, dotted around geographically yet weaving similar magic, a very strengthening thought

Wishing everyone a magical afternoon

Thought provoking discussion about trusting others. Aerwyna the post you shared yesterday really made me think. I'm very cautious about trusting others (especially men) due to past experiences. I realise that I've built up a shield around me, I'm very independent and like to do things myself and there are only a few people I really trust not to let me down. Maybe my expectations of others are too high? I know I always do whatever I can to offer practical and emotional support when others need it. When people have let me down or not been there for me in the past, I've felt so hurt, it's made me not want to rely on others and I've learned to deal with things by myself.

Speakout. like you, I've been for minor surgery before and not told anyone, not even my Mum who would have supported me practically, but she would have fussed and I would have found that hard to cope with.

On a brighter note, it's good to read about how you've all been nurturing yourselves.. facials, yoga, walking in the trees, being in the garden...all so good for the soul.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts @Aerwyna, this really resonated it's me. Over the last weekend two people went out of their way to help me, it came as a surprise to me as normally I'm the person who helps others. These two people I shall treasure dearly and nurture future relationships with.

I always smile about the synchronisation between this thread and life outside it. Today I received a Kelpie postcard!

TotoAnnihiliation I love the Kelpie postcard!!
A quiet calm day here, yesterday was stressful, my elderly mother collapsed while out on a walk with friends- an ambulance was called as she was unresponsive for a while. She is better now and resting at home. Caring for elderly ones can be challenging!!
I have been listening to this youtube video about self care and boundaries, full of juicy nuggets- like the idea of keeping your cup so full so that others can have the overflow. Worth listening to- it's over an hour long, but not much to see, all the info is in conversation form, so would be great to listen to while travelling, gardening or some other task.

@speakout I hope your mum will recover quickly. I understand the draining activities of caring for elderly relatives, it's physical and mental. I loved my elderly relatives dearly but I did spend some of time gritting my teeth whilst trying to think enjoy them whilst they are here.

TotoAnnihiliation

You understand. Thankyou. I

Just having some Chamomile and honey tea as I settle my bones for the evening.
I am a fierce early to bed person, fuelled by a love of early mornings, I don’t I have seen it dark outside for months! 9pm is my usual bedtime and a soft alarm wakes me at 6am- every morning. I think I would be the worst clubber in town!

Doing a quick flypast and scattering stardust in my wake, with a quick nighttime cuppa from the Magic Teapot.

Tonight it's black-dark, last night it was so clear the stars looked almost close enough to touch.

Fascinating discussions about trust, support and your protective shield.

I'm the opposite of you Speakout I love the night and its velvet silence, rarely in bed before 2am, often much later.
I hope your mother recovers soon, elder-care can be trying at times, but it's also a source of much learning and insight.

BlankTimes good to see you. I love the night too- and in Scotland we have very short days- I thrive in the darkness!
I love early mornings because I have time to myself, OH and DS are owls and often padding about in the small hours. Getting up early means I have lots of time to myself to practice my morning rituals alone without interruption.

Good morning sisters. I'm pleased to be at the end of another working week. I'm looking forward to some rest this weekend, I'm determined to carve some time out for me! It looks like we may be blessed with some warm weather so I may take a trip down to the coast. The sea is calling me!

Speakout I'm relieved to hear your Mother is making a good recovery. I can imagine how difficult it much be for you at times.

I don't think I'm really an early bird or a night owl. I like to be in bed by about 10 to get cosy and read for an hour. I normally get up around 8 (which feels like a luxury after years of getting up at 6.30 to commute to work!) I'm enjoying the darker evenings, drawing the curtains and lighting my candles and cocooning myself in my home.

Good morning! The sun is out here, which is very welcome as it's been rather dismal this week. I love Autumn but I don't feel I'm quite ready for a reminder of the on-coming Winter yet! It's noticeable that it's not quite daylight yet when my alarm goes off, and that the darker evenings are drawing in. I like my evening yoga by candlelight, but I already miss being able to do it with all the windows open and to look up at blue skies...

@HillsBesideTheSea That's a useful definition of mythology, folk tales and fairy tales, thank you. If it's of interest there's a series called "You're Dead To Me" on BBC Sounds which is a history podcast covering less well-known areas. Greg Jenner who hosts it is excellent, and the most recent episode is on fairy tales.

I agree the change in seasons takes a shift of gear. I truly love all seasons, there is magic to be found in the whole cycle. But autumn is especially dear to me. My besom is able to be displayed without questions being asked.
One of the wonderful things about a pagan path is that we have so many festivals if we choose to celebrate- the sabbats, the cross quarters, new moons, full moons, dark moons.
Every month there is a reason to celebrate the spiral of life.

Hello all.

@speakout I hope your mum gets better quickly.

I brewed up some 'autumn blessings' today. Essentially lime and and lemons and whichever herbs I feel is appropriate. Use the steam to clear the house. I have kept the infused water as I am going to start my autumn clearing tomorrow and the water will go in the mix for washing the doors and windows and wooden floors. Dp got up and saw what was on the hob and just said 'we having a big cleaning day tomorrow then?'.... he knows me so well . The roof is finished. Just the scaffolding to come down. Fingers crossed for Monday.

Please can I get some advice? A friend of a friend(both witches) makes candles. I ordered one to support their business, in march. It was pricy and was coming from the US. My friend and her friend then fell out badly. It then spilled onto social media. While I am sure there was wrong on both sides. The candle maker went really too far and did some very damaging things to my friend. My friend then dropped off the grid. She is OK. But really withdrawn from everyone.

My candle didn't turn up. I decided to stop chasing it as I was aware the candle maker had some real problems of their own. I was going to try and claim the money back, but decided if that's how they were going to try and make money (by ripping people off) that would come back on them. After some meditation, I decided I could afford to write the money off and they would need to deal with the consequences or it would eventually turn up.

So about 2 hours ago a package was delivered. As soon as I saw it, I felt uneasy, not happy like I usually am when I get a delivery. I opened it, still feeling uneasy. Dp said I was opening it like it was a bomb. And it's the candle.

I can't decide wether to use it or not. I feel a bit uneasy. Not sure if it's the energy of the candle I feel uneasy about. Or using the work of someone I, now, know has sketchy morals. Or of the intention on the candle is not what it should be. Or just because I still I am betraying my friend, by using it. I just feel odd about it.

Its a very beautiful candle. It cost quite a bit. Would I be ridiculous to get rid of it?

Hekatestorch

Thank you for your kind support.My mother is still a little fragile and tired, but will recover.

I am feeling the same about Autumn Blessings. Took down tomato plants today, i feltt a little sad, but good to clear space. Driveway is finished- a nasty business- and may turn to decoration my living room .
DD dropped in today full of the energy of wild Irish spaces, sea and wilderness, - she has had a few days visiting a friend, and brought me some cowrie shells she collected from the beach. She knows my love for simple gifts!
Hekatestorch I feel you have already answered your dilemma. I too would feel jaded, and although there may be faults all around burning this candle will perhaps remind you or re- ignite the conflict in your mind. Would not be ridiculous at all to get rid of it Your OH is a sensitive person too.
I would feel exactly as you do.

@speakout thank you. You speak wisely. Thank you. You are right. I will be disposing of it. I wouldn't even feel comfortable passing it to someone else.

And actually, something just hit me. It was an financial abundance candle that I felt I needed for a certain ritual I was doing and I planned around the candle. My runes have kept telling me that I didn't need the thing I thought I did to reach my goals. And that thing was holding me back and that could break through without it. As its been so long since I ordered the candle, I couldn't work out was this thing I didn't need. I had forgotten about it by this point.

My finances improved and all my financial issues resolved themselves over the summer. Without the candle. That was the thing. When I ordered it, I thought I needed it and planned a spell around it. I have never used it, but achieve my goals anyway. My focus shifted to setting intentions through growing flowers and herbs.

Funny how things all fall into place.

Again, thank for sharing your wisdom.

Hekatestorch your post has given me bumps.
How wise you are to work this out, all the convolutions, and find out that you are the source!! I love hearing your story. I celebrate your success.
You are a powerful woman dear sister.

@speakout thank you, your words have really touched me.

I don't feel powerful. I feel a bit silly tbh. I thought the runes were saying I didn't need money, to solve my money problems (another hangover from exh) and was confused. Eventually, just threw myself into the garden, studying, the kids and dogs and trusted it would work itself out.

I think there's a lesson for me. Trust the process, trust myself (trust issues again) and trust in my own power.

The candle is gone. I covered it in a herbal pol blend I use and sent whatever energy, good or bad back, to the sender. If they did intend ill will because of my friendship with the mutual person, it will go back and they will need to deal with it. If it was good will they intended, they will be blessed.

I have to say, I have been on MN over 10 years. I have often wanted to join your threads, but felt too self conscious too. But I couldn't be more happy that I took the plunge.

You are beautiful group of souls. You have brought me to happy tears several times already. I bless the day I decided to join.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Good morning! The sun is out here, which is very welcome as it's been rather dismal this week. I love Autumn but I don't feel I'm quite ready for a reminder of the on-coming Winter yet! It's noticeable that it's not quite daylight yet when my alarm goes off, and that the darker evenings are drawing in. I like my evening yoga by candlelight, but I already miss being able to do it with all the windows open and to look up at blue skies...

@HillsBesideTheSea That's a useful definition of mythology, folk tales and fairy tales, thank you. If it's of interest there's a series called "You're Dead To Me" on BBC Sounds which is a history podcast covering less well-known areas. Greg Jenner who hosts it is excellent, and the most recent episode is on fairy tales.

I love You're Dead to Me! I listen to it when I'm doing my housework. I find it chills me out and I barely notice I'm doing the housework.

I should probably get with the 21st centry tbh. But i like my low tech life with no tv and just if you catch it radio, with the only what you select youtube type stuffs. I will investigate the recommend podcast recommended, thank you!!! Do I have time to consider my life choices or is it time sensitive to catch up with do you know @BrightYellowDaffodil?

Hello, I've only just thought to look for a pagan/ Wiccan thread on here. So glad I did. May I join?