I abhor feeling weak
This is a shadow I wrangle with too moregarlic, like anything we push aside it returns again until I face it head on! In more objective moments I can see how unrealistic it is to berate myself for not being on top form in situations that it would be a superhuman anomaly to be unaffected by. Like Hills, I believe that as women we are taught to push on regardless which is ridiculous if you think about it.
Fear of being vulnerable in any way is natural but it takes a lot of energy to keep up a pretence with ourselves too. I’ve been learning that feeling this way is a sign to give ourselves space, rather than push on.
Perhaps an obscure reference, but one I feel you may relate to as I did- have you watched ‘My Octopus teacher’ on Netflix? The octopus is an incredibly strong and wily creature, no one would objectively call her weak. Yet she is wise enough to retreat, self protect, and indeed exercise patience at times when circumstances mean she is more vulnerable. If she’d pushed herself like us humans are prone to do, she would not have survived. As the title suggests, I think we can learn a lot from her.
Violet how wonderful to hear of your reading with DS1, I can imagine what a powerful experience that was. I agree, there’s treasure in trusting our intuition. I love how you have passed on this gift to him.
I’m interested in hearing everyone’s perspectives of the tarot and have been thinking about the way in which they reflect the human experience. I see them less as a fortune telling tool and more as a mirror to the energies at play. It makes sense to me that they reflect both the light and the shade, as Sabel says, one is impossible without the other.
I think we’re naturally predisposed to be more pleased to see the sun or the ten of cups than the ten of three of swords but if we shy away from the latter we’re missing a trick and taking an unrealistic view of life I think.
For example, like speakout, I see the three of swords as a reflection of our own pain. To me, it’s relevant that there is no blood coming from the heart where the swords pierce it. Rather than being new wounds, they have been there for a long time and the pain they have caused is something we’ve got used to living with. It may longer be relevant but could still be impacting on our day to day experience, the way we relate to others etc. Because we’re used to it doesn’t mean we have to continue to live with it. In fact it would probably serve us to look at how these old wounds are impacting on our experience now and what capacity we have to let this go, to move on. We often hold on to old pain for no other reason than it being familiar.
Likewise, the ten of swords to me does represent a sense of betrayal, something we all experience in life and of course, a painful experience. But as we lie on the ground, feeling the impact of a full set of swords, we have already seen the face of who (or what) has betrayed us, it is now walking away from us. This particular experience is over and our job is to tend to our wounds, recover and put measures in place to prevent ‘future attacks’. We can only do this once we have seen the face of the aggressor. Which of course can be a metaphor for any life circumstance. If we don’t know what makes us feel this way we have less power to learn and change.
There’s no denying that the tarot can be a powerfully rich, deep and sometimes uncomfortable tool to work with. But then life’s like that isn’t it- a whole mixture of darkness and light. To exist in one of these places without allowing space for the other would make for a one dimensional and unrealistic experience.
I think our ‘work’ is in our self awareness. Sometimes we’re not in a place to be open to it all. Like the octopus we must retreat and protect ourselves until we feel stronger.
As BlankTimes and speakout were saying the other day, these are the times when we might step away from the tarot as a tool. I agree there are many oracle/goddess/healing card decks out there that will serve to soothe and uplift without the introspection that the tarot can engender. These can be powerful tools when we are not in the place to dive into self exploration. A time and place for everything, sometimes we play in the intrigue of the shadows, sometimes we need to bask in warmth and light.
Have a magical Friday sisters