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Original poster

Any secular Jewish mums--Hanukkah question

146 replies

Arabica · 13/10/2004 12:44

I'm from a Jewish background, my DH isn't. I was given a hideous, brainwash-style orthodox religious education which I hated every moment of from age 5. However, I know it doesn't have to be that way. I'd love to take DS to a Hannukah party or something similar where he can hear songs, see the candles, and maybe I can meet some like-minded parents, who see their cultural heritage as something to celebrate, even if they aren't believers and/or have married 'out'. I'm in N London.

OP posts:

lisalisa · 07/12/2004 11:06

Holly and twiglett - from the left inwards

Kaysleighbells · 07/12/2004 11:24

I rang the restaurant and we can't book. But they will open at 6:00 as it is Chanukah. If we meet at 10 mins to 6 and wait outside till it opens I'm pretty sure he'll let us in once we are all there as he says they are there from 5:30 but it takes a while for the ovens to heat up, which is why he said he'd be ready at 6. He is expecting 18 of us !!!

Very excited about meeting you all. Bit nervous too.

crunchie · 07/12/2004 11:39

I had to ask the candle lighting question too. The way it was explained to me is that you start fillingt he Menorah from the Right hand side, then you light the newest candle first - does that make sense.

I am so excited about tonight my dd's have made their own menorah form loo rolls/tissue/cereal boxes. We got given a driedel on Sunday and they are getting a princess tiara/boa thing tonight

lisalisa · 07/12/2004 12:03

The guy who owns Slice actually has kids in our school - last time he recognised us cos the kids were in uniform - he proabbly will again. Prefer not to say where we all know eachother from if you don't mind as it sounds downright weird to the uninitiated - if he asks I'll just say we're all friends!!

Shabbos finishes on sat night at just before 5.00 and dh comes home from synagogue at about 5.45. He likes to shower first and relax a bit before going out which would make the deadline too tight - think I may therefore come by myself with all 4 hoping that this will be ok? Bit worried about dd3 who is only 13 months as this is kind of bath and wind down time and I don't want her to be screaming all through!! Will try my best for a late afternoon sleep for her!

Kaysleighbells · 07/12/2004 12:10

lisalisa, I always go with the "friends" thing too. "We met on the Internet" does sound completely nuts doesn't it. In fact i'm sure if a friend told me she was meeting people "she met on the internet" I would have her certified

Maybe your dh could come down a bit later to meet us for the Menorah bit ? If he doesn't am sure we can all manage - we'll have a good adult to child ratio anyway.

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 07/12/2004 12:33

hang on

that's one vote for left inwards and one for right inwards???

have a lovely time tonight guys (would love to come next year if you do it again .. DD goes to bed too early though ATM)

Kaysleighbells · 07/12/2004 14:15

It's not tonight TheHollyAndTheTwiglett, it's saturday we are meeting up. At least I hope it is

Original poster

Arabica · 07/12/2004 21:46

I did our menorah! I got DH and very bemused DS to put on hats and then followed the order of service in a book about Hannukah I got out of the library. (which said light them right to left, like you read Hebrew writing)I really enjoyed doing it. We are doing a class tomorrow which takes place in a synangogue so maybe they'll have their candles lit somewhere.
Looking forward to cafe at 6pm, am slightly concerned, however, that we won't finish eating in time to see the candles, get back in cars and find parking close enough to see the candles being lit. What do other people think about the logistics?

OP posts:

cori · 07/12/2004 22:15

Hi Guys
Just confirming , me DH and DS will be there too.

Am looking forward to the night.

lisalisa · 08/12/2004 10:49

Yes you're right Arabica - its not that much time is it? We;ll have to be quick and take any leftovers with us to munch at the candle lighting.

We're def going to go to Chanukah Wonderland afterwards - my dd begged me so much I can't really refuse. Candlei lighting will probably end shortly after 7.20 ish so if anyone else's kids are still up for it you're all welcome.

Original poster

Arabica · 08/12/2004 12:24

I think Wonderland sounds like an experience not to be missed--but (and please don't take this the wrong way) I'm a bit worried about how accepting the people running it will be towards non-Jews/non-observant secular Jews. I've been preached at in the street in GG before by a very enthusiastic outreach team of Lubavitch who weren't interested in my lifestyle, only telling me about theirs.

OP posts:

lisalisa · 08/12/2004 13:10

Arabica, Lubavitch are an outreach organisaiton which means ( and is supposed to be) exactly what it says - an organisation to reach out to jews who are unaffiliated or secular or just not interested. They will therefore have no problem with you and yours looking "secular".

I have actually just called ( as I know the organiser of these events fairly well) and she says that secular jews as well as those who have married out but whose children are jewish are very welcome. She even said that she'd be looking out for us on sat night!!!! The place where Chanukah Wonderland is on do some other great stuff - cookery classes, ballet, tae kwon do, soft play for toddlers etc as well as some enlightened stuff for parents like fine art classes and self awareness courses. Quite a few "secular " mums attended the last one with me. Everyone very friendly and inclusive.

Leave it up to you. Perhaps children would be tired anyway or perhaps more fired up and ready to go!!! As mine span such a wide age range ( from 1 to 8) I'll really have to play it by ear. Don't want to ruin everyone's evening with a screaming baby frantic for bed!!

Original poster

Arabica · 08/12/2004 14:11

sounds very interesting!

OP posts:

Kaysleighbells · 08/12/2004 21:25

I agree the logistics for saturday night aren't brilliant time wise - but as we don't have any choice, the restaurant won't be open earlier - I guess we just play it by ear. We can always take away as lisalisa says, and worst that can happen is we end up in cars covered in Pizza

Original poster

Arabica · 09/12/2004 00:18

Luckily DS has a part-time job as a pizza-hoover

OP posts:

Kaysleighbells · 09/12/2004 11:05

LOL Arabica

Original poster

Arabica · 09/12/2004 11:59

I am thinking of bringing some choccy coins--anyone prefer their kids NOT to have chocolate? I will be buying them from the local Jewish shop so they'll be kosher.

OP posts:

lisalisa · 09/12/2004 12:51

Arabica, my kids ( and dh and I ) only eat kosher with hechsher which means rabbinical supervision. Wouldn't dream of embarrassing you by refusing choccie though. Could you possibly check whether the choccie has a hechsher ( its lots of hebrew writing with a seal) or alternatively ask for hechshered choccie when you go into the shop. Kosher shops do sell choccie which doesn't have a hechsher but is still considered kosher ( like after eights for instance).

Thanks.

Kaysleighbells · 09/12/2004 13:12

Same sort of thing with my kids. They will only eat chocolate if it has a label on saying "Chocolate".

Original poster

Arabica · 09/12/2004 14:55

I of course only eat syn-counted chcocolate for I am a dedicated and committed Slimming World follower

OP posts:

Kaysleighbells · 09/12/2004 15:34

And I only eat low point chocolate as a loyal and steadfast weight watchers follower.
I have also been known to eat food off other peoples plates as I understand there are no calories in that. So watch out

hollybet · 09/12/2004 16:13

Sorry to barge in, but was just browsing on things that are nothing to do with me at all, Kayleigh, I am surprised that you are Jewish - you know how it is with people that you talk to on here, you get mental pictures of them in your mind. I had you in my mind as an attractive, blue eyed blonde with long hair. I need to cross this out and go more down the Nigella Lawson route.

So, can I ask what Hannukah is?

spacedonkey · 09/12/2004 16:14

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Jewish!

hollybet · 09/12/2004 16:18

ok, sorry - I'm obviousy suffering from stereotypeitis

I shall go back to a blonde Kayleigh

hollybet · 09/12/2004 16:21

And I don't want this to sound wrong, but have actually never met anyone who is Jewish and am really fascinated by the culture and beleifs although I know nothing about it other than stereotypes - which I have just made blindingly obvious

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