Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Original poster

Any secular Jewish mums--Hanukkah question

146 replies

Arabica · 13/10/2004 12:44

I'm from a Jewish background, my DH isn't. I was given a hideous, brainwash-style orthodox religious education which I hated every moment of from age 5. However, I know it doesn't have to be that way. I'd love to take DS to a Hannukah party or something similar where he can hear songs, see the candles, and maybe I can meet some like-minded parents, who see their cultural heritage as something to celebrate, even if they aren't believers and/or have married 'out'. I'm in N London.

OP posts:
prettycandles · 13/10/2004 20:33

Hi Arabica, my background is similar to yours...actually, so is my present! How old is your ds? Mine is 4 and dd will be 2 around Hannukah.

froot · 13/10/2004 21:43

message withdrawn

Amfs · 13/10/2004 21:45

Do you not have any siblings / family who might celebrate Hannukah

Amfs · 13/10/2004 21:46

BTW DS (3.7) goes to pre-school and the school sends home a newsletter and they cover Hannukah as part of Religious Studies .. maybe his school could do a Hannukah party?

Kayleigh · 13/10/2004 22:01

Arabica, I am Jewish and dh isn't. Last year we had the chanukah candles and the xmas tree up at the same time !! How old is your ds ? My boys are 6 and 3. The eldest did learn about Chanukah in school last year. Plus my mum has been buying them books on each festival in the past year or so and I read the story to them. I think we have Chanukah and Pesach so far !

Whereabout in North London are you ? I'm only just outside N London. You are more than welcome to come and light the candles at me.

prettycandles · 14/10/2004 14:24

Does anyone feel a Hannukah meetup coming on? One thing I miss from childhood is the big Hannukah party, every family bringing their Hannukiah and all lighting candles together. Anyone fancy it?

Neither trying to impose on you, Kayleigh, nor over-ride you here, but I'd be willing to host it. I#m in NW London, BTW.

Original poster
Arabica · 14/10/2004 19:09

My internet phone line developed a fault last night just as was replying to everyone. PCandles, thanks for your message, DS is 3.5. Froot, I know what you mean re weird bond. Amfs, if I had relatives who could help, I wouldn't be posting this message! My parents wouldn't have known a joyous cultural experience if it leapt out of a hedge and bit them. Siblings, none. Other family, zilch. Thanks for suggestion re pre-school but DS doesn't go to one and even if he did I wouldn't know how to do a Hannukah party, hence desire to meet other people who do. PC re your second message, and Kayleigh's, sounds great, I don't have any happy Hannukah memories to recall so it's about time I created some! I just don't want to feel like an outsider for not knowing any words/ritual so I wouldn't want to be only person who doesn't know one end of a menorah from an er, matzoh...

OP posts:
prettycandles · 14/10/2004 20:45

Arabica, with so many of us having non-Jewish partners, or having grown up without much contact with the religion, you certainly won't be the only one trying to light a matzah if we do a Hannukah meet-up.

First lesson in creating Hannukah memories:

Latkes (mmm, nice if they're well made - ie not by me )
Donuts (mmmmyummy)
Chocolate money (mmmmyummy yummy)

Original poster
Arabica · 15/10/2004 00:08

Dreidels????? I learned that on South Park.

OP posts:
Kayleigh · 15/10/2004 16:17

I remember Dreidels - the spinning top things ! never realised South Park was so educational !! Prettycandles, I love the sound of a Hanukah meet-up !!! Not sure of dates though will have to check my diary. Do you want to start a thread !!!

Original poster
Arabica · 16/10/2004 01:53

It was a song about the Jewish one being fed up because he only got dreidels at Xmas when the non-Jews got pressies!

OP posts:
prettycandles · 17/10/2004 16:33

When I was at school my (non-Jewish) classmates would be jealous because I would get at least 8 presents - one or more each night of the festival - whereas they 'only' got their Xmas pressies. Definitely a case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, because what they never realised was that our Hannukah presents were the equivalent of their stocking-fillers, and we only got mega-presents on our birthdays.

On a more serious note, while I'd love to host a Hannukah party, I'm suddenly getting cold feet about the idea of inviting 'strangers' into my home. I'm sure we're all genuine, but isn't it one of the 'rules' of internet friendships that you don't invite people that you have only ever met on the internet into your home until you know them in RL? I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying this! How could we get around this?

Twiglett · 17/10/2004 16:39

you really shouldn't invite internet 'friends' into your home but maybe you could arrange a meet-up somewhere and have a hanukkah party .. how about renting a hall (do synagogue's rent them as cheaply as the local church for £25)

lisalisa · 18/10/2004 11:25

Message withdrawn

sleeplessmumof2 · 18/10/2004 11:46

agree with Lisa Lisa that the communal lighting ceremony in Golders Green may be a good place to start if no one manages to come up with a better safer solution. If anyone does come up with a party please let me know i'd love to join in too!!!

prettycandles · 18/10/2004 14:48

Excellent idea, Lisalisa! OK, shall we have a meetup at the Golder's Green Hannukiah? I know it's not the same as our own party, but it's a start.

I imagine Lubavitch will have a website with details on it?

Original poster
Arabica · 18/10/2004 22:18

Yes yes yes! Thank you for this really useful suggestion Lisalisa and for the rest of your interesting post. Every year I have heard about this ceremony and wanted to go but thought I would be lonely if I went on my own. I have a hannukah menorah already but the candle-holders are a really awkward shape. I am thinking of buying one for DS. I should be able to get one near where I live--I'm near Stamford Hill (oy vey!) Should we go near the end of the festival so we can see lots of (pretty) candles?

OP posts:
prettycandles · 19/10/2004 14:49

Consulting my calendar, I see that the first candle will be lit on the evening of Tuesday 7 December, and the last on Tuesday 14 December. So would we go for a weekend evening (about 5 candles) or for a 'school' evening (more candles)?

Kayleigh · 19/10/2004 15:14

I'd be up for this depending on which day you choose. Busy week for us as we have school Xmas concert for ds1, my work xmas do and my birthday. Have also been invited for Chanukah tea on the Sunday as my cousin is married to an Israeli girl, so looking forward to that very much.

Kayleigh · 19/10/2004 15:17

Public Menorahs
No timings yet.

Original poster
Arabica · 19/10/2004 17:51

Thanks for the website linkit looks interesting, I've always wanted to know about the Lubavitch community (we have lots around our way). Anyway I could go to Golders Green any night except the Weds or Thur. I'm so pleased! Ideally I would like to go on Sat or Sun night so DH can come too, but I'm not fussy. Has anyone been beforedoes it get v crowded?

OP posts:
Kayleigh · 20/10/2004 14:14

Oooh yes, would be nice for dh to come. And we could do the sat eve too. Maybe take the kids out for something to eat after??? Then they can scoff while we chat .

Original poster
Arabica · 20/10/2004 14:30

Shall we make it a date then? I like the idea of food afterwards.

OP posts:
Kayleigh · 20/10/2004 14:32

Ok, I'm game

Saturday 11th December. Time to be confirmed.
We will need to decide on a definite meeting place too as I guess there'll be loads of people milling about. Maybe outside McDonalds ?

lisalisa · 20/10/2004 14:52

Message withdrawn

Swipe left for the next trending thread