Not coming to child's birthday party on a Sunday

[TheZebraCrosser]

I've received an RSVP response from a parent who is a fellow Christian declining an invitation to a child's birthday party meal at 5pm on a Sunday 'as they keep Sundays for church services and fellowship'

Er, surely celebrating a child's birthday is fellowship.?

I feel a tad irked by this almost as if I'm being scolded for daring to do something as evil as having a birthday party on a Sunday.

Sigh,,,, are there really still such legalistic attitudes?!

I'm unsure how to respond. Any ideas?

There’s no need for any response, beyond ‘Thanks for letting me know that XXXX isn’t coming.”

We are Christians and would decline invitations that clash with our Sunday service but not in the afternoon... unusual I would say but everyone makes their own choices. I’d just say thanks for letting me know.

“Ok, no problem, thanks for letting me know”.

Don’t take it personally, they’re being honest. At least they did RSVP, the ones that leave you hanging annoy me far more.

Golden, why on earth can't you have a hot meal??!

You can talk to God wherever you are. You don't have to go to a church service.

We keep Sundays for family, church family and very special occasions.

I don't think it's legalistic to do so, the weekends can otherwise be taken up with one party after another when they're little and never have much time together as a family. I'm not judging anyone who does it differently, and I don't think it's in any way wrong to attend or host a party on a Sunday, but it's easier to have a blanket rule in our family.

I'd just reply to say "thanks for letting me know, sorry the timing didn't work for you" or without the second bit, it doesn't really need a comment.

You don't have to respond other than say thanks for letting me know.

When a party clashes with church, I reply with "sorry we can't make it, we'll be at church". Do people find that rude?

The idea that you can't do certain things on a Sunday I find actually really bizarre and un-Christian.

Like God / Jesus would care... Jesus loved a good party.

And telling my son he can't celebrate his birthday on the actual day because it's Sunday...is madness. What would this other Christian have me do- make my son sit in church or read the bible all day?

Like 'how to turn your child against Christianity in one simple step'.

It smacks of legalism to me.

Why are you feeling ‘scolded’? They can’t come because they have a prior engagement. They are perfectly entitled to skip a child’s party for any reason, religion or family reasons or even just because kids’ parties are hell on earth. Their reasons are their own and not a reflection on you.

Also I would understand ‘fellowship’ in this instance to be fellowship in Christ and with other Christians which is very much not the same thing as a child’s party.

It sounds like they were being polite in their response as they explained their reasons why they couldn't come. Are you judging them for their decision though? That's worse if you are.

We had two refusals for DD's birthday party due to Ramadan. Happily Ramadan moves yearly, as we can't move DD's birthday. It happens.

Do you remember- but it doesn't clash with church surely- who has a service in Sun afternoon? And it didn't say it clashed with a service, just that they keep Sunday for church and fellowship.

What part of meeting with your friends for a birthday celebrations is not fellowship anyway?

Mm- no I am not judging them for their decision!

I'm saying there is nothing wrong with having party on a Sun and feel it was rude of them to couch the reply on those terms. A simple 'sorry he can't come' would have sufficed. I feel I am being judged for having party on a Sunday!

Did I miss the bit in your OP where they actually said that your child can’t celebrate on a Sunday? Or are you just making a drama out of a negative RSVP?

Fellowship means spending time with your church community.

People have different lives and beliefs. I’d just say that’s ok thanks for letting me know.

I think you're actually quite rude, many churches hold evening services, my DPs went to them every week. They haven't said you shouldn't be having the party, just that their DC can't attend, I don't see your problem

Many churches do have services on Sunday evenings. Mine has an evening mass. And many of the evangelical churches locally have services.

Would you be as offended if she was a different faith? Does it feel a bit like she’s saying she does Christianity better than you?

One of the 10 commandments is remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. For some people this means no parties, tv radio books unless religious scripts and so on. The Belfast marathon was run for the first time this year on a Sunday and there were people protesting about it.
I live in Northern Ireland and until recently leisure centres parks and shops were closed on a Sunday.

Ramadan I understand as the fasting element means you could not eat.

I hope I'm not making a drama, but I do fe the explanation was a subtle dig at my choice of timing.

Maybe I'm overreacting.

I come from a family who was not allowed to watch tv at all, not allowed to go to the cinema at all, not allowed to wear makeup or trousers... and not allowed to have any toys or do anything on Sunday other that sit still basically! (Because to do otherwise was "sinful" and would upset God.)

So maybe I am a bit sensitive about it as when I grew up I saw how wrong and pharisaical that attitude was.