Not coming to child's birthday party on a Sunday

[TheZebraCrosser]

I've received an RSVP response from a parent who is a fellow Christian declining an invitation to a child's birthday party meal at 5pm on a Sunday 'as they keep Sundays for church services and fellowship'

Er, surely celebrating a child's birthday is fellowship.?

I feel a tad irked by this almost as if I'm being scolded for daring to do something as evil as having a birthday party on a Sunday.

Sigh,,,, are there really still such legalistic attitudes?!

I'm unsure how to respond. Any ideas?

I think I would have taken it as a judgement on my own practice as a Christian too!

My church has services pretty much on and off all day on a Sunday and there are optional extras. She didn’t say “sorry we attend an afternoon service on a Sunday” though. I would see a child’s birthday party with a fellow Christian family as fellowship and as a Christian act in itself. The attitude here seems judgemental and un-Christian from the way I’ve taken it and it would lead me to question whether I’ve done something wrong by holding my child’s birthday celebration on a Sunday.

I don’t think you are wrong to feel irked OP, I would too! As a Christian, I don’t think you are doing anything wrong though.

I would see a child’s birthday party with a fellow Christian family as fellowship and as a Christian act in itself
^^
This,
That's what really upset me I think.

The fact that attending a birthday party with me and my family (fellow Christians) still did not quite cut it as "fellowship"

Thinking about it, it was quite common in my childhood for us to go to 11am service in the church and go straight to a birthday party in the church hall afterwards. Lots of generations in attendance, lots of Christians coming together to celebrate the gift of a child’s life and share a meal or buffet together. Presents were opened at home afterwards so as to be mindful of how other children might feel and not to put pressure on anyone who might not have been able to afford a gift but who were very welcome to join in the celebrations.

Very fond memories of those days, all tied up with the faith of my childhood.

@TheZebraCrosser it’s making me wonder what exactly “cuts it” as fellowship amongst Christian families! Seems to be a strange attitude. I’m catholic though and attend a very multi-cultural church. I’ve a friend who is an evangelical Christian who attends a very “modern” but strict church who take the bible very literally and for whom “Keep the Sabbath Holy” would mean something very different to them than it does to my tradition.

eleanor- I think it's quite 'clique' like.

There are Christian families who we go to the cinema with on a Sunday.

There are others who would be aghast as going to the cinema at all, let alone on a Sunday.

There are yet others who think fire and brimstone will rain down if they wear trousers, or if they go to church without a hat on.

It's part of a much bigger picture too.

I know many Christians who think gays are sinful. I'm not sure what this particular persons stance on that is though...

Personally I feel Jesus went out if his way to welcome people who felt themselves minorities/ discriminated against / "outsiders" and I feel he would welcome LGBT+ communities 🏳️‍🌈 with open arms. But that's just me.
God is love, it says in (the) my bible.

Gosh...I must be going to hell then as occasionally I’ve had to work on a Sunday luckily it’s in the catechism of the Catholic Church that if you have no choice but to work it’s ok .

May I ask what branch of Christianity it is? We do have some pockets of people around locally who take things a bit beyond the general understanding too and cover their daughters heads from birth in church (the men don’t cover their hair though!) and who refuse to let the women work or wear trousers etc. Christianity can be so different from person to person!

Eleanor, I think the family in question go to an independent evangelical church. I was brought up as a baptist but now go to a CofE church.

It's weird, isn't it, that there are so many different 'flavours' of Christianity when IMO Jesus made it all quite simple and clear. He must be tearing his hair out!

I struggle with the attitude towards LGBT people too!

The way that I look at it is that God must have created LGBT people for some purpose and I don’t see anything terribly explicit in the bible which condemns or explains either way. I feel I am in no position to judge or tell others how to live their lives and if I try to live my life with the same attitude and approach as Jesus then I couldn’t possibly see him ostracising people based on their sexuality which I don’t believe LGBT people get to choose or change. As you say God is love. And no one is exempt from that love, especially when it comes to things they have no control over.

I feel sorry for the child missing out on their friends birthday party.
But, each to their own!!
Don't feel scolded at all. Its absolutely fine & normal to have parties on a Sunday. You can't cater to everyone's chosen lifestyle. And they have chosen to be particularly strict.

Personally I'd have replied 'ok then, cheers for the rsvp' and probably wouldn't be inviting next year.

if I try to live my life with the same attitude and approach as Jesus then I couldn’t possibly see him ostracising people based on their sexuality
^^
Yes absolutely!

Susanba thank you

Yes the flavours get very confusing!

The issues are mainly “man made” though aren’t they? As you say, Jesus kept it pretty simple.

I think if we try to be as loving and kind as possible we can’t really go too far wrong. If we do make mistakes we do it out of love rather than judgement and hopefully God is understanding of that.

I’m pretty sure Jesus would have attended your little one’s birthday party and he’d be there eating cake and chatting away to everyone!

I’m pretty sure Jesus would have attended your little one’s birthday party and he’d be there eating cake and chatting away to everyone!

I know he would.

And whatever this other parent's take on it, that's an immense comfort to me. I know Jesus and I know what he would do. (If that makes me judgemental so be it!) I follow Christ. Which is kind of the whole point of being a Christian.

Are the children school age? If yes, there's no way they would go to a party at 5 pm on a Sunday.

That being said, as you admit yourself there are different "flavours" of Christianity. Your beliefs and practices will be different-to someone else's. None of you are necessarily wrong,but occasionally they might clash. Church and fellowship for them might mean two services and specific events/meeting with their congregation. For you it means enjoying life with your friends.

It might not be patronising/superior but instead information so you know in the future that they will not attend any Sunday events so you don't waste time/money on inviting them. They're telling you who they are and what they believe/how the act and it's up to you how you use that information.

That’s fabulous, it sounds like you have a great relationship with Him! Hope that it’s a wonderful celebration, despite this upset.

Yoursarcasm, thank you, fair points.

Eleanor, thank you so much. I'm sure it will be.
(It does occur to me that if must be very confusing for a non Christian to navigate all these complexities and flavours!)

even if she did mean to judge me I forgive her

Well that proves you are closer to Jesus than she is doesn't it.

I am not surprised there is so much factionalism within religions if a simple reply to a party invitation can be so intently scrutinised for insult, oneupmanship and judgment.

Viques, I don't really understand your post (maybe it's sarcastic?)

I would look at it as them being a completely different religion and that also being the reason for rejecting the invite. "E can't come because it's Ramadan", "we can't come because we don't celebrate birthdays" etc. Would you still feel judged then? Because despite both being Christians, you are observing different branches, with different rules, interpretations and customs. Neither is better,or more devout, or more right. Just different.

It's none of your business why someone wants to keep their Sunday free!

Kids make, I think you have missed the point entirely. Have you RTFT?

Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.
Romans 14:13‭-‬14

She shouldn't judge you, see Romans above. There's no prohibition of Sunday parties that I know of in the Bible, so to go or not is surely an issue of Christian freedom and wisdom.

I don't think there's a clear implication of judgement towards you in that text. To be honest, it wouldn't have occurred to me that anyone would judge someone for holding a party on a Sunday (unless it was a Christian hosting a party on Sunday morning - I'd at least think about whether declining in favour of church attendance came across as a rebuke). Probably because I don't move in circles where cinema going /hot meals etc are forbidden on a Sunday so it just seems alien to me.

I do like to have Sundays as a family after church where I can though because we work the other days, and after a morning at church it feels like there's precious family time left. I also see your point about fellowship, and would certainly not rule out going to a Christian friend's family home on a Sunday afternoon as not fellowshippy enough, but kids' parties don't usually seem like that to me. More bored parents making small talk while kids hare around.

I wouldn't reply to a text like she did, and I can see why you feel judged, but would hope it was not intended to come across that way. She might be used to sending that as a standard reply to Sunday party invitations and didn't think through that you are a Christian too.

The Ten Commandments says to remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy. That is not a man made rule!

In your opinion. Other opinions are available. Like mine....it's a man made rule.

Maybe they just included the bit about keeping Sundays for church etc to avoid only putting 'we can't make it' and thus pissing you off for not having a good reason for declining? i.e. for them it's a reason and not an excuse. You see it as the opposite and as them being rude.