All you atheist parents wondering how to broach the religion topic to your kids listen up!

[Rhubarb]

I'm a catholic and I teach my kids about all religions. I explain that some people believe different things and some people don't believe at all. I tell them what the Bible says about creation and what science says.

I tell them what my personal beliefs are but I encourage them to make their own minds up. I answer questions with "well this is what I believe but you might think something different".

I take them to Church and they know about the religion we follow, but I do encourage questions as far as I can bearing in mind their young ages.

So what I say to you is this. Don't put a barrier between yourselves and religion when it comes to your kids. Arm them with information and let them make their own minds up. If you push them a certain way, chances are that they'll reject it later on in life. Whereas if you add your support to whatever they decide to believe or not, it will give them the confidence to choose their own paths.

You may be disappointed in their choices but don't try to influence them too strongly one way or the other.

So says me.

[SueBaroo]

I guess we're not that far apart, really Rhubarb. Dd1 is just beginning to be aware that other people believe differently (and not just 'not in Jesus') and I am always at pains to be accurate with her about what they believe. We just don't present those things as all equal and 'you can believe what you want' pick a religion etc.

[ahundredtimes]

Is MuminBum's dead pet. She's referring to my original question - before we all got side tracked with the incense and holy relics, jeez you catholics are good - about what do we atheists say when pets, grandparents etc die.

[SueBaroo]

yeah, tongues does apparently make people happy. My best friend does it all the time, but she's not allowed to do it here, lol.

well, when I say all the time, she does speak normally quite a lot, too.

What was I saying, again?

[ahundredtimes]

Boco - now you see I just couldn't let it go I'm afraid. And I'm not sure I was absolutely right. DS2, with his fine sense of truth and justice, is incensed when they talk about god at school. He asks them all the time 'do you believe in god then?' He thinks they're liars. Hasn't gone v.well, but dd and ds1 can see the world is a little more grey than ds2 can manage.

Have to do a lot of 'respecting other people's faiths' with ds2 and 'think of it as a story ds2 - it's a good one isn't it'.

So you're probably right, but they ANNOY me so much with their seven days malarky and Jesus following them everywhere stuff.

[MuminBrum]

I haven't got to this stage with DS yet, but I plan to tell him that some people believe in god, and that there are lots of different religions to which these people belong, but that I do not believe in god myself. I can't see the dilemma - can a dilemma-sufferer elucidate for me please?

[ahundredtimes]

Is that me? no dilemma here, just aware of telling them things are not always as they are told at school.



Have established though, that I wish I could be a Catholic like Rhubarb's mum. That's now my current dilemma.

[Rhubarb]

My dh likes a bit of tongue action too, ahem.


Anyway. Yes back to Fluffy. So you keep a dead cat on your mantlepiece? How very, erm, odd!

I don't tell mine that pets go to pet heaven because I don't believe that there is such a place. tbh dd goes to her grandparents farm a lot and there death is all part of life. She knows where the meat we eat comes from, she has seen grandma spade a rat to death and she has watched a fresh pheasant being plucked and gutten (even had a talking commentary from grandma about which part did what) so she is ok with death. She accepts news of peoples deaths very well and so far hasn't asked where they go.

I'm not afraid to say that I don't know if I really don't.

I probably do indoctrinate them more than I think I do. It's hard not to force your beliefs onto your kids isn't it? But if you make time to actively talk to them about it, then you are giving them plenty to think about and you are arming them with information and knowledge - which never does anyone any harm does it?

[MuminBrum]

He's not on my mantelpiece, he's on my bookshelf! Do keep up!

[Boco]

I had ds2s problem - my parents were totally forceful about religion being Bad, Wrong and False. But possibly quite entertaining - as my dad was the teacher at this Catholic School, and so was friends with all the nuns, and enjoyed teasing them with his atheist ways.

Then, my dad ran off with his boss when i was 13. They got married, she was a High Church kind of Christian - sort that is friendly with the Vicar and uses religion as an important part of social standing. My dad married her in a church, and now accompanies her on sundays - and it makes me LIVID! He now claims to Believe! (but to be frank, he believes everything / anything, very fluid and not at all picky)

So, i think that's why i don't want to rule anything out for my kids if that makes sense. I don't want them to just blindly accept anything, even atheism.

[Rhubarb]

My mother is a baaaaaad example and if she were on Mumsnet she'd have you all ranting and raving at the shite she comes out with.

No sex before marriage. Mass every Sunday and on Holy Days or you've sinned. Nothing that happens to you is coincidence or your own hard work, everything was meant to happen, etc etc.

[ahundredtimes]

Your mother SPADED A RAT TO DEATH? She is my kind of catholic. I sooooo want to meet her.

My dad, brought up RC, says Marss. I like that. I'm going to be very old school posh catholic.

[SueBaroo]

100x, that's not neccessarily a specifically atheist dilemma, i wouldn't have thought. I mean, we Home educate, so we don't get the school thing, but there are plenty of other ways in which the dc discover that other people with a certain authority believe differently and we have to deal with that.

[Rhubarb]

No, that was dh's mother. Sorry, my fault. My mother I do not keep in contact with, she is a right wing catholic. Dh's mother is also a catholic but more liberal minded and she has a farm and spaded a rat to death.

[Boco]

Lapin neither, it was called Ashwick Hall, just outside bath, and was for bad girls, but got taken over by an Arab school i think.

I know someone who teaches at Prior Park - supposed to be v good.

[ahundredtimes]

[Rhubarb]

I have to admit I do like the catholic traditions, the incense, the spiritualness that you can feel, esp during an Easter Mass, the chants, the hymns etc.

[Bouquetsofdynomite]

"Like how I've said, some people believe in God, some in Mohammad etc?"
Can I just nitpick and point out that Muslims don't believe in Mohammad instead of God - they worship one God (ike Christians) and Mohammad was just a very important prophet with no magical powers. A similar myth is that Buddhists worship Buddha.
Anyway, my DH & I are atheists but don't have any problem with the CofE stuff our kids will no doubt come into contact with so we will just go with the flow. If they want to go to church and Sunday School, I'll take them - it's cheaper than drama lessons.

[ahundredtimes]

Ahh hear she comes now, Rhubarb's getting into it. lol.

Boco - you know that postcard he sent? It was his little holiday rebellion I reckon, don't you?

[SueBaroo]

Well, some Buddhists do worship Buddha, but they tend to be Buddhists that have melded Hindu beliefs in with things anyway...

quietly closes handbag of useless information

[Boco]

No my dad is just so fickle. He went through a buddhist phase too, he'll get in with pretty much anything that takes his fancy, big old cock statues, anything.

[Rhubarb]

lol! Trust me I've asked myself time and time again why I am still a catholic but truth is I just like all that traditional stuff!

And as much as I disagree with them, I also agree on a lot of points too, more so than the CofEs say. But then dd goes to a CofE school and so will ds. I think they teach a broader sense of religion than the catholics.

[SueBaroo]

falls about laughing

Oh the joy of willies. Is there a time they stop being funny?

[Rhubarb]

And the school is just over the road so I'm lazy.