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Philosophy/religion

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Original poster

5 yo asking huge questions at school. I think we need to calm him down!

163 replies

MyTeapot · 20/04/2018 19:08

My 5 yo DS attends a school that has a different religious character than our family. It's a nice school; both DC are happy and thriving there.

Recently he's been constantly asking very demanding Big Questions. I'm partially responsible; I can often be heard saying "never stop asking questions" Grin but he literally won't let it drop.

I do all the "some people believe..." lines, but I'm ill-equipped to answer all the questions. As a result he spends all day at school grilling people. I don't want to curb his enthusiasm but it's tricky trying to encourage a bit of balance.

Any similar stories out there?

OP posts:
speakout · 23/04/2018 08:00

The amount of indoctrination that my kids were subject to in a "non faith" school was astounding.
To counter things and find balance I had to balance this with a very large dose of scepticism to the point of ridicule.

My kids thought bible stories were history lessons.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 09:40

I'm quite shocked by how proud some posters seem to be in teaching their children to ridicule those who have religious beliefs.

In my opinion, modelling this kind of behaviour is setting them up poorly for adult life. If their automatic reaction to meeting someone they learn has a faith is to laugh at them or consider themselves superior then they are likely to struggle.

We "lie by ommision" everyday in order to be polite, kind and generally decent people. It isn't clever to mock, otherwise good, decent people who think differently to you, it's rude. I don't think that's something to be pleased about.

speakout · 23/04/2018 09:45

No one is suggesting we teach children to ridicule others.

Roomba · 23/04/2018 09:53

This was DS1 - we're atheist though I was brought up CofE and studied history/literature which is largely influenced by Christianity, so can answer most questions. But this seemed to encourage DS even more - he had to know everything and get a final answer on everything - and it had to make logical sense to him before he would accept it!

This led to some 'lively' discussions in school, going by his reports. One teacher said he'd missed his calling in the Spanish Inquisition Grin. I did have to talk to him repeatedly about respecting other people's ideas and beliefs after comments on his first report. Apparently, shouting out' What? But that makes no sense? Why do we really do X' is not to be encouraged too much...

If it's any consolation, he is a bright lad who is doing well academically. And he did eventually learn to keep his personal opinions to himself and go away and do his own research if he wasn't happy with the official answer.

Roomba · 23/04/2018 10:05

The amount of indoctrination that my kids were subject to in a "non faith" school was astounding.

Same here, and it pisses me off as I specifically chose the only non faith school available, walking miles past faith schools every day due to my opinion that religion should not be imposed on education.

Two different reactions with my two kids - DS"Spanish Inquisition"1 I've already posted about. DS2 has gone in 18m from barely having heard the word God to lecturing all of us over dinner about God creating the world and keeping an eye on if you're being good. He can recount a full and graphic account of the betrayal and crucifixion too, I realised at Easter.

speakout · 23/04/2018 10:10

Unfortunately we have no non faith state funded schools in the UK.

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2018 10:10

"I'm quite shocked by how proud some posters seem to be in teaching their children to ridicule those who have religious beliefs"
I don't think anyone is,are they? I, for one, specifically said I wasn't.

Original poster
MyTeapot · 23/04/2018 10:24

I don't think anyone is,are they? I, for one, specifically said I wasn't.

Me too. That's the whole theme of my thread. Getting along with folk despite encountering ideas that don't easily equate with observations.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyTeapot · 23/04/2018 10:25

Roomba- thank you. There is hope of a reprieve from the Spanish inquisition! Grin

OP posts:
ICantCopeAnymore · 23/04/2018 10:28

I'm an atheist teacher. I wish your son was in my class.

newtlover · 23/04/2018 10:33

I think one issue is that sadly many people, including teachers, are not used to responding thoughtfully to children's questions.
So although is is right for children to learn there's a time, place and manner to raise questions about religious matters, it's understandably confusing for a child who comes from a home where they are used to 'hmm, that's an interesting question, what do we already know that can help us understand....etc etc' is met by 'that's just the way it is/that's what we believe/because that's how God made the world'
Of course teachers cannot respond in depth immediately to every single question, but there should be a welcoming attitude to critical thought and some time set aside for it, surely.

CherryBlossomSeason · 23/04/2018 10:34

Last night I had

What is God?

Why didn't God save Jesus?

Why does God allow bombs?

I was trying to get them to sleep!

newtlover · 23/04/2018 10:37

'It's too late to talk about that now. Think about what fun you had at the park today till you fall asleep. Night night'

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 10:46

I don't think anyone is,are they? I, for one, specifically said I wasn't.

Try RTFT.

I do despair at some people.

I would like to reiterate again that my.comment was not I. Response to the OP who seems to have a great approach. It was more to other posters saying things like

"To counter things and find balance I had to balance this with a very large dose of scepticism to the point of ridicule"

Scepticism is fine, ridicule isn't.

speakout · 23/04/2018 10:54

Ridiculing a belief system is fair game.

I would not encourage a child to ridicule a person.

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2018 10:58

“To counter things and find balance I had to balance this with a very large dose of scepticism to the point of ridicule"

Scepticism is fine, ridicule isn't.”

Well, I can imagine resorting to a bit of ridicule in the privacy of my own home if my child was being taught, say, that The Flood was fact and believed it in the face of my scepticism. But, yes, I don’t think children should be encouraged to ridicule.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 11:02

Encouraging a child.to ridicule a whole faith system is no better. It's not that far away from religious discrimination.

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2018 11:11

I wouldn't’ encourage a child to ridicule anything. But I, as an informed adult would happily ridicule some belief systems.

speakout · 23/04/2018 11:12

Religion is a fine target for ridicule.

Because it's ridiculous.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 11:13

I see what you're saying but I still think it would be preferable to choose your audience. A discussion with a group of like minded people is very different to talking to a Jewish person and ridiculing Judaism.

speakout · 23/04/2018 11:16

I don't engage in debate with religious people about their faith.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 11:20

Well I suppose ridiculing them behind closed doors is the preferable option if ridicule has to happen...

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2018 11:26

If somebody told me they believed in The Flood as a literal happening and persisted in the face of my initial attempts to move away or change the subject then I can imagine myself resorting to ridicule. The same applies to angel healing, homeopathy and Scientology. Among many other things. 1)change the subject 2)move away 3)polite skepticism 4) less polite scepticism. If all these fail, 5) ridicule.

JassyRadlett · 23/04/2018 11:27

It's a minority of people who are forced to send their child to a faith school.

Statistics? I know quite a lot of people in that boat, but I’ve never seen data on it. Te mismatch between the number of faith school places and the number who attend church is quite stark, however.

Most people choose a faith school because they are better schools and they just suck up the faith element.

Some (misguided) people choose faith schools because they think they are better schools when they are able to discriminate through selection. Which we all know is about selecting an easier demographic to teach and get better results from, or the ‘better’ would not be confined to schools who are able to skew their intakes.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 23/04/2018 11:32

The Flood is an interesting point because I was taught that the Old Testament stories were written for people of the time, ie without our knowledge of science, to help them understand the will of God.

To a modern reader a lot of it is quite barbaric and obviously in conflict with things we now know as facts. Having done a small amount of research on it or seems that Christianity doesn't really have an official line on whether it's supposed to be true or not.

I imagine a scenario where someone would continue to push their point past the time you've walked away from the discussion is quite unlikely so there wouldn't be much occasion for ridicule?

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