5 yo asking huge questions at school. I think we need to calm him down!

[MyTeapot]

My 5 yo DS attends a school that has a different religious character than our family. It's a nice school; both DC are happy and thriving there.

Recently he's been constantly asking very demanding Big Questions. I'm partially responsible; I can often be heard saying "never stop asking questions" but he literally won't let it drop.

I do all the "some people believe..." lines, but I'm ill-equipped to answer all the questions. As a result he spends all day at school grilling people. I don't want to curb his enthusiasm but it's tricky trying to encourage a bit of balance.

Any similar stories out there?

Wow! Lots of replies - thanks. Bertrand that's more or less what I've been attempting. I'm sure the indignation will die down soon and we can indeed go back to discussing Lego city. He's driving me crackers at the moment! 😁 DH just says "I don't know" and changes the subject - probably half the reason why DS is so insistent everywhere else.

Thoughtfox- thank you for you recommendation. I will definitely look into that for when he's a bit older or give it to 8 yo to pass off some of the questions

Literallydumbfounded - yes, all this has been kicked off by some old testament story telling at school this week. You sound nice, and clearly happy with your world belief, so thank you for the context but all that seems (in the words of DS) "completely mad". I think showing him lots of varieties of the many world religions and gods might dilute the incredulity... or maybe increase it!?

Caulk - we didn't think much at all about "choosing a faith" really. Eldest DC passed through her early years at school without taking much notice. Nobody in my family has a faith. Members of DH's family are part of a religion in the sense that they tick a certain box on forms but other than that appears to not impact in any area of life... Its just not sonething that's come up before.

Eolian, Feather- thanks for getting where I'm coming from

I know it's a phase, just wanted some sympathy haha!

I could answer your sons questions from a Christian perspective but if you as a family don't believe then I think you just need you tell your son that God isn't real.

Dale McGowan has written some great resources for parents, including "raising free-thinkers" and "parenting beyond belief". As a sampler his blog the meming of life has some really interesting stuff on raising sceptical kids and engaging with religious peers and seniors.

Dd has moved to a c of e school in year 5. We dont beleive at all but have always said that some incredibly intelligent people have a deep faith so dont dismiss it. I ran through the Lords Prayer with Dd and told her to bow her head respectfully at prayer.
She doesnt beleive and if asked would point out why but it important to us that she knows how to act.

Thank you again for some great ideas. Will definitely check out those resources - it's good to know other people are dealing with this too

@GnotherGnu I didn't really intend to come on this post to get into a theological debate. And I can only believe what I believe. I am not preaching to anyone was just hopefully helping OP with perhaps answering some of those questions from a Christians point of view. And like I said on the earthquake issue I could be completely wrong in terms of belief. However I feel that if we as humans listened to God and weren't swayed by Satan; by sin and used the land as originally intended. (there is actually a passage in the bible about harvesting the land for seven year and then for seven years allowing the land to rest and replenish) there may and could possibly still have been natural disasters not caused by god throughout but how are we to know what could have been, had we just listened to God in the first place.
That is just my take on it. from a believers point of view.

“Never stop asking questions” will be taken very literally by a 5 year old.

I would say “sometimes it is good to listen, and then wonder in our own mind how that could be”

“Sometimes we can work out the answers by thinking in our own head. If not, it might be because we just don’t agree with that person.”

Tne problem is that as a child not brought up with faith he is asking questions where he isn’t going to accept the answer for himself anyway. The approach to ‘who made God’ seems to me to be dividing line between those of faith and those without.

If he is a child brought up in a family where questions bring him satisfactory factual answers (how do seeds grow, what’s a rainbow, etc) then he is expecting satisfactory factual answers over the existence of God. He isn’t going to get them until he understands the fundamental nature of faith, that it is ‘I believe’ without evidence, and that that is the whole point.

Explain the difference between questions on religious faith / God and questions based on fact. “Why are they earthquakes “ and “why does God kill people in earthquakes “ are factual v religious questions.

It is not his job to get the faith leaders of his school to justify their religious beliefs to him.

I am assuming this school explains the causes of earthquakes rather than saying “they are sent by God “?

Tell him that ‘never stop asking questions ‘ means you can ask them silently in your own mind and think about it until you find an answer. It means you don’t always have to believe the same thing as the other person but that’s all right. They are allowed to believe different things.

Earthquakes really are not caused by farming methods.

Farming methods, land clearance, human contribution to climate change contribute to or cause floods. But earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis have causes beyond our reach. Unless you put a faith based ‘I believe’ in front of it.

“Earthquakes really are not caused by farming methods.”

No. But they aren’t caused by God, either. It’s yer tectonic plates, innit.

@TammyWhyNot @BertrandRussell like I said previously I do not have all the answers and I am really new to Christian knowledge and no one has told me these things about earthquakes natural disasters etc and as a Christian my views may be completely wrong. Anyway I found a post about this topic which I am going to read so that my knowledge grows about how to answer such questions; because I am no expert and I am by no way saying I am right. It was just a personal view.
www.jesuseconomy.org/blogs/news/the-biblical-view-of-natural-disasters

“No. But they aren’t caused by God, either. It’s yer tectonic plates, innit.”
Agreed.
But who made the tectonic plates

I sincerely hope no state funded school is teaching that earthquakes are sent by God. If they must teach C11th knowledge, then they should be funded along C11th lines.

The problem is that if God created everything he also created earthquakes. As an intelligent 5 year old will realize. So best to just tell him the truth from day 1 and concentrate on teaching him about the apptopriate time and place for asking questions.. He’ll get it.

Sorry @TammyWhyNot I think we have our wires crossed I thought the question op asked was why does god allow earthquakes to kill? my answer was that god doesn't "allow" earthquakes to kill... natural disasters in my opinion would happen anyway but if we had of listened to God perhaps he would have power to stop them. Perhaps. Perhaps not? But what I am under the impression of is that God has no power over natural disasters.

Anyway I am outta here, thank your son for asking some really tricky questions. He is a smart kid. Regardless of whether he chooses faith or not.
They have really challenged me, and I am thankful for that

Well there are man-made elements to the effects of earthquakes, such as the Turkish earthquake circ 1990, where corruption in the construction industry meant that many more people died than would have otherwise.

"would happen anyway but if we had of listened to God perhaps he would have power to stop them. Perhaps." Serouusly? Seriously?? This omnipotent omniscient God needs people to listen to him to give him the power to stop an earthquake? What possible interpretation of the Christian god is that?

If any god has the power to stop earthquakes but doesn't do so because he's miffed that not enough people are listening to him, that's not a god I want to worship.

If you believe God created the earth, why would he not have the power to stop natural disasters? Surely you can't attribute it to a bit of a boo-boo on his part?

My son goes to a state school that has Christian beliefs, but not a Christian school.

When DS comes home with these stories, like Noah for example. We sit and talk about how big the boat would have to be, where would all the food have come from. I don't tell him straight it's fiction. But I give him enough information that he comes to that choice himself.

We're pagans, so I'd rather they DP earth day than religious things.

5 yo: Why does god ...
Answer: Because they are stories and in stories you can make up anything you want.
5 yo: Why do we learn about these stories in school?
Answer: Because some people like to believe stories are real.
5 yo: Why would anyone believe these stories are real, they dont make sense?
Answer: Because not everyone is not as sensible as us.

Parent: Now lets read about what really causes earthquakes, evolution and even some of the the other god stories that children in different schools, countries and throughout history believe in. Some of them are actually quite fun.

At the end of the day, it's all about respect. There are millions of Christians around the world, and millions more that follow other religions. Are they all wrong and just following a fantasy book of stories?? Of course, the concept of God is not necessarily an easy one to understand. A 5 year old will be a lot more accepting than a cynical adult but ultimately who knows what is right?
Religions are faith based. Meaning to some degree you have faith rather than fact.
Personally I am a Christian. I believe in God, Jesus and the things in the bible. Of course not everything in the Bible is clear, or appears to make sense. Consider when it was written, and how. A lot of things were passed on verbally and therefore not necessarily correct.
literallydumbfounded you have a lovely way of explaining things.

So, as I said at the start - RESPECT - we all have different beliefs and ways of living our lives but who are we to criticise others and say that their beliefs are not true. Keep open minds people... God is out there. Well I think so anyway!

Because not everyone is not as sensible as us

Whao!

And do you never question yourself ever?

On Mumsnet religion is appare toy only for idiots. I've never encountered such rudeness in real life, I think it's the anonymity.

Are they all wrong and just following a fantasy book of stories?
How do you explain to a 5 year old that all the Christian believers are right and the Muslims are wrong. Or all the Jews are right and the Christian and Muslims are wrong. Or all the Hindus are right and all the Christians, Muslims and Jews are wrong. Or all the Sikhs are right and the Christians, Muslims, Jews and Hindus are wrong. Or all the Jains are right and the Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus and Sikhs are wrong... ad infinitum. They are mutually exclusive cant all be right therefore most if not all of them are wrong.

So its best to respectful answer your 5 yo that there are hundreds of thousands of different stories of tens of thousands of different gods and some people believe the god story they heard about first is the one that they believe to be true.

There are millions of Christians around the world, and millions more that follow other religions. Are they all wrong and just following a fantasy book of stories??

If just one of those varieties of religion is right and the others wrong, it follows that there must be millions of people who are wrong and following a fantasy book of stories. So is it such a stretch to say that in fact none of them are right, particularly given the lack of any evidence whatsoever despite the lapse of thousands of years since religions first began to be formulated?