5 yo asking huge questions at school. I think we need to calm him down!

[MyTeapot]

My 5 yo DS attends a school that has a different religious character than our family. It's a nice school; both DC are happy and thriving there.

Recently he's been constantly asking very demanding Big Questions. I'm partially responsible; I can often be heard saying "never stop asking questions" but he literally won't let it drop.

I do all the "some people believe..." lines, but I'm ill-equipped to answer all the questions. As a result he spends all day at school grilling people. I don't want to curb his enthusiasm but it's tricky trying to encourage a bit of balance.

Any similar stories out there?

My faith school taught us about all the major world religions, at no point were we told how silly they were or that their teachings were nonsense. Its disrespectful to tell people they're being ridiculous

ILikeMyChickenFried, I wonder if you would hold true to this if your DC were being taught equally about Scientology, Raelism, Jediism or Zoroastrianism? Or is there only some religions that are worthy of 'respect'?

There's a big difference between being taught "Christians/Catholics/Buddhists/etc believe that..." and being taught "As Christians/Catholics/Buddhists/etc we believe that..."

The former I have no issue with. But selling religious belief to small children as fact is akin to brainwashing and is abuse of power. And unfortunately it does happen in some schools, faith and non-faith.

Yes, the difference between being taught about faith and doing faith is often blurred. Often deliberately.

I think it's be interesting to be taught about some of the smaller religions. I'd like to know more about their beliefs myself. I'd never call a scientologost, for example, ridiculous for their belief system. I'm not rude.

I'm not sure it's really correct to saying children are doing faith. If you've chosen a faith school for your child you can't really complain about them being taught that that religion's faith is the way it is, you just have to be prepared, as parents, to explain your family's aporoach.I can see the issue in a non-religious school though.

As long as he is asking questions and is being respectful then that's fine. I was like that at school and ended up believing in God whilst being content with uncertainty (much to the dislike of a former church).

It only becomes an issue (in my opinion) if it becomes rude or mocking. I would be a bit if a child came in saying 'that's all total rubbish and if you believe in god it's like believing in fairies or elves'. That to me is a child who has been taught to ridicule ans be rude from home.

I would avoid calling a Scientologist ridiculous if at all possible. I would have no hesitation in calling Scientology ridiculous.

The problem is that some people insist on refusing to see the difference. They are often the same people who refuse to see the difference between being taught about something and being taught to do something.

I have found that in hearing about and forming my own opinion of scientology has also forced me to think about my own faith and religion. I mean even Christianity was started off by someone and probably thought of as a dangerous cult. Over its history it's certainly been used as a reason or excuse for horrific things plus greed etc. Questioning things,, especially yourself, is good.

I think most non believers would be happy for a school to teach their children Christianity in the same way that Christians would be happy for their children to learn about about Scientology (or any other religion).

If you've chosen a faith school for your child you can't really complain about them being taught that that religion's faith is the way it is
A lot of people dont choose a 'faith' school, its often the only school in the area, closest one or one they are given by the council.

Why should a child be taught, in a tax payer funded school, that they didn't have a choice over, that any religion is the one true religion?

And for that matter why should any child be indoctrinated taught that in tax payer funded school school, just because the parents of that child are of that religion?

Sorry for not reading the whole thread and maybe repeating what has already been said.
But I think the best way to deal with this at home is to explain that it is not just God who told us about these made up "the rules" but also other people. It tells us about right and wrong behaviour. Maybe you can explain things like earthquake scientific or simply as "accidentally" ? us
W whatever you do, explain and discuss the issue with your child. If you really don't know tell him and discuss ways of finding out. It's important for him to have questions discussed with you. And it is important for you to know what is bothering him.

It's a minority of people who are forced to send their child to a faith school. Most people choose a faith school because they are better schools and they just suck up the faith element.

Nice to see people backtracking over calling individuals ridiculous. Its now just entire faiths! Brilliant.

Education isn't only down to a school. Of you've been forced to send your child to a faith school then explain to them that the majority of people at school believe xyz bit as a family you dont. Explain how it's important to be respectful about the faith of others but ok to ask questions. Teach your children about your own beliefs at home. It might make them a more rounded person than a lot of what we see on here.

"Most people choose a faith school because they are better schools"

Only if they are oversubscribed. It's selection, not faith , that nakes a school "better"

Why can't you think a belief system is ridiculous?

It's a minority of people who are forced to send their child to a faith school Where is your proof of that?

Where I live in the SW most primaries are oversubscribed C of E, so everyone is forced to to attend their closest school, a faith school, (whether they like it or not) and the majority of families are NOT C of E. FYI they are oversubscribed because there is a shortage of places locally not because they are all good schools.

To force a majority of non religious children to be taught, in a tax payer funded school, that the Church of England stories are the one true religion is yes f**king ridiculous.

What @Walkingdeadfangirl said.

We've moved a couple of times over dcs school lives, and until secondary non-denominational schools are few and far between, Read almost non-existent, If you don't live in a large multicultural city.

Why can't you think a belief system is ridiculous?

You can think whatever you want, you just don't say it. Do people not teach their child good manners anymore?

If my children come the the conclusion that organised religion is ridiculous by themselves (which dd had by 8yo) I'm not then going to say "no dear, it isn't."
As long as they don't call somebody with that religious belief ridiculous, there's nothing wrong with them believing or saying that they believe the religion is ridiculous.

There's a difference between saying a belief system is ridiculous to saying a person of a specific belief system is ridiculous.

You can think whatever you want, you just don't say it. Do people not teach their child good manners anymore?

Is this a Victorian stiff upper lip thing? because The Emperor's New Clothes are looking mighty snazzy... and the moral of this story is?

I for one dont think its particularly polite to teach children to lie by omission. Guess I must be a rude bugger.

"Why can't you think a belief system is ridiculous?"

I've been thinking about this all day and find the idea of five-year-old being encouraged to dismiss any knowledge out of hand is quite worrisome. Five-year-olds do not have enough knowledge to cross the road by themselves and yet they are so smart they know better than thousands of years of their betters?

And I'm not talking about any one religion here. Surely we want our children to grow up aware of how little they know and how much there is to find out.

My kids are in a catholic school. Ds went through this phase at three. These days they are comfortable accepting that other people believe different things and understand that a certain amount of live and let live for other people's beliefs is basic respect. They just discuss the conflicts within different ideologies at home. No big deal.
As littler kids, I would just say ‘well that is a conundrum isn’t it?’ add on the ‘people believe lots of different things, and you have plenty of time to figure out what you believe’ and carry on as normal.
Given that it is completely impossible to objectively ‘prove’ anything, maturity softens the edges of militant whateveritisism and appreciation for people’s quirks and differences makes life easier to tolerate
Or unschool. As an ideology, for kids with a healthy spirit of investigation and critical thinking (and parents who do not state ‘we are x, therefore this is what ‘we’ believe - whether that be atheism or any other belief system) I find it appealing.
And dd2 took the unschooling handbook to school at 6 as her reading book. Her teacher took it quite well. Dd2 and I just had a conversation about whether she thought that her teacher might be upset or have her feelings hurt about the presence of the book in her classroom, and whether she thought the teacher might have a different belief system about education for children. Dd2 considered it and said she had discussed the book with her teacher and they had a conversation. She thought the teacher was probably interested in different educational methods as she was a teacher, and that it was good to be interested in what other people believe even if you have a different opinion.

OP, I can relate to the constant and difficult questions. Sometimes you need a break from thinking about the cosmic issues!

My DS has always been a fairly average scholar but has an extremely philosophical and analytical mind. He's constantly thinking and questioning big things. Sometimes I'll find him lying on the couch staring at the ceiling for half an hour just thinking.

It's very important that they learn how to stay open minded and polite, always with a learning stance. Being dogmatic and rude won't win him much respect in life.

and parents who do not state ‘we are x, therefore this is what ‘we’ believe - whether that be atheism or any other belief system) I find it appealing.This is it. Seems to be a lot of indoctrination on both sides.

Atheism is not a belief system.

We are born atheist.

Yes-I hate this aligning of atheism with belief systems. It seems to be a growing practice.

"I've been thinking about this all day and find the idea of five-year-old being encouraged to dismiss any knowledge out of hand is quite worrisome"
I agree. I wasn't talking about 5 year olds. I thought the conversation had moved on to talking about adults posting on this thread. I did post lower down about teaching the 5 year old in the OP to be polite.

even “non faith” schools often present christianity as fact. “Collective worship” is also a statutory requirement.

I strongly disagree with this but it’s unlikely to change. I challenge the indoctrination by answering my DCs’ questions honestly.