5 yo asking huge questions at school. I think we need to calm him down!

[MyTeapot]

My 5 yo DS attends a school that has a different religious character than our family. It's a nice school; both DC are happy and thriving there.

Recently he's been constantly asking very demanding Big Questions. I'm partially responsible; I can often be heard saying "never stop asking questions" but he literally won't let it drop.

I do all the "some people believe..." lines, but I'm ill-equipped to answer all the questions. As a result he spends all day at school grilling people. I don't want to curb his enthusiasm but it's tricky trying to encourage a bit of balance.

Any similar stories out there?

Christians, Muslims and Jews are not mutually exclusive.

Hi OP. I've got one like this. Always been the same. Born with an inquisitive look on their face! The questions started as soon as they could talk, and continue now as a teen. Not just about religion, about everything. It's one of the agonies and ecstasies of parenting some kids!

It's great to learn about beliefs different to your own family's. Just teach him to be polite, to understand that some people hold their beliefs very strongly, and to respect that. I used the expression 'some people believe...but I believe... ' quite a lot!

Just had a dig about on the bookshelves for you, and found What Do You Believe? It's a DK book with foreword by Aled Jones, (but don't let that put you off!). I think it would be suitable for your DS at 5, especially if you look at it with him. You might learn from it too, I know I did.

Also found that I had written inside it 'Hopefully SOME answers to SOME of your questions... ' My handwriting looks a bit desperate!

Christians, Muslims and Jews are not mutually exclusive.
Well that is a new one, according to who?

Blackbelt

Sorry folks for lighting the blue touch paper. I didn't mean to cause trouble. Where's John Lennon when you need him, eh?

"Imagine all the people living life in peace..."

Walkingdeadfangirl - discussed this with DH. I love the idea of encouraging curiosity in the many different religions and gods. We already do the cosmology and evolution stuff (it's a geeky science household ) so those bases are thoroughly covered.

I looked up some creation stories from around the world - there's lots of equally weird and wonderful ones I'd never heard of before. I think DS will love the kaleidoscope of ideas even if they are all "completely mad!" . And gods: Animal headed gods, blue gods, fella that live in the clouds chucking lightning down and has a day of the week named after him... I think his head will explode!

We're atheists with a 5 year old in a non-faith primary and it is surprising how much religion is present (see reception class colouring a picture of jesus nailed to a cricifix)

We have www.amazon.co.uk/Me-Dog-Gene-Weingarten/dp/1442494131/ref=la_B001H6KHHC_1_1?s=books&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1524383133&sr=1-1 which is a nice simple book, basically the kid's dog thinks the kid's god.

We also have www.amazon.co.uk/Belief-Book-David-G-McAfee/dp/1908675314/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=belief+book&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1524383077&sr=8-2 which is a bit advanced for my 5 year old but might work for yoirs

I am not a Richard Dawkins fan, but his book “The Magic of Reality” is a fabulous read aloud for children like yours.

From my perspective. You sent him to a Cath school. Someone did answer a few of your questions and you chose to call them completley mad as that’s what your 5 year old would say. If you want him to attend a school that t aches and believes in a faith, whilst disagreeing with it yourself that is obviously your right- but to accept your 5 year old calling it completely mad is t acceptable to me. Of course he can question, but he also needs to be taught respect for others beliefs, juts as they should respect his. There is a fine line between questioning and being disrespectful, and you seem (I’m probably wrong) to encourage the disrespectful and be proud that he is. Dont send him ti a Cath school if part of your teaching at home is t respect for his classmates who are at a Cath school, specifically because they have a faith.

SD - I can assure you that are definitely are wrong.

1. It's not a Catholic school.
2. We all know the realistic "choice" of schools is less than ideal.
3. Even in a non denominal school they have a "broad Christian" thing going on in daily acts of worship etc.
4. I don't disagree with the school, I'm trying to discourage my child upsetting people, hence the questioning thread rather than a gloating one.
5. I am quoting my 5 year old when he says, with incredulity, that an idea is completely mad (not a fellow human). That's what he thinks, and a lot if religious ideas do require the suspension of reality.
6. A lot of his classmates (and at least one teacher) are not of the faith of the school.

I'm a decent person. My family are decent people. My daughter is turning into a decent person, and I hope the same for my son. I wasn't complaining about the school. I was hoping for some solidarity amongst parents trying to answer difficult questions of children who don't have the social restraint that adults have. He will learn respect, certainly from me. At the moment though, he's wrangling with ideas and trying to make sense of the world. As we all are.

I meant no offence to anyone.

The problem is that the usual anti-faith school brigade have jumped on to scoff at anyone who has a religion. That's not your fault, OP, but these threads do tend to turn a bit rowdy.

Saying that you are a non believer is not “scoffing”.

No it isnt. Some people take it further than that though, as well you know.

Then specify.

You have a right to your belief. You do not have the right to stop me calling it ridiculous should I wish to.

Its a shame I don't have a right to expect supposedly educated adults to be polite and respectful though. That, it seems, is a step too far.

If you're unable to read the earlier comments and understand how they could be deemed as rude then it really isn't my job to explain it to you.

I just wanted to add that my comments are not in response to the OP. Its natural for a child who has been raised to not believe in any God to find the concept "mad". If that isn't your families belief then that's fine. The key is finding a way to be polite to people who believe different things to you which seems to be what the OP is looking for for her son. That isn't the approach generally taken by non-believers on this website though.

I dont see what is disrespectful in teaching that there are lots of different religious stories about lots of different gods/devils and some people believe their particular religions families stories are the true ones. Its what is taught in my DCs school, it certainly isn't scoffing.

Correct me if I am wrong but even in state 'faith' schools you are not allowed to teach that any particular religious story is the real one.

“Its a shame I don't have a right to expect supposedly educated adults to be polite and respectful though. That, it seems, is a step too far.”

I try to be polite to individuals . But I see no reason why I should be respectful to beliefs I do not respect. If a person says, for example that the reason God does not prevent earthquakes is that not enough people listen to him I am not going to respect that belief.

Its natural for a child who has been raised to not believe in any God to find the concept "mad". If that isn't your families belief then that's fine. The key is finding a way to be polite to people who believe different things to you which seems to be what the OP is looking for for her son.

Yep, that's 99% correct. The only thing I'd say is that we've not specifically said "don't believe in any gods" it's just never been a conversation that cropped up before he went to school. School is great, but it's where he's been introduced to these new ideas so that's where he's asking questions.
He also thinks a lot of stuff in Harry Potter is mad too by the way, anything that clashes with his own observations note to self, wait a bit before telling him about quantum physics

Correct me if I am wrong but even in state 'faith' schools you are not allowed to teach that any particular religious story is the real one.

I think that's correct. It's certainly the case at our school which is very run of the mill tea and cake and be nice to your neighbour Anglican. They do learn about many religions and mythology in RE but they also have Christian assemblies and go to church for Christian festivals etc. It's naturally weighted towards that one particular set of ideas which is what he asks most questions about.

There's a big difference between what you think and what you say though. There are several world religions completely different to my own, obviously I don't believe what they do. I'd never dream of telling them they're ridiculous. People are still individuals even if you're only communicating with them through the internet.

It's not disrespectful to teach about other religions/ non believers. That wasn't my point. My faith school taught us about all the major world religions, at no point were we told how silly they were or that their teachings were nonsense. Its disrespectful to tell people they're being ridiculous. Of course it would be wrong for a school.to teach that.3Sa

What surprised me is how different my children were in their reactions to religion at school.
Daughter just accepted it as part of a package of stuff that goes on at school like wearing a uniform, queuing for your dinner and asking to go to the toilet. Son gets bothered by it all a lot more.

I just answer everything from an I think perspective.

• what happens when you die
• you’re just dead. You cease to exist
• but x says you go to heaven
• yes. Some people believe that. Some people think you get another life. No-one knows for sure because no-one has ever come back to confirm.

Does your son's teacher push the religion more maybe? Even in my Catholic primary some teachers would do the minimum, others had us sitting saying a decade of the rosary every Friday for example.

He might just be more Inquisitive by nature which is lovely, albeit trickier for You!

I think a lot of theists get confused about what 'non-believers' actually think. Lack of belief in a god(s) is not belief that there are no god(s).

That is one of first things I taught my DC and is a cornerstone of critical thinking.

So most non believers, including famous ones like Richard Dawkins, would say there just aren't any good reasons to believe in a god but I am open to evidence showing otherwise...

*Does your son's teacher push the religion more maybe? Even in my Catholic primary some teachers would do the minimum, others had us sitting saying a decade of the rosary every Friday for example.

He might just be more Inquisitive by nature which is lovely, albeit trickier for You!*

They had the same teacher - the atheist one! I think you might be right... inquisitive equals a lot of time under inquisition!