Christian prayer thread

[Dutchoma]

Just starting a new thread without any embellishments so it doesn't run out.
Please add any concerns/witterings/names to it.
Love to you all.

once moe unto the school run and library breach

Hope today has been calm, BES.

Praying for you all.

Been to a hospital appointment today. I was accompanied by a family member who is medically qualified for physical and emotional support and as I cannot drive. Anyway I was very, very shocked to discover just how lucky I am to be alive. The doctor explained the injuries and their location and talked medical talk about my injuries with my relative. The basic version with photos and a diagram was simplified to me and I am shocked, now that I know what is what. I can't get my head around the fact that I am so lucky to be here. I also don't get why I was lucky and survived. Why me? It's quite a strange feeling and really is life changing. You think, well I sort of thought, that I was a small insignificant thing in the scale of the universe and it's history. I feel quite confused about why I survived the accident. I am just in a state of confusion and very grateful for life. I felt that I saw my dad when I had just had the accident and the emergency services were working on me. It's a very real experience and I can't get past it. I've seen my dad and survived a serious traffic accident.... it's quite overwhelming to say the least. I am quite teary tonight with the emotions still at the forefront of my memory.

Anyone else know if it's normal for feelings for your health situation to be addressed in public social media? I need to be with my family. I feel so blessed and so aware of our close-knit family x

Sorry its a bit higgledy-piggledy.

💐 we are all lucky you survived the accident dont - you are a lovely, kind person who deeply cares for your RL family and people on here, and any other outcome would be heart-breaking. No-one knows why some people survive and others don't (there may be a theological explanation but I am not sure of it).

I am praying for your continued healing, for your medical support and for family support.

As to whether it is normal to share/ address your feelings in public, social media - Do you mean on here? MN is a community like any other, and I have found particular threads, including this one, very supportive. I think it is important to remember it is public, but as long as you are not giving details which can identify you or your family, I think it is important to feel able to access support from like-minded people. Not all MN is like-minded, so I personally would not post in some other boards. But only you can judge the support you find helpful and where you find it; also I find it helpful to read what people write on here, otherwise it can be quite lonely.
Take care and rest.

Yes Cocoa is absolutely right in saying that we are all lucky that you survived the accident and I think it is very normal that you should feel all over the place thinking about it. I would hope that now that the first shock of the accident itself and of the realisation of what could have happened is over, you will have a time where you can come to a place of rest within your family without feeling that you need to 'do' or 'think' too much. You are in the palm of God's hand, He is holding you close, let that be enough for now. Life will probably be different because of this experience, but not necessarily worse.

I am off to the Gp for an important appointment. A bit scared. I shall be chanting theology giving myself the proverbial slap around the face with a wet fish.

The thing that did for my dad (suspect vascular typw of hypermobility but it all does not quite add up) is proably the thing that will do for me... usless something else intervenes first.

I can't imagine the surgery will enjoy you bringing a wet fish BES, so you'd better be kind to yourself and leave the thing at home. Praying that there is some intervention possible to alleviate your fears.

Thank you for your welcome words. It's appreciated.

Bes thinking of you and your wet fish. I hope and pray that everything goes as well as it can do for you and that you are ok. I hope that the fish isn't needed and you can feel a bit better about not needing him. Hoping you had a few minutes chant and it's helped. I don't have chant I have rant and yesterday I was told I needed an operation in around six months time. I am very hospital phobic. It's a good job I didn't think about the wet fish option or it would have been very memorable, think Basil Fawlty add a fish and you have me!

Really hoping that you get sorted out and are happy with everything and it's doable for you. Thinking of you!!

Adding my prayers here again. At the moment the job I was offered seems like it might be a shorter duration than originally offered. Let's hope it becomes permanent or something even better comes up. I'm also still being investigated for health issues (massive weightloss, pain, swollen glands etc). Am hoping it's just the effects of trauma and I can bounce back somehow.

Prayers for BES Dont and Bloomed. How did it go BES?

took some forms to filli n for school to take mind off it.

it could all be a coincidence with the hypermobility and leaking fingers. apparently leakky fingers are common. as yet no links have been proved scientifically. not convinced but the thing I worried about is incredibly rare anyway. bloody google

today is the after school club he hates so it may be tricky tonight.

yesterday wass not too bad but stuff still got chucked down the stairs,

Thanks Cocoa, I'm doing okay. Coming out of hibernation, so to speak. I pray that the way will become clearer for you and your ds so you won't have as much stress.

I pray for a longer term job bloomed and for better health.

Bes you were right to get yourself checked out. I think you should chop up the wet fish into fillets and freeze it!

Prayers for Dutchoma and others on the thread. And for you don't; you've been through such a lot. I'm sorry to hear you will need an op in a few months. You've been through a trauma and survived. That would give all of us pause for thought. I'm so very glad you are still with us. x

ahhh fuck.

ds was sick in the night. dd is asleep in bed not feeling well. for dd to sleep in the day she is not well.

I feel icky. this may be psychosomatic as I was dealing with sick in the night and may be due to lack of sleep.

prayers for don't. keep on getting better.

that reads so wrong without the punctuation.

Bes.

Aside from maintaining your sense of humour, how are you and the DC feeling now?

Thank you Lissette - I am feeling very raw this morning, I think I have come to the end of the road myself in trying to sort things out. Still, the days are getting longer as you say, the daffodils are coming up in my garden and the seasons are going through their cycle. Getting back into my garden will be good.

bes I hope you are all feeling better. And that you continue to recover dont

Orchid, I hope you are okay, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I am just adding prayers for all, going through your names in my head and thinking of your situations. Also adding prayers for lurkers and anyone else in need of prayer, particularly those working through dreadful conditions in the avalanche in Italy to find survivors and those who are affected, who have lost loved ones. For those in war zones and refugee camps, or otherwise suffering without warmth or security. For peace, for hope and for the light of God's love to shine through what people do, not hate or anger or fear. These are the things I pray for whilst giving thanks for all that we have. Amen.

BES - how are you all feeling. Really hoping that the sickness bug passes quickly and doesn't cause you all to be poorly for long. Can't imagine being on my own with two dc and everyone being poorly. Rest, drink plenty of fluids and hopefully you can try to eat little bits and it passes.

Cocoa, prayers for you too. Hoping that you can find comfort and strength and the rawness doesn't last and upset you. Although it's completely natural to feel like that.

My spring bulbs are also coming up. I forgot just how busy I had been in planting them and I got a lovely surprise the other morning as I saw them. The nights are slowly getting shorter and you are right, you can see the seasons starting to change. I am looking forward to being able to garden when I am allowed and better. Please God.

My dm has been a bit odd. She needed a lot of looking after during dads illness and passing. She couldn't do much for herself and I really had to look after her and she stayed here for up to five times a week over the past months. I cleaned her house, did her garden, drove her around, fed her and did lots of administration type of things that arose. She never acknowledged that the grief was anyone elses. It was only hers. I ended up going with counselling and it's helped me massively.

Anyway I have only seen her four times since the accident. Twice in hospital and I can't remember it and twice at my home. She was in a rush one time and kept her coat on when she came round.

She moved house recently and had so much help. In practical terms and emotional support with the phone ringing and people checking on her, and making sure she was ok. All while I was poorly. She stays one night a week with her friend for company and support. I know that she rings me but it's a call where she wants to hear that everything is going to be ok so she doesn't have to worry.

I said that the last fortnight has been tough with school exams and dh being on nights and the number of hospital appointments I have had. We muddle along but find meals a struggle. Meaning that I can't do much with my injuries and a broken hand, dh is sleeping in the day and my appointments are organised around this. So there doesn't seem time to cook a family meal. She said that I should use the slow cooker then. Ok I get it but I can't prep for it. The dc have a 2.5 mile walk to school and with exams I don't want to get them to prep for tea before school. Dh does lots, shopping, walk dogs, dishwasher, cleans and does whatever it needs. The dc help after they walk home again and before revision. She didn't offer to help. She said that she can't cook. The only help she offered was ironing and the dc are doing it.

I just feel sad that I gave her so much at the same time I was grieving, she didn't do anything for either of my granny's when they were widowed. I have lost my dad and survived this accident in under 9 months and she has disappeared.

I couldn't leave my dc if this was them. I wouldn't be too pushy and full on but I would see where I was needed and would do whatever they asked me to.

I suppose that I just feel a bit used by her. She has told relatives about the accident, when on the phone about moving house and she doesn't listen to what she is told. She makes it sound like it was an accident that wasn't as serious. My cousin saw on fb as it was on there, the news article on the accident and was shocked and contacted me.

On the other hand, the dc and dh have been absolutely brilliant. They just get on with whatever needs doing and when I feel like I want to try doing something they are supportive and very helpful and patient. I thank God for them. They don't complain and just happily all work together, supporting eachother and working as team.

My inlaws, in particular my Mil is very good and if I needed anything they would drop everything and be round. Nothing is too much trouble.

I just don't understand my mum. My sister said that she has always been like this and dad really did everything for her. He was a very hard worker, very educated, very organised and got on with things. He was sensible and practical and helped anyone he could. Even when he had a job with lots of responsibility and travelled overseas and it was stressful with long hours he was still in control and didn't get flustered. We think that dad did far more for mum than he let on and far more than we know about.

For someone who was a nurse and lived here for so long to suddenly vanish but still do everything else is odd. Her move went well and she had huge support and plenty of helpers and removal men so that wasn't the cause. The house is nice and she's settling in well and had lots of help unpacking. I just don't understand it. She knows that the inlaws are helping and said "I can't drive so I can't help much", or " I can do ironing" and "I can't cook use your slow cooker" and "if you don't want ironing then don't say I didn't offer to help you" yet she can get to her friends house and dog sit and has been abroad 6 times in 9 months visiting family members.

Dad was so brave with the cancer. He never once complained about any of it and just took each day. He was a totally inspirational, dignified and brave role person who never stopped caring about us. Mum needed as much care as dad did. She was very good at offloading and talking about how hard it was and accepting help which you just give. It's your parents and they have a need and are going through this so you unquestionably do what you have to. I don't understand her not being able to help. I feel so sad and I feel so greedy needing her to sort of acknowledge that we have a difficult situation. Dad would have been totally different in this situation.

Hope I made sense and didn't sound like a brat.

Dear Don't, You may not be able to understand your mother, but you will have to accept that she is a taker and not a giver. You have given her so much, we all know how much during and after your dad's death, but she has not given back. She may sadly be one of those people that is unable to give, or it may be her age preventing her seeing what needs doing. I'm glad that your dh and the children are pulling together to help you, but I'm afraid that I have to say that you need to stop expecting things from your mum. I know she should help much more, but she is not going to and you must not let it stand in the way of your recovery. I do hope you can just concentrate on getting better and resting without fretting about what your mother should or should not do. Just at the moment, with a broken hand you cannt prep meals and nobody is going to die of starvation if you have a few meals that are not as balanced as they might be. If your mum does not like it, she soesn't have to come. Take care.

In addition Don't your Mum may not be that emotionally clued in and may be running away from the fact that your accident was serious. She may not want to admit to herself that she might have lost you too. And it sounds like your Dad took care of her a lot. Of course that still means you are not getting help from that corner and you are right to feel let down.

I'm racking my brains here: would food shortcuts help, like ready made mash, prepped veggies, stuff you just shove in the oven, less chopping etc. Dutchoma is right - everyone will survive if the dinners are not as balanced as before. Thinking of you. X

Also ask butcher to cut up meat or buy ready diced meat, electric can opener, jar opener or ask someone to open the jars earlier for you and store in a container with easy lid. Buy ready to cook rice (more expensive but useful when time pressured), cous cous which you just pour water over and leave.

let her iron and gie the kids something else to do?

but yes that sucks.

alternatively you can eat loads and loads of jacket potatoes.... (just thinking how we would manage. )

rice, drain by putting sieve over another pan, then pouring through.
ditto pasta.
ditto frozen veggies.

their dad could cook but that is about the limit of his cooking anyway!

I would do what bes suggests, which is indeed ask your mum to do the ironing, as she has offered and then she needs to put her money where her mouth is, so to speak - then ask DC to prep the veg etc. If they are old enough to handle an iron, then they should be able to peel and cut veg etc.

DD has done Home Economics and she would be able to follow a simple recipe. Not that she does at home, but she will help with prep if she is minded to. She also filled in my meal planner for me last week and organised the shopping list. It sounds like your family are on board with the need to help so preparing a list for meals could work?

None of what I have written helps regarding the emotional aspects of your mum's inability to be there for you. I cannot really add to what others have said already. It is difficult for you and I am sorry about that. I have to be extremely self-sufficient and it is hard not to be able to call up your mum and get support. The only thing I would say is the same as you, that I would not be the same to my children. That said, maybe the other side of that is being too reticent to ask your children to help or say no to what they want to do because you don't want to restrict their freedoms. So, you carry that burden too.

My only other thought is asking for simple recipes on here, not sure if there is a recipe board, which DC could help with? I do agree that while your hand heals, the main thing is that you concentrate on that getting better as well as your general healing. Meals can be more simple for a while. The children are still fed, they are still loved, and still cared for. Part of growing up is learning that others have needs too and that they have a role to play in household matters.

With preparing a list for meals, I mean also what each can do to help that meal appear on the table.

so off to church. may be a little more difficult than usual.