Praying into 2016: a Christian prayer thread for the New Year

[Tuo]

Happy New Year friends.

This thread is a safe space where anyone - regular, occasional visitor, lurker, committed Christian or waverer - is welcome to come and leave their prayers in the knowledge that they will be prayed for. No problem is too big or small to share here, and if you just want to come and say 'hi', that's fine too.

Looking back through our previous thread, we pray in particular for:

ALittleFaith - for good treatment for her anxiety; for better understanding from her boss; for the lovely Faithlet.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for her and her family.

Anjelica27 - for her DS, who has mental health problems, and for Anjelica and her family.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for her DC, and for her mum. Praying for a peaceful and happy 2016.

Dontbesilly - for her dad, who has been diagnosed with cancer, and for all who love and care for him; also for the medical team looking after him; for her DH's work situation; and for Don't's DDog who has a heart condition.

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere. Thinking of her especially as the anniversary of the loss of her beloved Bob approaches, in particular after the recent death of her brother as well. May she know God's closeness to her in her grief.

EdithSimcox - for her to be able to find ways to support and nurture her faith; and for understanding from her DP.

FaithLoveandHope - for clarity about what she wants (and what God wants) for her future.

HardyLeodicean - especially for her FIL.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece - for her to find comfort and joy in exploring her faith; also for a good recovery from heart surgery for her best friend's dad.

JugglingFromHereToThere - for her search for rewarding work, for health, and for comfort and strength for her and the rest of her family following the tragic death of her nephew.

Kaykat - following her divorce from an abusive ex; for happiness for her and for her DS.

legohurtswhenyoustandonit - for her to feel more at home and accepted by her church.

LifeofBriony - for her relationship with her DH; also for her DS going back to university after Christmas.

LightnessofBeing - for her new church, and for energy to cope with her punishing work schedule.

MadHairDay - for her health, especially in the cold, wet winter months which are always so hard on her lungs.

Pandora97 - as she starts a new job in a new town for the new year following difficult and stressful times relating to a court case in recent months.

passportmess (formerly known as QuietIsland) - for a colleague whose husband is very ill, and for a university friend who has been diagnosed with cancer.

PatchworkTurtle - for healing in her relationship.

PositiveAttitude - for her DD1, who is depressed, to get the support she needs; for her DD3 and her DH to work through their relationship issues; for PA's DH to find work that makes him happier, for PA's DMum to continue to be happy in her (relatively) new care home and for PA's DDad to cope with her being there. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, to be happy and fulfilled in 2016.

QoF - for courage when she is feeling anxious.

ScouseQueen - for a full recovery from recent illness.

SESthebrave - for her DH, who has been working abroad, and for SES, juggling everything at home; for her DS to find ways of communicating, rather than lashing out, when he is frustrated; and for her to feel appreciated for the work she does at her church.

TheRealGracePoole - for her ministry to women in her area.

weegiemum - giving thanks for an improvement in her DD1's (borderline) anorexia; praying for weegiemum's own health and for the Master's course which she has undertaken.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, for 'old-timers' who haven't posted recently, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

A prayer of St Teresa of Avila

Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing frighten you.
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Those who have God
Find they lack nothing;
God alone suffices. Amen

Hi all and welcome twee. dont you have been in my prayers, how are you doing? When is the funeral?
I had a lengthy chat with ds last night at bedtime with him in tears. Poor little thing has got himself in a state re whether he should believe or not because I do but his Dad doesn't and he is totally confused by this conflict of opinion between the 2 people he still thinks have all the answers! Not that we ever have big discussions about it, let alone in front of ds.I reassured him that neither of us would love him any less whatever choice he makes and said that the reason he is making his first communion this year, doing catechism classes, going to weekly mass etc is because I want him to be aware of both sides so he can make an informed choice when he feels ready. These 2 hours a week is the only input of any Christian thought he has all week so I don't feel he is being unfairly swayed. Anyway we talked for an hour and a half about this ( he is a deep little thing). The last thing I want is that he feels under pressure from either of us and I know his dad feels the same. I said to him if he didn't want to make first communion etc that was fine with me. Anyway it ended with him telling me he did believe and he just didn't want to upset his dad with not agreeing with him which is odd as he normally has no such concerns . It's such a difficult one because obviously I would love him to believe as I know what it can bring to your life but on the other hand it is his journey and decision to make. I tried so hard to come over as being impartial regarding what he thinks- I hope that came across. Sorry for this lengthy post - needed to get that out and where else would I come to but here

The main thing to get across here, I think, is to make it clear that God loves us whether we believe in Him or not. And to stamp on any ideas that will say that if you don't believe in Jesus you are going to hell. If he has even had a whiff of this in his teaching then that will make life very hard for him.

The reason we believe is because we have seen how much Jesus loves us and we want to respond to that great love. Age is no hindrance to that response, but for your husband there may have been reasons why he cannot see that love for himself. Maybe it may be easier for your ds if he can see that him believing in Jesus is not going to hurt his dad.

pmed you Oma...

thanks Oma. Luckily there has been no talk of hell etc in his teachings - I would have called a halt to it all myself if there was and I have never heard the Priest preach on anything that isn't love - again if there were then I would have no interest in going myself let alone subject ds to it . I did ask him about this last night however just to be sure and made it very clear that my beliefs don't include any exclusion of his Dad but he assured me that there hadn't been any talk of that and that the only reference to hell etc he has come across is on a cartoon...... It seems to stem from this being the first time he has really had to question the wisdom of his parents as apart from the usual disagreements he is still at that age where he thinks we have all the answers bless him. So he is now thinking hang on a minute - they can't both be right and in his head he has progressed to feeling like he has to choose between the 2 of us. Which is the last thing either me or his Dad would ever want him to feel. I hope I reassured him last night but we will see. I will stress what you suggested Oma - that God loves us despite what we may believe as I didn't really specify that to him so thanks again.

QoF bringing up kids in mixed religion families is hard. You sound like you are doing an amazing job. unlike me

Thanks Edith - really don't feel like I am a lot of the time. And you have a lot more to deal with in a lot of ways than me as the opposition you face is a lot more vocal than mine (although sometimes I think I would welcome a tussle over it with dh rather than the quiet dismissal and total lack of interest!) Anyway your love for your family shines through in your posts and so I am sure you are doing a great job. So back at you

I am supposed to be getting ready to go to mothers. as you can tell I am not making much progress.

oh fuck. she has rung. something has gone wrong but I can not work out what it is.

Sorry to have been away for so long. Just back at work and really busy.... Have been reading and praying.

BES - I hope everything is OK. Is someone near enough to go round and check she's OK? (By 'someone', I do not mean you!) Sending prayers.

QoF - Yes, I had similar conversations with DD2, though she was a bit older than your DS I am guessing, as we didn't start going to church till she was 8. I think that your answers sound perfect. I also think it's OK to admit that we don't always have all the answers (my DD is now at the stage where she doesn't think I have any of the answers any more - except perhaps to the question 'Where's my coat/shoes/homework/bus pass?'). Prayers for you and for your DH.

PA - What a lot you have on your plate atm. I guess that your dad (who, from what you've said on here, seems to like to be in control at the best of times) must be feeling very powerless and afraid. Which doesn't make it any the less sad that his attempts to take control of things are preventing your mum from accessing the activities that could be making her life better at this point. Prayers for your parents and also for all of your DC, with all their different needs and worries. And finally prayers for you and for your DH, for work worries to recede a bit and for a return trip to Cambodia soon maybe?

Don't - Thinking of you very much, my dear, and praying for strength for you and your family at this time - and especially for your mum.

Also thinking of Edith and amber and niminypiminy and Hardy and MHD and Briony and Twee and Teal and others.

sorted out mums problem. (well that one anyway)

got cash flow issues going on due to two big expenses this month.

delight of the supermarket with one disabled/sen child. one stays with mum if she is up to it. my mega strop seems to have paid off and the dry groceries are all neatly arranged in the cupboard and easily visible.

Reaching elastic limit does help people to step back a little Bes.

need to pop to supermarket. thankfully there is not much to get. mainly stuff for us.

ex turned up at 2.30 chn were available well before then from about 10.

deciding which child to take to supermarket given ds could do without going but could do with not staying here either. current state is only handlable by me.

I need lunch first. breakfast was stupidly late.

oh and why is it as soon as one picks up the phone meltdowns occur or someone decides to talk to you.

ho hum. children available from 10 ex turns up at 12. at least that was 2 and a half hours earlier than yesterday!

we are still at mothers and need to do an earlyish leave tomorrow. it was easier to do an early morning leave than to pack up and get home ridiculously late. been battling pyrocanthus. need to buy some new ones when fence in.

Hello everyone.

Been so busy with the funeral arrangements this past week or so. My mum went to stay with my sister who lives abroad for a week four days after dad died (still seems unreal even using those words) and left thinking things were sorted out.

I offered in the funeral directors to research florists and deal with this, however I seem to have been left with almost everything else. Music, order of service, eulogy, catering, photographs of dad and on and on.

Anyway I wasn't coping really, just robotically plodding on. Then my sister texted me a picture of mum exhausted on a train after a day out with my sister. I was a tad angry and informed them while they enjoyed days off I was running ragged organising things here. My sister texted back that when I had offered to do everything in the funeral directors office, perhaps she should have said no. Basically meaning that I offered to do everything so put up and shut up. I really resent her sometimes. She has a wonderful knack for doing the bare minimum and taking credit for everyones hard work and putting me down with a double whammy.

Today I arranged by email with the vicar to drop stuff off tomorrow. I reminded my sister of these arrangements only to find that without informing me, she had gone and changed the meeting time. Luckily I found out as I was delivering the orders of service and the music. She also has a knack for creating situations like this and standing back and watching things go wrong and then accusing the person who put in the hard work originally and who is then understandably upset, as being slightly unhinged or over dramatic and because she is a doctor she wins the 'argument'. She also lives her life on Facebook and is collecting sympathy there like an only child. Today my fil actually commented on this and how hard I had been working on the funeral. Mil told dh to take great care of me, which is really lovely as all I really like is appreciation for my efforts and acknowledgement.

My sister is one of the reasons I didn't get to spend alone time with dad as she was always there. The one occasion I managed it my niece, who can be spiteful, came in the room supposedly looking for revision books from her bag but it was a gesture of defiance as I had told everyone to give us privacy and purposely shut the door and she doesn't like being told to do something. My sisters family had spent seven hours with dad which was a lot and when we arrived I couldn't manage ten minutes.

Anyway. I am just about ready for the funeral next week. I have decided to read 'all is well' and I am going to try to act it, and focus on something neutral and not associate with the words. All fabulous advice from here. I am ok up until the part where it says pray for me and then I wobble. I will do my best job.

I really want to do him justice. I hope I didn't come across as moaning about organising the funeral for dad. That's definitely not what I meant. I am pleased to do anything for him, anything I can. I really do want to do my best for him. It's just such a difficult task and for someone else to accept the credit not appreciate it and presume that offering to sort flowers equates to doing everything is upsetting. Then again, I am proud and honoured that I am doing it for dad as it's the least I can do really in return for all he did for me. I hope that he is pleased with it and knows how much I want to honour him and how hard I tried.

Another reason why I am a bit worn out is that I need another course of iron transfusions. Also a ct scan has revealed two areas of concern. I have a nodule in my lower right lung and something between both lungs and I have the start of abnormal cells in my oesophagus, and dad had oesophageal cancer. The doctor is referring me urgently about the three areas that showed up on the ct scan. I have never had any respiratory problems and have never smoked so I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Anyway it's all piling up a bit and my sister is well aware of these things too.

Anyway hope you don't mind me offloading here.

I have been thinking of you all and praying too. Some of you have such a lot going on and I am praying hard for you and your families, such a lot of really difficult things to cope with. Things will get better though and you will find the strength to cope.

Anyway I will stop rambling now I have gone on quite enough I fear and thanks for listening and have an unmumsnetty hug (which is allowed here I read) for reading this x

That, my dear Dont was better out than in. I'm so glad that you found a place to unload here and no, I don't for a moment think you are 'moaning'. You are run ragged in a situation where you should be supported and helped and instead you are left with everything to organise, no doubt while 'ordinary' things like getting meals and doing the shopping are also going on. And that on top of all your health problems.

Much as I would like to give your sister a shake and a talking to, I doubt whether that would help you. Instead I am praying for you all that you will have the strength to get through the funeral, that everything will go as expected and that you will get some support from the vicar and others afterwards when it is all over. Your dad would be so proud of you, of that you can be assured.

Thank you Oma. The vicar has been wonderful. I explained that I am a funeral organising beginner and he has been a huge support, telling me I am doing great and guiding me. He's quite young and is very modern with a family. I am pleased that dad is having his service in this church as I was married there and it's held all our christenings and other occasions. I really love the church. So welcoming from the moment you step in. You feel the sense of love, peacefulness and a closeness to God.

We will have to keep a very close eye on Mum. She's still talking about him in the present tense. I know that this is sometimes habit, however I am concerned. She describes him as her rock, and he was. When he died, a part of her really did go with him. She can't be in the house as it's a constant remind and I fear she will make rash decisions, selling and buying another house too quickly. She has spoken about getting a small dog but also about getting an apartment, which is a bad combination. Having dogs myself, we will advise her not to consider both options together. Dh has also taken on a very protective role looking after her and has excellent plans for her in keeping her company and keeping her occupied, which sounds very exciting and not overwhelming for her.

Dh has also been very helpful with the arrangements and also in supporting me. He has paid me some lovely compliments and has been amazing, never once grumbled even though he is tired from nights etc.

How are you Oma? Did you spend an enjoyable easter Sunday? It was such a special day for you for lots of special reasons. I think you and Bes are to knitting as I am to orchids. My new passion . Anyway it's good to have something to enjoy and knitting and orchids are certainly not the worst things, well that's what I say to justify my latest find that funnily enough, fell off the shelf too, like Bes found out in the yarn shop. These things do happen you know

don't you poor thing. Dutchoma's post said it all perfectly.

Just to say I'm keeping you in my prayers and I'm praying for a medical all clear for you. X

Of course such things happen Dont and they happen for a reason. An orchid jumping off the shelf into your trolley is a gift from the Lord which should be accepted with grateful thanks, same with any yarn that is begging to be taken home.

Easter was fine, I went to a church I don't usually go to and it was a lovely service. Ds, ddil and darling Rose came to dinner and we had three Easter egg hunts. I was still getting over a cold so felt very tired, but it was a lovely day all the same.

Well, long story but I'll try and keep it short. We all went back to our old church (OC) and I sat with DC2 while DH took DC1 to Sunday school. I was anxious before going and DC2 was quite noisy but honestly I just felt really lonely - stuck in the far end of a large side chapel and with no children for them to play with.
At New Church there are several other preschool children. Anyway DH has another year on the PCC and he doesn't want to leave entirely, but he agrees that the DCs should meet other children at church.
So we've agreed I will mainly take one DC to NC, and he will sometimes come with us and sometimes go to OC, and that maybe we'll go to OC for the music once in a while especially high days/holidays.

dont - I can only try to imagine how tough this is for you and, like Oma, I'd love to shake your sister and make her realise how she is making you feel. Rest assured of my prayers.

Drspouse - sounds like a way forward. So sad that in one church you feel so lonely though. Church should be a community.

Oma - sounds like you had a lovely, if tiring, Easter with DS and family.

Please can I ask your prayers for my DS. I last posted on here about 3 wks ago and said he had a cough, well he STILL has a cough. He's been to the Dr twice and is now on ABs and an inhaler but it doesn't seem to be making any difference. He has no other symptoms but he coughs so much he chokes and vomits. We need him well again.

Praying for you all.
Prayers for me were definitely answered as DS has been much happier at nursery. Thank you so much.
Don't I'm praying that you are pleased with the service you have arranged for your dad. You have worked so hard. That you are able to get through the reading and that you have your hospital appointments promptly and all is well.

Sorry I must go to sleep but am praying for all here.

Sounds like a enjoyed a lovely easter Oma although you were recovering from your cold. Three easter egg hunts sounds fun. Glad you enjoyed your weekend.

Prayers Ses for a speedy and full recovery. That sounds very distressing and I hope he is feeling better very soon.

Twee that's good news. I bet you feel a bit of relief. You won't ever feel full relief as your a mum and we are always on high alert where our children are concerned. I think Sophia Lopen once said that 'a mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her children' and this is so true I think. Really hoping that things continue in this direction and get easier for you all.

Funeral service is today. Eek. I have mixed feelings. Can't believe it still. Quite tearful too and kept waking up in the night.

Everything is ready, just got to press everyones clothes and shine shoes (again lol). I had a practice of my speech and dh and the dc said I was perfect. Infact on the way home, dd3 said that she was proud and thought that's my mum up there. Which is a huge complaint coming from a teenager. I would rather have a kind word than a physical gift if that makes sense.

Please can you pray for dad today for the celebration of his life and for strength for us too. Yesterday mum had a massive meltdown and didn't think she could go today. I just told her to sleep on it and in the morning if she couldn't go, then we would have to do it for dad. I think that she will give it a go. Really worried about her. Going to have a lot on keeping an eye on her as dad and her were a tight pair and she hasn't any hobbies, although she has a few good friend's.

Please if you can, pray for us from 2.15
I will be really grateful. It's been such a comfort all along the way to have had your support and prayers and today is going to be tough. RIP dad, I was privileged to be your child x

Sophia Lopen......autocorrect indeed......

Complaint is compliment. And it's only 8.42 eek